Backsliding Ch. 06

"You're right, Rachel. No matter what Mike did, he still loves his girls and they have a right to be with their father when they can." I said. Rachel and Sarah both nodded agreement.

"I know, but I feel sorry for them. Mike isn't a bad man, but he's not right with the church, either. When the girls go over there, he allows them to watch TV, wear shorts and do things that I'd never allow. When they get back home, I have to work hard to deprogram them from the sin he's allowed them to experience. Kayla is still a little young, but Haylee is already bugging me because Mike promised her she could get her ears pierced. There's no telling what he'll do these next few weeks while he has them for the summer."

Sarah spoke up. "Those poor girls. I know it must be hard trying to straddle the fence and live in two different worlds with two different parents. Are you sure you want them to live life that way, Rachel?"

"What do you mean? What other choice do I have?"

"Well," Sarah hesitated, but then took a deep breath and decided to push forward, "have you considered maybe loosening up a little?"

Rachel picked up on where Sarah was going with this and sighed. I expected her to immediately get angry, but instead she replied with a simple "yes". Sarah asked her to explain.

"Ever since I took Mike back, we had some pretty serious conversations about the church, the girls, and our future. We had actually talked about finding a congregation that wasn't so strict, but I got cold feet and wouldn't follow through with it. After that, he went back to Michelle and that was that."

"So you just decided to stay at our old home church?"

"Well, not exactly. Actually, I just haven't had the motivation to go much lately. I've been finding various excuses to stay home, especially when the girls aren't with me. I haven't been to church at all in over a month."

"So does that mean you're quitting the church?" Sarah asked bluntly.

"Of course not!" Rachel shot back, obviously upset. "Why do you say that? Just because you wanted to go out and experience the world doesn't mean I want to!"

"Calm down. It was a valid question and you know it. We've been taught our entire lives that when someone starts missing church on a regular basis; they are sliding away from the truth. Hell, it happened to me, so why wouldn't I ask if it was happening to you?"

"You don't have to swear. No, sister, it's not happening to me. I love the church and what it stands for."

"Okay, fair enough. So you're not getting the urge to experiment?"

Rachel started to shake her head, but stopped. She shrugged her shoulders and looked at her sister. "I can't lie to you, Sarah. I know I'm not where I need to be spiritually. This whole divorce has taken its toll on me. To be honest, I have been dabbling in things I wouldn't ordinarily do."

I saw a brief smile cross Sarah's face as she shot a quick glance at me. "Like what?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing much, I guess. You can see that my skirts are shorter than I normally would have worn them. I'm wearing my hair down more. I find myself watching TV more and more when I'm at a friend's house. I listen to secular music on the radio. Little things, I guess."

"What about sex? Are you getting any?"

"Sarah Rene! How dare you ask me that?" Rachel almost screamed. I choked on the tea I'd just swallowed.

"I think it's a very valid question. Obviously you're not getting laid. Do you want to?"

Rachel shot me a glance and looked back at Sarah. I knew she was uneasy talking about it in front of me, but Sarah wouldn't let her out that easy. I knew Sarah had something up her sleeve and she was purposely putting her sister in an uncomfortable situation.

"Look, Rach," Sarah said, "you're a grown woman with needs. You've been married since you were 19 years old. Aren't you lonely?"

"Yes, I'm lonely. I know it's only been a few months, but I'd like to start trying to date a little. I feel so unattractive. I couldn't even keep Michael happy. How am I going to attract someone else? There aren't any single guys my age at church. It's one of the reasons I've sort of lost interest in going. I feel awkward being there alone after all these years. All the single men are taken."

"No they're not, Rachel," Sarah said. "You're just not looking in the right places."

After that, the conversation just drifted back into mundane topics. Sarah had planted her seed and she'd wait to see how it developed. Later that night after we'd gone to bed, I asked Sarah what she meant to do about her sister.

"I'm going to corrupt her," she said. I was surprised and said something to the effect.

"Just a few weeks ago you were really struggling with guilt because a couple of your students and a friend quit the church. Now you're going to try and get your sister to quit?"

"I know I'm evil," she laughed sarcastically, "but it's for the best. Rachel is miserable inside and she's ready to get out there and live a little. I'm going to help her."

"And you don't feel guilty for doing that? Aren't you leading her down the pathway to sin?" I half joked.

"No, actually I don't feel guilty for it. Rachel is a grown ass woman who can make grown ass decisions for herself. If she chooses to break a few rules and have a little fun it's because she wanted to. I can't force her to do anything. I can only give her the opportunity. The decision is hers."

Sarah spent as much time with her sister as possible over the next week. She had some vacation days coming from work, so she took those to spend with Rachel. They kept the wheels hot on her convertible, showing her all the tourist spots in the area. In the mean time, Sarah asked me to have some of the single guys from work to meet up Friday at the Spoke. I asked her if she was sure her sister would go to a bar with us and she just smiled and nodded.

There were a few guys at the shop who were roughly Rachel's age, so I made sure they were going to be at the Spoke that evening. I clocked out early and met Sarah at the house. Rachel was in the den watching TV when we both walked in.

"What are you doing, Rachel? Get up and let's get dressed! We've got places to go and people to meet! You can't mope around the house your whole life."

"What are you talking about? Where are you planning to take me? It's not a bar is it? You know I don't go to bars!"

"Oh, come on sister. Lighten up a little. I've spent enough time with you this week to know you're more than ready to go to a bar. You're not living right and you know it. Quit making excuses. Now get up and let's go get your groove on!"

"I can't. I don't have anything to wear," she motioned toward her long jean skirt. "Even if I wanted to go out with you, which I don't, I couldn't go looking like this."

"I've got some jeans you could wear. Hell, I've got plenty of clothes you could wear. So now what's your excuse?"

"I don't wear jeans and you know it."

"We could make an exception for once, but you don't have to wear jeans. I've got some nice shorter skirts that you'd be smoking hot in as well, let's go!" Despite her protests, Sarah pulled Rachel to her feet. She motioned for me to go start getting dressed myself. I took the hint.

Twenty minutes later, I was drinking my first beer of the night when I heard Sarah exclaim behind me, "Ladies and gentlemen! May I have your attention please? I now present, for your viewing pleasure, one smoking hot babe. Please make welcome the new and improved, Rachel McAdams! Drum roll please?"

I got up and pretended to do a drum roll, making the silly noise with my mouth. Shyly, my sister-in-law stepped out around the corner and into the den. My jaw dropped and Sarah smiled. Standing before me was a beautiful woman. Rachel was wearing makeup for the first time in her life. Sarah had become adept at using makeup since going to work at the salon and Rachel looked like a professional had done her eyes, cheeks and lips. The dark eye shadow made her baby blues almost pop out of her skull. Her brown hair had been straightened and hung down over each one of her breasts, which were themselves pronounced under the spaghetti strap top that she wore. The top hugged her breasts and then flared out slightly almost like a dress, stopping just below her waist line. I noticed that Sarah hadn't been able to talk Rachel into wearing jeans, but she was wearing one of Sarah's shorter jean skirts. Rachel was taller than Sarah and the skirt stopped mid-calf on her sister, accenting her gorgeous long legs, which were further enhanced by a pair of thick soled stripper pumps. I noticed that Sarah had even talked her sister into wearing a nice pearl necklace and some bracelets. I whistled at Rachel and she smiled.

"You like?" Sarah asked me.

"Hell yeah, I like. Rachel, you're fucking hot!"

Rachel flinched at my use of profanity, but smiled and blushed anyway. I could tell she was enjoying the compliments. Sarah, who looked equally hot in her tight daisy duke shorts and cowboy boots, looked genuinely happy for her sister. On the way to the bar, Sarah phoned Kelly to tell her that Rachel was going with us and suggested she meet us there. Kelly, who had known Rachel for years, readily agreed. She and Richard were waiting there with Tommy and Lizzie when we arrived.

Rachel was the hit of the evening. For a girl who had never been inside a bar before, she took to it like a duck to water. None of us encouraged her to drink, which she didn't, but by the end of the evening she was taking sips of Sarah's beer. The girls eventually convinced Rachel to get out on the dance floor with them and she seemed to enjoy it, though she had no experience dancing. Eventually, several guys made their rounds to our table and asked Rachel to dance. She kept the dance floor hot for the next hour or so, rarely having time to come back to our table.

I noticed that she was spending a considerable amount of time on the floor with a big black guy. I noticed that after the second or third time he danced with her, he brought her back to his seat at the bar. I nudged Sarah when I saw the bartender put a mixed drink down in front of Rachel. I also noticed when the black guy put his hand on Rachel's thigh. I felt that old feeling of protection coming down on me and I started to get up and go have a little "chat" with Rachel's friend, but Sarah stopped me. She said that Rachel was a big girl; let her do what she wanted tonight. I sat back down, but I still kept my eye on them.

Eventually Rachel brought him back to our table and introduced him as Marcus. He sat down for a few minutes and ordered us a round of drinks. As we got to talking, he seemed like a decent enough sort. For the rest of the evening, he monopolized Rachel and bought her several drinks. When it was time to go, he kissed her good night. Rachel wasn't drunk, but she had a really good buzz, so we decided to leave a little early before she got too wasted.

The next morning was Saturday and I had plenty of things to do around the house. Sarah let Rachel sleep in, but when she finally got up and got her headache under control, Sarah suggested they go shopping. Rachel readily agreed. Several hours later they returned with several large bags from different department stores. I expected that we'd be going out again tonight if Rachel hadn't been scared off from too much partying too soon in her journey. It turns out I was wrong. Rachel hadn't been scared off, not by a long shot, but she wasn't going out with her sister tonight, either. It seems that Marcus had invited her to go out with him instead and she had accepted.

He knocked on our door about a quarter of eight. Rachel was still in the back getting dressed with Sarah's help, so I played host for a few minutes. The more I talked to Marcus, the more I liked him. He seemed like a genuinely good guy. Like Rachel, he was recently divorced, and had a daughter. We found common ground in sports and motorcycles and had a great conversation going when Rachel finally walked in the room.

She was stunningly beautiful once Sarah got through with her makeup and wardrobe. I smiled and winked at Sarah when I saw that Rachel was wearing a pair of Sarah's jeans. They accented her curves just right. Her hair was teased out and she looked ready to party. I heard her tell Sarah not to wait up for her as she walked out the door. Sarah just smiled and said not a chance.

Sarah didn't wait up for Rachel, but she was certainly waiting for her Sunday morning when Rachel did get up. Sarah wanted all the details and Rachel reluctantly gave them to her. They were sitting in the den talking and I was at the kitchen table eating breakfast. I could hear the entire conversation.

"So how did it go last night?" asked Sarah?

"It went fine. I had a good time. Marcus is nice."

"Just nice?"

"Yeah, just nice. He's a lot of fun and he's really easy to talk to. He's bad for me, though."

"Why is he bad for you?" asked Sarah.

"He's bad for me because he can get me to do things I wouldn't ordinarily do."

"Oh, please tell!" Sarah exclaimed, suddenly excited. "Did you, uh, do the deed? Is it true what they say about black guys?"

"Oh for god's sake, Sarah! It was our first date. Do you really think I'd have sex with a total stranger on our first date?"

"Yes," Sarah giggled.

"You know me entirely too well, little sister," I heard Rachel reply laughing. "And yeah, judging by my very limited experience, what they say about black men is definitely true."

Both girls laughed out loud at that. I tried to keep myself from choking on my cereal and waited for the conversation to continue. I didn't have to wait long.

"So, tell me all about the date. Did he wine you and dine you?"

"Sure did. He was a complete gentleman the entire evening. He only did one thing that almost scared me away, but in the end, I just tried to put it past us and enjoy the evening anyway."

"What did he do?"

"He tried to get me to smoke marijuana. We had gone parking like a couple of kids in high school. We drove up to this scenic overlook in some national forest outside of town. He backed his truck up to the edge, we sat on the tailgate and shared a bottle of bourbon and then he pulled out a cigar, or what I thought was a cigar."

"A blunt," I heard Sarah say.

"Yeah, he offered me some of his blunt, but I wouldn't take it."

"Not that blunt, anyway," Sarah winked at her sister playfully. "Why didn't you smoke it?"

"What do you mean, why not? Because it was a drug, Sarah. Oh, my god, you've tried it, haven't you?"

"No comment," I heard Sarah say.

"Oh no, sister, you're not getting off that easy. You've smoked pot, haven't you? Jesus, sister, you really have been wild since you backslid, haven't you?"

"It's not that big of a deal, Rachel, really. If you have to know, I did try it once."

"Did you like it? I mean, what was it like?

"Oh, so you were tempted to smoke with Marcus, weren't you? Don't try to lie to me, big sister. I can tell when you're lying." Both girls just laughed and changed the subject.

We had a party of sorts planned for that afternoon. We planned a short bike ride through the national forest with Tommy, Lizzie, Edward, Kelly, Janet and Edward, and then we would meet back up at our place and grill some steaks and drink some beer. Rachel called Marcus and she rode double with him, just as the other ladies were riding double with their husbands. After the ride, we settled in for some good food and good fun. The beer flowed rather freely and even Rachel seemed to be at ease walking around with a long neck in her hands. Around four o'clock, most of the company had left. Marcus said that he had to go run an errand for his daughter, but promised to come back later to pick Rachel up for anther ride. I settled down in the hammock and tried to take a nap. Sarah and Rachel were at the patio table chatting.

I drifted in and out of sleep, but did catch bits and pieces of their girl talk. Not much of it interested me until I heard Sarah ask Rachel, "so, do you want to try it or not?" My ears immediately perked up. I didn't know what they were talking about, but I thought I had an idea.

"I don't know, Sarah, that's a huge step, don't you think?"

"Well, let's see... you're wearing jeans, wearing makeup, wearing jewelry, you have an appointment to get your hair cut tomorrow, and you're fucking a black guy. So, uh, no, I don't think smoking a joint is really that big of a deal. Do you want to try it or not?"

"What will it do to me? I don't want to get addicted or anything."

"It's weed, Rachel, not crystal meth. You're not going to get addicted. I promise. So would you try it if you could?"

"Yeah, probably, if you did, but I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else. Not even Marcus. But that doesn't matter because you don't have any." Rachel said, obviously nervous. Then she added, "Do you?"

"Maybe. Why don't you wait here while I go see if Jim really threw it out like I told him to?"

I heard Sarah get up and go into the house. I had every intention of throwing the small wooden box of marijuana that Lizzie had given Sarah out like she had asked, but I never quite got around to it. It still sat in the back of my dresser drawer where I had put it the night Sarah tried it in our bedroom. I heard her come back outside a few minutes later. I heard her set the wooden box on the table.

"What about Jim? I can't do this with Jim here." Rachel sounded nervous.

"He's asleep. He sleeps like a bear after he's had a few beers. He won't wake up, I promise."

I tried to keep from smiling as I continue to feign sleep. I could hear Sarah getting out the makings. I knew that she had smoked both of the joints that Lizzie had given her so if they were going to smoke now, she was going to have to roll one herself. I cracked one eye and watched my wife roll a fatty for her sister. I felt that familiar bulge start in my jeans again. It was almost more than I could bear when I saw Sarah put the end of the joint in her mouth and light it. She inhaled deeply and held the smoke in for what seemed like a solid minute. When she exhaled, she coughed softly and smiled at her sister. She handed Rachel the joint.

"What do I do?"

"Just do what I did. Inhale real deep and hold it as long as you can." Rachel did as instructed and immediately went into a coughing fit.

Sarah giggled and took the joint back from her. Sarah took another hit and handed it back to Rachel. "Shhhh, you're going to wake Sleeping Beauty over there. Here, try it again. Don't try to take in so much this time."

Still feigning sleep, I kept one eye open as much as I could and watched in amazement as these two sisters bonded over a joint. Something that was completely taboo and forbidden just a few months ago now seemed like second nature as they chatted, laughed and broke into hysterical giggles at the slightest thing.

"How do you feel, big sister?" asked Sarah as she finished the roach of the joint.

"Hmmm, I don't know how to describe it, but I think I'm high. I can't believe I let you get me stoned."

"I can't believe you let me do a lot of things I've talked you into this week. But I'm glad you did. I've had a lot of fun. I've missed you, sis."

"I've missed you, too, Sarah. Thank you for helping me this week. I knew when I came here that I was ready for something different in my life, but I was afraid to try it. Now I'm trying all kinds of shit and I'm not afraid of any of it."

"Did you just say shit?" Sarah asked.

"Fucking right I said shit," Rachel said. They both broke into hysterical laughter again.

"I'm fucking starving," Sarah said. "I've got the munchies, big time. Let's go find something to eat in the kitchen while we wait on Marcus to come back and give you another ride on his big black hog!" They broke into hysterical laughter again. When I heard the patio doors slide shut behind them, I grabbed my throbbing dick and squeezed.