Bad Dream

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"You bastard!" Sheila shouted at me as she knelt down beside the not so proud Pridey who was rolling on the floor in pain.

"Well, he asked for it!"

"And you had to be the big man and break his bloody knee?"

"What the fuck was I supposed to do, let him hit me?"

"You shouldn't be here. I don't want to see you any more and I certainly don't want to be married to a man who tried to kill me."

"What the fuck are you talking about? I've never done anything to harm you."

"Oh, yeah? Well, I've had therapy and it's helped me remember what happened the night you threw me down the stairs."

The conversation stopped at that point as two police officers grabbed hold of me from behind. I hadn't heard them arrive. They handcuffed me and pushed me into the back of a meat wagon.

At the nick, I was charged with assault and battery and then shoved into a cell. You might get the idea now, why policemen aren't my favourite people.

Anyway I called the local criminal solicitor. He'd represented a few acquaintances of mine in the past. It didn't take him long to get me out.

Unfortunately for Pridey, security cameras covered the street outside Sheila's offices. Foolishly I didn't press charges for assault against him; the video, although it had no sound, definitely showed him attacking me.

After that I tried a couple of times to talk some sense into Sheila, but to no avail. Things really came to a head when a few of the boys and myself went to a restaurant for a meal one evening.

We'd been there for sometime when who should I spy walking in but Sheila and her best mate Amy. Followed by Pridey and some other guy. Pridey was still limping a little and he was using a walking stick.

They didn't notice us sitting in our corner, when they sat down for their meal. Pridey sitting opposite Sheila. There was nothing lovey dovey about the way they behaved towards each other, but I was really pissed off at seeing them together.

The boys managed to keep me under control as we finished our meal rather hurriedly. The plan was for us to leave quietly, but Pridey couldn't keep his bloody mouth shut when he saw me. As loud as he could, he said, "Right now, Sheila my love, what would you like for your sweet?"

It was so loud it was obvious that it was meant for my ears. I changed direction so that I would walk past their table. The expression on Pridey's face changed from belligerence to a look of apprehension. When I got to the table I stopped and leaning down so I wouldn't have to speak too loudly myself, I told them, "If either of you try to embarrass me in public again, I'll not be held responsible for my actions. Now, Sheila, if you want to set up home with this arsehole, apply for a divorce like any civilised person and don't try to think up lies to get me put in prison."

"I didn't! Marty, this is not what it looks like. I was just..."

I didn't hear anymore as I had walked out of earshot. As we got into the car outside, one of my friends told me that Sheila's friend Amy had followed us out and was standing on the pavement calling my name. I just told the guy driving to drive on.

A few weeks later my solicitor informed me he had heard from Sheila's legal people. Divorce went through in a few months. Our lovely house was sold and our assets divided equally. As there were no children and apparently Sheila was getting married again, there was no alimony to discuss. Well she didn't ask for any.

So that brings us to where we were just over a year after the divorce, Sheila was in hospital again and the police suspected that I was involved in some way.

++++++++++++++++++

When I got to the hospital, I was surprised to find that Sheila was registered as Sleeman. I had thought she would have married the prick by now. After I had identified myself to a nurse, she showed me into a room and asked me to wait for the doctor.

"Mr Sleeman?" the doctor asked as he entered the room.

"That's me."

"Sorry, I'm confused. There was a man here earlier who said he was Mrs Sleeman's fiancé."

"He could well be. I haven't seen Sheila for over a year now. I'm her ex-husband. But you remember the vows, in sickness and in health, for better for worse and all that crap. Just because we're divorced, it doesn't mean that I'm not concerned about her."

"Um, this is a bit unusual but besides her fiancé there doesn't appear to be anyone else, no other relatives."

"That's correct; as far as I'm aware Sheila has no other relatives. She was orphaned some years ago before I met her."

"I'm not sure how we go on this one but it can't do any harm to tell you. And we'll need someone to help us with the release forms. Her fiancé tells us she's a Jehovah's Witness. But really we need to operate on her, the sooner the better. Her fiancée says she wouldn't agree to invasive surgery but without it she's going to die."

"Jehovah's Witness! What the fuck are you talking about? Sheila isn't religious and she couldn't have changed that much. No, hang on a minute, I know she isn't. I saw a friend of hers the other week and I'm sure she would have told me if Sheila had suddenly got religion. Give me a minute and I'll check with Sheila's best friend Amy. I'm surprised she isn't here anyway."

I got out my mobile phone to call Amy. She would know if this Jehovah's Witness lark were true or not. But the doctor stopped me and told me to turn my phone off and use a landline.

Then I called Sheila's office. Amy was shocked to hear that Sheila had been in an accident. I asked her why Tony Pride hadn't told every one at the office about it and she informed me that Tony didn't work there any more. When I mentioned the Jehovah's Witness lark, Amy was shocked and said there was no way that was true.

I told the doc who was still standing there waiting and he asked me if I could get Amy to the local magistrate's court in a hurry. Then the doctor and I set out for the court ourselves but in a police car. Amy arrived just as we did.

We were ushered into an office where we found Tony Pride and a guy who I took to be a solicitor. They were apparently trying to convince a judge to issue an order that no invasive surgery was to be carried out on Sheila. It was apparent that the judge did not like the idea. Once Amy and I had had our say, he gave the doctor authority to do what he thought was in the patient's best interests until she was able to make those decisions for herself.

The doctor immediately called the hospital and Sheila was in the theatre by the time we arrived back there. Strangely, when we came out of the courthouse, Tony Pride was nowhere to be found.

I was sitting in the waiting room when Doug Collins arrived.

"I see you never made it to the pub. I guessed you'd still be here."

"Christ, what's the bloody time?" I asked."

"Seven-thirty."

"Bugger! Where's the bloody phone?" Amy said as she rushed out of the room, I assume to call someone and put off a date.

"How is she?" Colin asked.

"Still in the theatre, she's been down there for hours."

"Damn, I hope she makes it for your sake."

"Thanks, Doug. Now what did you want to talk about?"

"Well, you know what they say about a copper's nose. It was something that the old girl said to me this morning. I'm pretty sure someone was trying to set you up for a fall last night. That nosy neighbour of yours spotted a Range Rover just like yours come into the car park by your flat a couple of times last night. It was in there twice - once about half ten and then again about half eleven - and the second time it turned up it only had one headlight working.

"I get the feeling whoever was driving it was playing dirty. If it happened to pass any video cameras on route to the accident it would show up at the right time on the right cameras going both ways. I suspect they expected your car to be parked in the car park and they would have most likely smashed your headlight to match the damage on the Range Rover that hit Sheila."

"But why?"

"Hang on, I haven't finished. You remember when Sheila fell down the stairs the other year. I came around and had a word with you. Well, we were acting on an anonymous tip off. I'll give you one guess where that tip off came from."

I must have looked confused.

"The call box in the foyer of Sheila's office building. We know it was a guy because it was recorded. And guess what time it was made? Just after half a dozen of them had returned from visiting Sheila here. I think she told them she couldn't remember what had happened the day before and one of them decided to get up to some mischief.

"Well, since that day I've had a good idea who, but I haven't been able to figure out the why. Of course you knocking him about didn't help any."

"You think Pridey set about driving Sheila and me apart."

"I'm bloody sure he did. What better way to separate a couple than to get her to believe her husband tried to kill her?"

Amy returned at this point.

"Well, I suppose he wanted Sheila divorced and single so he could marry her."

"He might want to marry Sheila. But she doesn't want to marry him," Amy said with an uncharacteristic tone to her voice.

"But they're engaged," I said.

"According to him, but not according to her! She goes out with him socially but that's all. I don't think they have even kissed each other, let alone anything else. He's asked her to marry him on more than one occasion but she's got a problem about accepting. He tells everybody that they are engaged, but sometimes Sheila has had a real go at him over it."

"I don't understand. What's her problem?"

"You! You lug head. She's in love with you."

"Talk sense, Amy. Sheila divorced me remember!"

"Yes, because she likes living. Sheila has been in a real mess for the last year or so, ever since you started playing around with that girl. Sheila knew you wanted to get her out of the way so you could marry the mother of your children."

"What the hell are you talking about now? I haven't been playing around with anybody and I certainly haven't got any little bastards out there."

"Well, that's what Sheila believes, because someone put the idea into her head that you've got a girlfriend somewhere and she's convinced you tried to kill her. I know she's been very confused that you haven't moved in with the girl."

"Amy's right, you know, Marty," Doug added, "And I think it's Tony Pride who's been putting these ideas into Sheila's head. I'm pretty sure it was Tony Pride who accused you of throwing her down those stairs. It was Tony Pride who attacked you outside the office that night and it was Tony Pride who claimed it was you driving that Range Rover last night."

"But what's the guy up to? Assuming that it was him who organised that so-called accident last night, what the hell is his motive for trying to kill her? Surely it couldn't be because she wouldn't marry him."

"I know, it doesn't make any sense. But that's what we've got to find out. Find the motive and you've normally got the crime solved. Whatever, with all that farce about Sheila being a Jehovah's Witness, he certainly showed his hand. It looks to me that he wants Sheila dead for some reason," Doug said. "Let's start at the beginning."

"One. He or someone plants the idea in Sheila's head that you've got a bit on the side. They added some children to make it look like a long term affair."

"Two. Someone convinces Sheila that her falling down the stairs when she was drunk wasn't an accident. Oh, by the way, you do know that Sheila didn't have enough alcohol in her blood that night to be done for drunk driving."

"That's rubbish. She could hardly stand up."

"Well, that isn't what the blood tests they took here showed. The trouble is they left it too late to find out what else could have been in her blood that night. The doc thought she had taken what he termed a recreational drug. But that could mean anything."

"What? You think that Pridey drugged her? Do you think he was after getting her into bed that night?" I asked.

"No, it wasn't Tony who had those kinds of ideas," Amy interjected. "It was some friend of his. Look, we all went to the pub for a drink that night to celebrate one of the other girl's birthday. Around seven some of us went up the road to get something to eat. Sheila didn't come with us; she said she was going home when she had finished her drink.

Anyway when we got back to the pub about nine, Sheila was out on the floor dancing. Honestly she was off her head! I'd never seen her dancing like that before; it was like she couldn't stop. Just after eleven the drink seemed to hit her and she virtually collapsed. This Bob or whoever he was said he would take her home."

"Oh, yeah, and you can see us letting that happen when Sheila was as drunk as a skunk. The girls and I insisted that she come in our taxi with us. This Bob guy wasn't too pleased about that, but we were adamant and then Tony stepped in and told him to leave it."

"Hmm, let's make that three. What would have been your reaction if Sheila had woken up in someone else's bed in the morning, Marty? Don't tell me; I can guess. That plan didn't work, so when our friend finds out Sheila's had an accident and can't remember what happened, he points the finger at you."

"But Sheila did remember, that shrink guy she went to. He was a doctor who hypnotised her and she remembered." Amy exclaimed.

"Oh, yeah, I got the report on those allegations," Doug said. "Look, I was in that kitchen the following day. Nothing Sheila said fitted correctly. If there had been the fight that Sheila claimed they had.... Look, there just wasn't the room, unless half the furniture had been smashed and it wasn't. And that door to the cellar, it opens outwards. How the hell could Marty have pushed her through it? Remember there were no marks, no damage, nothing! Plus the security camera is just outside the back door; the microphone would have picked up any shouting or screaming. All it picked up was Marty shouting a warning to Sheila and her scream as she fell. No, I'm damned sure Sheila opened the door herself and walked through it thinking it was the door to the hall.

"Have you ever heard of planted memories, Amy? Well, that's what I suspect was somehow done to Sheila; by that quack or whatever he was who hypnotised her. Her story was inconsistent with the facts, as I know them. Have you any idea who this therapist was she went to see?"

"Someone that Tony knew, I think," Amy replied.

"You see, Tony Pride again. But just what was the bugger up to?" Doug asked looking at me.

"Well, I'm buggered if I know. If he wanted to steal my wife, why the hell would he try to kill her?"

"Maybe we are looking at this wrong. Supposing Tony Pride wanted Sheila dead all the time," Doug suggested.

"But why would he want to separate her from me first?" I asked.

"That's what we've go to work out, Marty." Doug sat back in his chair, obviously thinking.

Amy, who had been looking very thoughtful, suddenly asked, "Marty, could Sheila have had any relatives with money?"

"Not that I know of. Why?"

"Look, I'm speculating here. But what if Sheila was going to inherit a lot of money from some relative you didn't know existed. You know a long lost aunt or something. Look, this is all a bit Agatha Christie, I know, but I like her books. Now let's just imagine for a minute that Tony Pride is also related to this unknown benefactor; but a little further removed so if Sheila dies he would inherit."

"Now if Sheila was to die whilst she was married to you, even though she didn't know she had inherited the money, it would go to you as her husband. But if you were divorced first before she inherited, it wouldn't go to you. It would go to the next nearest relative in line. And I'll bet I can guess who that is going to turn out to be!"

"But why the attempted frame on me for the accident last night?"

"Because you can't legally benefit from a crime in this country, even if you could prove that whoever it was the money is coming from died and left it to Sheila before you were divorced. If you had killed her, you couldn't inherit the money anyway."

We both sat there looking at Doug now.

"Far fetched, I'll give you, but it certainly fits the scenario. I'm going back to the nick to see what I can dig up on our Mr Anthony Pride and while I'm at it, Marty, give me Sheila's maiden name and do you know where she was born?"

"Smith, her maiden name was Sheila Smith. But I haven't got the faintest idea where she was born. She never has been very forthcoming about her childhood. All I can really tell you is that she's an orphan. But her birth certificate must be somewhere."

"I'll need to find it if I can."

"I think there must a copy in the files at home. I don't remember her taking it with her. I'll have a look and dig it out later."

"Right. If you don't hear from me first, call me on my mobile; here's the number," Doug said. He gave me a card and then left the room.

Amy and I sat alone together for another hour before one of the doctors came in to see us. The operation was over. Sheila had a fractured skull and there had been a lot of bleeding into her brain. We gathered they had had some difficulty stopping the bleeding.

I wouldn't say the doctor was pessimistic but he was annoyed that Tony Pride had delayed the operation with all the crap about Sheila being a Jehovah's Wtness. With the way litigation goes nowadays they needed to get the permission of a judge before they could proceed once they had been told that.

He said the prognosis was fair but not good. They would keep Sheila sedated for the next few days while they waited for some swelling of her brain to go down. Amy and I went in to see her, but all we could see were bandages and tubes going everywhere. You know, you've all seen those machines beeping away on the telly. The doctors told us Sheila had numerous broken bones but it was the injuries to her head that they were worried about.

Amy and I left the hospital together and we went for a meal at a nearby fish and chip shop. I dropped Amy home and she asked me to pick her up and take her back to the hospital in the morning. She had no intention of returning to work until she knew Sheila was alright.

At home, I searched our files for Sheila's birth certificate but couldn't find it. Then it struck me. None of our papers were there. No marriage licence or decree nisi and Sheila's old passport was gone. I'd given her current one to her solicitor when he had asked for it. But I was sure he hadn't asked for her other papers.

Yes, I had been playing silly buggers at the time of the divorce; if Sheila didn't ask, she didn't get. Well, when you're playing a losing hand any small victory makes you feel a little bit better.

I didn't sleep well that night. Shit, I don't think I slept at all. Amy and I were back at the hospital at eight o'clock. But there was no change in Sheila's condition. Tony Pride hadn't showed up again either.

I rang my office and told them I wouldn't be in again for some time. They didn't object, which is the advantage of being good at your job - they didn't want to lose me.

Doug Collins turned up again about half ten. I noticed DS Moon came with him this time but he stayed well away from me, except when he came over to ask me how Sheila was. He'd already spoken to the doctor so I think he was trying to build a bridge.

Doug said that they couldn't find Tony Pride. Well, not the Tony Pride that we all knew. Whoever he was, he had stolen the identity of someone else. The Tony Pride that his paperwork referred to was living in Australia. The address he had been using was a rented room in a house; apparently they only ever saw him about once a week when he collected his mail. Everything that was known about him was false.

Two weeks passed with Amy and I sitting by Sheila's bed all day every day. Then one morning Doug Collins came in and told us he'd managed to trace Sheila's now dead great uncle. Apparently the guy had several million pounds that Sheila would inherit. It turned out she had been orphaned much younger than I had thought. She had been adopted and her new parents had changed her surname.