Bad Girl Ch. 02

"Meridith, I want you to just stand up and bare your breasts." Doctor Tomlinson told me.

I looked up at him. We were in perhaps our 5th or 6th session, I wasn't really sure of that. This time he had hooked a simple heart monitor to me, then had me sit down. I could not see the screen from my seat, and he had the sound turned off.

Doctor Hajjari had made arrangements for the sessions, he had walked into my office one afternoon, there was a paperwork error and he simply wanted my handwritten notes so they could correct the billings.

I was sitting there quietly crying.

I am a sexual surrogate, I had just finished a successful two hours with a client. The client was a nice man, in his forties. He had managed very well, my notes would show that he had solid improvements and could perform normally in the right situations.

All that was left for him in his life was to find the correct situations, and Jeanie, the other therapist on staff had been working with his wife to help her improve.

It had been an easy one, most are not.

"What's wrong, Meridith?" Doctor Hajjari asked me.

"Nothing." I answered, although I could see in his eyes that he didn't believe that.

The truth is that I always sit and cry quietly after a session. There had been perhaps a dozen or so successful completions to this point, not a lot really.

That is what we call it in my profession.

Completions.

"I want you to start going to see Doctor Tomlinson, Meridith. I had thought you could turn off the emotions, but it seems you can't completely." He came over and reached out to me, his hand gently brushing my shoulder.

Doctor Hajarri was one of the very few men I knew that I trusted completely. He was a small middle eastern man, not one time had he ever done or said anything at all untowards.

I gathered myself back up, turning in seconds into the smiling, relaxed and together woman I pretend to be. I saw him blink at the sudden transformation.

"Yes, I think it is important, Meridith."

I just nodded.

That is how I found myself in Doctor Tomlinson's office. He had a mannerism that is difficult to explain, somehow by the end of the first session he had me at ease. By the end of the second one he had cracked my facade, and we began to talk.

I mean, really talk.

I told him truthfully about my life, what had happened to me. I explained to him how I had become a surrogate, I spoke at length of all of the situations of exhibitionism I had done.

My training made me very good at reading the language that a person's body speaks, there was no sign at all in him to cause me pause. He spoke to me and listened, completely accepting.

When he asked two of the other male staff members to come into the office and just observe, I was not sure what he intended.

He looked at me and simply asked me to stand up and bare my breasts for him and two total strangers. The one man I had never seen before, the other I knew was an orderly but I did not know his name.

I stood up, reached up for the zipper on the light sweater I wore. In one quick motion, I pulled it all the way to the bottom, opened it and turned towards the men.

They both stood there and looked at me, surprise in their expressions. It was obvious that they were unaware of what Doctor Tomlinson intended.

"So, tell me, Meridith, what are you feeling at this exact moment?" He asked.

"Nothing." I just stood there, holding the front of my sweater open. That was the truth, I felt nothing at all. The two men gazed at me, both of their faces had turned slightly red.

"Thank you, you may go now." He dismissed them, they turned and left the room with some reluctance.

"Oh, fasten that back up please." He said, turning back to me. He glanced over at the monitor, I knew it remained unchanged. I hooked the zipper, slid it back up and sat down.

"So tell me about your most recent experience, when was it and what did you do?" Doctor Tomlinson asked me in that same unfathomable manner.

"It was last night. I went to the mall, I do almost every evening to shop. I saw a man and a woman coming up the escalator so I started down."

"What were you wearing?" He asked, glancing over at the monitor.

"A skirt, with a light blouse."

"Was it short?"

"Yes, very short."

"Was there anything beneath it?"

"No, I never wear underwear."

"Did they see you?"

"Yes." I thought about that, the woman had glanced up first, surprise at seeing a flash of my bare pussy as I stepped onto the stairs. The escalator only came upwards in this mall, it had stairs to go back down.

A perfect scenario for my evening escapades. I had pretended to not notice as the woman nudged her man and whispered, her eyes turned to me as I looked out over the room, then I saw them drop down out of the corner of my eye.

The man looked up at me, his expression changed to one of pleasure. I did my best to improve his view without being obvious about it. I really am quite extreme about that, I use a soft pink lipstick and color my pussy lips to make them stand out clearly.

I like that one particular mall very much, the huge windows face the afternoon sunlight, so there are few shadows. Also anyone walking behind me can see my upper body, my nice firm C cup breasts clearly through the thin material.

I have been followed around quite a bit, I know just where to stand to offer up the best views of my nakedness.

The familiar sensations began to waft over me, I knew they could both see clearly up between my legs to my carefully waxed loins.

I was by them quickly, my right arm supporting me with each step as my heart raced, then a solid orgasm flowed through me, making my head spin.

It was enough, it was perfect. So often I tried and no one saw, or they looked away quickly, spoiling the magic intensity I craved.

I glanced back at the two of them, they were standing at the top of the escalator, surprise still in their expression. I turned and walked out the front doors and went home.

"Interesting!" Doctor Tomlinson said, invading my vision. I had very nearly orgasmed again at the thought of the night before.

"What?" I asked.

"Your pulse, it jumped from a steady 56 to almost 90 while you were speaking. Tell me, what were you feeling?"

"An orgasm, I very nearly did."

"When do you feel the most intense climaxes, Meridith?"

"When someone sees me."

"But only like that, when it seems accidental?"

"Yes."

"During sex, do you climax?"

"I don't have sex."

"When you are with one of your clients, do you then? During or before intercourse?"

"Yes."

"How often?"

"Every time, usually when I am masturbating them. Only sometimes when they are inside me. When they are inside me, I am usually concentrating on using my inner muscles to try and keep them erect. It is like I am just too busy to actually let myself go."

"Do you masturbate yourself?"

"No."

He was busy scribbling notes. He seemed deep in thought. I noticed a sheen of sweat on his forehead. Perhaps the doctor was male after all? I grinned to myself at that thought.

I liked him. I was wondering when and if he would ask, or try to fuck me. I decided that if he did, I would let him.

"I have to admit that I have never met anyone like you, with your reactions, Meridith."

I didn't say anything, he closed his notebook and asked me to return the next week. I nodded and went back to my office.

My next client was a man named Mark. I had seen his charts, he erected normally right up to the moment of attempting entry, then it would fail.

I changed into a simple white smock, I had just returned to my desk when he arrived. He was tall, well built and quite a bit younger than my usual client. He had progressed nicely, now he was to be placed in the situation of being with a woman, but one he didn't know.

"Are you nervous?" I asked him pointedly.

"Yes, a little." He blushed slightly.

"You can relax, we have no intention of attempting intercourse today. I am just going to check your responses, talk a little, things like that."

"Oh. OK." Matt visibly relaxed. I asked him if he minded undressing for me, he nodded and reached for the buttons on his shirt.

By the time clients get to me they are used to being naked, Jeanie is famous for sitting there completely nude with her clients also naked, and then just talking. They often think there will be attempts at sex but then it doesn't happen, quite often she will not even touch them.

Sometimes she will use her hands on them. I have heard that she really likes to do that, I understood that since I also really liked to.

There was a brief moment of surprise when Mark slid his slacks down and off, his penis was enormous. Even hanging there limp it was as large as any I had ever seen, at least 8 inches just in it's relaxed state.

The notes had mentioned that of course but it still was a surprise. He was circumcised, his penis was perfectly formed. I actually felt a small tingle at the thought of being able to touch it.

I led Mark back to the bed in the side room of my office, explaining to him that today all we were going to do was touch and get him erect but nothing more.

He nodded, I began to massage his chest and upper body. In short order he was relaxed and enjoying it. Just a few touches had him fully erect, another surprise. I felt a flash of pleasure as I touched his erection for the first time. Then I began to use both hands, getting a moan from him.

I slid up onto the bed, straddling his thighs. I began to lean forward to reach his shoulders, then I used my knees to scoot forward until I was over his abdomen. I could feel his stomach with my bare fanny, then I moved and felt the coarseness of his pubic hair against me.

He lay there with his eyes closed, I reached down and grasped his penis from behind me with one hand. He was quite hard, his hips began an involuntary thrusting.

I stroked upwards, feeling the lube I had previously coated myself with transfer to him, the skin on his cock began to feel slick.

"That feels..amazing!" He muttered, just before I sat down on him, taking all of it inside me with one stroke.

His eyes flashed open, I just clamped down and pressed firmly against him. His erection held, I lifted up and dropped back down, tugging my smock up and over my head at the same time. His hands came up to my breasts almost in reflex.

I suddenly felt heat inside my loins, a flood of my own moisture released, overpowering the lube I always coat myself with prior to a session, just in case.

A minute or so later he rolled me over on my back, pushed my knees back and was pounding at me. I felt the gush as he climaxed, his upper body mashing down on me. I exploded right with him, I had no control at all over that.

"I didn't expect...." He muttered, still pressing into me. Then I felt him begin to fade, as he slipped out of me I had another small orgasm.

"You liked that, didn't you?" He grinned at me.

"Oh, God yes! It just felt so right. Usually I don't..." I managed to not complete what I was about to say.

Something about this man, it set me off. It had been quite a long time since I had felt that.

"Just a client, just a client." I thought to myself.

Mark left shortly after, but not before asking me to dinner. I explained that I could never date clients, but wished that I had met him elsewhere, giving him a soft smile.

He grinned at me at that, I stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. Then I went back to my office and finished my notes.

Two successes in one week, it was my record.

That evening I went to the mall, wandering around for over an hour. There was nothing eventful, I finally went home. I slept fitfully that night, waking once in the middle of an orgasm caused by a dream of mens penises, my hands on them. They were coming at me from all directions, all of them huge.

The next day was Saturday, I was poaching an egg when the phone rang. It was Doctor Tomlinson.

"I would like to see you, I read another case study I want to talk to you about."

"OK, when?"

"Sometime today, perhaps?"

"I suppose you will charge me overtime, right?" I teased.

"No. My, you sound chipper today."

"I was going to go to the gym today, it always makes me feel good."

"I can just imagine!" He laughed. He normally was rather reserved, it was interesting to hear him like that.

"One O'clock?"

"OK." I hung up. I was feeling really naughty, so after breakfast I dug in my closet, found my cut off Levi skirt and a T-shirt that came to just above my belly button.

Dr. Tomlinson was sitting in his chair, he looked me up and down when I walked in, but other than that he didn't react. I sat down on the couch and crossed my legs.

"Meridith, I came across a case study with reactions that I find similar to yours." He began.

"Oh, really?" I leaned back on the couch.

"Yes, it is a woman about your age, in her case she suffered abuse by an uncle."

"I don't have an uncle."

"I know, but you had a husband." He looked at me pointedly.

I hadn't really thought about my former husband for quite a long time, just the mention of him caused fear in me.

"That upset you, didn't it?" Doctor Tomlinson was as good at reading reactions as I was it seemed.

"Yes, a little."

"Is it anger, or fear?"

"Both."

"Meridith, I believe that you tease men, exhibit yourself because you are angry at what happened to you. It is a way of getting revenge. By teasing men but then not allowing them to have you, you feel like you are hitting back."

I thought about that.

"But I was this way..before?"

"No, not really. Your husband was controlling you, he was making you do all of that, then when you resisted fulfilling his own fantasies, he tried to force you."

"Even if that is true, what do I do about it?"

"We can try medication, perhaps help with the depression, and keep talking until we get you to realize why you react the way you do to...sex."

"Maybe. I am not sure about drugs."

"Just think about it, what did you plan for today?"

"I was just..." I looked at him, then smiled.

"OK. I was thinking..I planned to tease you today."

"Why?"

"I am in the mood."

"But I am your Doctor."

"You still want to see my pussy, don't you?" I gave him a knowing grin.

"Yes." That surprised me, I expected him to say no, deny it.

I started laughing, men! Such visual creatures.

"Meridith, you are a beautiful woman. I am a normal male. But I am also your Doctor, what I want for you is to see you normal, see you enjoy life and sex and have the ability to trust again."

I suddenly felt irritated, I leaned forward. He had tripped something inside of me and I was just not sure what. I wanted men to react, to lust after me, I wanted to completely control them. Somehow that was getting away from me, out of my control.

"I came here today with the intention of teasing you."

"I know."

"You want to fuck me, don't you?" I opened my legs slightly, his eyes darted down and right back up.

"Yes, I do."

"Well, go ahead then." I leaned back, opened my legs even more. I knew he could see me now.

"No."

"Why not? It's all yours if you want to. That's what I do, I fuck men!"

"I think you should try the prescription, Meridith."

I sat back, closed my legs. Then I burst out crying. Doctor Tomlinson just sat there calmly and waited. Finally I managed to get myself under control.

"All right, I will try."

Within two weeks of starting on the medication I noticed that I felt better, the urge to go out and expose myself just seemed to fade. I went to work, during that entire period all I had were the chat sessions. But I knew what was coming, and suddenly, somehow, I just didn't want to.

"Come in!" Dr. Hajjari called out when I knocked on the door.

"Have a seat, Meridith." He told me. I sat down.

"I know why you are here."

"Yes. I need to give my notice."

"I thought so. I was wondering, though. How would you like to be my secretary, receptionist? It is less pay, but..."

"I don't type very fast." I told him.

"Neither do I." He grinned.

"I have a client scheduled for this afternoon." I looked at him.

"Jeanie can deal with it."

"Thank you." I told him, standing up.

"No, thank you! You will be an asset to us."

Secretary. Me? Why not, I knew the work, I knew what to do. I knew I would learn to type fast, too.

Medicine, a simple series of pills. I had depression, I was into self abuse. The days seemed brighter, I felt better. Seven very long bad years became a memory, then something that had happened to someone else.

Sometimes healing is easy. It's not always that way.

Two months later I had settled in. Gone was the constant need for flashing, gone was my fear that I always kept deep inside me. I had come to understand, somehow knowing the why of it out in the open instead of shoving the why of it deep inside was the answer.

I thought back to my husband, the man I had loved so deeply. I felt no fear of him at all.

I still went in to see Doctor Tomlinson once each week. He cut my medications in half, at first I worried but it seemed to be just fine. By the time he had cut them to just 25%, I knew for sure.

Then came the day it was cut to nothing.

I was in the grocery store, getting a few things when I came around the corner and banged right into another cart.

"Oh, I am sorry!" I said, looking up.

It was Mark. I felt myself blush.

"Hello, Meridith." He said.

"How are you? How are you doing?" I asked. I felt a little flutter inside. He had been, well, surprising.

"I am fine." He answered. How could we just stand there, talk like this? He had been inside me.

"Have you met anyone?" I asked him.

"No, I am just looking for the right person, I have dated some but so far I haven't settled on anyone."

"Well, that's good. You will find someone." I started to push by him, then I stopped.

"I am no longer a therapist." I told him.

"Really? What are you doing now?"

"I am a secretary." I gave him a nice smile.

"Oh, that's nice." He had a mildly confused look on his face.

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Aren't you going to ask me for my phone number?"

"I was, but I thought...Really? Sure! I would love to, this is wonderful!" He acted excited.

I gave him my number, grinning. My phone was ringing when I walked in my door, a glance at the caller ID showed he had called six times.

We talked for over two hours, he asked me out to dinner and it was wonderful. He held my hand for awhile when he brought me back home. I stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. He did not ask to come in, he did not ask to sleep with me.

I was grateful for that, I wanted to start over.

"I have never forgotten that kiss from the last time." Mark smiled at me.

Fast forward three years. Mark and I are married. He lets me be me, I am just a nice normal housewife.

I am also four months pregnant. I was very glad I had quit taking the medication completely once we knew about that. I had been mildly fearful,worried, but nothing happened.

I am just Meridith. Mark knows all about me, and he is unconcerned. He know I belong to him completely, and he belongs to me completely. He doesn't want me to show off to anyone, but he also does not mind one bit if I wear a skimpy bikini or short skirt. I still do not own any underwear, that is just me and the way I am.

Sometimes I let someone have a little peek just for fun.

Mark accepts me completely, exactly the way I am.

Nudity does not bother me one bit, but I no longer have that insane need to have someone see me. Once we were at a pool party and one of the guests kept staring, he even tried to move into position to get a better peek. Finally I just tugged my bikini top up, grinning as his face flushed. He left me alone after that.