Balboa Park

I quickly found out that there were some great watering holes around. I read in the paper one day that San Francisco had the highest rate of fatalities from cirrhosis of the liver of any city in the country. There were some lovely old bars that were just damn fun to drink in. I'd rented garage space from a guy across the street from my flat and took the bus to work. I caught it on Lake Street, about fifty yards from my apartment and it let me off in front of the bank. I could go out drinking and not have to drive home. It turned out that not paying parking more than paid for anything I had to drink.

I found a great restaurant that we would go to after a couple of drinks some nights, call the Tadich Grill. It was the oldest restaurant in California, founded in 1849. They were on Clay Street in the basement of an old building. It was a place of many firsts for me: I'd never had liver and onions before and they were always terrific. It was also the first place I'd had artichoke, beef tongue and fresh oysters. My favorite though was the grilled Petrale Sole, which was actually not sole at all, but flounder.

It was a wonderful place. Croatian immigrants had always run it and the waiters tended to stay there until they retired. They were kind of crazy but it was a fun place. I was sad the next year when Wells Fargo bought the entire block to build a computer center and the restaurant had to move over to California Street. The food was still great but a lot of the atmosphere had been lost.

Another place I liked a lot was Paoli's Old Library on Montgomery and California. Besides being a great Italian restaurant it was the best place in town to pick up little banker chicks on Friday nights. There were tons of banks in the area with all the tellers, secretaries and all the other jobs that drew single girls to San Francisco from the hinterlands by droves.

These girls weren't making much money so once a week on Friday was all they could afford to do. It was kind of fun because half the girls were just out for fun and the other half were desperately looking for a husband. The thing was they were pretty much all smart, clean and well dressed. I shied away as much as I could from the ones that could hear the wedding bells ringing - after June I was in no hurry.

But fun was fun and I couldn't say I was ever lonely very long. I made friends with a couple of girls that I would take around to the jazz clubs or out to a nice dinner. The casual sex was great but after a time I became a little jaded, and became a bit more discriminatory.

I really fell in love with San Francisco. It was mostly a friendly place though it did have some hard edges. Besides the City I drove around the area a lot. I was particularly happy when I discovered the wine country. A decent cab could be found for less than two bucks. I particularly liked to visit Buena Vista in Sonoma. It was a great place to take people from out of town - you could just wander around and they had a great picnic place.

One of the other programmers was a German guy named Guenther. He lived and breathed what we called soccer and everyone else in the world called football. He subscribed to several German soccer magazines and could tell you about any team in any division in Germany. He's the one that got me started going to the Sunday soccer matches at Balboa Park. He played for a top-level club named Concordia. I'd go watch him play then go drink German beer with some of his teammates. I got so I liked just going and watching matches with any of the teams.

He also started teaching me the game and I picked it up fairly fast. I would never have the ball skills that he did but I was fast and could run all day. He got me on with a team that played third division out at the beach chalet in Golden Gate Park almost to the ocean. It could be rough and dirty but I found I had a hell of a competitive instinct. I learned a lot about the flow of the game by watching at Balboa Park and playing gave me a better appreciation for watching. I mostly played halfback on either side. I didn't really aspire to play with a higher division team.

I did find several small jazz groups that I could do a gig with once in a while. I was gradually getting to know the jazz scene, not just in San Francisco but also in some of the surrounding cities.

I did meet up with John Handy and got to know him fairly well. He taught at a number of bay area schools like Berkeley, Stanford and San Francisco State. He talked me into tutoring some promising students at San Francisco State and forming small groups to give them an experience playing with others.

He was a great person and probably had more impact on the San Francisco music scene than any other single individual. At the time he was doing some arrangements of using violins against his saxophone. As he put it, "I find the violin to be a very sensitive and expressive instrument capable of musical expressions that other instruments are not. I've discovered that there's a certain way to write for them to give them a saxophone sound."

I didn't see any way I would ever move back to Oklahoma … I'd found a new home.

*

FALLING IN LOVE

"Do you like jazz music?"

"I don't know, Jimmy. What is it?

Okay, she doesn't know anything about jazz … this is going to be fun.

I drove away from Jaci's home feeling somewhat bemused. It really could be fun to teach her about jazz. Somewhere around where my heart was I could feel a warm fuzzy feeling … could it be love? I knew Jacinda liked me but how did she really feel?

I felt impatient - I'd never felt this way about a woman before - but I knew that I had to take it slow. Not only with Jaci but also with her family. They seemed very conservative and if I rushed it I'd never have a chance to try to make things work out.

I let it alone that week. If waiting a week was the right thing to do then I'd be golden. If she was expecting, even waiting, for me to call … well, a bit of curiosity never hurt a girl. I thought the best thing was to show up at the next Greek-American game at Balboa Park - which was the next Sunday at two.

It turned out to be a sparkling, radiant day, warmer than normal for November and not a cloud in the sky. When I walked through the portal into the stands I saw the Nikopolidis family sitting together. I walked up to say hello but before I could say anything, Jaci beat me.

"Jimmy, you're here!"

Well, yeah.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me down to sit beside her. She introduced me to her mom and dad again, "… remember this is the young man that kept me from being hurt."

I stood and shook hands again with her dad but he was still wearing the stern face. Her mom smiled but didn't say anything. I sat back down.

"Jimmy, why didn't you call me this week? I waited and waited."

She looked somewhat petulant, but I just smiled and answered, "I was really busy but if you want, I'll call you this week."

We chatted about the game and what she had been doing. She had mentioned to me she had a portable record player in her room so I told her, "I've an album I'd like to play for you. I want to show you some of why I love jazz. Can I come over a bit after the game today?"

"I'd like that. Let me ask my dad."

She spat a torrent of Greek at her dad and his response was apparently positive - although it didn't sound that way. Before she could respond to me her mom added something. I'm not sure if what she told me was a proper distillation of what her parents had said.

"They said it's okay, but only if you can stay for dinner."

I supposed the dinner wasn't really a requirement but an invitation. I smiled at her, "Sure, I look forward to it."

After the game I took off with Jaci in my MG with the family trailing along later. They were talking to some of the players and it would take a while for Teddy, since he was walking slowly with his cane.

They didn't live too far away from the stadium and we were there in a few minutes. We went in bringing the album from my car. I gave her my hand to help her out of the car and she held on to it tightly. She let go to open the door then grabbing my hand again she almost skipped up the stairs. As we went into her room she seemed a bit nervous.

"Everyone will be here in a minute and I wanted to thank you for helping me last week. Teddy said I could have been really hurt."

With that she threw her arms around my neck and started kissing me. I was standing there with the album in my hand and somehow had the presence of mind to toss it on the bed. I was startled at first but when she put the tip of her tongue between my lips I put my arms around her, lifted her up and held her tightly. I could feel her small, pert breasts pushing into my chest and slowly my hands - on their own volition - slowly lowered to her soft, round buttocks, holding her against me. I immediately got an erection and she had to feel it pressing hungrily against her.

She finally let her arms loose and pulled her head back, staring intently at me. I reluctantly lowered her to the floor and let go of her. She stepped back, panting a little. She looked down at my obvious show of lust and turned away, flushing a bright red. She walked over to her dresser and opened her record player, looking quickly back at me.

"Anyway I just wanted to say thanks. Hand me your record."

I smiled to reassure her and handed her the album. I wanted her to hear some jazz music before I tried to explain anything about it to her.

"This is an album from Django Reinhardt. This one dates from 1955. Just listen to it and then you can tell me what you think."

She put the record on and sat on the bed. I was sitting on a chair by the door, which she had left open. When she heard the front door open she walked over to the top of the stairs - her room was right in front of the staircase - and hollered down, "We're up here listening to music."

They waved hi and her sister, Elissa, skipped up the stairs. She sat down next to Jaci and listened for a minute, then looked at me and back to Jaci. She reached over to Jaci's nightstand and grabbed a couple of Kleenex. Walking over to me she held it at the edge of my mouth and wiped it. Looking back at Jaci, she said, "You'd better fix your lipstick before you come downstairs. She turned at the door and walked back to put the tissue in the trash and as she walked by, she said with a smirk, "Hey, Jimmy, nice music."

Jaci looked mortified and ran to the bathroom to repair the damage we'd done.

When she came back she smiled shyly, took my hand and led me downstairs. As we walked down I asked her how she had liked the music.

"It's wonderful. It is so alive. Much of Greek music uses stringed instruments of one kind or another, so I can relate to this."

She led me to the living room where the men were talking in Greek and arguing about something - which turned out to be soccer, of course.

"I'm going back to the kitchen to help mom with dinner. Would you like a beer?"

At my nod she took off. I sat down in an open chair and there ensued a discussion of soccer and politics in Greece in a conglomeration of Greek and English. I certainly knew no Greek and several of the men who stopped by had recently emigrated from Greece and knew only the barest English.

I was impressed by the passion of the various discussion threads. I was to find out this was typical … the Greeks were a passionate people in many ways. I was able to participate a little in the talks on soccer but mostly I sat back and watched people. A couple times Jaci brought me a beer and stood behind my chair with her hand on my shoulder … it was a nice feeling, like I belonged to her.

Dinner was typically Greek: moussaka, which was ground lamb with layers of eggplant; dolmades, stuffed grape leaves; and a Greek salad. The food was accompanied by Greek wine or beer and lively conversation. Jaci was sitting next to me and made sure I was included in the talk. She would translate frequently, particularly when someone was talking about me or asking me a question. She touched me all the time. A hand on my forearm, hitting me on the leg when I said something funny, and once in a while taking my hand and looking at me with that shy smile of hers.

Several of the men were jazz aficionados so we talked some about that. They insisted that I get my trumpet from the car and while the women cleaned up after dinner I played a wide variety of stuff. Jaci kept drifting in and finally just stayed by my side. I finally was able to stop by insisting I needed a beer.

When I left it was with an invitation to her twenty-first birthday party the next Sunday. It was the Sunday after Thanksgiving and there were no soccer matches scheduled. As we walked to the door her mom came up and said something to Jaci. She looked pleased by what her mom said and when we walked down the street to my car I asked her what her mom had told her.

"She said for me to invite you for Thanksgiving dinner. It's not a Greek holiday but we've been celebrating it. We don't do turkey, though," she finished with a laugh. With a quick kiss on my cheek she was off and I drove home to my lonely apartment.

I sat in bed with one of my favorite albums playing, an old one by Billie Holiday, and sipped on a glass of brandy. Of course, I was thinking about Jaci. I knew this was a girl I couldn't trifle with … not that I had that in mind. This looked as if it could get serious very quickly while at the same time I needed to move slowly with her. She reminded me of a skittish colt but her kiss was that of a woman. I knew that somehow I was in love with her and I was pretty sure she loved me too. There certainly was a strong chemistry tying us together.

Jaci had given me a couple of books on Greek - it seemed obvious that it would behoove me to at least make a stab on some basic words. I called her a couple of times in the days before Thanksgiving asking her about the pronunciation of some key words. She seemed pleased, both that I had called her and about the language questions.

Thanksgiving was fun and the next day I took her for a drive to the top of Mt. Tamalpais in Marin County. We stopped at Muir Woods on the way. She had never been there and found the huge old trees fascinating. The drive up to the summit of Mt. Tam was curvy but the MG/B was perfect for the road. The view from the top was incredible. We could see the bay area lying out before us and for the first time I realized how large it was.

We were alone at the viewpoint and I was standing behind her, with my hands on her shoulder. I dropped them lower and held her tight and kissed her ear. She stood still for a minute, then turned to me, her lips eager. We kissed for a moment of eternity, then getting chilled we sat in my car. We started kissing again and my hand strayed up to her breast. She put her hand over mine and pulled me tight to her. I caressed her nipple for a moment, feeling it get hard. She was breathing heavy but I didn't want to go too fast.

The signals I was getting from her was to go farther but I backed off and held her back with my hands. We stared at each other for a longish time then I put my arms around her, holding her tight. I whispered in her ear, "Jaci, I can't help it but I'm falling in love with you." I held her tight and when I felt her shoulders shaking I held her back and looked at her. She wiped her eyes and tried to smile, then leaned in and kissed me quickly but firmly.

"We'd better go, Jimmy. I'm taking my mom shopping later today." She didn't say how she felt about me but I was sure she loved me too.

The party was fun. It was at the restaurant and was crowded with tons of food. The same band was there and this time I was able to dance with Jaci all I wanted - though we both danced with others. It was clear that she was very popular and loved by all. She really was a very special girl.

I didn't want to get her anything too personal so I got her a couple jazz albums. One by Dizzy Gillespie - I wanted her to hear some good trumpet work - and one by Duke Ellington for the big band sound with some old favorites on it. She seemed to appreciate it and in later discussions I felt she was really learning to like jazz.

After the New Year we got into regular dating. I was over at her place a lot, especially on Sundays. I seemed to be accepted by her family although her sister teased us a lot. For Valentines Day I took her to dinner at Tadich Grill and then to a jazz club I played at occasionally. At the club I was asked to sit in for a couple of numbers and Jaci said it was okay.

I had a lot of fun with it and the crowd was appreciative. Jaci was quite impressed, "You're really good, Jimmy. You should do this full time."

"I think about it a lot but it's a chancy business. I'd like to do more than just play. I'd like to compose and maybe do some teaching … maybe be a mentor for some up-and-coming kids."

From there I had to go by and pick up another album she wanted to borrow and she asked if she could come up. She had never seen my apartment. I showed her around and somehow we wound up in the dining room, which I used as a den. We were sitting on the sofa talking then somehow she was in my arms.

It got hot quickly. I had her bra undone and was rubbing her breasts and for the first time she had her hand on my erection. I pulled her sweater up and kissed and sucked on her breasts. I unbuttoned her skirt and my hand was rubbing on her when she started shuddering - I knew she was having an orgasm.

I knew she wouldn't stop if I continued and somehow I was able to cut it off. I held her close and she whispered, "I love you, Jimmy." She had never actually said that before but I knew she did.

I took her on home and driving back I knew I wanted to spend my life with her. I started thinking seriously about asking her to marry me. She was the one for me.

*

LOVE … AND PAIN

I was walking around downtown one Saturday afternoon in my neighborhood on Clement. I saw an engagement ring in the window of a small jewelry store and I immediately knew it was the right one. I went in to take a closer look at it and the more I saw it the more I liked it. I wasn't sure when I wanted to ask her but I went ahead and purchased the ring. It was a couple of weeks later, on a Sunday in early June that the time seemed right.

Her family, except for her sister, were all going to Fresno for an Open Cup playoff match. The winner would go to Arizona for the regional championships. Because of the long drive they were going to stay overnight in Fresno. Jaci didn't want to go because we had a date planned. Elissa was going on an outing with a friend of hers and was going to stay overnight since school was out.

Jaci called me and asked me over to listen to some music and then later we could go out for our date. I got over there around one in the afternoon. She made some lunch for me and we went up to her room to listen to music. No one was home so we left the door open.

We were both sitting on her bed, listening to a Louis Prima album. An accidental touch, a spark, then we were in each other's arms. In no time I had her blouse and bra off and was kissing her and rubbing her breasts with my hands. Our hormones were working overtime and our pent up passion was just too much. It seemed so natural for us to express the ultimate love for one another. We were like a freight train on its way to a crash: we were just going too fast and there was no way to stop.

It was passionate; it was beautiful. If there were any doubts at all of our love for one another, our first coupling removed them. We made love; we talked of our love. I showed her the ring and asked her to marry me.

"Yes, Jimmy, yes, of course. But Jimmy, you have to ask my father."