Bang, Bang, Out Went the Lights


She got that glint in her eye that meant trouble.

"Say, do you have any pictures of your dad's dogs?"

I had a magazine that showed me with two of them. Both the Grand Champions in their class, naming me as handler and my dad as owner/trainer, and the dates. Dad had sent it to me that day. Most of my friends wouldn't recognize me. I had on Carhartts, a cap sporting his kennel logo, and a two day growth of beard. I told her about it. It was still in my car.

"Keys" she said, holding out her hand.

"Sarah, you're not gonna do anything embarrassing, are you?"

"Not to you, but I'm gonna make sure Jenny sees it, just so she knows."

I tried to talk her out of it, but let her do it at the end, just so I could hear what Jenny said.

She took her time waiting for just the right moment. Jenny, Sarah, and a few more of the wives and girlfriends were clustered, talking about the wedding, their own weddings, their husbands, boyfriends, etc. Girl talk.

At just the right moment, Sarah dropped the bomb.

"Jenny, are you still seeing Sammy?"

She said her face went tight for a second.

"No, that's over. I thought things were going well, when he went out of town to see another woman. My ex can attest that I'm not much on sharing."

"Wow, I didn't know you guys were serious. But you're right, I remember that weekend. It wasn't one female, it was two, and he was out all night with them twice. I even have pictures."

She whipped out the magazine. She had the page memorized, and showed the girls. Afterwards, she said she wished she'd had a camera, not just for Jenny, but the whole group. Most had never seen me out a suit or casual dress, I rarely wore jeans unless I was at home.

The magazine went around the room, and then the jokes began.

One of the bridesmaids asked if it was true I really knew how to handle bitches.

"Sure, keep them on a tight leash and whip the shit out of them occasionally, and they generally do what you tell them. Need lessons?"

She ran away, screaming in laughter.

Thew guys were even raunchier. Everyone had something to say but Jenny. She wouldn't even look me in the eye.

As luck, or scheming women would have it, I was matched to Jenny at the wedding. I kept the conversation light and pleasant during the reception. I looked around the room. Except for maybe Sarah, Jenny was the prettiest woman in the room. Tall at five nine, she was slender where she needed to be, and curvy everywhere else. Her long red hair had blond highlights that I knew were natural, Pouty lips, almost perfect. A fine looking woman. Sarah, in contrast, was a classic blond with breasts that would have been average on anyone else, but looked huge on her tiny frame. Liquid blue eyes and a really nice butt. I had a stray thought of all of us rolling around in my bed, and grinned.

We were in the middle of a nice, slow dance, when she pulled back enough to look me in the eye.

"Say it."

"Sat what, Jen?"

"That I'm a psychotic bitch with poor communication skills and very little brains."

I stopped in the middle of the floor.

"Now why would I say a hurtful thing like that to you? To be honest, I'm afraid to say anything to you. I don't know how you'd react. Now, I kind of like feeling you snuggled up to me, can we finish the dance without talking?"

She scooted up to me so hard I thought she was trying to pass through me.

"Yes, but we're gonna talk, tomorrow. I'll call."


She didn't call, she showed up at my house the next afternoon.

"Got any wine?" she asked, as she breezed by me when I opened the door. I watched as she settled into my couch. She looked around. "Why does a bachelor need with a three bedroom house, anyway?"

I got a bottle of my favorite out and looked through my silverware for the corkscrew.

"I don't plan on being a bachelor forever. I figure I'll need those bedrooms, somewhere down the line."

She smiled as she accepted the glass.

"I forgot, you're like the Communists, always got a five year plan."

I shrugged.

"Probably the best idea they ever had."

I didn't say anymore. This was her show.

"Hear me out, please. I had a hard time getting over the divorce. I even had to take pills, one to calm me down, and one to get me going. If I mixed them, my emotions were everywhere."

"I really like you, Sam, I always have. It was great to date you when I first came back. I had always harbored feelings for you. In my mind, you were perfect for me. I had already made up my mind I was going to screw your brains out that weekend. When you said you had to go out of town, and females were involved, I lost it. It was like my ex all over again. I should have let you finish when I called you. I should have called you back and apologized. But I didn't."

"I'm truly sorry, more than you know. I still want to be your friend, and just so you know, I'm off the pills, come to find out[surprise, surprise]they weren't considered a good mix. End of groveling, waiting for forgiveness."

I looked at her.

"wow, spaced out on pills! I always thought you were the most level headed person I knew. Never can tell, I guess. Give me a hug, you stoner."

She didn't know whether to be insulted or take it as a joke, but in the end she smiled and hugged me. Then, we were off as always, arguing the merits and drawbacks of living in a society that had a pill for every condition known to man, and a few for anything else they could come up with. It felt good.

She didn't ask about getting together again, and I didn't mention it. Two weeks went by when she called me.

"Pill head here. Freeman Feelbad Jr. and Sweet Thang are at the blues club this weekend. Wanna go?"

I loved the blues, and had read great things about the duo, so of course I went.

After that we fell into a pattern. I would call her or she would call me, and we spent most of our weekends together. On the weekend I was gone, she went out and did girl stuff, I guess.

I had lunch with Sarah and she was gushing.

"You can thank me now."

"Thank you for what?"

"Getting you and Jen back together. I got a question, though. When are you gonna break down and bang her? We had a girls night out last weekend, went and saw male strippers. She's about to explode, waiting on you. She told me she had killed two sets of batteries since you started dating again."


Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Bang her, you idiot. Shes so ready if you rubbed her legs I'm sure they would fly open. She wants YOU, dumbass. Get with the program unless you don't want her. If that's the case, let her down easy. What do you coon hunters say? Oh yeah, 'the bullshit stops when the tailgate drops'. Let your dogs loose, boy!"

I reflected after the lunch. We hadn't been intimate since we started seeing each other again.

The next Friday night, we went to a light meal and a movie. I brought her home instead of dropping her off at her mom's house. She had been looking for an apartment but kept telling me she liked houses better, she just couldn't afford one right now.

"What are we doing here?"

I answered her truthfully.

"I'm not sure. Good things, I hope."

Then I leaned over and kissed her, hard. We didn't get out of the car for thirty minutes. If my neighbors had looked across the street and into my garage they would have been treated to Jen sliding out of the car, wearing a black skirt and nothing else. If they would have had their windows open they would have heard her telling me to forget the damn clothes and unlock the door. If they had looked closely they would have seen me struggling to get my pants off, and lose my balance as I fell out of the car.

Maybe they would have heard her scream as I yanked her skirt off, showing off her bare bottom, the panties discovered later hanging off my rear view mirror.

I had her on the couch, with my tongue in her slit before she knew what was going on. She liked the smooth look, and she apologized the next day for being so rough, if she had known we were going to be intimate she would have shaved that day. It was a bit rough on my cheeks, but at the time I wanted her so bad I'd have stuck my tongue through barbed wire to get to that little honeypot. I worked her over with fingers and tongue until she had two orgasms, the first screaming, the second whimpering.

I finally let her pull me up. She jammed her lips on to mine for a few seconds, reaching down to grab the titanium bar my dick had turned into, guiding it into her.

"Don't be gentle!" she hissed, "We'll make love later. Right now I need you to fuck the shit out of me!"

I slammed into her so hard her stubble felt like little needles on my skin. I knocked her off the couch and she ended up on top of me, pounding up and down as hard as she could. I grabbed a nipple and twisted, and she came on the spot. We rolled over again and ended up with her torso supported by the couch while I thrust into her from behind.

I'd like to say it went on for hours, but it was only ten minutes at the most. I collapsed on top her as she had her last orgasm. I had come so hard it felt like the first two inches of my dick had blown off. We lay there gasping for a few minutes before I pulled her up and dragged her to the bedroom.

We snuggled under the sheets vowing to do great things to each other, but ended up dozing off. She woke me two hours later, stroking my hard dick until she deemed me ready, then lay back and pulled me to her.

"Gentle this time. Love me."

So I did. For the first twenty minutes, until lust took over and we were at it again, and we actually made the bed move with our efforts.

We lay entwined while our breathing returned to normal, dozing off again.

I woke the next morning, alone. She came in with a cup of coffee, wearing one of my shirts.

"Get up, sleepyhead! I made coffee. I'm going to shower now, then we'll talk."

She tossed off the shirt, and I got to take a good look at her. I could see bruises on her hips and thighs, and a dark bite on her left breast.

I stumbled to the kitchen, smiling.

She came in a few minutes later, in my old robe, with a towel over her head. She was moving slowly.

"Are you all right?"

She smiled.

"I always thought it was so much bullshit when my girlfriends said they had fucked until they walked funny. Now I know the truth. And don't you dare apologize for it. That was the best night I've ever had, period."

"I feel the same way. And truth be told, I'm a little sore myself. And it was the best time I've ever had, sexually speaking."

She actually blushed with pleasure.

"Thank you. Let's see if we can top that, but not right now. I need nourishment, what's for breakfast?"

We had a companionable breakfast that we fixed together. I went outside and gathered our discarded clothes, while Jen stood in the door and giggled. She took my car, went home and got more clothes. We went to a movie, then lay around, not doing much.

After a little fooling around on the couch, we made a collective decision that we weren't really that sore. No pain, no gain, it gets better with practice, etc.

She surprised me by giving me a really, really nice blow job early in the afternoon. I don't know what they taught women on the west coast, but it made me want to send a thank you note. She came up, wiping her mouth.

"There, I meant to do that last night but got swept away. Now you'll last longer tonight."


She moved in almost immediately. Nine months later we married. Jen found a job she liked but didn't pay very well. I had a good job, and had just moved up one place on the food chain when we got together. I already had my house, my dad had given me the money for a down payment from the insurance money. We weren't rich, but we were comfortable, especially for a young couple starting out.

Jenny took control of our house, redecorating. We had a large back yard, and together we turned it into a nice entertainment area. We lay the pavers, placed the table and benches, strung the lights, built a pergola. We painstakingly put together a weatherproof outdoor kitchen, grill with side burners, cabinets, mini fridge, and a sink. Our centerpiece was a clay oven, built by a friend of mine with local clays. Our pizza parties were a big hit.

I was happy. She was happy. Life was good.

For two years.


I took Jenny with me once to a coon hunt. She hated it. I told her why I did it, and she said she understood, but in the last year or so she started resenting it.

The last time I went she stood in the door to the garage, trying to make me stay. The discussion got a little heated when she opened her robe, flashing me.

"You're really going to give this up to stay up all night with some stinky dogs? Maybe I need to look for someone else to keep it warm, someone who appreciates what I have to offer."

Before I knew it I had her by the sleeves of the robe and pinned up against the wall.

"Tell you what, why don't you that very thing? You should call Sarah, I'm sure she knows the best places to hook up. I'll leave the truck and take the car, that way she can help you move. Remember, this was my place first. Have a nice fucking life, Jenny."

She knew, absolutely knew, that I hated a cheater more than anything else in the world. It had been almost three years since Scotty and his wife broke up, and it wasn't even over Sarah, and I could still barely tolerate him. Knowing that, she still threw it in my face. Tactical error.

I snatched my bag out of the truck, tossed it in the car, and was gone before she could form a response.

The phone started ringing before I had gone a block. I ignored it. I ignored it all the way to the hunt.

Dad knew I was pissed when he saw me, but wisely didn't say a thing. I petted and fooled with the three dogs I was hunting, attaching the GPS monitors to the collars. Twenty first century redneck gear. It made it a lot easier to find them and your way back.

I ran all three of them the first night. The male got hung up on a barbed wire fence and had to withdraw, but I placed top of class with the other two. The young female was the best I ever ran. I told dad so. He agreed.

"I think she's gonna be a champion, for a long time to come. I think she's the best I've ever bred."

I was tired, dirty, and not in the best of moods when I came home. Sarah was still pissed but was smart enough to not push it. I showered, and crashed on the bed for a much needed nap. She let me sleep five hours before getting me up.

"Dinner is ready. You need to get up, or you won't sleep tonight and will feel like shit at work tomorrow."

Dinner was kind of quiet. We cleaned up together and went into the living room. I looked for the remote and couldn't find it.

I looked up to see her holding it.

"No television until we talk. I apologize for what I said before you left. You have to know I have no interest in anyone but you. With my new job we don't have as much time together as we used to, can you blame me for wanting to spend all the time we do have together?"

"Not at all. I miss our time too. That being said, you knew I had this family obligation when we got married. It should end this year, dad is thinking about making Jerry a full partner, that'll take the responsibility off me and Jimmy. I will still go once in a while because I've learned to enjoy it. Is this really an issue? What got you into that mindset?"

She held her hands up in a surrender gesture.

"I hate my job, for one thing. I didn't get my degree to manage a specialty shop in the mall. When you average out my hours, I'm just barely over minimum wage. I hate having to work two nights a week, and every other weekend. I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels, going nowhere fast."

I felt bad for her, but she was like the rest of the country, doing the best she could in a bad economy.

"If it stresses you that bad, quit. We can make it until you find something else. Maybe you can transition into a new field. Motherhood. We're almost thirty, the clock is ticking."

It was an old discussion. We both wanted children, we just wanted to be a little more financially stable.

Jenny was crying.

"I want our babies, I just want to be able to give them the best."

"So do I hon, but maybe love is the best thing we can give them. We never had much money growing up, but we had plenty of love. It was more than enough."

In the end we apologized to each other, but left the baby issue on hold.

I skipped the next two hunts, Jimmy took one and Jerry another, and stayed home. Jenny seemed to appreciate it. She had started going to a girls night out, with her old friends, including Sarah.

She came to pick her up that first night.

"Damn, my turn to be the driver. Don't worry Sam, I'll have her liquored up and ready to go when she gets home." Jenny blushed while Sarah rambled.

But Sarah delivered. Jenny had a pretty good buzz going and was horny as hell when she got home. I barely made it to work the next day.


Another cliche? The neighborhood stud. You know the guy, he usually had the biggest house on the block, or the prettiest wife that he ignored at parties, the best job, or car, or bigger dick, etc.

Our was James[don't call me Jimmy]Mitchell. He hadn't been in the neighborhood for about a month. Jenny met his wife and invited them over to our once monthly barbeque. This particular night was focused on pizzas.

You could heat the clay oven up to over six hundred degrees, stick a pizza in and have it done in five minutes. The smoke residue made them extra flavorful.

Pizza night meant it was a child inclusive party. We would premake the crusts and have them waiting on a table piled high with ingredients. The kids would have a ball, building their own pizza. I would slide them into the oven three at a time, then take them out on a big wooden paddle. It was messy, loud, and very enjoyable.

James came over and ordered his pizza, being specific as to what he wanted. I just grinned.

"I don't build them, I'm just in charge of cooking them. You're on your own as far as making them."

He frowned. I had a feeling he was used to being catered to. He had a nice wife, average looking and a little plump, and a daughter that looked like a carbon copy of her. Jenny had to explain how it worked to them. The little girl was having a ball, eying the ingredients and making decisions. She was about eleven, and the other kids were giving her all kinds of advice. Her pizza was about four inches tall when she was done. We deliberately made the crusts small for the kids, hard experience teaching us their eyes would overload their tummies every time. Even at that size they would often take home leftovers.

His wife told him she had already made his pizza, so he went back to holding court, impressing his new neighbors with his wealth and business savvy. A few actually believed his line of bull, most tolerated it with a slight smile. Some even argued with him, not worrying about his ego at all.

He tried to charm the ladies, but he didn't make much of an impression on them. I caught him trying to chat up Sarah and Jenny, and Sarah caught me watching and grinned, raising her foot a little, letting me know he was piling it deep.

Sarah almost never came to our parties unless it was pizza night. Despite her lifestyle, she loved kids and was a favorite baby sitter in our group. To the last child, everyone loved Aunt Sarah.

I asked them after the party what they thought of the new neighbor. Sarah rolled his eyes.

"That one is a legend in his own mind, especially around women. He would lead you to believe he invented sex, and was the only man alive good at it."

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