Bang Up Job


I was sitting in the living room, with two fresh cups of coffee ready for when my wife got home. It seemed like an average moment, if one ignored everything else.

Like how my name is Winston Beigel, and my wife was an actress. Like how she was a star of the top rated comedy on television. Not Kaley Cuoco -- the other blond, busty, tiny spitfire beside her.

And no, Melissa Rauch doesn't sound that squeaky in real life. So save the voice jokes and how she must sound in bed. Now that that's cleared up, back to the extraordinary things to ignore. Like how she was coming home after doing a shoot for Maxim magazine today.

I couldn't take a day off to come with her -- though Lord knows I looked for loopholes -- but she assured me she'd bring copies of her sexy photos. Not that I knew how they'd make her look sexy -- though Lord knows I tried to get hints.

Still, I wanted to make her relax after her obviously long day, and not press her for photos -- not right away. That's what the coffee would help me out for. Once I heard a knock on the door, I was set to put it to the test.

I opened the door to see Melissa, who had a purple coat over her tiny but shapely frame. She greeted me with a kiss and a smile when she saw our living room table. Once she put down her purse and I resisted taking a peek, I joined her on the couch.

After we toasted her and took a sip from our cups, I eased into the conversation. "So I see you're still standing. Well, sitting at the moment," I jested, though the obvious joke still made Melissa laugh. "Did they take it easy on you?"

"They weren't so bad," Melissa answered. "But this was my second big magazine shoot, so I can't compare it to anything. Kaley probably has a ton more horror stories than me." I nodded, recalling Melissa's Esquire pictures some months back, and the tight pink dress she showed off.

It was probably still too conservative for Maxim -- especially after that Lacey Chabert spread from last month. And her biggest work was 10 years ago, so imagine what they'd do for someone on today's biggest comedy. I wouldn't have to for long, although I couldn't get totally sidetracked yet.

"But your horror playlist is still bare? They were respectful, at least?" I felt a surge of protectiveness. Wishing for her to look too....provocative in a room full of men was a fine line. Even if Maxim was probably desensitized to it by now -- or maybe especially if it was.

"They were fine, trust me," Melissa assured me. "They had some good ideas. I was really excited to do them." She rolled her eyes at me, which kept me from making any comments at her words. I just nodded with a smirk and let her go on.

"I mean, they made me put more....on display than I'm used to. But that's kind of the point," Melissa said. "They make Kaley do it all the time in shoots and the show, and it works for her. Kind of works for me by extension too." I chose to think she meant it helped the show and her job security -- not any dirtier meaning. That could stay safe in my brain for special occasions.

"But doing it myself this time....feminism aside, it was....pretty exciting," Melissa commented. "After being so buttoned up for four years, it had to be. I mean, they'll put Kaley in virtually nothing on some weeks, yet they save their restraint for me? Bernadette's just as spicy too, you know!"

"I can imagine," I said very truthfully.

"Exactly. But I came in too late, so I'm the good girl," Melissa reflected. "There are much worse things, I know. But after all these years, it's nice to....try something new. Be someone new that people don't expect you to be. Even though it's right there, believe me."

"I know you're not a liar," I agreed, somewhat uncomfortably.

"I know you know. Sorry to vent, it's probably stupid," Melissa went back into good girl mode. "Breaking out of typecasting can do that." She chuckled and added, "And I'm obviously too exhausted to take off my coat, so there's that."

"Okay then, go take care of that. You can feel less hot in here. As ironic and inaccurate as that is," I gestured.

"Thanks," Melissa smiled and kissed my cheek, then got up to head for our closet. "You're a funny guy. I told them that's what really gets me. Guys with a sense of humor are less impatient and pushy than they could be, you know?"

I nodded as Melissa took her coat off. Whether I stopped nodding after that, I didn't care.

I could have been impersonating a bobble head, and it wouldn't have registered. Not when I saw what was beneath Melissa's coat.

All she had on her upper body was a black bra, exposing perhaps 40 percent of her mouthwatering double D's. As much as I'd seen them naked, and in other revealing outfits during special nights, this was still something else.

If that wasn't enough, she had on what looked to be a pretty tight black....pants/skirt thing. There was still tantalizing bare skin beneath her bra, but beyond that, the pants covered her down to about maybe 4-5 inches above her knees. They showed off the curvy shape of her hips -- and probably the curvy shape behind them too -- while leaving her short but slender legs bare enough to captivate the eye too.

For someone so petite, there were so many....ample delights packed into her, and not just up top. To have it teasingly hidden behind such a sweet, nerdy TV and real life persona was even more unfair. I wouldn't be the only one who saw the naughty girl underneath anymore -- but they wouldn't see her quite like this.

If even that wasn't enough, Melissa said, "Oops! Sorry, one more thing," as if she wasn't aware of what she was doing. She just went over and picked up her purse, like she wasn't making me rock hard right now.

Somehow, I doubted I was the first to admire her like this today. But if this was Maxim's doing....what was it doing out of their shoot? How'd she get away with bringing it out here?

"I did promise you a sneak peek," Melissa seemed to say obliviously -- seemed to, anyway. "I'm still a good enough girl to keep my promises." Keep them, maybe....this was above and beyond that. Whatever this was.

Before I could actually bring it up and poke through her little act, Melissa pulled out a bunch of 8x10 photos. Instead of handing them to me, however, she took one and laid it on the floor -- bending her and her chest down right in front of me. When she came back up, she still looked normal and unfazed, though I doubted I could say the same.

Eventually, I remembered what else she just did. I made myself stop looking at her, then looked at her on the photo. She had on the same outfit she was in now, only she was sitting on her side and leaning on her right hand with a snake on her body. A snake that looked too convincing to be Photoshopped.

This was at least a non perverted thing to ask about. Yet when I looked back up, Melissa was already going upstairs -- and leaving a trail of photos behind her. The direction they -- and her -- were going in likely led to our bedroom door.

I saw no choice but to go upstairs, follow the trail and pick up the pictures. One had her in longer pants, a different black bra and high heels, pulling on a rope. The next had her standing outside in the first black bra and pants, only with a mini skirt, a belt and black gloves added on. The next had her in just one tight black outfit, with even more cleavage popping out.

Once I got upstairs, I looked back at the present Melissa -- who was just entering my bedroom. She turned her back and closed the door before I could savor much of that view. A moment later, she slid another photo through the bottom of the door.

This one had her in a different black outfit, with buttons in the middle that looked easy to rip open. That mental image made me too overwhelmed to move. Instead of barging in, I could only knock on my own door.

Thankfully, I heard Melissa giggle and say, "Come in." But before I did, she added, "Keep looking at the floor."

I sighed, yet settled my stomach and opened the door. Keeping my head down, I walked forward until I found a final photo not far from the bed. She was sitting on a chair, wearing heels, stockings and that outfit with buttons in the middle -- and even more of her breasts exposed. It took everything not to let out a Homer Simpson style groan on that one.

I dared to look up, figuring Melissa would be naked or in another stolen outfit by now. Yet she hadn't changed outfits or taken anything else off -- although she was laying on the bed, on her side while lying her head on her right hand. It wasn't an exact replica of the first pic -- it couldn't be without the snake. But it was still more....affecting up close.

"What is this?" I croaked out as I dropped the pictures. Not the best question, if it was smart to ask any at all.

"Let's just say I feel like....breaking typecasting here too," Melissa softly said.

To back it up, Melissa sat up, reached to pull my face down and kissed me. Technically, the actual kiss was slow and sweet, even as Melissa took my hands and put them on the top of her bra.

While her lips and tongue kept moving leisurely on mine, she encouraged my hands to be more daring. With that in mind, my fingers kept rubbing and trailing her exposed flesh, before tentatively cupping the clothed parts. My hands roamed more freely, as did our mouths, but somehow we hadn't spiraled out of control.

I made myself sit next to Melissa, still holding onto her breasts along the way. Once I palmed them, my thumbs went up top to rub her skin, then took turns plunging between her boobs. After palming and pushing them up, Melissa had enough and pushed me on my back.

I couldn't hold her tits anymore, yet she still kissed me and pushed them against me to make up for it. I could also put my hands on her back, feel the bare skin there and go down lower, so there was that.

When my hands reached her skirt, Melissa broke from my mouth and kissed down my neck. I arched my head back, which gave me a better view of her ass as my hands went towards it. After landing on it, I looked back to see Melissa's alluring green eyes staring up at me, tinged with even more alluring lust as she kissed my throat.

She kissed down to my collar, only to stop and put her hands underneath my shirt. "Might as well warm up here before the main event. Feel free to do the same," she offered, right before pulling my shirt up. I sat up a bit and helped her finish the job.

I laid back down bare chested, with Melissa wasting no time on my exposed flesh. She pressed her chest on my skin, giving me yet another incredible view down there. But her main task was kissing me down to my far less developed breasts.

Nevertheless, she licked and circled my nipples, like I was planning to do with hers later. "Mmmm, not bad," Melissa praised. "Like I said, didn't want to forget this before the main course. Right?" she asked as she grinded on my groin.

This made me put my hands back on her ass, getting the full idea now. If she was playing with what she considered the appetizer, I would do the same.

I felt around for a zipper, but Melissa's work on my neck made me too impatient. So I just put my fingers into her half-pants and started to pull them down. I should have gotten them off her legs completely, but I left them around her ankles once her ass -- and the black thong that somewhat covered it -- was exposed.

It was so peachy and supple, I almost wanted to take a big bite right there -- it wouldn't be my first one. But then Melissa would stop biting my collarbone. Therefore, I just put my hands on her bare cheeks, then grabbed her thong and playfully pulled it up.

"Ooh! Getting in the spirit, huh?" Melissa said into my chest. I agreed by putting my right fingers in her undergarment and feeling around her center -- her pretty wet center.

"This feels like it's been building for a while," I noted, teasingly stroking her lips. "You really did plan this out, huh? And you couldn't contain yourself till you got here, could you?" I asked before putting my forefinger in.

"You....mmm, seem to have all the answers," Melissa got out.

"Only because I have such a good source," I answered. "Well, maybe good's the wrong word, right?" I threw back at her, as I inserted more of my finger and squeezed her ass with my free hand. "Naughty, sexy, bad'd rather I throw those words around, huh?"

"That and other things," Melissa smirked.

"Mmmm....but first things first," I really started getting into it -- as I proved by putting a second finger in her. On that move, Melissa groaned and arched her perfect ass back on both my hands.

She kept doing it as she leaned forward to kiss my mouth. This time, it was less slow and sweet. As she fucked herself on my hand and I did my part, our tongues tangled rapidly while we moaned in each other's mouths. I brought her full bottom lip between mine and worked it over, then she did the same with mine.

We finally had to break apart and breathe, which we did heavily. Melissa soon put her mouth back to use by going down my chest again. I was able to keep my hands on her ass and pussy, as she made a show of kissing and suckling my nipples. Of course, she made a show of pushing her own chest on me as well.

"Oh God, Melissa...." I moaned, my eyes darting around like a drug addict.

"Yes, Winston?" she asked in her sweetest voice. Between that sound, the sights of her bouncing ass, her chest on my stomach, and her pretty eyes, face and lips buried in my chest, it was all fairly addicting.

"Fuck....I'm gonna cum in my pants before you cum on my fingers," I resigned myself. But then again....

Without warning, I got to throwing her around after all. Actually, I just threw her on her back, then dove between her legs and slid her thong and skirt off before she said anything.

My mouth dove onto her pussy like a magnet, licking up the open hole my fingers had been in. Once my tongue needed a rest, my left fingers went in this time and worked faster than my right ever did. Soon, my tongue worked right beside them.

Melissa groaned incoherently, the tide now turned on her. My right hand massaged her thigh and upper right leg for extra pressure, and my left thumb started swiping her pussy as well. Her hips finally thrust up against my face and fingers, but they pressed down right back too.

"Oh my God...." Melissa nearly echoed me. "Oh, you got it, fuck me. Fuck me till I cum so hard...." she added. If I got her far enough earlier, and if she really had been waiting for this all day, it likely wouldn't take too much.

When I rubbed my face on her, then took my fingers out and dove my tongue all the way in, it was just enough. My hands pushed her legs open wider while my thumbs rubbed her, and that was the clincher.

Melissa pushed her hips up and all but roared, putting her hands on the back of my neck as well. As if I would get out of the way voluntarily. Nevertheless, I stayed to lap her up and rest my head as we both began calming down.

Once I heard Melissa breathing normally, I patted her twice more with my tongue before lifting my head. She was still heaving, with her hair slightly disheveled on my pillow. I got myself over and laid next to her, then she could look at me again.

"I think I actually came on your tongue," Melissa corrected from earlier. "That's half your theory wrong right there."

"So it is," I agreed, not caring too much -- it was one of the best ways I've ever been proven wrong, after all. If that was half of my theory wrong, then the other half....

Melissa thought the exact same way. Only she showed it by sliding down and unbuckling my pants without a word. Even when she got my pants and underwear down to see my aching cock, she didn't say a word.

She just put her tiny hands on my shaft and spoke volumes by suckling my head. All while she pumped me and licked me as well.

I exhaled heavily when Melissa popped off me, only to lose my breath again when she kissed my underside. Her pouty lips slid over it and my slit, while her hands kept pumping and rubbing me below.

Without warning, she let go and then took all of me in her mouth. I exhaled in and out quickly, hoping the noise would distract me -- yet Melissa's moans on my shaft were louder and sexier. She slowly slid her mouth up my shaft, licking me thoroughly along the way, then came off and went back to pumping my wet staff with both hands.

With the extra lube, she went faster and harder while her lips engulfed more of my head. Her tongue licked every inch of it, then her mouth came off -- and her chest got closer.

Melissa didn't let go of my cock, so she didn't finally remove that pesky bra. Still, she glided my wet head into her cleavage, rubbing it against the exposed tops of her breasts. That had always been the next best thing to a full on tit-fuck.

If that wasn't enough, Melissa even rubbed me on her bra cups -- another satiny surface to drive me wild. I only hoped I wouldn't cum on them, since they technically didn't belong to either of us.

In any case, Melissa put my head back between her cleavage, rubbing it up and down until she finally took me back in her mouth. Her hands pumped faster and her tongue went lower, then her whole mouth went lower when she took her top hand off. The bottom one still rubbed me below, as there was no part of me untouched in some way.

"I'm not cumming in my pants. I'm cumming in...." I warned. Melissa paid my half-warning no mind, even putting her teeth right under my head as she lightly licked away.

The teasing was almost too much -- and then came the part where she took her hands off and took me all in again. But by the time I started spurting, her mouth got back on my head. She squeezed my erupting shaft again as she swallowed me all down up top.

I felt myself getting less engorged, yet Melissa still held my shaft up. She came off my head and patted it with her tongue as well, then finally let go to let me deflate. At that, I finally laid my head down and caught my breath, while Melissa went back up to lay beside me.

"So there goes the rest of your theory," I heard Melissa say.

"Best and worst one I ever had," I managed, exhaling one more time. With nothing else to say, I sank my head on the pillow for a while.

Just in case that wasn't the end, I pointed out, "You know, I'll be....ill equipped to make any more theories for a while. You probably need a few more minutes yourself."

"Yeah. Seemed worth it till now," Melissa admitted. "Any ideas on passing the time?"

"Well, we've covered just about everything before fucking," I recalled. One look at Melissa, and I remembered the one thing still uncovered.

Technically, I still had my pants and underwear around my ankles, so I kicked them off first. Now the only article of clothing on between us was her bra. Before I mentioned that, Melissa chimed, "Right, one thing still covered. Barely."

After rolling her eyes, she sat up and I followed suit. She turned her chest in my direction and asked, "You comfy with kissing something your cock just touched?"

"Next time I go down on you, I'll let you know," I answered. "But first...."

Taking a hold of her breasts again, I chose not to try and unhook her bra -- wherever it could be unhooked. Since I'd already squeezed her bare flesh and had my cock on it, the next step was putting my face in her cleavage and kissing away.

My mouth rubbed, kissed and licked the exposed top of her left breast, then repeated it on her right. After pushing her chest up again and lightly squeezing, I let go so I could get to her back. As my face rested and licked between her tits, I searched for the hooks in back and finally found them.

After getting lucky, I pulled my head back and gave Melissa room to do the rest. She lowered her straps and grabbed her cups, ready to peel them off. I nodded, hoping I didn't look like a total idiot when she lowered them. No matter how many times I saw them, they always made me look stupid.

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