Battle-Hardened, War Weary Ch. 06

"I DID NOT RAPE YOU!" she screamed at him. "I CAN'T POSSIBLY RAPE YOU! A WOMAN CANNOT RAPE A MAN!"

"I was unconscious and that's all that matters! I did not give you any consent to the act! You should know that, after all, your dad is a cop!" he explained to her.

Physically, Katrina appeared as if she was in control, angry and even indignant about Danny's accusations. Emotionally, however, she was scared and she felt guilty for causing her crush grief. She wanted to apologize to him. But her pride didn't allow her to utter those words. Instead she lashed out at him.

"Bullshit, I couldn't rape you! Your eyes were opened last night!" she shouted at him while pointing her finger at him. "Plus, you were...you were... you..." Katrina stammered in her speech. Her cheeks blushed in bashfulness. "You... You were aroused last night." She felt her cheeks continued to blush after she referred to his lustful state.

Daniel placed his left hand against his lower back. He threw her a look of disbelief. "So-the fuck-what, my dick gets hard when I drink! Consider it to be a fucking side-effect! It does not give you the right to jump on my cock—

Daniel pauses in his speech. His dark brown eyes widened. She thought that he must've realized that she was right: she didn't rape him. She watched the color in his face drain and become pale. His mouth was ajar. He ran his long, thick fingers through his long hair as if the mane annoyed him. He briefly gawked at the floor. Then he gazed at her face. He stared at the bed, which followed by a viewing of his underwear-covered cock.

"Oh my God, I didn't use a..." he sighed with the sense of mortification evident in his voice.

With the ferocity of an angry bull, Danny ran over to the bed. His abrupt and fast reaction caused Katrina to scream out and lose her balance. She ended up falling on her ass. Luckily, she was still on the firm mattress. She scrambled to the other side of the mattress. She observed Danny's actions from her spot. He stood by the side of the bed and he searched through the bedding. He grabbed a hold of the family of pillows and tossed them off of the bed. He glanced down at the mattress, in hopes of finding something.

"Where is it? Where is it? Where is it? Got-damn it, where is it? Come on..." he muttered under his breath while sorting through the bed.

Katrina thought Danny looked frightened. He grabbed an unused portion of the bed sheet that she used as a covering. He pulled on the sheet with a strong force. She felt the sheet slip out of her hands and away from her body. She yelped. She grabbed the sheet and tried to cover herself again.

"Give me—

"Where is it?" shouted Daniel.

"What are you talking about?" she asked him.

"The condom," he shouted at her. "I'm talking about the condom that we used for last night! Where is it, Katrina?"

"I didn't use one—

"What?" he screamed at her. He had taken a few steps away from the bed. He stared at her with disbelief. "Why would you...?" There was silence between them. During this time, Katrina and Daniel just stared at each other. She wondered what he was thinking. He looked as if he was contemplating about something. Then, he finally spoke. "You're trying to get pregnant, aren't you?"

Katrina felt her body grow hot. She was angry. 'What in the hell is wrong with you?' she thought as she glared at him. Before she could fully form a thought, she gave the right side of Danny's face a harsh slap. The sound of the impact echoed in the large room.

"How dare you think that I would do such a thing, like I am a damned groupie or something? I am not in here because I was hoping to get pregnant, you asshole! I actually love you!" she shouted at his face. "By the way, you asshole, you don't have to worry about me getting pregnant because I can't! I have never had my period before!" she informed him.

A wave of embarrassment drowned Katrina, as she explained to Daniel that she was a 'late-bloomer' and hasn't started her menstrual cycle. She felt her face and neck blush. In response, Daniel threw her a facial expression that expressed his confusion. She had gone on to give him an explanation.

"I've never had my period! I am a late-bloomer! I am still going through puberty!" she explained, while still feeling embarrassed.

Daniel perused her physique with a snarl on his lips. "It explains your body," he stated.

Katrina let out a whimper. Her dark brown eyes stung with tears. She felt her heart make palpitations. She wanted to cry at the moment. But, she didn't want Danny to witness her breakdown. She didn't want to give this asshole more fodder for any upcoming jokes. She leapt off of the bed. She gave Danny a shove as she ran pass him. She didn't bother to gather up her clothes. She didn't bother to cover her naked body. She just ran out of the bedroom as quick as possible.

The hallway was empty. She didn't hear any sounds of life. She was focused on returning to her bedroom and staying inside of the room for eternity. She ran down the hallway and made it to the end of the corridor. She made a right turn into a bedroom. Before the door could close, Katrina collapsed onto the floor, a few inches away from the exit. She gave into the demand of her heart and she started to weep.

She replayed the tense event that just occurred as she cried. She felt humiliated and heart broken, but more importantly, she felt stupid. She acknowledged the fact that her actions were mistakes.

'Why did I even bother with him? I shouldn't have done it,' she commiserated as a pair of tears rolled down her face.

****

Katrina's travel down 'memory lane' ended while her eyes gazed at her favorite framed picture. She stared at her infant son.

"I don't regret a thing now because of you," she said to the picture.

As she stared at the picture of herself with her recent born son, she recollected about the days and the months that followed after that day.

Four months, two weeks and three days after that night, Katrina was a freshman attending the University of Georgia, when she discovered that she was pregnant with T.D. A doctor from the college's student-health center notified her of her condition while still holding onto the used pregnancy test. Katrina was shocked. She thought that she needed an active menstrual cycle, in order to become pregnant. Her doctor informed Katrina that her body was probably going to start bleeding around the time that she was impregnated.

She knew that Daniel Logan was the father of her unborn child. She also knew that he hated her well enough that he wouldn't want to play an active role in the child's life, so she decided not to tell him. In fact, she didn't tell anyone the identity of her child's father. She didn't tell anyone about her pregnancy, except for her college roommate. Katrina knew that being a single parent was going to be filled with a lot of hard times. She also had to accept the fact that she was going to drop out of college and possibly return to her parents' house. But, she did make a promise to herself that she will eventually return to school, so she could obtain her degree. Then, she had come to her final conclusion, which was the fact that her family was not going to like any of her choices.

When she returned home, two days before Christmas for her break, she was in her second trimester and she was showing. Her family was appalled. Once the shock wore off and the threats of potential castration were already spoken, Katrina and her parents had a conversation.

On the evening of Christmas Eve, Katrina and the soon-to-be grandparents were in the dining room and sitting at the table. It was a talk that was more focused on Katrina's future as well as the future of her unborn child. Her father just asked Katrina one question: "In regards to your child and for you, what are your plans?"

She explained to her parents that she planned on 'taking a break' from college after the spring semester of her freshman year. She told them that she hoped that she will have a job by then, so she'll have enough money to acquire an apartment. As she spoke to her parents, they were silent. They didn't interrupt her while she spoke. There was an occasional head nod or a grunt from her father. Once she was finished speaking, her parents spoke and they ended up dropping a bombshell on her.

Katrina's parents, in particular her mother, notified her that she wasn't going to quit college. Then her father told her that was going to continue attending the University of Georgia. While she continued pursuing her education, her parents were going to take care of her child. Katrina, then, was told that they will take care of all of her medical bills. They requested that she would give them daily updates about her pregnancy. Her mother informed her that they were going to be present during the birth of their grandchild. But, her parents were going to leave the state with the baby. Then she was told that she needed to relinquish her parental rights for her child, in order for them to be the legal guardians for her child. Her father informed Katrina of the reasons why she needed to waive her parental rights.

Katrina was shocked. A small part of her was pleased that she was going to be able to go back to school. On the other hand, a large part of her felt sad at the notion that she was going to be separated from her baby. She knew that her parents wouldn't do anything dastardly like keep her baby away from her. Or secretly place her child up for adoption.

After that Christmas Eve conversation, Katrina thought about the impending act of separation from her child until it finally happened. On April 3rd, 1993 Tristan Daniel Micah Mora was born. He weighed a whopping ten pounds and ten ounces. A nurse measured the infant to be twenty-two inches long. She remembered hearing her father joke about playing the number combination '10-10-22' for the New York state lottery. Tristan's stature wasn't the only thing that garnered attention from the occupants that was inside of the delivery room. According to her mother, the baby boy was born "looking whiter than a virgin's bed sheets". Katrina thought that her baby looked exactly like his father, so she decided to give her son a name that reflected his father's own. Katrina knew that Daniel's full name was 'Daniel Tristan Micah Logan'. So she named her son Tristan Daniel.

Katrina stared at the picture that commemorated Tristan's birth. The picture was taken eleven minutes after she signed the contract that terminated her parental rights. To the untrained eye, the picture showcased a touching moment between a mother and her son. But for Katrina, the photograph captured her anguish.

Katrina let out a sigh and then stretched out her arms. "Okay, I am not going to get any work done today, if I keep thinking about the 'should've-could've-would've'!"

She noticed the folded up newspaper that sat on the left side of her desk. She already made up her mind about the reports, so she decided to spend the rest of her time of slacking by reading the New York Daily News. She grabbed the paper and proceeded to prepare to read the newspaper. She leaned further back in her executive chair. She extended her legs in the air and placed her feet on top of her desk. She gazed at the cover and read the headlines. One headline caught her attention. It was plastered on the top of the page.

"FROM EMPEROR TO PAUPER & NOW A JUGGERNAUT! SEE 'SPORTS' SECTIONS FOR DETAILS!"

Katrina's stomach rumbled in response from reading the headline. Her mind presented her heart with an idea about the article's potential content.

'Oh no,' she groaned silently.

Katrina turned to the sports' section of the newspaper and was greeted by a long article with a headline that had an attention-capturing font. In between the headline and the article, there was a collage of photos.

"An even trade is no swindle," she read from the paper. Her eyes scanned the blurb that was attached to the article. "Did the Laurelton Family make the right choice when it came to trading bad boy, wide receiver Darryl Hankinson for former Missouri Emperor Daniel Logan? Dean Pike thinks so..."

To accompany the headline, the blurb and the article, there was a collage of photographs. Each photo shown Danny during various games that he played during his career. There were pictures of Danny standing next to his parents at various charity functions.

Katrina proceeded to read the Dean Pike article. She read about how the owners of the Missouri Emperors had done a trade, completed last night, with the owners of the New York Juggernauts. She learned the Emperors' owners wanted to have the very first pick out of this year's upcoming draft. The owners of the Emperors' are desperate for a championship win. The fans also wanted their hometown team to bring home the trophy. The Olive Family, the owners of the Missouri Emperors, believed that certain players in the draft can help them achieve that dream.

"... The New York Juggernauts' owner Malachi and Paul Laurelton considers this trade to be an offer that couldn't be denied. I agree with the Laurelton Brothers. With this trade, the Laurelton Brothers were able to get rid of the wide receiver Darryl Hankinson, who has his fair share of trouble. The brothers also acquired Daniel Logan, who is a monster on the football field and an angel during the off-season. Logan, who has been with the Emperors since his rookie year in 1996, has an impressive career. So far, he has accumulated 208 tackles, 13 interceptions and 126 sacks in his five-year career..." Katrina read from the newspaper.

Katrina arched and pointed her feet. She rocked her head in correlation with the melody of the music that played from the computer.

"... Logan also is considered to be marketable entity as well. He has already been the poster boy for Triton Corporation; shilling off their razors, men bath products and their over-processed food products. Then there is his charity foundation, The Gridiron Angels, a foundation that he has built with his wife Mary Anne..."

Katrina groaned in irritation from the mentioning of Mary Anne. Luckily, there wasn't a picture of his wife to accompany the article. If there was a picture, she would've had a great time applying stick pins to it.

"I wonder if he plans on sticking it out with her," she pondered loudly. "Knowing those two religious kids, they probably will."

Katrina finished her reading and then placed the paper down on her desk. Then she stared up at the ceiling.

As she gazed at the dropped ceiling, she wondered, 'Why did he call me, of all people?'

It was a few minutes close to 9:00 AM, when she received the call from Daniel. She was in the process of running her laps around Prospect Park. She felt her cell phone vibrate against her hip. She stopped running so she could answer her phone.

Once she heard Daniel's voice, it seemed as if the world stopped. She couldn't believe it. She was talking to the one person who she has done a horrible deed towards. She needed to have a seat, so she found an unoccupied bench.

Danny began the conversation with an inquiry about the purpose of Pitocin. The question threw her off. She was expecting for Daniel to speak about anything else besides medicine. Then, she had gotten snippy with him. Her conscience chastised her. She was surprised to know that she was a little bit angry towards him.

The conversation continued and Katrina learned the purpose of his call. Mary Anne had gone into premature labor and managed to give birth to a healthy baby. He heard one of the nurses' mentions about the dosage of Pitocin. He believed that it was medicine that was going to make the baby healthy.

Daniel explained about the night that his son was conceived. Katrina cringed in mortification. She felt as if she was being told explicit details about her parents' sex life. Despite the 'ick factor', she was able to pay attention to his story, especially about the date of conception. She calculated the months. His wife was five months pregnant.

Then, there were the sounds of Danny's sobs. The sound of his despair caused Katrina to feel pity for him, despite disliking his character. She was there with him and then the call was disconnected. She called his name a few times. He didn't respond. She hung up and then she re-dialed his telephone number. She was welcomed with the noise of the busy signal.

Katrina was worried for him. She wondered if his mind was in a healthy condition. She knew that a lot of men would go into a murderous rampage, if they were in Danny's shoes right now.

Katrina changed her position in her chair and now she sat in her chair like a professional career woman. She gazed at the pictures of T.D. and grinned. She wondered about what type of father would become.

'Would Danny become an awesome dad like my daddy? Or would he turn out to be one of those lazy-couch potatoes-types of father? If he was there for T.D.'s birth, would he prefer to stay in the waiting room or would he stay inside of the delivery room with me? ...'

Katrina's imagination had gone into overdrive. She imagined a made-up scene in which Daniel was in the delivery room, on the morning that Tristan was born. She imagined Daniel with his hippie-like, long hair and wearing the hospital-issued scrubs holding an infant Tristan in his arms.

'On Tristan's first day of school, would Danny would've cried like I did?'

She imagined a scene of Daniel and herself standing on a sidewalk. They were watching their son stand on the line with other children who are about to climb inside of the school bus. A timid Tristan occasionally would glance at his parents. Katrina was crying and was having a hard time trying to contain her sobs. Daniel stood next to her and had placed a comforting hand on her back.

The feeling of rain drops landing on the back of her hand yanked her from her act of contemplation. She glanced down at her left hand, which rested on the desktop. The back of her sienna-hued hand was splattered with water. It wasn't coated with raindrops, but with her tears. As she stared at her hand, her enlightenment occurred.

"Fuck," she groaned. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck..." she muttered while wiping her face again.

Since Tristan Daniel was two years old, Katrina Mora thought that her infatuation, lust and the love that she felt for his father was gone. She thought that her feelings for him had the same life expectancy of a rose, where it started out as a bud; it blossomed and then withered away. Her enlightenment was the moment that Katrina learned that her feelings didn't wither away and died. Turns out, her opinions and feelings for Daniel were just like the phoenix. It died, but it was resurrected from the ashes.

*****