Be All That You Seem Ch. 04

"Carole, I'm glad you could get here today."

"Della, no problem." Carole sat down, putting her bag beside her.

"I know this is just about a wager but I'm determined to beat those two males of yours."

Carole laughed at that. "Me too, they can get a bit bossy at times, I'd love to show them we're at least as good, if not better, at this game."

"Well, we share that view." Della agreed. "Also, and I know it might sound strange for a demoness to say, but I am determined that we can get this Jane together with a lover. Too many females are somehow barred or simply too inhibited to realise their true feelings. Nothing compares to making love with a female and I have a soft spot for this human; I want her to at least experience that for real."

"Obviously that's a view I share, maybe for less altruistic reasons, but as we recognised at the start, our interests coincide. But, it's not working." Carole complained. "She appears to herself, and to anyone with any potential interest, as the hottest lesbian in London and yet it's backfired. I've known married straight women experiment more than she's willing to do; they'll go with a woman just to see what it's like or just to piss off their husbands."

Yes," Della agreed, "and unlike, them she's got nothing to lose in trying. But her response, rather than to loosen up, has been to harden her shell even further."

"Well, as I told you on the 'phone, she must have called me up soon after seeing you. She was in my office, or that of Petra, I should say, by the following afternoon. I hoped to build on what you had put into her conscious mind by adding some extra in the subconscious. She got to participate in one decent lesbian encounter. I think it paid off a little. I followed her down to Soho afterwards and she was checking out the lesbian literature, so I don't think we failed entirely. It might be that she is just more resilient than we thought."

"But that's why it's a challenge; that's why Jake and Tom picked her." Della reminded Carole.

"Yes, so we need a new approach." Carole suggested. "We need to get her more sexual in general before we can get her interested in me. She's not slept with a man since we started working on her."

"Sure, but of course, not everything's in our control though is it? Did you pick up on the incident last night at the boss's house?"

"I sensed it when I checked her in the café this morning." Carole confirmed. "Some woman named Tori fell for her big time."

"Well, what lesbian wouldn't? She looks like a walking sexual fantasy, doesn't she? That could have been the clincher, it could have made real what you and I had fed her earlier in the week. But I think it was more than her being disinterested in our suggestions. If Jane wasn't blinding herself by fighting all of this so hard, she would have seen that she and Tori had a lot in common. They could be platonic friends even if nothing else developed, but she thrust Tori away. I accept that that was probably in fright. She's fighting this very well, very hard. Jake and Tom were clever, she's a rare beast: she'll not accept pleasure without analysing and re-analysing the source. I am sure that if we engineered a lottery win she would then spend the next five years trying to find out how and why she won."

"Yes. I accept that. It means we need to shift strategy." Carole repeated.

"I agree, we abandon the image issue for the moment. We rushed that. She needs to become sexually active with someone, anyone, then become attracted to women, then we can bring about the transformation into this stunning lesbian heroine."

Carole smiled. "I do feel a bit guilty over that incident with Tori. She really fell for Jay. But if I've learnt nothing else in this game over the past few decades you can only control a few of the pieces, there's many others moving to their own rules and, so, quiteoften, something unexpected occurs. Sometimes it helps your task, sometimes it counters it."

"Well, to some degree we should not disregard what we have achieved so far." Della pointed out. "We have built up some momentum so that others are interacting with her as if she was already a lesbian. You know, we do not have to be there every step of the way."

"Yes, but as a result we inadvertently presented Tori with her fantasy woman and it turned out, at this stage, that that was just a tease. Tori did not deserve that. Even from what I saw in Jane's rather prejudiced memories, Tori's not some hard-nosed chauvinist denied an easy lay, she's a lot more decent than that, she's genuine."

"I agree. Men give female humans a raw deal as it is and they don't need us doing it for them too. Get Tori sent somewhere on company business and when she comes back Jay will be ready for her. How long will you take to have your fill of Jay?"

"Three, four months. If she is as good as I think she'll be, I'll be sated by then. Jake always knows the best ones. I can feel it in her, it's going to be good, but yes, she's got a life to live after I've fed from her and I concur with your unwillingness to let her be left bereft."

"So, the plan?" Della asked.

"Well, we let the ring off her. Keep it in reserve for when she is ready to change. What we must focus on is her urges. She needs to want sex a whole lot more than she does at the moment. We need to tread softly as she's suspicious now of anything that looks like it's labelled 'lesbian'. So we need her to get excited about her body and what it can do; interested in women's bodies in general and then that should lead her into seeing how nice it could be to interact with one."

"That's along the lines of my thinking. I don't think we've wasted our time so far. All the stuff about other people thinking she is gay will kick in again when she starts to feel it for real. One thing we also need to add into the mix is a desire in her to get out and socialise a hell of a lot more. Half the drunk straight women in a night club at the end of an evening are willing to give it a go with a woman. Then that will get her some experience with one, reduce the mystery and increase her knowledge of how good it can be. So, when you begin feeding those new ideas in, get a social life in there too. Her sitting at home pining over women she sees on DVD is not going to advance things as quickly as we need."

"Right, agreed. I'll keep you posted."

"And let me know if you need anyone like Kym to appear on the scene again."

"Will do and the same goes for Petra."

Della took a sip of the dark red wine in front of her and licked her lips slowly. It seemed to Carole that she was now going broach another topic.

"Something else has come up."

"Yes?" Carole asked with a hint of concern in her voice.

"Don't look so worried, it's just that another project has appeared. It's a bit different and I have held back from pursuing it until now, but I am enjoying what we are doing for Jane so much that I am finding it hard to resist."

"It's another woman?"

"Yes. You know I have been in and out of that office quite a bit in my role as Kym. I encountered another woman there who looks like she needs some help. I know I can't go round altering the lives of every female human so that they find happiness, but when I encounter some of them one-to-one I feel I ought to."

"Well, why not go ahead? Get her in like Jane, have a counselling session with her."

"I have started that already. From what I can tell, and her name's Steph by the way, is that she is a lesbian, but, of course, had some bad incidents about twenty, twenty-five years back and it entirely sapped her confidence. I could send her back there to try to get things right, but even a quarter of a century ago attitudes were different. You know times here are changing so quickly. For me it's like a blink of an eye, but for these humans, twenty years is a long time. I feel instead I need to give her a second chance here and now. I don't want half her life to have been just lived for knitted sweaters and cats."

"Well, boost her confidence. She can find love in her late forties, her fifties."

"Yes, I will do that, but I want to do something more radical."

"What? I suppose you have got the power."

"Don't look sheepish. I've sworn off transforming people into demon slaves, I told you that. It's just I feel it would only be fair to take her back, say to her twenties, let her experience what it's like to be a young woman in London now."

"Okay. Well, you know every woman would just love that to happen. You're going to have to go round changing a lot of minds to make that stick."

"Well, we'll take her away from her current job and set her up with a new life. You're good at that."

"Oh yes, I can arrange a position for her, a flat, that's not too difficult in a city like this. There's no reason why she should not get a post over someone else. Her current job will come free and we might be able to use that in turn."

"Yes, why not? When the time comes for Jane to start looking for Carole, wouldn't it be easier for them to be workmates, working late together, having to go round to each other's flats to finish it off. Much easier than a pick up in a night club."

"That is a good point. Okay. I think this will work and we get two happy women for the price of one."

"I don't want Steph's heart broken, but you can have a one-night stand with the new her, if you like. I can't guarantee her energies will be of the top quality you three seek out, but I'm sure an encounter with her will be good."

Carole smiled. "This deal is getting better by the minute. You're like an excited teenager."

"Well, I am only 483 in this planet's terms. I've got millennia ahead of me." Della almost giggled.

"Now, we need to talk strategy for this one. I guess you can just wave your hand and strip back the years, but that would throw up a lot of questions. I think the best would be something dramatic. Some sort of accident, Steph disappears and the new Stacey, Sara, whoever, wakes up and rediscovers her life as a twenty-something lesbian in London. Paperwork is no problem and I can fill her head with memories that come back gradually, we can weave in all the stuff she felt back when she was coming to her twenties, stopping of course at when you think it all went wrong."

"Excellent. Well, 'Kym' will get all the useful information that she can out of her and I will email what I get to you, you know bank account details, PIN numbers, etc. Then, let me know when everything is in place and I will engineer the alteration."

"Great."

"Here's to bringing some fun to females." Della raised her glass with a smile and chinked Carole's.

**** It was not that long after lunch when Kym came up to Jane, who noticed that the counsellor's every move was being watched by Steph.

"Jane, could I have a quiet word?"

"Erm, no I'm busy." Seeing Kym revived Jane's anger at her and Petra and what they had done to her.

"It won't take five minutes, come on, just a quick chat." Kym insisted.

Jane was reluctant, but there was something about Kym that made it difficult to refuse what she was asking. Jane left her desk. She moved a little uneasily as Kym seemed so expansive in her gestures that it appeared she was going to wrap her arm around her and push her down the corridor. Jane guessed the 'touchy-feely' approach was what was to be expected from a counsellor and let it slide. Soon they were in Kym's office. Despite the offer, Jane remained standing as she had been told, in order to indicate she did not intend to stay.

"It's nothing major Jane, I was just checking to see how you were."

"Fine." Jane responded tersely.

"Have the hallucinations faded?"

"No."

"Have you done anything along the lines I suggested?"

"No. I went to see Petra Northgate. Is she a lesbian?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"Well she put me in hypnosis and I ended up in some lesbian orgy, I couldn't get out. That can't have come from me, she had to be putting suggestions in my mind."

"No, Jane, that's not possible and it's not ethical. Petra is a professional. Anyway, you must know you can't be hypnotised to do anything you don't want to do."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"And anyway, what motive would Petra have for doing that? Do you think she's part of some international conspiracy to turn young women into lesbians?"

It seemed ridiculous when Kym said it like that, but basically that was what Jane had felt since leaving Petra's office. Well, not immediately, of course, because she had felt so high on the post-coital sensation, was it coital if it was between women? She did not know. Anyway, it was clear the hypnotised orgasm had befuddled her and she had gone round Soho pretending to be a lesbian but the cold morning light had raised up other views of what had happened.

"No, I suppose not." Jane conceded, at length. "Are you a lesbian?" She then snapped.

"That's irrelevant to this. Petra certainly has had many male partners. But that is beside the point, neither of us is working to an agenda, whatever you might imagine. We are here to help you or any man or woman who needs guidance. We can't make up your mind for you about your sexuality, we can only highlight things that you might have missed. It is very hard to get a grip on your true feelings when you are deep in the middle of them. Okay? Please don't make us the enemy, we're here to help you be happier with your life."

Jane was unwilling to accept that, she found it easier to blame Kym and Petra but had to acknowledge that all of this had begun to happen before she had even met them.

"Kym, I'm sorry. This is all so hard to accept."

"You want a solution that says, 'yes, you're mad, take these tablets and it will all stop'. Well, that is a rare outcome and not one that I think is appropriate for you. Everyone has to deal with their sexuality and maybe your dealing has simply been postponed. You're an intelligent, thoughtful woman so don't go all silly over this. What I say is, go where your desires take you and don't question why they want you to go there, because they are part of you and to deny them is to deny yourself. Will you agree to that, at least experimentally, for a month? Relax: that is a key thing. Relax, see what your body and mind are saying to you and follow where they lead. I can guarantee you'll feel a lot better."

Jane hated Kym for cheating her of the focus of her anger. However, she realised that she was being small minded and that was making her mean. Kym and Petra could have been much more frosty to her; far more dismissive. Had she done anything wrong yesterday when she had engaged in a few hours of lesbian experimentation? Had it done anyone any harm? Had she felt happier? She was not certain, but she certainly had not felt any worse. Maybe a month's trial was feasible. She would hate to admit that Kym and Petra had been right, but if their solution eliminated the hallucinations then she would be happier. She did, however, begin to sense that tinge of fear about what that outcome would mean for the rest of her life and also about the real, grown-up challenge of facing up to the fact she was different to how she thought she was. Then again, if that was the case, there was a big potential that moving herself in that direction would ultimately bring her happiness. Was not this all that Kym was saying?

"Okay, I agree. I will experiment for a month on my terms and then I'll come back and if nothing's changed, then I want Prozac."

"Well, it's not that simple, but we have a deal. Now, get out there and live life."

Kym thrust out her hand enthusiastically and Jane took it. Then the counsellor took Jane's other hand and held them both between her palms. Jane felt a tingle especially on her left side, but it passed and she thought nothing more of it. She was just glad that she seemed to have shaken off Kym's and Petra's unbending insistence that she was a lesbian. However, strangely she felt she could not renege on her commitment to at least experiment for a month. She was certain of the outcome already, so what harm did it do to try it? What would the experiment involve? She was unsure of for the moment but she felt she should give it some thought and do this properly. She had flicked by the gay and lesbian section of 'Time Out' in the past and maybe it was time to stop turning over those pages.

**** Jane awoke. The previous evening she had started the experiment that Kym had advised. However, despite sitting up reading 'Time Out' listings for lesbian activities and sneaking her 'Hot and Bothered 4' out from the bottom of the wardrobe, there seemed to have been little change. She was on the correct side of the bed and had no recollection of any lesbian sexual antics. Certainly no explicit dream had come, well not that she could remember. So, was that a good outcome? She guessed it was, but she was not hopeful that the peculiar reflection of her 'other' self would have faded yet.

Jane turned her head to check the time on her bedside clock and then reached to pull off the bed covers. She realised her left hand felt different and, looking at it, she saw that the ring had gone from her thumb. The skin where the ring had been looked less weathered. Jane felt a sudden burst of relief, the thing that had not only made her feel uncomfortable but she partially blamed for all the madness that had affected her recently was gone. She hurried to look in the mirror, still half expecting to see Jay in whatever she wore at this time of the day or what was left over from the night before, but instead saw herself as she was: in the long night dress, with her hair cut two inches above her shoulders but looking rather messy and her skin rather blotchy. It might be a mess but it was her.

Jane felt released from everything that had bugged her these past days. She also felt vindicated too and was certain now that Kym and Petra had been wrong about her. It seemed weird that the ring could have had such an effect. Maybe it was all coincidental. Perhaps, if you believed in things like Chinese medicine, the ring had just been pressing down on some power point and so had been triggering all the hallucinations. Whatever had been happening, Jane felt it was now over. She breathed a big sigh of relief and headed towards the bathroom.

Jane did not shower every morning, but today, for some reason she felt the need. As she unbuttoned her nightdress, her nipples felt terribly sensitive, not in a sore way, more aroused. It would not usually something she would think about, but the dreams and scenes that had been exposing her to intense sexual activity, she realised, had provoked a greater awareness of her body. Her labia too seemed excited and, as she rubbed the soap over herself and let the warm water run down her, making her body look shiny, Jane found herself breathless with excitement.

The sensation was wonderful. Jane rubbed her hands back over her skin and found them lingering around her nipples. She abandoned the soap and began rubbing her forearm over both nipples, gasping at the pleasure which she gained in reward. She tended to stay away from masturbation, feeling it was rather sordid, but the gentlest touches to her sex now fired off wonderful sensations that she could not stop herself from generating. She tried to shut out the image but all she could see as she closed her eyes was Naomi stroking her body and forcing her thigh between Jane's legs. Jane felt hungry to have that hardness thrusting against her again and to once more feel the sensation of soft female skin and breathe the distinctive scent of a female before her.

Jane tried to hold back but as climax took her and she shuddered precariously in the wet shower, her voice let rip to sound out her pleasure. Jane staggered against the wall and struggled to remain upright. Her body still felt incredibly sensitive all over but something within her signalled a surprising amount of satisfaction. Was it, she wondered, because she had climaxed thinking about a woman? Was all that her body and mind needed? Somehow it still felt wrong, but she could not deny the pleasure of it. Jane killed the shower and clambered out. She draped the towel around herself, concerned not to arouse herself again by rubbing her skin dry.