Beach Bum

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rnebular
rnebular
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I snapped out of my reverie, shocked that I had spaced out so badly. James was looking at me impatiently, tapping his foot.

"I asked you, if you could join me to sign the papers now?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. Let's go," I replied.

It only took us a few minutes to get there, thankfully. Eighty degrees out, with a nice warm breeze and the gentle waves lapping at the beach. The day was perfect as it always was. James and I sat at the bar, as the outgoing owner explained the place in detail. He lay out some papers showing his financials, as well as existing contracts with food and beverage vendors.

Honestly, I let James handle most of it. I looked out over the water, realizing that this was perfect. My friend had convinced me to plant roots, even if it was only in the form of a tiki-hut bar on the beach. I would still live on the yacht, but this would be where I sat to enjoy the rest of my life.

I looked at James as he smiled, while shaking hands with the seller. This was going to be good for him, too. He had a rough time before his arrival here. Heck, it had been tough even AFTER he arrived. That business with his ex-wife, and crashing his plane during that storm. I was starting to think he was a cat with nine lives, or maybe just skilled in life like MacGyver.

He was in love with Tanya, though, that much was obvious. I think he was a little gun-shy, after what his ex-wife had done to him, but overall, they seemed to be a happy couple. I was glad to see them enjoying each other's company, as they both meant a lot to me.

James was like the son that I never had. I might've had more kids, had I not screwed up so badly and cancer not claimed my love. Things would have been so different...

"Howard!" James yelled again. "Damn, man. Are you back on Earth yet?" he asked, laughing.

"Yeah, sorry, just daydreaming. What'd you say?"

"You've been doing that an awful lot lately, you okay?"

"Just tired, sorry," I replied, lamely.

"I was trying to tell you that it was your turn to sign, if you still want to do this," he stated.

I cleared my throat and nodded. "Yes, I still do. Where do I sign again?"

He pointed to a line on the last page, and I gave it my best John Hancock that I could. When we were done signing, Jeff, the outgoing owner, showed us around the place. As a joke, he introduced us to the one other employee that was there at the time, Kelly Peterson. We had visited the place enough that we knew most of his employees, and indeed considered them all our friends. Aside from Kelly there were two other employees, Samantha Montgomery, who helped tend bar in the evenings, and Jacob Paulson, who was in the kitchen for most lunch and dinner rushes. Jeff's wife Patricia, often hung around as well.

"Kelly, guess what?" I asked, jokingly.

"Oh god, Howard, now what?" she replied with a groan.

I chuckled. Kelly was one of my favorites, always able to take shit and give it right back. "Honey, you work for me now!"

She got a crestfallen look about her and lowered her forehead to rest on her arms. "Ugh, JEFF! How could you? REALLY?"

James came to her rescue then, "Hey, Kelly, don't listen to that old fool. He is only part owner."

"Oh great, so I have TWO pervy old bosses now?" she asked, lifting her head from the bar, laughing.

"I can't fuckin win, can I?" asked a hurt looking James.

His hurt look lasted all of about ten seconds, before he and I burst out laughing together. It was going to be a lot of fun, running this place with James. He really had become like the son I never had, in so many ways.

"Kelly, could you be a doll, and fix James and I each a 'Beach Pineapple', please?" I asked her.

"Are we gonna have to add that to the official drink menu now?" she asked.

"Well, we'd need an official drink menu, first," James added, laughing. "Jeff here has always been too good for one."

Jeff had no comment, but did give James a salute using his middle finger. I always liked Jeff.

"I suppose we should give it a new name, huh?" I pointed out.

"What, that unofficial drink? I thought you already called it 'Beach Pineapple'?" asked Kelly.

"No, you ninny, the bar! I can't very well see James and I running a place called Jeff's Hut. How about you, James? You fancy running Jeff's Hut?"

"Hah, um, no thanks."

"See. We need a new name! Anyone with an idea?" I asked.

Kelly groaned, and Jeff just laughed. "You guys are idiots. You're an old beach bum, and this one over here," as she pointed at James, "is just plain lucky!"

About that time, Tanya breezed over to hug James. She acted like they'd been separated for a year, the way she held onto him. In a way, I was happy for them. I also felt a deep sadness at the daily reminder of what I had lost. Naturally, I tossed down the remainder of my drink and stood up.

"Where do you think you're going, Howard?" Tanya asked. "I just got here."

I grumbled, but dutifully sat back down. That woman was something else. James was a very lucky man, and I felt very fortunate to have such good friends.

"I think, you guys should name it after Howard," Tanya said.

"What? A bar named Howard? That sounds silly," I replied.

"No, it should be, Beach Bum," she said, laughing.

"I think we should vote on it. Everyone in favor of Beach Bum?" James asked the group.

Everyone but Jeff raised their hand. He held up his hands as James gave him a pointed look. "What?" he said. "We'll be leaving here to retire. I say the name sounds great, but it really doesn't matter what I think."

"I'm flattered," I grumbled. "I Still think it's funny that you think of me as a bum," I laughed.

"Okay, so we stick with Beach Bum then?" James asked.

"Howard, how did you end up here in Hawaii, anyhow? I don't think I've ever heard that story," said James.

Naturally, James would turn the vote into story time. I hate James sometimes. Most of the time. Okay, as long as I'm not sober, we get along fine.

"Why do you think I drink so much?" I retorted. I really didn't want to talk about it.

"See, now you have to tell us!" Kelly said, very excitedly.

Knowing my friends, they would hound me until I told them another story. "Let's just say, I had a lot of bad shit going on, and decided to leave that stuff behind."

"Nope, you can't get off that easy," James teased.

"Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you."

*************

After I lost my wife, and my daughter all but abandoned me, I was adrift on an emotionless sea. I worked, ate, slept, and did it all over again. Weekends were virtually the same, aside from Sundays. On that day, I would go sit in the back of a nearby church, and pray for forgiveness.

I wasn't a very religious man, but felt that I owed it to Ellen. There was no way that I could make up for the horrible things I had done, no way to atone for my sins. Sitting in the pew, I never had any spiritual enlightening, but kept going out of some twisted sense of duty. The only thing I got out of it, was a continued sense of fault. I couldn't stop blaming myself for my sweet Ellen giving up.

About a year after Clarissa had moved out, I hit rock bottom. My parents were always upset whenever I was around, still blaming me for destroying a great family. My daughter hadn't contacted them either, or if she had, they never told me about it. I know that they loved me, but the few times I spoke with my mom on the phone, it was always the same thing. Disappointment.

"Mom, I was thinking of coming to visit you guys for Thanksgiving this year," I tried one cold October night.

"Well, I suppose we could get a Turkey or something together. It's just too bad you'll be alone, again," she replied, sadly.

"I know. Trust me, I know. You know I would give anything to take it back, don't you?" The line was silent for a minute. "Mom?"

I heard a sniffle. "Yeah, honey, I'm here. I just... miss them..."

The phone disconnected. I swore that I heard her starting to sob, just before hanging up on me. That was my life. I had a daughter that never wanted to see me again, and parents that couldn't stand talking to me anymore. I was a constant reminder to them, of all that I had fucked up. I ended up going to their place, and over the course of a year, we at least came to an understanding. I had fucked up and we all knew it, but we had to keep on living.

By that time, I had two private investigation firms looking for my daughter. I wasn't going to meddle in her life, but I loved her too much to just forget about her. Initially they traced her to a college out in California, but apparently, she had dropped out after the first semester.

It took another full year before they found anything more. She had gotten pregnant, and dropped out to become a mother. I was a grandfather! Once I read their printed report, I chugged my drink and made another. In no time at all, I was wasted.

There I was, a 43-year-old widower, and now I was a grandparent? I was once again struck with a sadness for the family that I no longer had. I turned to the bottle, big time. I only had a few friends at that time. Their names were Jamison, Glenfiddich, Macallan, and of course, Jim and Jack on bar nights.

*************

"So, did you ever talk to her?" asked Kelly, now very interested in my story.

I sighed. "Yes, I did. After I found out she had a baby, I wanted to try again. I knew that I would have to shape up before I tried, though. That meant no more drinking."

"Ha, ha, ha," James laughed. "We all know how that turned out," he continued with a smile, as he pointed at the now refilled drink in front of me.

"Fuck you very much, Sir," I said, laughing along with him. After a minute, everyone calmed back down. "I decided enough was enough, and to try to sober up. I went to see my doctor, and got referred to a rehab clinic. His nurse at the time was a beautiful woman, named Katherine. Long story short, I asked her out and she accepted."

"Now I know you're full of shit! No way, did a hot nurse accept going on a date with you," Tanya laughed, joining the conversation.

"Yeah, 'cuz that happens every day, right?" Kelly agreed.

"Seriously. She was very beautiful, and after a year of dating, became my wife. I loved that woman without reservation," I replied calmly.

Everyone stopped laughing, and an eerie silence descended on us. My story had to continue at that point. It was time to finish my confession.

*************

That visit to my doctor, turned out to be one of the greatest moments of my life. The doctor made some recommendations about programs I could get into, along with advising me to see a counselor about my personal issues.

The big benefit to it all, I had found enough courage to ask Katherine on a date, and she'd accepted! I hadn't been with a woman since that last time with Candice, so long ago. After being discovered, my now-gone wife had never rejoined me in bed. Candice had decided to resign and find a job at another company.

To be honest, it wasn't that I had missed the sex, although there was that, but more that I hadn't been close to anyone in a very long time. I remember our second date, when we were sitting in a nice Italian restaurant, talking about our lives.

"So, do you prefer to be called Howie, or Howard?" she asked me.

"Ooh, the tough questions, eh?" I replied. "Alright, let's do it. I prefer to be called Howard, but my closest friends used to call me Howie."

"Used to?" she asked, picking up on my wording.

"Long story. How about you?" I tried to digress.

She gave me a look. "Okay, I'll let it slide for now, but you are going tell me that story, eventually."

"Fair enough," I placated. I really didn't want to scare her off too quickly.

"I prefer to be called Kathy. Katherine sounds too stuffy and formal, like some kind of nanny from the nineteen-twenties. I still give my parents shit for it."

"You're much too beautiful, to be a stuffy old nanny," I teased.

She blushed. "Thank you. You're not so bad looking yourself," she smiled.

That night we made love. I fell in love with her, and eventually by our fourth date, she did get the long story out of me. I was in tears, as I confessed my past to her. She cradled my head against her chest, as I let it out. For the first time in years, I felt a connection with someone again.

I proposed to her, and she accepted. We married, and enjoyed every minute together that we could. She told me of her childhood, her overbearing parents, and her wild days in college. Being a nurse, Kathy worked crazy hours, but we made it work.

We had discussed it many times, but at our ages we weren't really interested in having children together. She loved kids, and worked with them on the job sometimes. She tried to help me in my quest to reconnect with Clarissa, but it wasn't meant to be.

When Clarissa's daughter was about two, I felt that I was reformed enough to try to contact her again. It was the most nerve wracking time I could ever remember. I sent her a long letter, trying to explain how thoroughly upset I was at myself, for having failed her and her mother so greatly. I tried to tell her that I wanted to be a part of her life again, and still loved her very much. I had started my little shrine to her by this point in a spare room of the house, Kathy helping me with the collage.

About a month after I had sent my letter, I got a reply. She sent me a very succinct letter, which I still have saved in a box. I can still see the tear stains on that paper, some were mine, and some obviously had been from before it was mailed.

*************

I know you are my father, but I wonder if I ever really knew you? Growing up, you were always there to pick me up when things got tough. I counted on you to be there for me. After everything that happened, who was I supposed to turn to for help? You?

That's what you took away from me. You took away my dad. I miss him.

If you love me at all, you will never contact me again.

*************

"Wow... I'm so sorry, Howard," James said. I could see in his eyes that he understood my pain.

"Yep. The one thing I wanted more in my life, was never going to happen. On top of everything, that was just before my dad had a stroke, and was put into a home. He couldn't take care of himself anymore, and mom was getting too old.

"I spoke with my mom then, and at least we came to an understanding. She finally realized that she was partially to blame for our not being close anymore. I mean, I know that it was my fault for cheating on my wife, but my mom apologized for not being there for me, her son. It was a really difficult time in my life."

"Okay, before you go on, everyone needs a fresh round of stiff drinks," exclaimed Shawn loudly, as he approached.

Everyone erupted with laughter, at the very large presence that Shawn always brought to the group. He was the mechanic friend of James, and had followed him out to the islands a while ago. Shawn and I had become fast friends, aside from the fact that he liked Kentucky Bourbon. I had forgiven him for his terrible taste a long time ago.

Kelly served up some drinks, as Shawn went behind the bar and made his own. Bourbon, on the rocks. A lot of bourbon. In a beer mug. I really like Shawn. As he moved back to come out from behind the bar, he brushed behind Kelly, making sure to grab her hips on his way past.

"Watch it, Shawn! My boyfriend might have to kick your ass!" she warned, laughing.

"Yeah, I'll be sure to watch out," he replied, leaning over her shoulder to give her a smoldering kiss.

"So, there's this guy, hitting on me at the bar..." she joked.

Everyone laughed, knowing that Kelly and Shawn had been together for nearly a month by that point. Those two had initially seemed like a very unlikely pair, but they made it work, spectacularly. Anyhow, that would be another story, for another time.

I cleared my throat, going on after getting everyone's attention again. "Later that year, and dad had another stroke. He didn't survive the second attack, and it simply crushed my mother. She and I talked at the funeral, and I could tell she was going to be following him very soon. She wasn't physically sick, but you could tell the will to live was gone. They really had been quite the pair..." I said, staring off at nothing on the mirror wall behind the bar.

*************

The Thanksgiving before my dad had his stroke, Kathy and I joined Mom and Dad at their house. We had a nice dinner, and I enjoyed the feeling of having a family again.

"Howard, Kathy, we are so glad you are both here," Mom said.

"Thank you, it's really special for me too," Kathy said. "My parents are probably somewhere in the middle of Montana by now."

"Kathy's parents are enjoying their retirement, in an RV," I explained.

Dad started to chuckle. "That's what I keep threatening your mom with, but she is adamant that we aren't going anywhere."

Mom just gave him a look, as they both giggled at some private joke. Dad held Mom's hand, and they moved in for a quick kiss on the lips. They always did little things like that, even when I was a young boy. It felt great to see it again, after all that had happened. Kathy and I shared a look, and emulated my parents with a quick kiss of our own.

*************

"That was the last time we enjoyed a meal together. After that, Dad had his first stroke, and we never got together as a family again, until the funeral that is."

"So, what happened after the funeral? What happened to Kathy?" asked James, pointing out the obvious, that I was no longer married.

"That, my boy, is another long story. Let's eat something first, shall we?" I asked.

Kelly and Jeff got busy in the little kitchen, and we had an impromptu fish fry. The fish was a lightly seasoned and battered Kole. For sides, they made some hush-puppies and house fries, and cut up some fresh honeydew melon. We enjoyed another round of drinks, and the fish was great, filling my empty stomach.

"We should make this a weekly event, don't you think?" James asked.

"That's actually a pretty good idea," Tanya agreed. "I know I would love it!"

"It's settled then!" James announced.

Everyone enjoyed the food and drink, but I knew that shortly I would have to finish my story. I tried to remember where I had left off...

*************

My mom passed away, only a few short months after my dad. I felt their loss tremendously, and buried myself in work. A week after mom died, my parent's lawyer and I sat down to go over their estate. As an only child, I inherited almost everything from them. They had set aside ten percent of their estate, to be used for establishing a college fund in their name. The rest, came to me.

I was already doing well for myself, but after the inheritance, I no longer had to worry about money. The net amount after taxes and settling all their debts, was just shy of $112 million dollars. I had no idea they were that rich. Suddenly Kathy and I were multi-millionaires, so we had a long talk about our future.

She admitted that while she enjoyed her job, she no longer wanted to work. Kathy decided to do some volunteering instead, with a charity for homeless and low income families. That place really was amazing, what it did for those poor people. Kathy really got to make a difference in people's lives, and if it made her happy, it made me happy. She was such a good person, it made me proud to be her husband.

A few months after the windfall, I had slacked off on the work front, to the point where I was ready to retire, myself. I eventually followed my wife's advice, and set up a college fund for Clarissa. We got a lawyer friend to draft up an official looking letter, proclaiming it was an inheritance from her grandparents. Obviously, my name wasn't mentioned at all. That began my silent help of her, and her family.

rnebular
rnebular
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