tagHumor & SatireBeach Protest

Beach Protest


The author asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work. This is a work of fiction. The events described here are imaginary; the settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons.

There are two nudist beaches in our district. Both are fairly difficult to get at, very stony and were not popular before they were designated as nudist. By tacit agreement and custom the smaller one was for women only and the slightly larger one was for both sexes.

The beaches had been in use as nudist beaches for about ten years when one of the local paper printed a letter from a withheld address complaining that the writer, while walking with her grandchildren on the cliffs, had seen nude women kissing on the beach. The writer said that she was ashamed and wanted the local council to "do something about this offence to public decency".

Next week there had been a flood of letters to "The Editor" both for and against. Most ignored the fact that only a very small part of the beach was visible from the cliffs and that the users of the beach had just stopped using the visible part.

However, the issue was in public so the Council decided that it would have to act. Two or three Councillors tabled a motion requesting that the "women's beach" should lose its nudist designation. We thought the issue would die down but rallied our supporters and started action just in case.

Both sexes of nudists gathered a petition of several thousand local electors supporting the current arrangement but the Councillors were on a moral crusade. By a large majority they recommended to the Executive that the nudist designation should be removed and that all nudists should use the unisex beach.

I called a crisis meeting at the beach ... where else? We couldn't be overheard; no one we didn't know was likely to risk gatecrashing. We knew every detail of the regulars' bodies.

Apart from the nudity the beach was a place where the women of the town could relax and let their hair down, emotionally as well as literally. We discarded and switched off our phones and bleepers or at least left them with our clothes. We didn't have to wear push-up bras, war paint or even have to pretend that we were years younger than our chronological ages. It was the place where we could be our unadorned ourselves. Naked, who cared that one of us was a lawyer, another a head teacher, and another a waitress?

Despite the complaint it wasn't a lesbian paradise. Most of us are straight, some are bi, and a few are lesbian but it didn't matter. We left that behind. I won't say that nobody made dates on the beach, but nobody did anything there. Apart from being in full view of the rest of us, the beach was too stony for any passionate clinches. We behaved almost as we would do if fully dressed. We hugged and kissed friends, air-kissed acquaintances and waved at those we vaguely knew.

I started the meeting by asking if anyone knew which of us might have been seen. The answer was simple. Mary had been swimming. As she came out of the water her sister Anne had met her and hugged her. Anne had been away at a conference for a few days and had returned that day. When she rang Mary, Mary's eldest son had told his aunt that Mary was at the women's beach. So Anne went to the beach.

But the implications for us were bad. If it became known that the women seen kissing were sisters, the prudes in the town would assume lesbian incest and the fat would really be in the fire.

We had only one chance left to stop the change. The Executive was just seven Councillors, all men. The whole Council had a nearly equal number of men and women but party politics and length of service had created a men-only Executive. If four of the Executive could be persuaded to vote against the change, the beach would remain as it was for at least a year. By that time the furore would have subsided and no one would be likely to raise the issue again.

When the Executive met, several of us, supported by some of the men, presented our case. We had photographs showing just how little of the beach was visible. We were willing to promise to stay off that part of the beach. We won a delay. The Executive wanted to visit the cliffs and the beach before making a decision.

On the day of the Executive's visit we were all fully dressed. We demonstrated exactly what could be and what could not be seen from the cliffs. We provided tea and cakes for the Councillors. We had many people lobbying on our behalf. We had the support of The Chamber of Commerce, The Residents' Association, The Masons, and any other organisation we thought could help. After the visit we thought we had won. The reports in the local papers were generally favourable. The next meeting of the Executive on Thursday evening would make the decision.

The only thing we didn't allow for was one church's minister. We had spoken to all the local churches, but that particular minister was away. He came back on Saturday. We forgot to contact him before Sunday morning. It was his turn to conduct the annual Civic Service, which celebrates the work of the community. In front of a congregation of all the Councillors, and all the great and good of the town, his sermon flayed nudism, nudists, particularly women nudists, and suggested that there were acts of flagrant immorality performed in public view on a daily basis. He promised Hell Fire and Damnation. It would have been a great sermon in the Nineteenth Century but not in the Twenty-first.

What could we do? A large section of the congregation walked out while he was in mid-flow, but you can't get up in church and contradict the preacher. It just isn't done.

Thursday morning the two local papers came out, each with banner headlines and several pages on the subject, quoting the minister at length with added comments from him and with interviews agreeing with him. We were disgusted. We were also condemned in public with no chance to redeem ourselves before the evening's meeting. I telephoned as many friends as I could. We met on our beach despite the light drizzle. It seemed to match our depressed mood.

"We will lose if they make the decision this evening." I said to nods from everyone there. "What do we do?"

"We make sure they don't make the decision this evening, Lisa," said Jan.

"How?" I asked.

"I think there are several ways," Jan said "We could stop the meeting taking place, we could make sure that the meeting doesn't have its quorum of at least four, or we could get the Executive to defer the decision, or to disqualify themselves from taking the decision."

I wasn't sure. Jan and I underestimate each other too often. We are lovers despite being happily married with children. We enjoy each other's bodies and find bliss on a double dildo and squeal for joy with a double vibrator. Our physical loving is so strong that we forget that both of us have brains. Every time I look at Jan I grow weak and sloppy with an insatiable warm urge between my legs. I do the same for her. It makes intelligent conversation difficult when all we want is to find the nearest double bed. I can easily understand how some men find it difficult to talk sensibly to a beautiful woman.

"Those alternatives sound possible, but how can we do any of them?" I asked, "If we stop the meeting or make it not quorate, they could just call the meeting for tomorrow morning."

"No, they can't," said Jan. "They have to give ten days notice of any meeting. If we stop them tonight, they can't meet again for at least eleven days counting the day the notices go up. So we would have time to contradict this week's newspaper reports."

"I've done something," said Mary.

We all looked at her. Mary was usually so quiet. We rarely noticed her presence on the beach. She wasn't shy. She just didn't say much unless someone spoke to her first.

"I've got an injunction issued against the minister and started a suit for libel." Mary continued.

"What!" Several of us said at once.

"I've got an injunction issued against the minister and started a suit for libel." She repeated.

We were stunned. We hadn't thought of using the law. We had even forgotten that Mary was a qualified and practising lawyer.

"It won't work in the long term," Mary said. "Generally a minister speaking from his pulpit is privileged but the remarks printed into today's papers aren't. But it could delay things tonight because we can argue that the matter is "sub judice" and the Executive can't make a decision until the case is heard. When and if it is heard we'll lose but it buys us time."

"Do the Executive know?" I asked.

"Perhaps not yet, but they will. I have served a notice on their Chief Executive this afternoon. He has been informed that the injunction has been issued and the libel suit is pending. The Council's legal advisor will tell him that the Executive cannot proceed."

"How do we know what the Council's legal advisor will say?" I asked.

Mary grinned. "Anne IS my sister."

That settled it. Even so we were not convinced that the Executive would listen so we made plans. As we spoke Mary stood up.

"I don't think I had better hear any more. I might have to advise that you are intending to break the law. So I'm going. I'll be on my mobile number if you need me later this evening."

Mary left. We continued to plot.

About half an hour before the Executive was due to meet thirty of us assembled in the car park near the Council chamber, which is a separate building, set in woodland. We were all wearing tracksuits or shell suits. As we had arranged we split into groups of four. Each group had one Executive member as their target. Jan and I were the organisers and the reserve in case other councillors attended. We are both big women who can look after ourselves.

We let the Council Officers set up the chamber for the meeting. The press arrived. As usual they were two junior reporters, one from each local paper. Both were female and both had visited the nudist beach. We were surprised that their editors hadn't sent more senior staff but pleased. These reporters were on our side.

The first Executive member arrived. The team of four surrounded him. He didn't get any further and had to listen to the arguments in favour of deferring a decision.

The same thing happened to the other six. Four women surrounded each one. As the time of the meeting approached they tried to end the conversation. One tried to push his way through. That started the next phase. Two women slipped their arms through his.

"Are you using force?" he asked with a grin.

"No," was the reply "We are just accepting you as our escort."

He went into the Council chamber with a woman on each arm and two following behind. The other Executive members followed each with escorting women.

Jan grabbed my arm.

"Look, Lisa,"

I turned. The City Sheriff was hurrying from the car park.

(Note for non-UK readers: A City's Sheriff is a councillor who is a Deputy or Assistant Mayor. Although technically responsible for keeping the City's peace he (or she) is just a substitute Chairman for meetings. People are made Sheriff as a reward for services to the City, sometimes as a consolation for not being elected as Mayor. City Sheriffs do not carry Colt 45s. When in uniform they wear a cocked hat, a robe and a chain of office. But they can call upon the assistance of the Police if they need to.)

"Oh shit!" I said. "They must have realised that we might cause trouble. You can deal with him, can't you, Jan?"

"Of course I can. I've got years of practice, haven't I?"

Jan intercepted him. She wrapped her arms tightly round him. The members of the Executive had entered the Council Chamber so no one else saw them.

"Not now, Jan, please." the Sheriff protested faintly.

It did him no good. Jan pulled his head down between her breasts and held him tightly. Why not? Derek the Sheriff is her husband. He knows that Jan and I are lovers but doesn't object because he gets a fair share of Jan's loving, sometimes more than he can handle. He was getting more than he wanted now. Jan had pulled her tracksuit's top up and pushed his head inside between her naked breasts. He wouldn't be able to interfere with our activities inside the Chamber until Jan had finished with him.

I hurried into the Council Chamber. It was still a few minutes before the meeting was due to start. The Executive's members were widely separated in the Chamber, which is built to hold all the Councillors. Each still had their escorting women.

I walked up to the Mayor's throne. I picked up the Chairman's microphone. He seemed to want to object but somehow a woman's arm briefly covered his mouth.

"Ladies, Councillors, Officers and Ladies of the Press, " I said "before this meeting starts officially those of us who use the women's nudist beach want to give this assembly a presentation and put our case for continuation of the current arrangements."

I raised my free hand. All the ladies present stripped off their tracksuits and stood naked beside the Councillors. There was a gasp from the Chairman. I followed his gaze. The Ladies of the Press and all the female Council Officers had stripped. We hadn't expected or arranged that.

"This is how we appear on the nudist beach. We do not offend public morality. Nothing offensive happens there. It is perfectly natural. We expect you to dismiss the proposal to remove the nudist designation."

I paused. The Chairman reached for the microphone. I passed it to him.

"And if we don't?"

He handed the microphone back to me.

"I don't think you can decide because the matter is sub judice."

Anne nodded and switched her microphone on.

"It is, Chairman. You cannot decide to change until the case has been heard."

"I hear what you say," the Chairman said.

The women around him braced themselves.

"but what would you do if we decided against you when we can make the decision?"

"We are prepared to copy Lady Godiva." I replied.

"I know that she rode naked through the streets of Coventry to stop her husband imposing a tax on the citizens but how exactly would you copy her? Ride on horseback through our City?"

"No. We haven't got enough horses. What we would do is go about our normal lives completely naked. Many more of us than you see here, including the men who support our stand, would go to work, go shopping, go to collect our children from school and do everything else ... completely naked. It would make this City nationally and probably internationally famous. It is June. We could keep up this protest for a couple of months at least."

"I see." He said.

"You do. And you will. So will everyone else."

The Chairman looked at his colleagues. One of them turned his microphone on.

"Mr Chairman. I propose that we do NOT change the designation of the women's nudist beach."

"Thank you. Is that seconded?"

Several hands went up.

Then we shall vote. All those in favour of the resolution?"

Seven hands went up.

"The motion is carried."

The Chairman turned to me.

"Now can we get on with the rest of the agenda?" he asked "And can we have our Sheriff back, please?"

"Yes, Chairman," I replied, "but only after we have expressed our thanks."

The Chairman and his fellow Executive members were swamped by naked female flesh and kissed repeatedly. As this happened I walked over to the Press.

"Can I rely on your discretion?" I whispered.

They nodded.

"It will be reported as a normal item," one said.

The other nodded "But what about the libel cases against our papers and the minister?" she asked.

"They will be dropped," said Mary who had walked up behind me "They have served their purpose."

I went back to the Mayor's throne. He was still being kissed and seemed to be enjoying himself. I picked up the microphone again.

"On July 14th it is National Nude Day in the US. I think we can copy our American friends. We will have an Open Day at the women's beach. You and all the other Councillors are invited, as is everyone else of both sexes in this City. The only proviso is the dress code. All those attending must be naked."

The Chairman retrieved his microphone.

"On behalf of this Executive, I accept your invitation. I will commend it to the other Councillors and to the citizens. We will see you on July 14th."

That was it. We dressed and left. Jan released Derek who had turned bright red after such a prolonged titting.

The Press reports played down the decision but headlined our invitation. One headline was "Dare to Bare". The other was "Come as you are".

July 14th was hectic. The beach was crowded from dawn to dusk and well into the night. The men provided the food from the barbecues and the women dispensed the drinks. Several men had to be treated for burns in embarrassing places. Even the minister who had preached against us came, dragging his reluctant wife. She apologised to us because she had been the one who made the original complaint.

It was such a success that we agreed to celebrate July 14th as Open Day every year.

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