Bean Counter Ch. 14byCreamer©
We got home in the early afternoon. Mary was quiet the whole way, and it wasn't until I put the clothes in the "trunk" of her Gremlin and dragged her inside that she spoke.
"Okay, what do you want to do with me now? Fuck me?" she asked, matter-of-factly. The morning's humiliations had clearly disturbed her, and she had adopted a callous attitude in an attempt to reclaim her dignity.
Can't have that.
"The master bathroom," I said, taking off my jacket. She raised an eyebrow, but did as I asked without comment. I chuckled and got the supplies I'd purchased a few days before in preparation. She was lingering around the garden tub by the time I joined her.
"So . . . a bubble bath?" she ventured.
"You wish!" I laughed. "No, I think it's time we took care of something."
"Your bush. I want it gone."
"WHAT?" Mary had never gone bare in her life. Oh, she'd get a bikini wax every Spring before we went to the beach, but only what was necessary. She had always kept a lush, lightly trimmed bush. I didn't really mind it, but I thought it would be more humiliating if I shaved it off.
"I want to shave you bare. All of it."
"I'll look like a little girl!" she protested. "Or some slutty porn star! OhmyGod, I've got an OB appointment this week – what will they think of me? Bill—" she stopped. I didn't even have to say it. She hung her head and nodded. "Where do you want me?"
"Side of the tub. Here, let me put down a towel."
I took a long time to do it, carefully paring away the fuzz and then attacking it with an electric razor. I'm sure it pinched a bit in places – she jumped often enough – but it got the job done. And the depravity and vibrations combined to get her very turned on.
"I . . . feel like I'm twelve years old again!" she said accusingly when I pronounced her done. "Damn! Every little breeze . . ."
"Sensitive?" I inquired, devilishly.
"Good," I said, and buried my face in her pussy.
I was merciless. I ate her to six thunderous orgasms, and countless smaller ones. She rode my face like a mechanical bull, begging me to stop but not daring to pull my lips away. I ate her until my tongue was tired and my lips were numb. Her thighs were soaked with her juices and sprinkled with the remains of her bush when I decided I'd had enough.
"Jesus, Bill! Did you like it that much?"
"It was interesting," I conceded. "I could get used to that. Maybe my next wife . . ."
"I don't know about your next one, but this one feels limp as a dishrag. God! I never came that much before! I could feel every whisker on your chin!"
"Great, great. Well, let me just tear off a quick piece and then I can send you off to work."
"Bend over the tub. I want to fuck you from behind. Like an animal."
And I did. I took my pleasure manfully, without regard to her feelings on the matter. She was compliant, and in the process she had another two orgasms while I pumped her pussy silly. She was panting and disheveled when I finally squirted my load into her pussy and caught my breath.
"Wow," she breathed. "I can feel your spooge dripping out of my lips . . ."
"Great. Money's on the dresser. See you . . tomorrow morning. Or do you want to knock off another bean tonight? You only got one today," I reminded her.
"Shit, you want more?" she asked, astonished.
"I should be good to go by then. Nothing fancy."
"I . . . I should . . ."
"Deny me nothing."
"Fine. Right after work. Um, Tim will be expecting me to cook."
"And that concerns me so terribly much."
"Just thought I'd mention it. I'll just throw something in the crockpot when I go home to change. Shit, I need to go to the grocery store before then, too. I don't have to be at work until seven . . ."
"Just make sure your mouth is back here by eleven."
"All right," she said, resigned. She was walking very gingerly as she left.
That left me time for a nap, a quick snack, a trip to the store, a stop at a bar for a drink, and a check-in phone call to Susan, Mary's sister.
"Hey, gorgeous," I said, playfully.
"Hey, favorite brother-in-law!"
"Um, aren't I your only brother-in-law?"
"Well, yes, but you're still my favorite. I got my eyes done on Monday."
"Oh! I forgot all about that! How are things? Did it go OK?"
"Perfect! I see brilliantly! I saw the alarm clock this morning, and the street signs, and fine print, and all with my bare eyes! Bill, it's amazing!"
"I'm glad I could help out."
"And what have you been doing with my sister?" she asked, almost demandingly.
"Um . . . making her suck my dick. Among other things. Why?"
"Because she called me about an hour ago from work. She barely mentioned Tim. All she could talk about was you. She didn't go into detail, but . . ."
So I went into detail, catching Susan up on the fun parts of the last week or so. The humiliation. The degrading trip to the mall. The Santa suit. The maid's costume. Susan ate it up like chocolate cake and made a few creative suggestions along the way. When I told her about the Brazil job I did on her big-sister's cunt, she went wild.
"Oh, that's so great!" she giggled. "I remember in High School how she spread the rumor about Cindy LeMay was a slut because she had a trimmed bush for swim team! The irony is delicious! What's tomorrow's costume?"
I told her, and she howled with laughter and insisted I tape it. I agreed, and extracted a promise of more hanky-panky next time I could manage it. She in turn agreed to let me know what Mary was telling her, violating a sister's confidence in the bargain, and expressed her gratitude with an open sexual invitation for the rest of our lives. I like Susan. She's my kind of scoundrel.
After I hung up with her, I got on craigslist, went to the "casual encounters" section for our town, and placed the following ad:
"MY PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND LOVES TO SUCK COCK! And we need the money! So TODAY ONLY, for a LIMITED TIME between 4:00pm and 6:00 pm, you can enjoy her hot sucking mouth for the low, low price of just $20.00! FIRST CUM, FIRST SERVICED! No cock too small! No cock too large! Ask about our special group rates! CASH ONLY! NO CREDIT CARDS ACCEPTED! Discretion assured! No strings attached! No condoms allowed!" I left their address and a Mapquest link.
I'm such a bad man.
When Mary showed up that night, her eyes were red and puffy from crying all evening.
"What's wrong? My dick that scary?"
"Do you want to . . . never mind," she said, shaking her head. "Sorry, Tim just did . . . something to piss me off. A lot."
"I'm heartbroken. Ready to suck me off?"
"Bill, give me a goddamn minute to get my head back, OK?" she demanded. "I'm not rejecting you, or denying you, but . . ."
"Fine, take all the time you need. I'll be in the den. Meet me in there when you feel up to it," I added, sarcastically. She was vulnerable. Despite the urge I had to comfort her, I couldn't cave now.
I went into the den and fired up the laptop, bringing up a porn site I subscribe to and getting in the mood by watching barely legal sluts sucking cock for tuition money. It took about ten minutes, but Mary finally came in, her eyes still red. She wore a stoic look on her face.
She glanced at my computer, made a face at what she saw, and then sat down between my feet.
"A little young, aren't they?" she asked.
"Old enough to vote, old enough to poke," I said, wittily.
"Yes dear. Now suck my cock."
She sighed heavily, and went to work on my skin flute without enthusiasm. Which was just fine by me.
I mean, an enthusiastic blowjob is a thing of beauty, I know. When a gal puts true passion or insane horniness into her performance, you're in for a wild ride. But there is also something erotic about a woman sucking your cock who just really wouldn't rather be sucking your cock, but has to. Maybe this is particular to married guys, I don't know. But the fact that she didn't want to do it, but was obligated to do it anyway, certainly added to the thrill.
I watched porn, really nasty, dirty, guaranteed-to-get-you-arrested-in-Utah porn while she did it. I flitted back and forth between young girls swallowing cock and young girls taking it up the ass. I didn't hold back on my commentary, either, noting particularly hot sets of tits, cute smiles, resemblances to people I knew, and amazement at how much it must hurt to get fucked up the ass.
Through it all Mary quietly sucked, keeping her misery at bay by focusing on the methodical pleasuring of my dick. Every now and then she'd lift off and absently stroke me by hand and talk.
"You really like girls that young?"
"They're pretty, hot, and trainable," I commented.
"Well, pretty, yeah, but they barely know which end of the dick to put in their mouths," she complained.
"That's why they're trainable," I answered smugly. "But you can put up with a little stumbling if the package is pretty. Look at her tits – it's like they've got helium! Not a single stretch mark, and I'm sure she couldn't even spell cellulite."
"No doubt," Mary said coolly.
"Hey, don't be jealous. You looked pretty decent, back in the day."
"Wha—?" she started, getting pissed.
"Nothing personal," I soothed. "I mean, you still look OK. But I'm sure you were a hot little piece of ass when you were eighteen and sucking off High School boys."
"Bullshit! I never—"
"Sorry, dear, I've known for some time. About all the boys. And your mouth. So much for the 'innocent Catholic girl' act you put up when we were married."
She looked shocked. "How—?"
"It isn't important," I dismissed. "Maybe if we were still really married, it might be. But the fact you were willing to suck off a bunch of horny kids for the sake of your popularity and you wouldn't suck your own husband – that you swore you loved – without a goddamn act of Congress – that doesn't bother me at all, now. Get back to work," I admonished, before she could protest.
Mary was pissed, I know. But her sucking picked up, an angry sucking with plenty of bitter resentment. It wasn't long before I dumped another load with a long, exquisite sigh.
"Fine, that was pretty good," I said, mildly as she wiped a stray bit of cum off of her chin. "See you in the morning. Costume will be in the guest room. Don't be late. I'll have coffee on."
I had another snack and waited for her to get home. Then I sat down at my computer, activated the spy connection to Mary and Tim's house, and watched the fireworks.
"You fucking asshole!" was how she began, the moment she walked in the door. I couldn't see her, of course, but I could imagine her face.
"What?" Tim asked, confused.
"Was that your fucking idea for a joke? To almost get me raped?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about the six – SIX! Six fucking cars in our driveway when I got home today!"
"Six cars? What's that—"
"Yes, Tim," she hissed icily. "Six cars. Each with a horny man inside, waiting his turn to pay twenty bucks to get sucked off by me."
"They said they saw my ad on the internet, Tim. ON THE FUCKING INTERNET! One guy even had it printed out. Had a map to our house and everything."
"But, baby, I didn't—"
"Six, Tim, six horny, nasty old men who wanted blowjobs. Who had been promised blowjobs by you. For twenty dollars. Just like we joked about yesterday, remember?"
"I didn't do it!" Tim wailed. "Jesus! I didn't fucking do that! I've been at work—"
"Well, SOMEBODY fucking placed that ad!" she screamed. "If you didn't then who did? Did you mention that shit to anyone, Tim? Did you?" she demanded.
There was a pause. "Just . . . maybe I . . . I was just blowing off steam to the guys at work," he said, lamely. "One of them must have—"
"One of them must have decided that you were serious about renting out your girlfriend's mouth?"
"It's obviously a joke!" Tim defended.
"The big fat man with the pick-up truck didn't think it was a fucking joke! I had to threaten to call the law on him if he didn't leave! The others were just pissed, but that guy was ready to rape me, Tim! JESUS, you're such a fucking idiot!"
"It was just a fucking joke! Not even one I pulled!"
"A real knee-slapper, too! You are SUCH an asshole! I can't BELIEVE I left Bill to be with you!"
"Yeah, Mr. Saintly Accountant. How many times did he make you suck him off today?" he demanded, eager to change the subject.
"Twice," she spat, bitterly. "At least I agreed to that. I didn't agree to whore around so you wouldn't have to work so hard to care for our child!"
"THAT WAS A JOKE!"
"Ha fucking ha," she said, bitterly. She stomped off into the bedroom, where I could finally see her on the cam. She threw her purse onto a pile of laundry and started getting undressed. Tim followed her in, meekly.
"Mary, babe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to . . . what the hell?" he asked, surprised.
"What?" she asked, tossing her skirt to the floor.
"What happened to your bush?"
"What?" she repeated.
"Um, your pubic hair? What happened to it? Leave it at work?"
That made Mary blush enough so that I could tell even on the crappy cam. "I . . . I just felt like a change," she admitted. It was obvious that she was lying. Even Tim realized that.
"You . . . swore to me that you'd never do that," he breathed, slowly. "You said that you thought it was perverted and the next best thing to incest – which is total fucking crap, but OK. So what changed your mind?" he asked, accusingly.
"I . . ."
"Or, should I ask who changed your mind?"
"One of the girls at work suggested it," she explained, lamely. "She . . . said that they did it when you gave birth. I thought I'd try to get used to it."
"Bullshit," Tim spat.
"Tim, just leave me alone, OK? I've had a pretty bad fucking day. Almost got raped because of your little joke, OK? So give it a rest."
"The hell I will!" he shouted. "You had a bush this morning, and suddenly it isn't there – I smell Bean Counter. What did Dollar Bill promise you for that?"
"Leave Bill out of this!" she screamed.
"Seems like he's pretty neck deep in it already!" he accused. "Or is that 'balls deep'? What did he give you to go 'oo natu-RAL?'"
"Leave me alone, asshole!" she wept as she tried to get her nightgown on. "I've had a bad day!"
"Oh, no!" Tim demanded angrily, crossing the room quickly and ripping the nightgown out of her hand. "I get to see. Lay down."
"Lay the FUCK down!" he shouted, pushing her back on the bed. I held my breath and prepared to call 9-1-1. I didn't want Mary hurt, after all. She landed softly, though she wore a scared expression on his face. Tim roughly pushed her thighs apart and inspected her bare pussy.
"Wow," he said. "I'm impressed. That's sexy as hell. And . . . is it always this swollen? I mean, it looks like you got fucked all day. I can't believe you had such a fat little puss under that beaver."
"You are such an asshole," she moaned. But she didn't try to close her legs. She lay there passively and stared at him.
He grinned and gave her twat a playful smack, which made her jump and squeal a little. "Wow. Super sensitive. I like." He gave her another smack. She winced, but didn't squeal this time. "So what did Bill promise you if you did this?"
"Nothing . . ."
"Hey!" she protested.
"Don't lie to me," he said evenly. "I'm not an idiot!"
I'd have to see papers on that.
"I . . ."
"OK, he gave me money!" she finally confessed.
"What?" Tim asked, dumbfounded.
"He . . . gave me fifty bucks, if I shaved my bush and let him watch. OK? It's a little perverted, but after the SIX cars in the driveway when I got home today, I was feeling a little desperate, OK?"
"He gave you—" Smack! "Fifty bucks?"
Hmm. At this point she had made $600. Little Mary was holding out on him. Smart of her.
"He . . . he said it was what a haircut usually costs him," she improvised.
"Must be nice," Tim muttered. "And did he . . . touch you afterwards?"
"Just . . . just a finger," she lied.
"He put his finger inside me!" she said, bitterly. "OK? Happy? I needed some things that we didn't have money for, and I figured . . ."
"That's fine," Tim finally said, after continuing to study her shaved snatch. "I guess it's fine. If you did it for the money. Where is it?"
"In my purse," she said. "What's left of it. I needed gas for the Gremlin, and some other stuff."
"Great!" Tim said cheerfully. "I'm out of beer, too. This is really pretty, baby, and you're getting really wet . . . is it sensitive?"
"Uh . . . yeah," she said, stating the obvious.
"Good," he said, unzipping his fly.
"Tim, really, I know you want to . . . try it out," she said, hesitantly, "but it's still a little raw . . ."
"Oh, I'm not going to—" Smack! "—touch it. You are."
"I want you to jill off while you suck me," he said, smugly. "I want to feel you cum when I'm in your mouth."
"Tim, I really don't feel—" SMACK! "OK! OK! Jesus, just . . . leave it alone for a minute, OK?"
"Go ahead and kneel next to the bed," he encouraged her eagerly as his erect little pecker poked out from his jeans.
"I . . . OK," she said, resigned to it. She got off the bed and knelt in front of him. The angle wasn't the best – I could only see about a third of her face – but it was clear what she was doing. The folks at the website would love that. They'd been bugging me for more blowjob videos.
"Now play with yourself while you suck me off."
She obediently put her hand on her crotch which was, alas, concealed by the edge of the bed, and started sucking. Damned if she didn't start getting turned on.
I mean, it's hard to gauge a woman's emotions when she's giving head unless it's your dick in her mouth. But from my long experience with the way she moved when she was aroused, it was clear that her body, at least, was enjoying this. She came about three minutes into her blowjob, and Tim only lasted about another minute and a half. Hardly enough time to even jerk off to it. My website people would grumble.
But he wasn't done then – Timmy kept his woody. He made Mary lay back down on the bed so he could inspect her twat again, which she endured with stoic patience. Then he told her to flip over.
"I'm still horny," he whined. "I wanna fuck."
"I told you, it's still—"
"I'm not going to fuck your pussy," he said, patronizingly.
"Tim, not tonight," she complained. "I've had a bad day. Getting fucked up the ass isn't my ideal way to end it."
He shrugged. "If it was that bad, then a little light cornholing couldn't make it any worse." His logic was impeccable, in a porcine sort of way.
"Tim," she moaned. "Really, I just want to go to sleep!"
"I don't mind if you sleep, baby," he said. "I can fuck your ass while you sleep."
"The hell you can! Didn't you get enough?" she demanded.
"Apparently not! I can cum twice in a night. That's gotta be better than Dollar Bill," he added defensively.
"Actually, Bill could do three or four times a night," she said, airily.
"Great," Tim said, his mood turning darker. "Then twice a night shouldn't be a burden."
"Look, you shaved your bush for him. I just wanna feel my nuts bang against your bald box. Is that too much to ask?"
"Yes!" she said, near tears.
"So sad for you," he muttered. "Turn the fuck over."
"Don't make me say it again."
"Turn. The fuck. Over. I'm going to fuck you up the ass," he annunciated with relish.
"You are such a bastard," she said, tears pouring down her face.
"I don't see you turnin' over like a good li'l wife," he observed.
"I'm not your fucking wife!"
" 'Fiancé', then. C'mon, dammit, show me that big juicy ass of yours!"
She looked at him, astounded. " 'Big'?"