Beau et le Bete

"May I look through your music collection?" he asked, catching sight of the stack of discs.

"Sure," Marcus said, his tones still clipped.

Ethan took a healthy swig of the chilled wine. He was sure it would be a good quality wine, but he was so nervous he barely tasted it. He had an idea to get things moving and hoped it would work. He prayed silently for the music he wanted. With a silent sigh of relief he found something suitable. He put it to play and slow, soft music began to permeate the air. Turning to Marcus, Ethan held out a hand.

"Dance with me," he said quietly. He stood, arm outstretched for what felt like an eternity before Marcus slowly stood. "I can't move very well," Ethan added as Marcus stood beside him. "Just put your hands on my shoulders and sway. Close your eyes if you need to and just focus on the music."

Eyes closed, Marcus reached to lay his hands on thin shoulders. For a minute or two he stood immobile, feeling the slight sway of the other body. He remembered all the women he had danced with. That had been easy enough. Because you always knew you were safe. A voice mocked him. He thought of the dangers he had faced in his past. He refused to be afraid of a small, scrap of a man. Almost roughly he pulled Ethan closer and began to sway them both.

Awkwardly Marcus put his arms around Ethan as if he thought the smaller man might break. But the longer he held Ethan the more the awkwardness faded. He lost count of the songs and became distantly aware of the arms around his waist. He relaxed a little more, absently rubbing the thin back in slow circles.

It took a minute for each man to realise the music had stopped and they were still swaying together.

"Sorry, you must be stiff," Marcus said gruffly, releasing Ethan.

A silent sigh of regret was swallowed by Ethan. He had enjoyed the warm, strong, dependable arms wrapped around his shoulders, pressing him to the older man's broad, solid chest.

"Just give me a minute or two to rest my leg and I'll get going," Ethan said, keen to put some distance between them.

"Stay." The word was past Marcus' lips before he could censure it. "I'll buy take-out and call you a taxi later."

Warring emotions struggled in Ethan's breast. This was not a date, it was not going to lead anywhere except to Marcus moving out of his life, but if he refused the older man might never free himself of his insecurities. Ethan knew he would be the loser, no matter what he chose to do.

"Ok. Take-out works for me. But I have to be home early," he added.

"Sure," Marcus gave a flash of his smile. "I'll put another disc on. You can have your drink and check out the menus."

****

Ethan did not go back to Marcus' apartment for a couple of days and then they just repeated the dancing. He was pleased to see the older man was more comfortable with the closeness, although it took a couple of minutes again before he relaxed. However, it showed distinct promise.

The third time as they swayed together, Ethan felt it was time to up the ante.

"Maybe we could try a kiss?" he suggested.

"Kissing, Ethan?" Marcus asked, his tone reflecting his surprise. The bigger man's voice sounded strangled even to his own ears.

"Yes, kissing. You are familiar with the concept, aren't you?" Ethan smiled, trying to put the bigger man at ease. Marcus' anxious face was tantalisingly close and it took all Ethan's willpower not to give into temptation to make the first move. This had to be at Marcus' pace.

In truth, Marcus had been told on more occasions than he cared to remember how good he was at kissing. Yet each and every time had been an act, a sham, a deception designed to hide his true self. This time the kiss would take on a whole new significance. He would be making himself vulnerable, admitting that it was a man he wanted in his arms, in his bed. The idea sent a bolt of lust through his veins and he hid his shock as his cock began to swell. He shifted a little, turning his body so that Ethan would not be frightened off. He kept one arm around the younger man's shoulders and moved the other hand to the nape of Ethan's neck.

"You ready, Marcus?" Ethan asked, trying to relax the older man.

It took the younger man by surprise as Marcus leaned down, put his lips on his and kissed him. It was brief and over almost before Ethan had time to register it had happened. He blinked as the sight of the other man's mouth hovering mere millimetres from his, so close he was sure he could feel Marcus's breath on his lips.

There seemed to be a dazed look in Ethan's eyes and that gave Marcus a surge of confidence. He had succeeded in making Ethan speechless by his action. He bent to the task again. He lingered, exploring, keeping the kiss close-mouthed and gentle. Then his tongue slipped past his lips to acquaint itself with the outline of Ethan's mouth, the feel of his skin, the fullness of his bottom lip.

With a start Ethan came to the realisation that Marcus instinctively knew exactly how to vary the pressure to keep his nerves tingling. He pressed firmly with his mouth only to pull away again, just barely brushing his lips against Ethan's with soft, almost flirting, little touches. Ethan did not resist as he was manoeuvred to the settee and the two men sat.

He felt Marcus press him back against the sofa cushions gently, trying not to put too much of his weight on him as the kiss continued. The older man's tongue darted out and flicked questioningly along the seam of Ethan's lips. Without conscious thought, Ethan opened his mouth, tilting his head back to signal his submission and the slick organ surged forward. It explored Ethan's mouth with the same intensity that it had his lips and Ethan fought not to moan and melt into the amorous siege.

The two men parted and each looked anxiously at the other, both relaxing and smiling simultaneously.

"Well that went well," Ethan said, trying for flippancy. He could not allow himself to become any more attracted to the older man. He was not Marcus' lover. "I don't think you're going to have any problems, Marcus. You just needed the confidence."

"What are you saying?" Marcus asked, his face in a worried scowl.

"You had no problems kissing me," Ethan said patiently. "You've danced, talked, held my hand. I think you're going to be just fine."

"You can't leave me now," Marcus said, his voice anxious. "I'm not ready. I'm not."

"Ok, ok," Ethan soothed, his hand instinctively straying to Marcus' bare arm to stroke the muscles beneath the warm skin. "We can still do this. I just don't want to overstay my welcome."

"You won't," Marcus said, his voice tinged with relief. He leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Ethan's cheek. "I'll get us some wine. There's an international rugby game on in half an hour. I thought we could watch it."

"You said you didn't like rugby," Ethan said, his head cocking to one side as he regarded the now standing older man.

"You do," Marcus threw carelessly over his shoulder as he headed to his kitchen.

****

"What if my date wants to do more than kiss?" Marcus asked as he passed Ethan a glass of chilled wine. "I mean, I've seen naked men before but that's been in barracks or shower rooms. I've never...you know...been naked except in front of women."

"You'd need to feel comfortable enough to undress," Ethan said. He took a large gulp of the wine. The thought of a naked, erect Marcus made his mouth go dry and his cock twitch excitedly. "Just remember you do only what you're comfortable with."

"I'm not sure I could do it," Marcus said, shaking his head. "I'd feel so vulnerable."

"Do you want to try it with me?" Ethan whispered. He knew he was taking advantage of the older man's insecurities, but the notion that he could see Marcus was making his head spin with desire. Now the idea had been planted nothing less would do. "You know you can trust me. I'll go first."

Marcus did not answer. Ethan took the absence of refusal as an affirmative. He sat a little away from Marcus, hoping the small distance would help the older man feel he was safe. He eased the sweat shirt over his head and threw it over onto the smaller settee. He waited a few seconds and then began to unbutton his shirt. One-by-one he worked down the faded red flannel until the garment could be eased from his shoulders. It joined the sweat shirt and again Ethan waited.

He kicked off his shoes and bent to remove his socks. He risked a peek at Marcus from behind the veil of hair that now hid his face. The bigger man was leaning forward slightly, his eyes riveted in his direction and Ethan could see a thin sheen of perspiration on the older man's upper lip. Swallowing, Ethan raised his head, focusing his attention on his jeans. He unsnapped them and lowered the zipper. The metallic noise seemed excessively loud in the silence of the room. He then looked at Marcus. At the curt nod, he stood and allowed the denim to fall to the floor and carefully stepped free of it.

All he now wore were red, plaid boxers. He held his breath waiting to see how Marcus would react. His body was lean and a smattering of dark hair adorned his chest. Just beneath his navel, a treasure trail pointed the way towards his still covered crotch, but the bulge hinted at the prize hidden. He was aware that his right leg would look thinner and slightly twisted as well as having a myriad of silver lines from his operations.

Motion from the older man had him look at Marcus, rather than over the other man's shoulder. He felt his breathing quicken as the figure-hugging navy t-shirt was pulled off to reveal a smooth, sculptured chest. There was no hair, not even a slight dusting but two dusky-pink nipples with small areolae were erect and silently beckoning to be sucked. Ethan was enthralled as Marcus slowly stood, unbuckled his belt and began unbuttoning the chinos he wore. They slithered down his slim hips to reveal snug, black briefs. Ethan hoped he did not salivate visibly as the package still unrevealed indicated that it would be every bit as impressive as the man to whom it belonged.

"Boxers."

The single word from Marcus' lips startled Ethan from his desire-induced haze. He eased the material over his hips and let them fall to the floor. He was long and lean here, too, his uncut shaft revealing a burgundy-hued head emerging from his foreskin. His eyes riveted on Marcus' hands as the briefs were shoved down powerful thighs. The revealed flesh was longer and thicker as well as being circumcised. The organ was dark pink with a glistening, wine-red tip. It pointed proudly upwards and Ethan wanted to touch, to taste.

He shuddered as Marcus came to stand next to him, he could feel the heat pouring off the bigger body. He felt fingers caressing, tracing his face with light touches and a hand tangling in his hair, massaging his scalp. The older man then bent forward, biting at Ethan's throat, making it his territory. He worked his way down Ethan's throat and then back up again. The younger man tilted his head, offering the fragile flesh, silently ceding control and dominance, desperate for Marcus to touch him where he ached and throbbed. A soft sound from Marcus' throat was the only indication he had understood the submission and then Ethan was being pushed back onto the settee

Ethan closed his eyes, wanting to savour the sensations without distraction, to remember them in the lonely nights that would surely come. He resisted the temptation to moan as warm, moist breath moved over his chest, mapping the newly discovered topography of Ethan's naked flesh. Then there was a feather-light brush of fingers on his bare skin. It arced through him like a frisson of electricity. The digits skimmed down his chest and across his belly making it quiver. They came tantalising close to where Ethan most wanted them and then slowly worked their way back up again. This time a needy sound did force its way past Ethan's lips, but he was too immersed in sensation to care. The fingers teased around his nipples, moving over his skin in circles. His areolae were pebbled, his buds tight with anticipation and still the fingers remained flirting, getting close, but not quite touching.

A soft groan accompanied the fingers finally teasing his nipples, skimming over them very delicately. Then they began pinching them lightly, just enough, careful not to hurt. The erotic torment continued until both nipples were hard and aching. Only then did the hands move lower, they tugged at his treasure trail, played in the dark thatch that surrounded his sex and stroked up and down his trembling inner thighs. He managed not to cry aloud as a finger began tracing the vein down the length of his eager penis.

Aware that Marcus had moved closer, Ethan tilted his head and was rewarded with the older man's lips pressing against his. He parted them at an imperious lick and Marcus' tongue slipped inside. Ethan sucked on the slick invader and fingered Marcus' nipples gently. His dick throbbed dangerously as the bigger man growled deep in his chest. Strong fingers rolled and pinched his nipples and Ethan realised he was making sounds he had never heard before. A large hand encircled Ethan's shaft and began to explore him, moving up and down very gently. The kiss continued, deepening and Ethan was mindlessly thrusting into the stroking hand as a demanding tongue thrust rhythmically into his mouth.

Reaching for Marcus, Ethan touched him intimately for the first time. The flesh was hot and hard and as he moved his hand, the bigger man trembled. He began to increase his movement, guided by the pace of the hand on his own shaft. Part of him wanted it to go on forever as they kissed, caressed and stroked each other towards oblivion. Marcus tightened his grip on Ethan's dick, pulling harder, more insistently and Ethan bucked helplessly at the sudden onslaught. Desperately he ensured his own hand did not falter and then Marcus was coming. Ethan felt the hot, thick spray of come pulsing wetly against his skin. That tipped him over the edge, his semen mixing with that of the older man in a medley of seed that decorated his belly and chest.

As Ethan lay panting in the aftermath, he felt Marcus move away and the loss of the older man's heat left a cold, aching void for Ethan.

"Here," he opened his eyes to see a wash cloth and towel in Marcus' outstretched hands. The bigger man had wrapped a bath towel around his waist. "I'll just take a quick shower then the bathroom's yours. Your bedroom's made up so you can crash here."

Ethan stared after the retreating form. That he would stay had become an accepted part of their ritual. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Being Marcus' sexual guru was taking a heavy toll on him. He enjoyed what they did, way too much, and hated that it meant nothing to the older man. He gave a mental shrug. As the expression went; he had made his bed and now he had to lie in it, even if it was cold and lonely.

****

As the working day drew to a close Ethan was surprised to find Marcus leaving at the same time. The older man normally remaining behind after the staff had left.

"I wanted to thank you," Marcus said as he drew alongside Ethan. "For everything you did. You'll be pleased to know I'm going to be seeing someone."

The words were like knives in Ethan's heart, but he had always known this day would come. He forced himself to sound happy.

"That's great, Marcus. You deserve to be happy."

"Have a good weekend." Marcus accelerated from Ethan's side.

Ethan stopped and stared. The man Marcus headed for was big, buff, blond and beautiful. He saw Marcus glance almost furtively around and then peck a kiss to a bronzed, smooth cheek. Then they were gone. Ethan continued to stare for long minutes, unable to make his feet move. He should have said something. 'Then what? He would have laughed and still moved on. Deal with it.' Ethan's inner voice chivvied him along, but did nothing to alleviate the ache of the empty place in his heart. With a sigh he finally began to move.

****

"I'm not taking 'no' for an answer, Ethan," Darren said. "I've not seen you for weeks. You look like crap. Moping over him isn't going to change things. Either go after him or move on."

"Where do you want to go?" Ethan asked with a sigh.

"Let's go to The Club. We can eat, drown our sorrows, see who's with whom and then you can come back to my place and we can finish getting really drunk. You have two days to recover, that's the good thing about weekends."

Ethan gave a groan. He did not feel like drinking, or eating or going out. However, he knew Darren was right. He had not taken care of himself and he knew it had gone on long enough.

"Time to put up or shut up?" he asked, as he stood slowly. "Ok, let me get changed."

****

There was a good crowd in The Club as Ethan expected on a Friday night. He let Darren order food and they sat and ate in a companionable silence. As the plates were cleared away, Ethan gave a surprised gasp. The beautiful blond that Marcus was dating was at another table. However, it was not Marcus he was eating with. Ethan did not recognise the other, but it was evident by the closeness of the two men, and the frequent caresses of their fingers, that they were more than friends.

"Something wrong?" Darren asked, unable to look behind without being blatantly obvious.

"Marcus' boyfriend is here. But I don't see Marcus." Ethan could not believe what he was about to do, but he rose and moved to the couple's table. "Hi, sorry to interrupt you," he apologised with a self-depreciating smile. "I was wondering if Marcus Ellerman would be joining you later?"

"I had wondered the same," the blond replied. "I was surprised that he would come without you these past few weeks."

"Without me?" Ethan queried. "But I thought... excuse me, but I don't understand. Marcus said he was seeing someone. I saw him with you at the hospital. He kissed you and so I assumed it was you he was dating."

"That's what he told me, too, and I assumed it was you. He...lit up...when he spoke about you. We've known him for years and never seen him look so happy. And that kiss, that was the one and only he's ever given me in all the time we've known each other. I have to be honest. I wondered what it was about. Simon was waiting for me outside and Marcus was just walking me out. I'd told him I had an appointment that day. "

"Thanks," Ethan said. He moved back to join Darren.

"So that's his boyfriend. Very nice, he has good taste," Darren observed. He had turned to watch and was hoping for an explanation as to why the boyfriend was sitting cosily with another man.

"No. No he isn't," Ethan said. "He said he thought I was."

"What?" Darren asked perplexed. "He's told you he found someone so you don't see him anymore and he's intimating to others that you and he..."

"Darren, this isn't my world," Ethan said quietly. "But Marcus comes here regularly. I told him our encounter here was a one-off when I was angry with him. I never got to tell him that I could effectively come whenever I wanted because I have a sponsored membership. However I don't come alone, I tend to only come with you. These aren't men I keep company with. I believe Marcus thought he could safely intimate anything about me here because it would never get back to me. I don't move in these men's circles."

"Then why?"

"How else to save himself?" Ethan whispered. "I offered to be the one he could trust to let himself know what it was like to be loved by a man and I let him believe that all it was to me was casual sex."

"And you think he fell in love with you?" Darren asked.

"There had been something between us from the start," Ethan said thoughtfully. "But I never imagined he would ever want me. I wouldn't let myself. Part of me was sorry for him and part was wary of the selfish beast that everyone told me he was. I didn't dare let him think it was more."