Beauty and the Beast

"Sandy, you're exaggerating. Sure, he liked it—well—what we did; he's a guy for goodnesssakes. But, we don't know each other at all. He's not going to fall in love with me just because I let him have my ass. That would be stupid."

"Stupid? Of course it'd be stupid. He's a guy isn't he!" said Sandy.

"I don't know, Sandy. I guess it wouldn't hurt to set things straight with him. You know, kinda cut him off at the pass before it goes too far. But, how?"

"I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'; give me a minute, okay?" said Sandy. Belinda sagged back into the couch she'd been sitting in during the conversation.

"Yeah, well take two minutes. I'm desperate here. I mean the guy saved my life. I mean literally saved my life! Now, if you're right, I may have to ruin his dreams. No problem, right. I can just see how the conversation will go...

"Hey guy, you saved me. I'm so grateful that I let you do something you'd only dreamed about. Oh what's that, you ask? You're wondering what that is? Well, look here guy. See where I'm pointing? That's my pussy. You got to have it for a night, with no limits. Ain't you the luckiest ugly shit in the whole wide world!

"Yeah, girlfriend, he's gonna totally understand. Shit!" said Belinda.

"Look," said Sandy, "here's what we're going to do."

******

It was the same IHOP I'd taken her to two days past. I was more nervous than I had ever been. Jesus, I hoped I hadn't done anything to queer my relationship with her. I jumped when she came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Hi Oz. You look nice," she said. Well, I had dressed for the occasion. No mistakes, I didn't want to make no mistakes.

"Thanks, you look like a million bucks," I said. She smiled.

"Thanks," she said. I nodded.

"You wanna eat?" I said. It was already three in the afternoon, I figured it would only be coffee, but who knew? Maybe she'd wanna eat somethin'.

"No, no, nothing, thank you," she said. I had a bad feeling. Not even coffee? I had a really bad feeling. I took a sip of mine. She took a seat across from me.

"Oz, you became one of the most important people in my life a little more than a month ago. If you hadn't—well—been there, I wouldn't be here.

The other night, when we did—well—what we did, Oz, it was me rewarding you. I gave myself to a man who will always be a part of me. But, Oz, all it was, well, it was my gratitude to you for what you did. The chance you took. Oz, I am not in love with you. And, you're not in love with me. Heck, we hardly know each other.

I sat stock still while she spoke. I know my lips moved, well quivered, but no words came out; I had no words. I'd had the bad feeling that it was gonna be really bad; even worse than I thought, much worse. She was saying that she didn't want to see me no more. She was sayin' it without sayin' it. "Okay," I said. "I understand." She smiled and placed her hand on mine.

"Ozzie, the last thing I want to do is hurt you, disappoint you. I should have done things differently. I made a huge mistake..." she saw the look on my face and immediately tried to make me feel better. "No Oz, not that. I do not regret giving myself to you, and you were great. I meant that I should have let you know that I'm kinda, well, in a relationship."

I sagged back in my seat. "A relationship? But—I mean—we had sex. Your boyfriend..."

"Yes, I know, and I told him—afterwards—about it. Charlie Jensen's his name; well, he understood. He didn't even get mad at me; he understood. He and I—well—we're good.

"Oz, what we, you and I did, was kinda crazy. I do like you; hell, how could I not. But..."

"Yeah, I know. But, it's not the romantic kind of like," I said.

"I'm sorry, Oz. I really am."

"I know. Well, have a good life," I said. She nodded, rose, walked a few steps, turned, and mouthed me a kiss. Then she was gone.

I had never felt so low in my life. Did I regret making it with her? I think I did. Not sure why, but I didn't feel good about it, so I must've regretted it. Right?

Well, it wasn't all bad. I still had my health, a good job, and well...that was about it, I guess. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Why was I like I was? Why couldn't I even land a girlfriend? Fucking life! I hated it.

*******

"What's the matter, Oz. One day you're up, next day you're down. Talk to me, Oz. This is your 'ole buddy Amos speaking," he said. I just looked at him and took another swig from the glass in front of me.

"Nothin'," I said. He looked at me funny. I threw a ten spot down on the bar, got up, and left. I heard him say something as I walked out, but I wasn't listening. I was done with this shit. Done with everything. Fucking done with it. If a body's got nothin' and no one; then, what the hell is it all for?

******

"Were you able to see him?" said Sandy.

"Yes—well no. He's in a coma. Charlie went with me. He'll be here in a second; he's parking the car," said Belinda.

"A coma? Jesus, what was he thinking?" said Sandy.

"And he's busted up pretty bad," said Belinda.

"Why?"

"Because he thinks I dumped him. That or something like that. I don't know. He left a letter. They say suicides always leave a letter. It was addressed to me. Shit! What did I do, Sandy. What the fuck did I do?"

"Bell, you can't blame yourself. What you did was stupid, but not that stupid. There had to be things going on in the guy's head that you had no way to know about."

"Yeah, I guess. I mean obviously. But, what I did set him off. Pushed him over the edge. They can't let him die. They just can't. I called dad. He's retiring in a few months, but he's still at the Pentagon. He's made sure that Ozzie'd be getting the best help available. He'll get better; he has to," said Belinda.

"You speak to the doctors yet?" said Sandy.

"Yes, and so did Charlie," she said. "He says what you said, that he had to have had issues that just came to the surface all of a sudden. Probably didn't know it himself; he just did it—jumped."

"Wow."

"They promised to let me know if—when—he comes out of the coma."

"Bell?"

"What?"

"If—when—he comes to, are you really going to see him? I mean do you think that that would be wise given everything that's gone on so far?" said Sandy.

"Yes, maybe, I don't know. Maybe. What I want to do is kick his high school ass! But—well, I just don't know," said Belinda.

"You know, Bell, I didn't want to say it; but, well, I think that is exactly what you should do. Not physically of course. But, well, verbally. Be frank with him. Tell him like it is. Let him know that you will always be grateful, and more than grateful for him risking his life for you, but tell him he needs to grow up."

"Yes, I think you have a point. Yes, indeed, a very good point," said Belinda.

"Hey Sandy. Bell, where do you want this stuff?" said Charlie, as he shut the door behind himself.

******

A uniform? An army uniform. Hadn't seen one of those in a while, a long while. "Well, you're awake. It was touch and go for a while there," said the uniform. A major. What was a major doing in my cubby? Wait!

"Touch and go?" I said. "I'm not at Santoro's, am I?" I repeated. The uniform smiled.

"No, you're in Veteran's," he said. "Next time you try to off yourself you might want to do it from a floor or two higher up. The fact that you tried it from the third floor saved you—or not. Depending on your point of view I suppose."

"What are you saying?" I said.

"You don't remember trying to kill yourself? Three people saw you jump. You know, there are actually laws against attempted suicide?" he said.

"Suicide? What..." It was all coming back to me. Belinda—dumping me...the bar...Amos..."

"You were pretty liquored up. I figure that, and the fact that you were too lazy to try it from a little higher up saved you. But, as for that," he looked down at the chart he was holding, "a half dozen broken ribs, a punctured lung, broken arm and leg, subdural hematoma, a bunch of other stuff. Well, I guess I should be thanking you. Your act proved to my colleagues that I really can raise somebody from the dead.

"But, do me a favor will yuh. Next time you go for it, do it when I'm not on vacation. I'd really appreciate it," he said. "Oh, and in case you care, I'm your doctor, Major Clausen."

"How long...?" I said.

"You've been in a coma for the past three months. They called me a while ago when your vitals showed you might be coming out of it. I wanted to be here, so they called me. At any rate, you'll be released after we run a few more tests and make sure you're going to be okay.

"Most of your broken bones are healed, and the swelling of the brain is gone. But, I still have a few concerns, so you won't be moseying outta here right away. Could be another week or more. Any questions?" he said. I shook my head no.

"Oh, and one more thing, you will be seeing a psychologist. Believe it or not the D.A. requires it."

Shit! I'd tried to kill myself. And failed! Fucking wonderful!

The uniform left me to my thoughts. He was followed by a trio of nurses, one right after the other, to do whatever it was that made their day.

The food was bad, the care excellent, and the tests seemingly endless. And on the fourth day of my wakey-uppy I had a visitor.

******

"Hi Oz," said Belinda. "You feeling better?" She was looking around the hospital room, appraising it. I looked at her; my mouth was hanging open.

"Belinda!" I looked away. I knew she'd seen my letter. Problem was I was alive. I needed to be dead. I needed to be dead now! But, I wasn't. I was stinkin' alive! Fuckin' alive! I couldn't do anything right. Sure as hell not where women were concerned.

"Yes, it's me, Ozzie. And, I have to say I am very angry with you. And, before you say anything else, Oz, you have to promise me never to try something like this again. I've spent these last months hoping and praying that you'd get better. Now, it looks like you will. So, I guess my prayers have been answered. So, don't be messing with God, Oz. Promise me you'll do your damnedest to stay alive. Okay?" she said. I looked away again. I was so ashamed.

"Okay," I said, from under the coverlet. I wanted to say more. To say how beautiful she was. How much I loved her. But, I knew, I just knew that she didn't want to hear any of that. So, I just shut up and stayed covered up. Like a little kid, I pulled the sheet over my head to hide form her. I was sobbing under it. She was quiet for a moment or two. Talk about embarrassing and hurtful situations.

She came to me and pulled the cover from my hands; I was clearly too weak to do anything about it. She looked concerned, very concerned. "Oscar Church, you made me so mad. And, you made me feel so ashamed. And, Oz, you made me feel so special. But, Oz, I'm not in love with you. I treasure you as a friend. But, as a lifetime partner? Oz, I love another," she said. She was being earnest. "He's a good guy too, Oz. You'd like him. I know it.

"Oz, I know you think you love me. We girls, well, we know these things. We pretty ourselves up to make you men adore us, and when you do—sometimes—we go too far. I went too far Oz. I know that now. And, I will never forgive myself for making you do—well—what you did..."

"Belinda, please stop. Okay," I said, finally getting myself under control. She nodded, her turn to look away.

"Okay, Oz. I just..."

"Yeah, I know. Can I just—could you—you know just let me be for a while. I was stupid. I know it. I guess I've always been stupid. I just didn't know it before. I didn't mean to put pressure on you or anything, or hurt your feelings. I'm—I'm just, just an idiot okay. Just go on home, Belinda. Really, I need to be alone. By myself. Okay? Thank you for your concern. It's appreciated," I said.

"Oz—okay. I understand. Oh, and you are not stupid. Not hardly," she said. She touched me on my arm, turned, and walked out. She didn't look back; I was glad for that: I'd already proven I was pussy; I didn't need to be adding to the evidence.

******

"That man is the saddest man I've ever seen," said Belinda. "He was doing all he could do to not actually bawl in front of me and failing badly by the way. I had to get out of there before he actually broke loose. His humiliation, if I'd stayed in that hospital room to see him cry, would have been pretty much total. Jesus! What am I going to do?"

"Maybe stay the hell away from him?" said Sandy. "You know Charlie is getting a little bit tired of hearing you whine about him all of the time. Charlie's the love of your life, not Oscar Church."

"Yes, I know. I've not been fair to him either lately. It's just..."

"Yes, I know, you need to close the books on Oscar a little more neatly than you've so far been able to. But, Belinda, sometimes it just isn't in the cards. Sometimes folks get hurt, don't get everything they want or even need. It's the way of the world," said Sandy.

"I suppose," said Belinda. "But—but that man needs a woman. I still think that fixing him up with one would be a good thing. We could do it, you and I. I know we could."

"I'm not sure it would be a good idea to meddle anymore in the man's affairs, but it would have the benefit of getting Charlie to relax; that is, if we were successful," said Sandy.

"Belinda? It just so happens that I know someone who might just do."

"What? What did you say?" said Belinda.

"Wilma Crosley. She just broke up with her cheating asshole of a fiancé, Mark Dilfer. I know for a fact that she's looking for a replacement," said Sandy.

"Wilma? I know her too. But, she's so tall, and..." said Belinda.

"She's as tall as Ozzie. Or, maybe a couple of inches shorter. And, yes, I know she's no beauty queen. But, she could be made to look a lot better. I think she's got potential," said Sandy.

"Even if what you say is so, Sandy, are you sure she'd go for a guy like Ozzie?" said Belinda.

"Pretty sure. But, we'd have to get her up for it. She and I have been friends for a long time. I know she was very in love with Mark Dilfer, but he ran around on her, and she sent him off with a size ten suppository sticking out of his ass. She's hurting right now.

"Anyway, we'd just have to figure a way to get them together that doesn't look like we conspired to award him a consolation prize. That would not be good."

"No, not good. And, it would be very dangerous if he ever found out!" said Belinda. Her friend nodded.

******

"Yes, Charlie, I did go to see in in the hospital. How could I not. But, now I wish I hadn't," said Belinda.

"Charlie, he thinks he loves me. I told him about us, and he understands, but it's hard for him. He needs a woman, and he's decided that I'm the one he needs. I told him that that wasn't going to happen, that I love another, and while he believes me, and understands; he's just unable to accept it," said Belinda.

"Bell, you did what you could. Hell you did more than you should have. But, it's done and you, all if us, have to move on. Yes, and that means this Ozzie guy too. I'm grateful to him for saving you that night, but even for something like that there are limits to the gratitude thing, Belinda. You should've known that; you're no dummy. But, what you did was dumb. But, it's done and the water has long since passed under the bridge. "Come here."

She came to him and he wrapped his arms around his shoulders. "I need you tonight," he said. "I need you bad." She pushed back from him and smiled.

"You got me, big boy," she said. "I need you too." The kiss was long and hot and meaningful.

She felt him peel the thread thin straps from her shoulders. Her sundress pooled at her feet. His hand came to her still bra covered breast and played with it. They kissed again. He pulled her to the floor with him and rolled her on top of him.

"You're still dressed cowboy," she said, giggling. He smirked in obvious frustration at his own ineptitude.

"Yeah, well let me fix that right now," he said. It was another minute before the two of them were as naked as the day they were born.

He rolled her onto her tummy and pulled her butt up off of the floor, while at the same time pushing his knee between her legs to spread her open for him to fuck her. She helped by spreading her legs wide and inviting him to do his worst.

He aimed his cock expertly at her dripping cunt and slid in unopposed. He screwed her slowly savoring every inch of every stroke. It took him some little time to reach critical mass. She felt him shudder and felt the heat from his semen wash the insides of her vagina. She flattened out against the floor with him still on top of her breathing hard as his cock shrank from her. She hadn't cum, but he had pleasured her.

He rolled to his right and off of her. "Fucking wonderful," he said.

"Yes, it was good," she said. "I needed you to do that. I really needed it."

"Happy to have been of service," he said.

"Let's go to bed," she said. "It's late." He nodded.

He could smell the bacon from all of the way down the hall. Donning a dressing gown, he headed for the kitchen. He took a seat at the little kitchen table and watched her.

The conversation had gone on for some little time. Charlie shook his head dubiously. "I don't know Bell. Match making? And who are you going to match him with? I've seen the guy. I hate to say it, but he ain't no prize," said Charlie.

"Charlie, stop being an asshole. The guy saved me. Ain't nobody around here gonna be talking smack about him. Got it!" said Belinda.

"Children, children. Lighten up," said Sandy, who'd arrived for breakfast ten minutes earlier.

"Yeah, you're right, Bell. I got my big mouth open and my shoe stuck in it. I owe the guy too," said Charlie. He saved you, and killed the asswipe that..."

"Yeah, that raped me," said Belinda, starting to tear up.

"Look, Bell, I'm willing, like I said, to forget that you spread for the guy. I know you thought that you had to for him doing what he did. That you owed him something special. But, you were wrong to do it. I mean really wrong. I mean what other woman would even think of doing something like that. But, it's done and that's that. I can live with it, get over it, because of the circumstances. But, from now on I want to be in the know if you decide to do anymore of that shit.

"That said, Bell, as for finding him a woman, you are on very dangerous ground with that. Especially, since he damn near killed himself over you. I say stay away from any of that shit and let the man find his own chick. Someone more suited to him and to what he is and what he needs."

"He wouldn't know we were doing it, Charlie, having anything to do with it," said Sandy, butting in. "I've known a lot of guys like him. Women own him, and so they—men like him—are mostly held in contempt by the women they do try to hook up with. Women don't really cotton to men who act like pussies."

"She's right, Charlie. A woman wants to be respected, not worshipped, at least not all of the time. I'm thinking that the problem with Ozzie is that he doesn't know anything about women. We can't exactly give him lessons, but maybe we can find some broad who'd be willing to listen to a proposition," said Belinda.

"A proposition?" said Charlie.

******

******

"A blind date?" said Wilma.

"Hmm, yes, I guess that's kinda what it would be. The guy is ultimately shy, and he doesn't know..." started Sandy.

"What! You mean he doesn't know that he'd be going on a date with me!" said Wilma.

"Calm down, Wilma. "For godssakes calm down. It's not like that," said Sandy. Belinda watched the two of them go at it. They'd been there for but fifteen minutes, and already there was trouble in paradise.

"Whoa up everybody, just whoa up," said Belinda. "Wilma, the guy is ex-army. He's a catch—really. He even saved my life, as I know Sandy told you." Wilma looked back and forth between her two friends.