Because of the Night Ch. 07

"I'm sorry, since you left, I've become too lax with the Order." Began Sir Glen as he paced across the foot of the bed. His cane thumped along as he walked. Leif could tell that it was late for the man. -When did the venerable Sir Glen become susceptible to the humility of aging?-

"You shouldn't have come here. Tonight is for you and Laurie."

"Laurie understands." Again, the terse voice of authority flew from Sir Glen.

"Sir Glen, there was nothing you could have done to prevent this. I knew when I left if I returned as anything but a member of your Order, I would have to face their scorn. They're only human after all." Leif scooted out of bed and stood to face Sir Glen.

"And you put Taylor in danger." Though nearly extinguished now, the flame of fear in Sir Glen's eyes glowed.

"The Order knows she is still yours. They'd not have so much as breathed funny in her direction lest they catch your undue attention." Leif tried to reason with him, hoping to lessen the events of tonight.

"Maybe you're right, but that doesn't excuse ignoring the principals of community." Sir Glen sighed. "It is nearly time for me to pass the conclave on to another you know this. Loosing control of the Order is unacceptable. What will be next? The novices?"

"You must have thought this when I was in the Order Sir Glen. I know I tested your virtues beyond all reason."

Though Sir Glen chuckled and took a seat on the trunk at the foot of the bed, his cane still in hand he shook his head. "Not when a man longs for peace with what is his and his alone. I cannot have that as long as I control this conclave." He looked up to Leif, the bruises on his face inflamed in bright purple.

"You should know better than anyone Mr. Leif that it is better to leave when you are at your best, then to give only half of your heart to all that you command. It's not quitting Mr. Leif it is demanding a level of perfection." Sir Glen reasoned with Leif to remove the look of perplexity on the younger man's face.

Leif only nodded and sat on the trunk next to his friend. "Laurie will miss it. She is all she is because of this conclave and no other. And only this conclave became her home like no other before because you were the leader." His voice held steady, hoping that his immediate acceptance might help sway the pendulum of thought in the other direction: staying.

"You still flatter quite well Mr. Leif. But what we've spoken here of is not for anyone, including Laurie and Taylor."

"As you wish Sir Glen." The voice of the humbled apprentice returned.

"Tell me Mr. Leif, you've scened with Taylor, drunk in her limited expertise, what do you think of her?"

"She still has quite a way to go Sir Glen. I'm sure with time, her gifts will surface more easily. She approaches every challenge eagerly, that cannot be a bad trait."

-Spoken like a true Conclave Leader. I may have this boy finished yet.- Sir Glen spoke up while he was in thought. "No it is not. Do you enjoy her company?"

"I would be lying to say if I didn't." The sheepish grin spoke more of their camaraderie as companions than anything else. They shared pleasures beyond what Mr. Leif provided for Taylor. And it had been clearer tonight than any other night previously.

"Very well, I am going to return to Laurie. Taylor will return to you in the morning." Sir Glen stood and left the room, leaving Leif to sit and wonder what might be going through the man's mind.

Alone now for the first time since had returned, Leif looked about lost, finding himself lost.

-Why do I always seem to find myself back in this predicament?- he wondered with a sigh.

Already his aches were stiffing calling him back to bed.

-If Taylor would only return tonight...- he pushed the thought out of his head. She wouldn't return tonight, Sir Glen's word was law in this conclave and by all he deemed honorable, he would abide by it. She would return to his side in the morning.

But the eerie quiet of his room was disturbing. He had never been alone ever in this conclave. First as a member of the Order, he slept in an open hall with the twenty other men who had been a part of the Order when he first came. Then as a companion novice, he accompanied the guests to their rooms, seeing to their needs, often never leaving their side as Sir Glen ordered him. And now, the prodigal returnee had received the gift of the only free companion in Sir Glen's care.

But tonight, they would sleep separately.

Alone.

The word reverberated in his rooms in the dark shadows reminding him of just how afraid he was to be in this state. Nothing good had ever happened to him when he was alone. Certainly nothing amazingly good happened to him when he was in the company of others, but that was mostly his own fault.

-No, she has the comfort of the novices.- Though the thought had intended to comfort him, Leif was immediately jealous of her peers. Here, denied peers, neither Sir Glen's equal, nor a member of the Order, only Taylor provided company. He brutishly shoved aside his self-pity and climbed into bed, stripping his clothes away carelessly, then folding them before dropping them on the floor.

With a rye smile he humored his frustration. -Some habits die hard.-

A vision of Taylor bound, blindfolded and gagged by him in the dungeons flirted with his mind. How amazing that evening had been, even with Laurie and Sir Glen in attendance. Taylor was truly an accomplishment for Sir Glen. Curiosity and willingness filled her to the core, and Leif had to respect that. No that was wrong, it wasn't respect: he coveted the untamed soul within Taylor.

The desire for company was driving Leif wild. He turned onto his side: a mistake. Taylor's form was not there floating the reminder that he was alone tonight. He gritted his teeth. It was only a few hours before morning. He could sleep them away, and Taylor would fly back into his arms, and the self-inflicted disparaging would have proven needless.

He groaned needlessly trying figure out what it was about Taylor that made him so dependant. He had been alone for those five years since he left the conclave. He hadn't even looked back once.

-And what does she think she is doing by trying to bind herself to me?- He was annoyed with the notion. He wasn't even a real companion yet, certain of himself never to be. He had nothing to give her. No place to call his own. He barely owned the shirt on his back.

Only when Leif had found himself stripped of every ounce of hope, did he return to Sir Glen. Sir Glen had not even given a second though to taking him back in.

-And I am eternally grateful for Sir Glen's generosity.- he reminded himself. He certainly was not going to go behind the man's back and just take the only free companion left under Sir Glen's care, even if it did seem to be her idea.

He reminded himself that only a few hours remained until Taylor would return to his side and he allowed his eyes to close. He had endured five years. He could wait a few hours.