Becoming a BBW

"Andrea, we'll start by interviewing you. You read the script. Remember, it's less important to get the words exactly right as it is to keep things flowing. OK?"

"OK," she said.

"All right, everyone let's get into position. On my count, now: ... three, two, one. Action!"

Todd stood off camera and "interviewed" Andrea, who was seated on the sofa. He asked her name ("Misty" was what she had chosen as her stage name), her height (5' 3"), and how much she weighed (250 lbs.); establishing, no doubt, her BBW credentials. Andrea was clearly not a professional actress but that made her answers fresh, believable, although she was just the slightest bit stiff on camera. But then it was, after all, an "amateur" site.

Todd asked her about her sex life and she described her preference for various acts ("I like it doggy style" and "I love giving head" and "Yes, I swallow"). As she was speaking, Andrea's right hand started fondling her breast. Apparently part of the script, Todd mentioned noticing this and asking if she needed some "help," entered the shot, and sat next to her and started feeling her boobs. Just like that, the sex scene unfolded in front of me.

Todd and Andrea were passionately French kissing as he caressed her big tits and ran his hand between her legs. Todd freed one of Andrea's boobs from the gown and began to suck on it. Andrea watched him and rather absent-mindedly stroked his head as he sucked the nipple and kissed her breast.

"Wow! These are amazing!" Todd said rather convincingly.

Andrea, loosening up now, giggled. Todd got her to stand up and lift off her dress. She had on a pair of red, lace panties. Her belly was big and her thighs wrinkly. She had soft folds of flesh all over her. Todd was busy feeling her up while Andrea stood there watching him. Todd had her bend over showing her butt to the camera; Chris moved a little closer.

Todd slowly took off Andrea's panties saying, "Look at that butt! OK, Misty, let's see what you've got here."

Todd pulled one of Andrea's ass cheeks aside to reveal her pink slit and her brown asshole for the viewer. I noticed that, when bent over, Andrea's skin was smooth and very lovely, very sexy despite her size. They had undoubtedly learned how to show large women at just the right angles, emphasizing their best features. He stroked her bottom and inserted a finger into her pussy. Andrea was moist. She turned to face Todd as he began to get undressed.

"Cut!" Eric said.

"Cut?" I thought. They were just getting into it! To save editing time, I learned later, the director cut out anything not likely to be appealing to the male viewer, such as the male actor taking off his clothes. Quickly undressing, Todd was in an obvious state of arousal. The boom mike was shifted and everything made ready. It was then that I noticed Marsha had undressed as well. Was she going to participate in the scene?

"OK, Andrea, start giving Todd a blow job and we'll zoom in on that. Keep sucking him and licking until I tell you to stop."

Andrea nodded and, seating herself on the sofa, bent down taking Todd's erection into her mouth.

"Action!" Eric cried, and the camera started picking up the activity.

Eric watched everything on the monitor. Terry was ready with the microphone while Chris got in close to pick up Andrea's performance.

She had cupped Todd's balls with one hand while stroking the shaft with the other. She initially circled the cockhead with her tongue and then started sucking it up and down. Andrea made slurping sounds as she gave Todd what looked to be really good head. They kept this up for about five minutes when Eric said, as the sound was turned off, "Andrea, get on your knees on the sofa."

Andrea brushed her hair from her face while positioning herself on the sofa facing right with her ass turned toward the camera. Looking obviously at the director, she got ready to receive Todd's hard penis. While the camera was focused on her, Todd had put on a condom.

Then Eric said, "OK, Todd: insert."

Todd then put his cock into her pussy and started fucking her, making sure to keep his right hand out of the shot. Chris filmed them for a few minutes from ten feet away and then moved in for a close up. Andrea looked as if she wasn't sure what she should do. The focus at the moment, however, was on her ass, pussy, and Todd's cock so it didn't matter. Chris was inches, now, from Andrea's cunt while Todd kept fucking her.

Eric then said, "Chris, get Andrea's face, then her tits. Andrea, look like you love it; moan softly, not too heavy."

Andrea started to breathe harder and emitted some moaning as Chris focused on her face, then her swinging breasts and back to her face. I noticed Todd looking over at Marsha who had seated herself with her legs on the arms of a chair and was masturbating. I was a little surprised to see that, even though sex was the point of the assemblage. I found out later that Marsha's little performance was designed to keep Todd erect. I hadn't thought about the difficulty of fucking so mechanically. The sight of Marsha fingering her pussy was designed to keep Todd "in the game," so to speak.

Marsha also took care of things directly when necessary. After 15 more minutes of fucking with Chris filming from all angles, Todd's ardor began to flag. Seeing this, Eric called for a halt in the action and signaled for Marsha. Marsha walked into the scene as Todd withdrew his drooping member, and very matter-of-factly began to give him a blow job through the condom.

Todd stiffened quickly as a result of Marsha's ministrations and the filming resumed. Eric had explained later that having Marsha do the "fluffing" (sucking the male actor into an erection), and not Andrea, kept the action flowing without a break. The climax came as Andrea knelt in front of Todd, sans rubber, who then masturbated onto her breasts.

Andrea dutifully rubbed the semen into her boobs as Todd complimented her on her performance ("You were so hot!"), asked if she enjoyed herself, ("I really did!") and inquired if she would like to come back again ("Sure, you bet!") as the scene ended and Eric called for a wrap.

Marsha, by now dressed, handed Andrea a towel. Eric kissed Andrea's cheek and assured her she did very well and complimented everyone all around. Andrea picked up her clothes and walked quickly to the bathroom to shower, followed by Todd.

I told Eric as they packed up the set that I found the experience interesting but ... well, a little pedestrian; almost underwhelming.

"Yeah," he said, "it's about illusion. Being a film editor certainly teaches you that."

After seeing it I could understand it better, but until that day, I was as susceptible as anyone to the finished product. The resulting video would have been edited into a seamless whole. It wasn't like the herky-jerky reality I had just witnessed.

My respect for Todd and the other male performers increased after seeing that. The "star," Andrea, was completely passive by comparison. After all, she did not need to be aroused in the least, just properly and effectively lubricated. I thought to myself, "I can do that," and just as quickly "But would I really want to?" It was in some respects flat and workmanlike, not very arousing. I could see why Marsha was so essential to the process. I stayed around to talk with everyone about what each of them did.

As I was leaving, David stopped what he was doing, came over to me, and said, "It was nice meeting you, Celia," as he gently and shyly pressed my hand and touched my shoulder. I liked David.

For the rest of the day, I thought about all I had seen. It occurred to me rather forcefully that I had been on a real porn shoot! What impressed me the most was how lovely Andrea looked having sex; how they had positioned her in ways that captured her at her best. Andrea, though conventionally "fat," was very appealing, very sensual. That mostly mechanical process had made her so.

The finished product would be just like the videos on the Web site: faster moving and salacious, designed to assist male masturbation but, for me, it did something else. It made fat girls appealing. I thought then that it could even make me appealing in a way that did not degrade or abuse me, despite what most people believe about pornography. That night I made my decision: I would screw in front of the camera for Eric and the rest of them. I would become a BBW.

"I can't tell you how glad I am," Eric said when I called him on a Thursday and asked when I could start. "Let's see ... Can you be ready a week from this Sunday?"

Since I was just getting over my period, I said that I could. I asked him what I needed to do to get ready. What he told me was interesting. I should first of all wear clothing that was loose fitting, perhaps sweat pants and a roomy sweat shirt and no underwear. The reason was that I could put lingerie on there at the set and keep the clothing from making indents in my skin, the kind we all get from wearing anything that fits snugly. (It takes about an hour for the marks to go away, he said.) Marsha would see to the makeup and trim my pubic hair. I told him that after seeing the girls on the site, I thought I would get a Brazilian wax. He wholeheartedly agreed.

"Bald pussy is definitely 'in' right now," he said.

I couldn't believe I was discussing something so intimate with him so matter-of-factly. I also couldn't believe I was going to have sex not only in front of other people but on film! (I hoped my father was not a fan of BBWs.)

Eric said I should take a warm bath in scented water to relax me and to make sure I was clean smelling everywhere. The male performer was going to be exploring my nether regions pretty intimately and very closely. I would be required to perform fellatio and be penetrated in a variety of positions.

It would be filmed in the bedroom of the same house. We would start with an interview. He asked me what name I would like to use. I hadn't thought about that.

"Uh ... how about ... Shauna?" I said, using the first exotic name that came to mind.

"Great," he said. "Shauna it is."

He mailed me the rough outline of a script with scene details and some pointers about knowing where the camera was and the importance of showing the erect penis in my mouth and my vagina. He cautioned me against phony moans: those were definitely out and I should practice being realistic before the shoot. I ended up employing my faithful "rabbit" dildo to get the right feel in order to deliver the appropriate reaction.

At work for the entire week before the shoot I would suddenly flush, thinking about Sunday.

"Are you feeling all right?" Tammy asked me.

"Yeah, I'm OK."

"Well, you just turned red in the face. Are you coming down with something?"

She felt my forehead. No, I wanted to say, I'm going down on someone and he's coming on me.

"Really, I'm all right." And blushed again.

"Maybe you should sit down." Good idea, I thought. I went in to the back room and busied myself checking some inventory.

"Oh, wow," I said to myself, "should I really go through with this?"

Then I thought about how much more interested I was in sex now and about how nice the crew and actors seemed. I'd had my first good sex little more than three weeks ago. I liked being wanted and desired. It was new for me; I wasn't so used to it that I took it for granted. I wanted that feeling again, no matter what the reason. I knew that despite some misgivings, I would show up on Sunday and perform.

On Sunday morning, I woke up early. Since I didn't have to be there until 10:00, I sat at my kitchen table and read the script and the scene summary over and over. I laid out my gray sweat pants and pink hooded sweat shirt. I would wear my sunglasses going in and out of the house. I even considered renting a car so no one would see my license plates. I took a leisurely bath; as leisurely as possible with my heart pounding through my rib cage. I made sure to wash myself completely and put on deodorant and powdered myself lightly.

I had gotten a wax the day before. "Your boyfriend asked you to do it, right," said the gum-snapping attendant at the hair removal salon.

I didn't want to say, "No, I'm just preparing for my first porn film," so I said, "Yeah, he said it tickles his nose."

I thought that it was an outrageous thing to say to a stranger but the girl just shrugged her shoulders and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, mine, too."

Ohh-kay. Tainted screen, here I come.

Having arrived with my hood up and sunglasses on in an all-too-obvious attempt at being clandestine, I must have looked really silly. I knocked softly on the door while nervously looking around. Terry came to the door.

"Hi, Celia! Big day!" he said, without a trace of irony.

Jeepers! Not so loud, I thought.

"Yeah," I said as I slunk through the doorway. "I guess so."

Terry said, "You look great. Go right into the first bedroom on the left. Marsha's in there with the makeup and costume."

When I walked in on the set and saw everyone working away I suddenly realized that the finished product of this group of busy people depended an awful lot on me. I started feeling, well, important; not important in an exaggerated, egotistical way but more a feeling of responsibility for making this film and all the people working on it a success.

OK, it wasn't Shakespeare or "Gone with the Wind" and it wasn't even going to be a porn classic like "Deep Throat," but it was a film nonetheless and people were depending on me. I was determined not to let them down.

And it was all for me. I was literally going to be "center stage" though not in any way I could have anticipated, but the center of attention nonetheless. I was going to be prized for my physical self. That had never happened before. People who liked or loved me did so despite my size. Here, I was being "loved," or at least desired, for my size.

"Hi, Celia. Sit over here. You can take off the sunglasses," Marsha said. "Or should I call you 'Shauna?'" she smirked.

Seeing the worried look on my face she said, "Relax, you're going to do fine. You're really cute and the guys are good at this. Did you bring some lubricant? I have some if you need it. Most of the girls bring their own."

I had, actually.

"OK," she said. "I'll tell you when to put it in and how much to use. I'll wipe up any excess before you go on."

She was like a mother hen. She really took charge, which was exactly what I needed at that moment.

"All right, get out of those clothes."

I slipped off my shoes and stripped, dropping the pants first and then doffing the sweat shirt.

"Did you shave just for this or are you always hairless down there?" she said as she brushed makeup onto my forehead and cheeks.

I told her about the waxing. "Smart," she said, "saves you from razor burn."

Marsha certainly knew her stuff. She accentuated my eyes in way that made me look sexier without looking like a trollop. (Though in the back of my mind I thought I might yet be one step removed from prostitution and a jail cell.) Eric stuck his head in the doorway.

"You look beautiful, Celia. Are you nervous? Don't be; you'll do great."

Thanks; just what I needed to hear.

"Oh, you're working with Mike today. We start shooting in 15 minutes."

Marsha helped me lubricate. I thought I might get wet but you can never count on it, I'm told. I was surprised at how unselfconscious I was about letting a woman stick KY jelly up my vagina as I sat on the edge of a bed. I was given a black thong to wear.

Marsha helped me put on an electric blue gown with obligatory spaghetti straps. (All the girls on the site who were "interviewed" wore them; the "team" had them available in a variety of colors.) It fit OK. I was ready. I took a deep breath and walked into the next bedroom. I thought to myself, "This is going to be only my second fuck and it's going to be in a porn movie. How strange life can be."

"Action!" Eric called.

Mike spoke as the camera rolled and the microphone moved into position, "Hi, what's your name?"

"Shauna."

"Hi, Shauna. What brings you here today?"

"I'm here to audition for sexiestbbws.com."

"Great. Well, you certainly look gorgeous today," he replied.

"Thank you." I was seated on the end of the bed with my hands folded in my lap. The lights were on and crew were standing around concentrating on what they were assigned to do. It was really happening!

"I just want to ask you a few questions to start. How old are you?"

"I'm twenty-five."

"How tall are you?"

"I'm five feet, five inches."

"And how much do you weigh?"

"Oh, around 235; give or take a few pounds." I couldn't believe I was saying this on camera.

"Well, from what I can see all of it is sexy; very sexy."

"Thank you."

"So, would you describe yourself as sexual?"

"Yes, I love sex."

"What is your favorite way to have sex?"

"I like getting it from behind. (In reality, I had yet to experience that.) And I like to give blow jobs."

"Really; you like giving head?"

"Yes, and I'm told I'm very good at it."

"Do you swallow?"

"I love to swallow." I started playing with the strap of my gown and let it "slip" down revealing my aureole and nipple.

"It looks like you're having trouble with your gown. Can I help?" Mike said as he sat next to me.

I smiled at him and he kissed my lips while he held my breast in his hand. It was cold but I resisted the impulse to pull away.

"Umm, that feels nice," I said, cooing as best I could.

Mike kissed my neck as I reached down to feel his cock through his pants. Then I took down the straps of the dress and held my big tits in my hands. Mike started sucking first on one, then the other. It felt so nice. I thought, "I could really get into this." Mike stood up and I unzipped his pants. I reached into his underwear and took out his fairly large erection.

"Is this for me?" I said, coquettishly.

And I put it into my mouth. He was rock hard as I began to suck his prick lovingly with long strokes of my mouth and hand. "Ooh," he said, which I took as a compliment and continued the blow job. The lights were shining so as to obscure everyone else in the room but I resisted looking over at the director.

"Cut!" Eric said.

Mike hurried out of his clothes as Eric said, "You're doing great, Celia. You're a natural. OK, are we ready?"

Mike nodded and put his cock back in my mouth. I sucked him vigorously and with my off hand stroked him up and down his belly and chest. He thoughtfully pulled my long hair back so as not to obscure the fellatio. After a few more minutes of this, Mike pulled away, helped me to my feet, and took off my dress. I stood there in the black thong as he kissed and caressed me all over. I tossed my head back to show I was enjoying it (I really was) and he turned me around with my back to the camera.

"Let's see what you have back here, Shauna."

I bent over and he removed the thong. I stepped cleanly out of it and Mike spread my ass cheeks.

"That pussy really looks good." He fingered my vagina and ran his finger around the rim of my anus. "Your ass is incredible!"

I giggled in accordance with the script as Mike gently turned me around and laid me on the bed. I spread my legs and started rubbing my now-bald pubic mound. I moved my fingers through the lips and into the cunt. Mike was kissing and sucking my tits. He started working his way down to my pussy and positioned himself to the side and pulling my big belly up began to flick his tongue over my clitoris. I started moaning audibly but softly, conscious of not overacting.

Chris shot the scene from many different angles, finally concentrating on my face while Mike put a rubber on his cock. Finally Mike positioned me on my elbows and knees facing right with my bottom one-quarter turned toward the camera and penetrated me with his erection. This was a new position for me and I have to say I enjoyed his thrusting. I really was getting wet.