Becoming a Cocksucker: A Journeybysilkstockingslover©
Becoming a Cocksucker: A Journey
Summary: Man's journey from straight & married to loving cock sucking
Note 1: Although unorthodox, this is a 2017 Valentine's Day Contest. No it's not a love story between a man and a woman, a woman and a woman or even a man and a man... it's a love story of a man and the discovery of his love for cock. No hearts and flowers and cutesy cards, just destiny.
Note 2: Thanks to Tex Beethoven, goamz86, Robert, Hfernandez1983, and Wayne for editing.
Note 3: The story was inspired by many fans who have requested such a story, the Literotica forum and these lit posters: Mr. Briggs, susurrus, badonkadoku, Malcis, mt1313, Andronikus and lickable1967
Becoming a Cocksucker: A Journey
1: MY WIFE WAS GOING THROUGH MENOPAUSE
My sex life had seen diminishing returns ever since she'd said 'I do'... before we were married we were shagging each other like rabbits, but afterwards it seemed like the thrill of the chase was gone, and then once we had kids her days (and middles of the nights) were focused on their care and her sex drive diminished. Then when she returned to work, she had to concentrate her daily hours of motherly care into what seemed like minutes it diminished more, and when menopause hit early it really crashed. ("Darling, could you scoot over? I'm having another hot flash and when you're this close it's just unbearable.") From having oral sex or full sex almost every day before we were married, to a couple times a week, to once a week, to once a month and now? Well, I couldn't remember the last time she'd given me a blow job, and sex was maybe every three months. Or so. On the occasions when she remembered that's what couples did.
2. I WAS HAVING MY OWN MID-LIFE CRISIS
Truthfully, the effects on me culminated with my wife's menopause. I wanted more sex and I wanted her to see me as desirable. I figured that by losing my slight beer gut, dressing better and being more romantic... I would rekindle a flame in our marriage... but I didn't make any progress. For every good thing I did, I found an accidental way to annoy her. ("You want to kiss me after doing THAT?!") Thus, instead of rediscovering romance and passion with my wife, I found myself constantly just trying to get out of the doghouse. This was playing hell with my self-image, and when you don't love yourself...
3. I STARTED READING ONLINE PORN
Although I'd always enjoyed porn, now it was hard to find opportunities to watch it with three kids and a wife, all with functional ears, in the house. Erotic literature, on the other hand, was a sly way to get my porn secretly. I found quiet times when I could read a variety of themes including: lesbian, gangbang, incest, and interracial. Yet, as I read more and more, especially from writers I really liked, I would read everything they wrote including gay stories... which although I wasn't gay, nor was I originally even curious, did draw me in in a much different way.
4. I DISCOVERED COCKS FASCINATED ME
This led to my noticing the many different sizes, shapes and colours of cocks... each seeming to be like a snowflake... no two ever the same... while I found most vaginas looked the same and all were an enigma to me.
I never looked at gay videos, but I did read gay stories and when I did watch gal and guy porn I spent as much time checking out the guy's cock as I did the chick's tits, ass and legs... although I still ignored the pussy most of the time.
This led to me mostly watching blow job scenes where I became fascinated at watching the cock slide in and out of the girl's mouth. I noticed how the cock pulsed in a woman's hand or mouth just before it erupted. I stared as cum shot out and splattered someone's pretty face.
Ironically, I couldn't tell you what the guy's face or bod looked like... guys didn't turn me on at all... I wasn't gay... I loved women, I loved my wife. But... I was discovering I also loved the beauty of a cock.
I liked the variety of lengths. While the average cock size when erect was 5.1 inches (yes, don't ask me why but I actually did look that up), they really did come in all sizes. Some were porn star long, some were little boy small and then there fell (or rose) the majority, that ranged within the ends of the spectrum. And although I had a five and a half inch cock, just above average, I was somehow getting obsessed with bigger cocks. I mean the horse cocks in porn seemed a bit extreme, but a good seven plus inches had me intrigued and envious. To the point I wondered if having a couple extra inches would have helped my sex life (this came to a head one evening when my wife and I were out with friends; the alcohol was flowing freely and at one point my wife agreed rather loudly with one of her girlfriends that yes, size mattered... a lot... and yes, her ex had had a huge cock... and had even used her hands to show the damn guy's extensive length to our friends). Alas, in one night I had developed a size complex. Ever since that night, whenever I read erotica, watched porn or examined cock pictures I focused on cocks from 7-9 inches in length.
Although this varied less extremely than length, a cock's girth became incredibly important to me. A woman's vagina was only so deep, and the majority of her erogenous stimulants were on the outside or in the first couple of inches inside... but enormous variety could be found in how wide a cock could stretch a pussy. Not surprisingly, the same intriguing variety could be found when someone was sucking a dick and it was spreading their mouth as wide as possible.
One thing I noticed in porn once I started focusing on the cock was that almost every man's cock was shaved. This seemed to really enhance the size of the cock, making it stand out prominently. I had considered shaving my cock, but worried what I would say when my wife questioned why I'd done that. Yet, without a doubt, a cock was even more beautiful when shaved completely free of pubic hair.
While I couldn't tell the difference between a dozen pussies, I found that each and every cock had a variety of distinct markers (besides length and girth). The majority were reasonably straight, yet some had a distinct curve (mostly up, occasionally down or to the side). I wondered if an upward curve would enhance the possibility of stimulating a woman's g-spot or perhaps anally hitting a man's prostate (although I had no personal interest in anal sex).
CIRCUMCISED VS UNCIRCUMSISED:
This next demonstrates how far I was travelling from my 'I'm as straight as an arrow' posture, yet ironically I was still clueless about how much my inclinations were changing. Although I was circumcised and in all my fantasies the cock before me was circumcised, I'd be lying if I told you the thought of serving an uncircumcised one didn't appeal to me too. The reality was that an uncut one was more sensitive for the man and would offer a completely different cock sucking experience to the other man... I mean to the woman... I mean... oh hell, I don't know... that said (whatever I just said), I figured that if I ever did suck cock I would start with a circumcised one before shifting to the more complex experience.
Although I'd never paid attention to the balls, and never had mine pleasured, when watching porn and seeing a shaved ball sack,I became intrigued by the erogenous zone that my wife and prior partners had always ignored. Like the diversity of cock, the balls were another complex addition to the fascination of a man's nether region.
Of course, unlike pussy which is always pink, cocks come in different colours. There is the legendary and powerful beauty of a black cock (the ultimate taboo being a white man sucking a black cock), as well as the dark skinned cocks of various Indian groups, but even as features of white men the cock could be any of a wide variety of shades of colour... making each one even more unique... the emergence of each cock into view was like unwrapping an unpredictable new present for the first time.
Although I hadn't tasted cum yet, which I was sure would have a variety of tastes (as pussy could), I was even fascinated by the visual ways that cum exiting the cock varied. It could shoot out like a cannon in big gobs, or it could ooze out like lazy toothpaste from a tube... and of course every variable between. The first rope could shoot out in a thin stream, there could be three (or even up to eight) ropes exploding out, and even the colour of the cum varied somewhat to the discerning eye.
Again I want to stress I wasn't gay. Nor did I have any intention of doing more than being voyeuristically fascinated and slightly curious about what it would be like to suck a cock... But, of course, once a dangerous idea is planted in your subconscious it's impossible to erase or ignore... and as I learned, the curiosity slowly evolves into fascination, and eventually it unfolds into desire.
5. WE GOT NEW NEIGHBOURS
While I was engaged in my mid-life crisis, exacerbated by my wife's menopause, and complicated by my new fascination with cock, new neighbours arrived across the street.
They were quite a bit younger than we were and newly married. But although we'd spent dissimilar numbers of years on the planet, we men hit it off right away... mostly because we both cheered for the same football team and we both brewed our own homemade beer (men have only a few interests so when you find another guy who shares two of yours you latch onto them).
My wife (Sandra) and his wife (Andrea) also hit it off as they were both English teachers and Andrea had already gotten a job at Sandra's school, and thus we four had tons in common even with a double-decade age gap (Both Sandra and I were 42, while Andrea was 21, Mike 22)... and although my wife was still pretty, Andrea was a complete knockout (red hair, green eyes and from Ireland... her accent alone got me hard, as did her huge tits, that seemed crazily disproportionate on her tiny 4'9" frame).
Thus, that summer (they moved in in late June) we had barbeques together, a couple of dinner parties, a games night, and we even went to a Broadway show together. We'd agreed to take a trip to Vegas in November.
Of course I drooled over Andrea in a bikini, which she wore all summer; I also couldn't help but notice that Mike seemed very well-endowed in his very tight trunks. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious what his cock looked like (although no more curious than I was about seeing Andrea's tits... I was an equal opportunist pervert at least).
Until now... my obsession with cock, the fantasy of perhaps one day sucking cock, had been based on pictures of cock, videos of cock and reading stories about cock... but now I was suddenly fascinated by a real cock: an 'up close and personal' cock, so to speak.
This led to a more in-depth research about my feelings... feelings I needed to keep carefully in check as I sure as hell didn't want to sabotage my newfound friendship (at my age finding new male friends who are not co-workers is rather difficult).
6. I DISCOVERED A FORUM ON LITEROTICA CALLED 'The Straight Guys that Fantasize about Cock Club! Part 2'
My favorite erotica site is Literotica, and I was browsing the site one day, often enjoying skimming but never responding to forums like:
'Pretty Girls With Cocks' (the she-male idea also intriguing, although somehow that felt more like cheating than perving on a guy),
'"Go To" Video Clips' (which is where I often went to discover new clips, especially before my newfound cock obsession),
'Moms and Daughters 2016' (I mean who isn't turned on by the idea of a daughter dominating her mother sexually?!?!?),
'Getting Covered in Cum' (I've always found girls coated in cum to be super-hot... even though now I was wondering what it would be like to get coated in a few loads of cum myself),
'The New and Naughtier Incest Thread' (although I would never commit incest myself, the taboo aspect of it is incredibly hot).
And then I found 'The Straight Guys that Fantasize about Cock Club! Part 2'.
My cock hardened just at the title.
I clicked on it and read the purpose of the thread:
"The Men who Crave Cock but aren't attracted to Men Club!"
This is a club for all the guys that have no interest in men but are completely turned on by COCK! If you aren't sure whether you belong here then here are a few questions that can help answer that question for you.
- Do you absolutely love women? (God yes. I love my wife, even if our sex life has become almost obsolete. My fetish, nylons, still made my head turn when I saw a woman wearing a pair and my cock hardened. Women were sexy... they were perfect sexual beings except in one BIG (hehe) way.)
- Do you love the sight of a nice cock?(Of course, although recently 'drool over' may be a better description.)
- Do you fantasize about cock? (Only when I'm awake... well, and in some of my dreams.)
- Have you thought about stroking, sucking or fucking a nice cock? (I'd obsessed over stroking and sucking a nice, big, hard cock, although the idea of getting fucked by one didn't do much for me.)
- Do you find yourself having little to no attraction to men but being unable to explain why you are so turned on by cock? (That sentence defined me at the moment. I didn't find men attractive, so I couldn't for the life of me explain why I was turned on by cock.)
Curious, I began scrolling down through posts:
One of the first things I noticed as I read post after post, besides the fact that there were apparently a lot of us 'curious' straight, usually married, cocksuckers, was that the majority of the posters seemed to be forty or older. Each seemed to be married, their sex life usually dull, bland or non-existent, and out of the blue (usually triggered by porn) they became curious and then obsessed by the idea of sucking cock
Like me, they hadn't done anything more than fantasize about it, but also like me each one seemed willing to do it if the right opportunity presented itself.
I also noticed that quite a few wished their wives would be the ones to lead the way to the taboo task. Many men were too scared to admit to their wives that they even had such urges, because it was considered wrong by society, or it questioned the public stereotype of masculinity, or their wives would feel unattractive.
This made me ponder what percentage of men actually had these feelings and if peer pressure allowed them to open up about them, would it be as taboo? It is also strange that in this case the traditional double standard goes against men (as it is no big deal for two women to lez out... and it seemed actually to be encouraged by much of society...).
And although most guys focused on sucking cock, a few wanted to be pegged (a term I had never heard of until then... which in case you don't know is being fucked in the back door by a woman wearing a strap-on... something I could never fathom my wife doing) and a few wanted to be bottomed (fucked by a dominant man).
And although the idea of getting pegged interested me slightly, I wasn't sure I could allow a man to fuck me. That said, the response by one reader did cause me some thought:
As far as top or bottom (or perhaps it should be described as using your prick or your bottom), I believe many of us, if given the opportunity, would like to give the bottom a try first, primarily because we've all experienced the "fucking and getting sucked" aspect of sexuality, and are curious as to what it would be like if we were on the other side of that exchange. Not that we wouldn't take the top role if our partner wanted to try the bottom stuff himself...
Until that moment, I had never really considered the idea of getting fucked. And although I was way more excited about sucking cock, I'd be lying if I denied that the thought of getting fucked (either by a strap-on or a real cock) was now lingering in the back of my mind.
I also learned two great new terms:
1. For straight guys who were curious about sucking a dick: 'oral-curious'.
2. For straight guys who just suck cock (although it could also be for guys who occasionally take it in the ass): 'heteroflexible'.
As I pondered why all this was turning me on, I read a comment from the moderator of the forum Mr. Briggs:
I think a big factor is how much big cock we see in online porn. It's just in your face and celebrated everywhere you look. The girl's reactions are the key. They also make cock sucking look fun. They look possessed and look like they are craving cum and in a weird way that's how I started to feel.
That is a big factor in the inner mind. Seeing so many cocks and reading stories about gorgeous huge cocks really plant the seed.
As I re-read that comment again and again, it made more and more sense. I'd watched hundreds of hours of porn in my life, and although occasionally that included lesbian porn, the reality was that without my noticing that viewpoint, not only had I seen hundreds of women sucking and fucking, I'd also seen hundreds of cocks getting sucked, and hundreds of cocks fucking.
With that in mind, I couldn't help but wonder if I even had a chance... if most men really have a chance. Psychologically, the reality is that we're constantly conditioned to admire the power of cock.
Women drop to their knees for cock.
Women worship cock.
Women eagerly devour cock.
Women make sucking cock look like the most exciting thing ever.
And eventually it makes sense that men who use their cocks on others would be intrigued to explore dick power from the other end.
Unfortunately, I was only a few pages into the 52 plus pages of the forum when my wife called me to go and fix a leaking faucet... even when she didn't know she was doing so, she was wrecking my sex life.
7. JERK OFF BUDDIES
A couple days later, I headed over to watch a football game at Mike's on his 60 inch 4k projector which was fucking awesome (this season I had watched every New York Giants game on it).
Out of the blue Mike asked me a question that opened the door slightly to making my cock sucking fantasy a possibility.
"So Rusty," he said during the first quarter of the fourth game of the season (we were off to a 2-1 start), "can I ask you a personal question?"
"Sure," I nodded, surprised by the question, as all our conversations had been about sports, cars, barbecuing and how impossible it was to understand women (especially our wives).
"How often do you and Sandra have sex?" Mike asked.
I joked, although it was the truth, give or take, "Every second full moon."
He laughed, but seemed to be wanting to have a serious conversation, as he continued, "Seriously, did you find the sex got less often after you got married?"
I nodded, "Exponentially, especially as the years went by, and really especially after we had kids."
"That's what I was worried about," he sighed. "We only do it like once a day now."
I choked on my beer. When I recovered, I asked, "Are you complaining that you only have sex once a day?"