Beginnings

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My journey discovering myself.
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These are just some things that for reasons that will become obvious I can't share with anyone around me, well I can share them with one person but he's the one I've already shared these things with.

I'm now 28, blonde, slim, thought of as attractive and 1.7m tall.

I was a late bloomer, not late physically but mentally and emotionally I didn't really have much of an interest in boys till I left school and went to college. I'd had what I thought was a normal middle class upbringing but on reaching college I quickly discovered it had been more sheltered and perhaps privileged than most. There had been no real expectations on me by my family and I'd been more interested in my horses than boys or for that matter the world outside school and my friends.

College was just the expected route but I had no real ambitions or direction at that point.

Leaving home was a shock in many ways, I was in halls and while it was exciting to be away I missed home, my family and my horses. Through the friends I made there and student life I discovered boys but still had limited experience with them till I met my future husband Craig who was studying engineering at a nearby college. He was the first to really pursue me and I'm still not sure if he became the one because I was in love with him or because he was just so persistent.

My first experience of sex consisted of the usual (or what I thought was usual) awkward fumbling in the dark of a halls room, problems with a condom and much discomfort before an uncomfortable night squeezed together on a single bed.

I decided on teaching as a career and Craig graduated and entered a job in his field. From that first night on we were a couple and our families came to expect us to get married so we did.

Everything was... normal. There wasn't that much passion there but I had no experience to judge it against. We moved into a home in a small village which was mainly funded by our respective parents and his career continued while I completed college and teacher training.

Which is where this story really starts.

I started work teaching at an infant school with a large class of 5 to 7 year olds and the normal feeling of being slightly out of my depth that accompanies that. The work was hard but my colleagues were nice and I quickly adapted.

At first there wasn't much socializing as I had Craig to go home to but gradually his career took off and he was expected to work for extended periods overseas or sometimes in South London where accommodation was provided for him during the week. I was left at home on my own with an empty house in an area I had no friends or activities outside work. Naturally I started accepting invitations if any of my colleagues had anything going on of an evening and gradually came to accept that arriving to face the kids with a slight hangover was not going to be the end of the world.

I was still the 'good girl and nothing out of the ordinary had happened till the night of Russell's birthday.

Russell was an older teacher who had helped me with many of the initial problems I'd encountered in teaching. He's about 1.9m tall, at that time 42 years old, unmarried, large but not unfit (I used to call him husky) and of Jamaican heritage. He was always calm, nothing seemed to bother him and he always had a ready smile while also exhibiting complete confidence.

That Friday Craig was away for three weeks in the United Arab Emirates with work and all of us were invited out for Russell's birthday in a local pub. It was a good night, there was a lot of drinking with the weekend ahead, someone had arranged a cake and I spent most of the night in the corner of a table with Russell beside me. People started drifting off about 9 but I had nothing to look forward to at home and so I stayed. By last orders there were just the two of us left from our group and I realsied on visiting the loo that there was no way I was going to be driving home.

I returned to the table where Russell was and started drunkenly talking about a taxi at which point he insisted that he was fine to drive me home and he'd then take a taxi from there to his house which was in that general direction. It all seemed sensible so he got me one more before last orders and then we set out.

I remember leaning on his as we made our way through the car park, I wasn't staggering but it was chilly, I wasn't completely steady on my feet and he was large and warm.

In the car with the heater on I felt relaxed, we were driving through dark countryside lanes, the trees were passing with the moonlight filtering through them and I just sat there with a contented smile on my face pleasantly drunk till he pulled off the road on a quiet spot and simple said 'Sarah it's my birthday' I looked at him and he reached across taking my hand and placing it on his groin. I remember I didn't even look down, I just looked at his face, his brown eyes staring at me and me falling into them. I felt him hard through his trousers and didn't move my hand, I wasn't really thinking at all, I was still just comfortable but with a new feeling growing.

He undid the top button on his trousers and pulled the zipper down under my hand, his other still just resting on top of mine and I moved, there didn't seem to be anything else to do but slip my hand under the waistband of his pants and grasp his dick so I did. It was hard, hard and thick and hot to the touch. I was just lightly touching it, up and down when he leaned across and cupping the back of my head kissed me and what a kiss. His lips were softer than I was expecting, his tongue was hard and insistent and his hand massaged the back of my neck as he kissed and I stroked.

We broke apart and he eased down his trousers and pants leaving his dick standing straight up, I looked at it for the first time, only the second one I'd ever held. It was different from Craig's, darker obviously, circumcised and so much thicker. He waited till I looked up again and then just repeated 'Sarah it's my birthday' before gently moving my head forward with his hand and down, down towards his dick and I didn't resist. I wanted to, I saw no reason not to, I wasn't thinking about anything else or even that. I sucked his dick, I tasted it, I sucked it, I licked it, I held it by the base and swirled my tongue around the head of it and I did all that over and over till he came in my mouth.

He sat back and I leaned on his shoulder for a minute till he adjusted his clothes, started the car again and set off. Nothing was said. I felt different, I felt warm and excited, content, wanted, small, everything.

It took us about another 10 minutes to reach my house and again nothing was said. He got out of the car and opened my door for me, I leaned on him and he guided me to the door where he used the keys on the car ring to open it and let me in. I had no real idea of what was going to happen, he just followed me in and directed me straight towards the staircase to the bedrooms as he closed the door behind him. I led and he held my hand so I went straight to our bedroom.

The bed wasn't made, I remember feeling bad because I hadn't made the bed as he took me in his arms and leaned down kissing me again. He was in control, he stripped me standing there before removing his own clothes and taking my shoes and tights off. I lay back on the bed and he was between my legs, I felt tiny in his arms, he surrounded me everywhere and I could feel his hardness pressing against me not even realizing how wet I was till he slipped in forcing my legs apart, further apart then I'd been before, wide open to him and full, full of him.

His hands were on my breasts, his mouth was on my neck and then my legs were spread and up under his arms as he pushed into me fast and erratically till I felt him come inside me. I didn't orgasm but I felt like anything could have made me at that point. Everything was spinning slightly, wobbly and I drifted off to sleep with everything and nothing flashing in my head.

The next morning I woke with an arm draped over him and nestled into his back. I slipped out of bed, pulled on a pair of panties to get a drink of water and brush my teeth. I returned to the bedroom and slipped back under the covers resuming the position I'd been in before.

I'll continue with what's happened in the years since then when I have the time.

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26thNC26thNCabout 5 years ago
Why

Why do the women who "discover" themselves find that they are cheating whores?

stormbreyerstormbreyeralmost 8 years ago
Very nice first story

I enjoyed your story and thought your descriptions of the feelings of the main character were wonderful in the way you wove details of the physical actions with the thoughts they evoked in her. I look forward to your next installment.

onecoolcustomeronecoolcustomeralmost 9 years ago
"our" bed

I caught that and thought it odd until I read the last sentence. I guess my question is, are you still married to your first husband or second?

The story itself is plain. Kind of like going to baskin robins and asking for a sundae with just vanilla ice cream, no toppings. As a reader, I have no idea who Craig is or what he means to you. I sense no love whatsoever between the two of you. Hell, I can't even detect much like.

If your bio is correct, I would suggest an ancient process most married couples indulge in from time to time called "communication." My first wife had a problem with that and it did more damage to both of us than I care to admit. In spite of repeated attempts to just get her to talk to me, there was something in her past that even after 15 years, I have no clue about.

Most of the stories I read on this site are reflections of peoples imaginations. And like most fantasies, as long as they remain in your head, you are safe from the inevitable consequences. Give them life by voicing them and their discovery will hurt far worse than if the deed was done. As most spouses/partners have no idea the secret life their significant other lives, learning of their kinks and fetishes expressed in such a public forum is unsettling and traumatic. Trust is lost which ultimately leads to the loss of respect.

Don't mean to be long winded about it, but you're young and I would say lost and naive. If indeed the deed is done, simply let him go and discover yourself without the stigma of adulteress hanging over your head. Just my two cents.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
Good work.

You have the potentials of a great writer. Keep up the good work and continue. Find time to avoid any long break.

Sam

kinkykingfisher@yahoo.com

rightbankrightbankalmost 9 years ago
written for 5-7 year old readers

please don't find the time to tell what happened in the years that followed. Find something constructive instead, please.

"I'll continue with what's happened in the years since then when I have the time."

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