Being Re-claimed for the Holidays

I had been reading most of the morning in front of the enormous fireplace centered in the middle of the room, located just off of the main lobby in the ski lodge my family had decided to spend a week in to celebrate the holidays together, when I felt a chill tear through my body. The room that I was in did not have a doorway that faced directly into the main lobby, so I did not feel any cold breezes whenever guests entered or exited through the main doors. I kept myself covered with my modest attire of jeans, an oversized wool sweater, and fuzzy boots, and the fire had not lessened in intensity, so the unexpected chill, that I could not place an origin for, was unnerving in a way. I put my book down in my lap and slid my reading glasses down to the tip of my nose while I straightened my neck to raise my gaze, but before I could turn my head to look about the room, I felt familiar, large, strong hands be placed gently on my shoulders from behind me.

My body had tensed upon the intrusive contact, but as the powerful hands from behind the sofa started to gently massage their way over my shoulders and up the sides of my neck, I sighed deeply and relaxed, knowing only one person who used such a technique as a greeting. My heartbeat quickened immediately when his name surfaced in my mind, but my body melted into the back of the couch, feeling completely safe, and at ease in his hands. I wondered how I had known he was there; I had to have known by that chill I had felt, but I said nothing while I wondered how such a strange coincidence—that he and I should be staying at the same hotel, in a different state than we had met in, years after separating—could have occurred. I felt him lean over the back of the couch, and felt his warm breath against the side of my neck; I closed my eyes, appreciative that I had tied my long auburn hair up into a messy bun before I had started reading to allow him such uninhibited excess to one of my most sensitive endogenous zones. I allowed myself to enjoy the sensation, and I even smiled faintly, remembering what such an intimate move between us usually led to.

"I love feeling your body surrender to me." His voice was a soft, deep bass that caused his words to sound almost lyrical. I took a deep breath, mentally clinging to the tone of each word as he spoke it, allowing for each word to be seared into my memory while trying desperately to not display for him, how much I enjoyed the sound of his voice. Of course, he already knew all of that far too well. He pulled even closer to me so that I could feel his soft lips brush gently against the side of my ear while he intentionally deepened his voice further. "You have no idea how much I've missed that."

I had had a momentary lapse in my defenses from the surprise of him finding me this way, but hearing his confessions sparked something in me that allowed me to snap myself out of the daydream-like state he was an expert at invoking in me. I exhaled through my nostrils with a quick giggle. "I'm sure you had no problem in replacing me, Derek; fuck knows, that I have not had any trouble keeping myself busy without you." I snapped, hoping to infuriate him with such a brash remark, but he only continued to surprise me. He lowered his large, muscular arms around me, crossing one arm over the other in a hug around my shoulders, and he kissed the side of my neck gently before chuckling to himself. I lost my breath.

"Naughty." He whispered lightly, as if he found some joke in my response. I focused on my breathing, forcing myself to breathe again, and trying to keep myself calm when I felt my heart race harder, throbbing against my chest. His arms around me did not provoke distress like I had imagined they would, but instead, sent me into a panic over how aroused I was feeling from such a simple gesture. He held me for a moment before he kissed the side of my neck again, which had never been a simple gesture between us. Such a loving, gentle kiss implanted on such a sensitive area was reserved, and used only as a kind of reward from Derek when we were together. I felt my mouth go dry while he kept his lips close to my soft skin; I could feel a bit of stubble from his cheek and chin brush against my neck, causing me to tremble slightly in his arms. I could hear him smirk to himself as he purposely brushed more of his rough, course skin against my neck to kiss my neck again. "I knew you must have missed me, too." He teased me lightly.

"Glad to hear that you're still as arrogant as I remember." I breathed, and he laughed.

"I've never been one to disappoint. Surely," he continued to tease in his deep, bass whispers, "you remember just how completely satisfying all of me is; I don't believe that I have ever given a reason for you to be disappointed." I turned my face to look at him over my reading glasses, and he pulled his face away from my neck so that he could look me over as well. I tried to quickly calculate how old he was now, surprised to see that same boyish face looking back at me, almost unchanged during the decade, or more, that had passed since our last meeting. His only tell that he had aged at all were the faint lines that had formed around his hazel eyes, and the lightly colored scars that replaced were piercings had once been. The smile he wore, was still the same bright, boyish smile that I had been so attracted to when we had first met in class. "You most certainly don't know how to disappoint, do you, Alex?" He breathed lightly with a warm smile. "I remember a pretty, but slightly awkward little girl, with gorgeous, piercing green eyes that seemed so much older than the rest of her. But now the rest of you seems as though you've grown into those breath-taking eyes of yours. I never dreamed you'd be so much more beautiful now."

"And when did you learn to become such a charmer?" I laughed nervously, taking more pleasure from his compliments than I wanted to.

He shook his head. "I'm not trying to charm, I'm just being honest. I've always been incredibly honest with you, Alex...even when that honesty has led to heartache." He lowered his eyes for a moment, and swallowed hard before he looked back to me with a smile to hide what he was feeling. His actions surprised me yet again; I did not expect him to be so upset with me still. "It's adorable to see you all curled up in front of a fire playing lodge-bunny, but I wouldn't think to find you at a place like this by yourself, especially right before Christmas." He quickly changed the subject. "Or have you grown fond of winter sports?"

"I still can't stand them." I shrugged, and he nodded, knowingly. "My family decided on a ski retreat as a reunion for the holidays, and being for the holidays, I was forced to attend regardless of my aversion to the snow."

"So then there's no boyfriend out on the slopes looking forward to finding his reading lodge-bunny waiting for him to come back in?" Derek clarified, and after a moment, I shook my head. "Good." He smiled broadly. "Because that's how I intend to spend the day: out on the slopes with my brothers, thinking about my little lodge-bunny, and looking forward to her waiting for my return to her. Say, for drinks this evening in the bar downstairs?"

I rolled my eyes at him, but I thought to tease him for his arrogance. "I'm not your little lodge-bunny, Derek." I growled playfully with a wicked smile, my eyes shinning over my glasses, and his smile widened further. When we were together, I had constantly teased Derek without mercy, I had made him play my games, and I had made him earn every bit of affection or respect I so sporadically gave to him. His reward for learning to never take anything from me for granted, had been the title of being the first person I had ever willingly submitted to; on the occasion that I felt submissive. I could tell by his smile, that he was debating a punishment for me.

"You are too if you insist on teasing me like that." He laughed confidently, removing his arms from around me, and straightening himself to stand behind me without playing into my game. Disappointed, I did not look up to him, but instead turned my eyes to watch the flames dancing in the fire before me. "I'll expect to join my lodge-bunny downstairs at eight for drinks, and I can promise you, Alex, that you will be the only thought on my mind until then."

I huffed in disbelief, but I did not turn toward him until I heard him walk away to join a group of men waiting outside for him. I breathed deeply, looking over the back of his broad shoulders, and watching his confident stride while he walked. I was pleased to see, even through his winter outfit, that he obviously retained his muscular physic from college. I watched him return to the group, and noticed the men he joined all resembled him in some way: some had the same square jaw he possessed, some where just as tall and widely built, and some had the same jet black hair and dark, hazel eyes. Derek had told me before that he was the baby of six boys—bless his poor mother—but I never tried to picture his brothers, or imagined that they could all appear to be so hansom. I watched them all turn and leave, and only found myself even more perplexed by Derek's actions. Though he had the chance, he had not introduced me to any of his family members, or suggested to meet any of mine even though I had informed him of their presence; there was a time when Derek had wanted nothing more than for us to meet each others families.

I pushed my glasses back up to the bridge of my nose, readjusted myself in the over stuffed sofa I was sitting on, and tried to return to my reading unsuccessfully. I kept reading the same sentence over and over without any luck of absorbing any meaning from it as my distracted thoughts continued to return to memories of Derek and I when we were together years ago.

Already aroused, I felt myself grow wet while I suddenly envisioned one particularly combative evening between us: I had playfully snapped one of his leather belts to tease him, but the act had made Derek freeze in place, terrified. I made him tell me what had caused such a reaction, but when he informed me that his father used to whip Derek and his brothers with his own belt when they misbehaved, I did not display any kind of sympathy. Instead, I laughed and snapped the belt again, victoriously, delighted to have found such a simple weakness to exploit when necessary. Derek had immediately pulled me over his knee, knowing I had my own reservations about being in such a position, and spanked me until I apologized. My punishment for my actions did not cease with a simple spanking however; I had pulled that stunt on a Friday night, and Derek kept me the whole weekend for retribution. I heard a small moan escape from my lips, and blushing, I quickly looked around to see if there was anyone around me who could have noticed the faint noise.

Satisfied that no one had heard me, I readjusted myself in my seat again, and tried harder to focus on the book before me. Again I reread the same sentence repeatedly while musing over our prior history. I had met Derek as a freshmen in college, sharing the same history elective with him even though he was a senior at the time. I needed the introductory level course to continue taking additional classes that required that class as a prerequisite, but Derek was taking it as an easy grade to fill some extra credits he needed before graduating.

I had spent the summer between high-school and college traveling abroad in Europe. I did not experience the culture-shock I had been warned about while over sees—I was constantly too jovial over each new experience to be shocked—but when I came back to the states, I was deeply immersed in an unexpected form of reverse culture-shock I had never been prepared for. I did not want to be home, and I longed to return to my traveling education instead of attending the college institution I was already enrolled in. My family convinced me of the idea that college would see me surrounded by others my age, desperate to learn and better themselves, and promised such an atmosphere would provide an easier transition for me. I had quickly been proven ignorant of my perceived notions of my peers within the first few days of attending classes. I did not smile much during those first few weeks while trying to adjust to the mentally of those around me, and I quickly gave up on trying to relate to my fellow students, not speaking or interacting with anyone unless absolutely necessary.

Derek had noticed my constant state of depression while in class, and had stopped me once after class to joke about it, telling me I would look prettier if I smiled once in awhile. I was physically attracted to him immediately, but I had shrugged him off, unwilling to break my habit of not socializing. Not fazed by my response, he persisted for weeks until I finally agreed to go out to a party with him one weekend to appease him in hopes that he would leave me alone afterward.

I immediately regretted my decision when we arrived at the party, hating the loud, drunken stupidity, and obnoxious behavior that reined over the intoxicated environment. Noticing my unease, Derek had kept me close to him all evening, and watched over me to make sure I was not bothered by anyone I obviously did not want around me. I had enjoyed the game of having such a tall, strong, behemoth to protect me for awhile, but the novelty of it wore thin as the night progressed, and I could not find enjoyment in the party. When I asked to leave, he took me back to campus without argument. I did not offer any explanation for my actions, and did not allow for him to kiss me good night, or any of that nonsense, thinking he would lose interest if I proved unresponsive to his advances. I was proven wrong about my peers again, and the next class that we shared together, Derek sat next to me with a broad, playful smile.

Other older male students—many of them friends to Derek—tried to approach me with the intention of warning me about Derek's behavior toward women. As a freshmen, they all assumed I was too naïve to know what Derek was capable of, and some even offered to date me instead to help keep me from him. Intrigued, I began to hang out with Derek in earnest after classes to learn his personality for myself. It did not take long to figure out what the other students had tried to warn me about without saying so directly: Derek had a tendency to be very dominating over those around him regardless of their connection to him.

I teased Derek relentlessly over the idea of domination, acting equally as aggressive toward him as he acted toward me, pushing him to see how far he would bend for me before he could no longer tolerate my playful torments. To the surprise of everyone around us, Derek did not just tolerate the way I would try to egg him on, but he appreciated our little game of cat and mouse on a level that even he himself did not expect. An intense relationship grew quickly between us, too quickly for my comfort, and I started to pull back away from him when I realized just how serious things had become between us emotionally.

At eighteen, I was not naïve to Derek's aggressive play or dominating sexual habits, as I was well versed in my own, but at eighteen, I was terrified of commitment. Derek had taken some time off from school between finishing high-school and starting college, and then a senior at twenty-six, the age-gap between us allowed him a different perspective of life than the one I held. He was the one to suggest I should return home with him over one of the Spring holiday breaks to meet his family; an idea I quickly refused and used as a reason to push away from him even more. He had tried to argue the point with me, even offering the idea that he could easily envision us married someday, with children, as proof to why I should stop trying to fight being with him. It only made me more adamant in my resolve, and I severed all connections with him a month before he was set to graduate.

Furious, does not begin to describe his reaction to my leaving him; apparently he had been the one to end any of his relationships before me, and he could not accept the fact that a woman could refuse him for anything. He acted out, hoping to make me jealous, sleeping with a number of other women to prove some point to me that I should have been grateful to have been with him in the first place for how attractive he was. When that did not work in his favor, he tried to court me with flowers and gifts as though he thought he could win me back. And finally, when that did not produce the result he craved, he made a public display of his affections outside in the courtyard in between class periods, and begged for me to take him back in front of our peers, willingly humiliating himself, desperate for my approval. Fed up with his begging, I had walked away from him without a word, leaving him to the jeers of his friends.

Derek graduated on time, moved to another state for an internship, and was offered a position to stay on with that company before his internship even expired. I had seen him around campus a handful of times the following year when he came back to visit some of his friends to relax from work for a weekend and party, but he never approached me. He would watch after me longingly if I was alone when he spotted me, or he would glare angrily at me if I was with a guy, regardless of who that guy was to me. I found the whole charade to be childish, and decided I had made the right decision after all; witnessing first hand how much each Derek and I needed to grow up. I pushed all thoughts of Derek into the very recesses of my mind, but I was never able to free myself of those thoughts completely. A part of me had always missed him on some level, but I did not realize just how much, until I had felt his touch once more.

I mused over the idea of joining him for drinks later, but I knew I would not go. I also now knew that a distraction in the form of reading, was impossible to achieve. I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering how Derek would 'help' me study before an exam. He would demand my textbook, strip me down, and restrain me, but never to a degree that I could not escape if I felt the need. He would flip to the back of the chapter and quiz me from the suggested study material; correct answers earned small rewards, while incorrect answers earned minuet punishments. I had been an honor student all throughout high-school, but Derek was more than willing to take credit for my academic achievements when I made the Dean's list both semesters that year.

Opening my eyes once more, I realized I had been subconsciously grinding my hips into the sofa under me. I quickly removed my reading glasses from my face, closed my book, and hurried back upstairs to my room to put my things back in my bag. All of my cousins were staying in basic, single rooms on the same floor that I was on, but our parents were on the floor above us all in large suites so that they had kitchens they could entertain family in, and extra space for their grandchildren to sleep so the children were not confined to staying with their parents. I knew most of the family was at a snow boarding lesson—an early present from one of my uncles—and I did not think I would meet any of my family on my way back to my room. On my way up the stairs, I had decided to dedicate some time that afternoon to alleviating the pent up frustration coursing through my body at the thought of Derek, so that I would not weaken so easily again if I did come across him once more.

"Alexis." My cousin, Cassie, called to me from her doorway as I passed. I stopped and waited for her to approach me, not appreciating the large wicked smile she showed. "My, my; what has you all flustered?" She beamed, and I shrugged. Cassie and I are the same age, though we look nothing alike, and when we are together, we always find ourselves neck deep in trouble.