Ben and Melissa Ch. 03

Sorry folks, no sex in this the final part of the Ben and Melissa saga.

**********************

It's been four years to the day now since I have heard anything of either of the two lovers. I am fifty-two years young and feeling good. I have thought about Melissa from time to time over the period, how could I not. She had been the soul of my life and my partner in everything for over six years. But, she had betrayed me in the worst of all possible ways: she had laughed at me like I was nothing. The coldness I felt as a result of that humiliation has not left me. Cheating, that is the sex per se, I could have forgiven maybe even the multiple instances of her cheating; yes, I could have. But not the contempt and the humiliating laughter that she shared with Jerry Cummings at my expense. So you can imagine my surprise this morning when my assistant, Sonia Keating, announced that I had a visitor.

"Who is it Sonia?" I asked over the intercom.

"Ben, it's Jerry Cummings," she said.

"What!"

"I'm not kidding, Ben."

"Call security," I said.

"Ben. See him. He's different. I think you should see him."

"Sonia, he could have a gun..."

"No Ben, He's wearing shorts and a t-shirt; he doesn't have any weapons."

I was momentarily silent. "Okay, but I want security camping in your office until he leaves. Got it?"

"Yes sir."

"Okay, send him in."

It had been near four years on, but he was pretty much as I remembered him: tall, reasonably good looking, maybe a little thinner. But, Sonia had been right; there was a difference in him. I guessed prison had caused the changes I saw.

"Thank you for seeing me Mr. Holden," said the man who had helped destroy my marriage—and my life if it came to that. I was amazed at myself for being able to maintain a relative calm seeing him.

"Whaddya want, Mr. Cummings? I'm a busy man," I said about as coldly as I ever said anything.

"I understand. I got out about three months ago. Three years, three months, and sixteen days behind bars Mr. Holden. And I want to thank you for them; they weren't fun, but they straightened me out."

I covered my surprise at his words pretty well, I thought. "I'm glad for you. And, you're welcome. Now, what can I do for you?"

"Mr. Holden, first I want to apologize, from the bottom of my heart, for coming between you and your wife. It was a rotten thing to do to any man, but especially to you. Believe it or not, I learned a lot about you from Melissa during those months that we were cheating on you. She really loved you. For the record, I think she loved me too, but in a different way: for her and me it was a case of nostalgia. But, where you were concerned; well, you were the love of her life."

"Yeah, I could tell by the way you were both laughing at me that day in my condo. You remember the day, that day, dontcha Jerry. It's the day my life fell apart. You were calling me a wuss and you and she laughed your asses off about it," I said.

"Yeah we did laugh; I admit it. I am fully aware how much that must have stung you. I did call you a wuss. And, I know that I insulted you and called you a wuss and worse, and that many times over the course of the months, because I was jealous of you. I was jealous of the love she held for you."

"Yeah, that's why she fucked you behind my back," I said, not quite actually sneering at his remarks.

"Yes, she did, and I did. We fucked and it was pleasant, but it was never really comfortable for either of us. She felt guilty as hell. I think the laughter on her side was a kind of a way to cover the guilt she felt. I don't know, maybe it was for me too.

"You may find this hard to believe, but I have a conscience too, even then I had a conscience. But, I loved her as much as you did, and that love blinded me and filled me with envy and hurt, because I knew that I could never really possess her. Even if we had fucked a thousand times, I could never really possess her; she was yours."

"The laughter," I said, "it was the one thing that had really crossed the line for me, and it still rankles.

"I hate to beat a dead horse, Jerry; but I am going to ask you the same question I asked Melissa that last day in the hotel. Why did you feel the need to laugh at me? I find it real hard to believe that it was just because the two of you felt guilty."

"Truth is," he said, "apart from what I told you, I really don't know. It was a mood, we did feel guilty, the both of us. I was jealous of you. She kept telling me to shut up about you. I kept cracking jokes about you to get her to lighten up. It was a lot of things. I ain't lyin', Mr. Holden; that's the way it was."

I sat back in my chair and considered his words. He had no reason to lie, as he had said. I actually wanted to believe him, but who knew what his agenda might be. Was he sincere in apologizing, trying to set things straight? Did it matter after all of this time? Why did I feel uneasy?

I had to end it, but I also wanted to see this asshole again. I needed to even if I didn't know quite why I needed to. I had more questions, and I needed to have them answered. Damn him! for upsetting my world yet again, albeit in a different way.

"Mr. Cummings. Thank you for coming in. I really am busy, but I do appreciate your words. And..." Did I really want to say what I was about to say? "Come back next week, same day same time. I want to talk with you some more. No, do this instead, meet me at the Round Tree for lunch—make it noon sharp."

"Oh, okay," he said. "I didn't expect..."

"Yes, yes, but you being here was unexpected too. Lunch next week, okay?"

"Yes, sure."

He was no more than ten seconds out the door before I was ringing Rex. I'd had the germ of an idea, and I wanted to explore it. They say the Buddha had achieved bodisattvahood in seven years; it had only taken me four—maybe.

******

"Rex...yeah it's me...right...say listen, Cummings was here today...did I stutter...yeah, yeah...can you come over...uhhuh...I'll be waiting."

He was there I less than half an hour. I had Sonia just wave him in.

"Okay, Ben, what's the deal? You actually saw the guy? Talked to him?"

"Believe it or not. I'm more surprised than you are. He came to abjectly apologize, and he did. I guess he got out of prison a few months ago. He also told me some stuff that I really would like to know the truth of, and, I thought maybe you could help me out, either you or Annie; or, maybe both," I said. "I gotta know, Rex, and frankly I'm chicken to do it myself."

"Sure if I can," said Rex.

I gave him the long version and he kept nodding as I sang my song. "So whaddya think," I said.

"Wow! I don't know. He was right about one thing; he had no reason to lie. He might be pulling something that's not immediately apparent, but on the surface what he said seems kosher," said Rex. "Still, I think you oughta do this on your own."

"I just can't Rex. I just can't. It would kill me if I tried, and she spit on me. So, do you think you can find her?"

"Sure. But I'm gonna let Annie quiz her? She's a woman, and she won't be swayed by another woman's act. Plus, she's had experience in this area," he said.

"Experience?" I said.

"Yeah, her mom did some cheating—twice—it was a tough row for her and her dad. But, the whole scene eventually had a happy ending.

"Anyway, I'll be in reserve, but I will let her do the actual sit down if Mel is willing to sit down that is."

"It just occurred to me. It's been four years since I've seen or heard from her. She might be remarried. Before you do anything, find out what's up with her first, okay?"

"Sure, but what if she is single-o? Are you thinking you might get back with her?" said Rex.

"I don't know. No, I'm not thinking that way at the moment, but stranger things have happened. And, I don't mind telling you; I have never been able to get her out of my mind, but then you know that don't you," I said.

I was expecting to hear back from Rex in two or three days, but I heard back from him in less than four hours.

"Yeah, I got it. It was easy. She's not hiding. I had the info in less than two hours."

"Well," I said, "let me have it."

"Okay, she's not married. No known attachments either. She works for a PR firm called Wells Good Will Services. She's a top agent for them. She's pulling down maybe sixty-k annual, and in the company she's considered an almost pathological workaholic."

"Okay," I said. "But where is she."

"Well, she sure ain't in California anymore. She's in Dallas."

"Have Annie come by. I wanna talk to her before she heads out."

"Consider it done."

******

The plane touched down in Dallas fifteen minutes ahead of schedule. Annie Carter was alone. This was not the kind of job that required stealth. It was going to be either straight up conversation or straight up confrontation; and it was six to five and pick'em on the morning line.

She gave the driver the address to Wells Good Will Services. No use wasting time. If she could catch the woman in, she could be done in a day one way or the other.

The offices of WGWS were located on the fifth floor of a ten story structure downtown. She straightened her business suit and caught a going-up Otis.

The receptionist looked to be nearing retirement, but the smile and the greeting gave Annie to realize why she worked there: she was good. She introduced herself and asked to see Melissa Holden. The lady indicated a seat and she took it. The woman made the call on the intercom and listened for the response.

"Ms. Holden will be right out, miss."

Annie wondered what the woman would look like. So far, while she knew all about her, she hadn't yet seen a photo; it hadn't been necessary.

The door swung open and a middle aged woman with medium length hair in a smart business suit marched right up to her.

"Hi, I'm Melissa Holden. You're here for the agent's position, am I right?" She smiled winsomely.

"Uh, no ma'am. My name is Annie Carter. I'm here to see you about something private and very personal," she said.

The woman looked her askance. "Oh, may I know who or what this about?" she tested.

"It is personal ma'am."

"Well, okay, follow me," she said. "Mary, hold my calls." Mary nodded.

In the office, Melissa offered her visitor a cup of coffee or...; Annie opted for tea. Melissa busied herself getting the tea. She made an effort to anticipate what this young woman might want; she was intrigued.

"So, what's this all about," said Melissa.

"I'm here to ask you a few things at the request of Ben Holden," said Annie.

Melissa's face went sheet-white. "Ben!"

"Yes ma'am."

"Please, call me Melissa. So how is my ex-husband?" She'd recovered and was more than a little curious.

"He's fine. He's interested in knowing if you would be willing to meet with him."

Melissa paused. She phrased her response. "Why didn't he come himself," said Melissa.

"I didn't ask, but if I had to guess, he wanted to avoid a confrontation if you were not amenable. I should tell you that Mr. Cummings is out of prison and has been to see Ben himself."

"Oh my gawd!"

"No, no, evidently it was an amicable meet. Mr. Cummings said some things that made Mr. Holden very anxious to meet with you if you're willing."

"Here or there?"

"He told me to tell you that he'd like it there, but he would come here if you insisted," said Annie.

"You know it just occurred to me to ask. Who are you? Are you his girlfriend or...?"

"Oh my gawd no!" said Annie. "I work with Rex Coleman; I'm a PI."

"Aren't you a little young for a job like that?" said Melissa.

"I'm twenty-three and hold a degree in Criminal Justice and a third dan in Okinawan karate," said Annie, smiling broadly.

"I see," said Melissa, smirking.

"Am I allowed to ask any questions here?"

"Sure, Mr. Holden said to tell you anything you wanted to know."

"Nice of him," said Melissa with just a trace of sarcasm in her voice. "Is he married?"

"No, and my boss said to tell you he doesn't date."

Melissa felt like she'd just received a dozen long stem roses.

"What does he want from me?"

"Well, that's a tricky one, and I knew you'd ask. He said what he wants is clarification of a few things that Mr. Cummings told him. But..."

"But what?" said Melissa.

"I'm not sure, Melissa. But, I am of the opinion that he misses you. He didn't tell me to tell you that," said Annie.

"I see. He kicks my ass to the curb and now he wants to see me."

"That's about it, yes," said Annie. "Shall I tell him no then?"

Melissa was lost in thought. This girl knew how to steer a conversation. Too bad she wasn't applying for the job.

"Tell him to come here. He's the one that wants to see me.

"Anything else?" said Melissa.

"No, that about covers it. He anticipated that that would be your choice. He asked if dinner Friday next would be good for you."

"Tell him that would be fine. I will make reservations at the Columbus Club here in town.

"One more thing, Annie: what does he know about me?"

Annie inclined her head as if to say, isn't it obvious. "Everything, Ms. Holden, including the fact that you aren't dating either."

Melissa just nodded her understanding.

******

After her meeting with Annie, Melissa Holden sat stone still in her chair and sobbed. Four years and she had heard nothing. Her husband, her ex-husband, had kicked her out; and, she admitted, he'd had cause. But now, that same man wanted to see her. Why? She sincerely doubted that he wanted her back. The divorce had been a sullen affair for her; she hadn't contested anything. She'd essentially just left town.

She had been able to get a good recommendation from her supervisor, and that had parlayed itself into a decent job at WGWS. She'd moved up the ladder, and now was living the good life, if one could call what she had a good life; she didn't.

And, what about Jerry? He'd suffered the most because of her. He'd been condemned to prison, but he had evidently been paroled after some three years. Well, it hadn't been her that sent him up exactly; it had been his own greed, but she had been the catalyst by which he had been caught and convicted. She'd visited him once soon after he's been incarcerated; it had been one of the saddest moments in her life. She had been as kind as she could, but she had let him know that he and she were no longer an item.

She had held a thing for Jerry for some twenty years, but their cheating and the subsequent upheaval had shown her that she had been woefully in the wrong. She'd destroyed a good man, her own life, and had at least been instrumental in bringing down her lover. What was the old saying: "Cheaters never prosper."

Now, after four years, she would be facing the man she had destroyed; it was not going to be easy. But, he'd asked for the meeting; and, truth told, she was curious.

******

His plane landed at Dallas-Fort Worth at 2:00 in the afternoon. He'd arranged it, so as to be able to relax a little before his 7:00PM appointment with his former wife. He wondered what she looked like. Well, it didn't matter; he'd soon know. The goal was to find out just what had happened that horrible day four years before. Oh, there was no doubt about the cheating; she was guilty, and he had felt the full weight of a humiliated and discarded spouse. The hurt had been unimaginably intense. And, it had been made doubly so because of the laughter; he'd never been able to get over that; it had all but destroyed him.

The damage to his psyche as a result of everything had been so bad as to have required psychological therapy. He'd been seeing a shrink almost from the beginning. The shrink had been able to assuage some of his pain but not all.

******

The Columbus Club was definitely upscale. No loud crashing sounds from the band, no plastic tablecloths. The wine glasses were crystal and the menus two feet tall and leather bound. Mel sat at a table near a picture window and distant from the stage where a piano was backing up a pretty good contralto. She'd come to love the soft music, the dim romantic lighting, and what she had come to regard as the kindness that the servers displayed in their routine rounds.

She saw him speak to the maitre'd when he entered. He ushered him to the table.

She smiled at him. He returned the favor.

"You look good Mel. I don't know what I expected, but you look good. You look happy," he said.

"Thanks, you're looking pretty good yourself. Glad you came," she said.

"Shall we order first," he said. She nodded.

A waitress arrived with a bottle of chilled wine. "I took the liberty of ordering some wine; I hope you don't mind," she said.

"No, that's fine," he said. "Anyway, how have you been?"

"Okay. I'm working; I work a lot. It takes my mind off of other things," the pause was pregnant. She sipped her wine.

"Yeah, me too," he said, sipping his.

The waitress returned and took their orders.

"I was surprised," she said. "I never thought that I would see you again."

"It was not something I had marked on my calendar either," he said. "But, when your ex-boyfriend showed up, it got me to remembering; and, frankly, I was curious. And..." He paused not knowing exactly how to phrase what he wanted to say. "I still want to know," he said.

"The why?"

"Yes, but more, why you despised me so," he said, testing the waters.

Her face darkened. She had promised herself that she would not cry. This was going to be a business meeting. She would tell him what he wanted to know. Give him closure. But, she was weakening; the meeting was becoming important to her as well.

"He was the boy in that Buick that I told you about. You know when I was a teenager. He was my first love. At first I thought that I had grown up and the world was different for me. You had helped me so much—when you didn't have to. But, I had not grown up, and I had not stopped loving him," she said.

He raised a hand indicating she should continue.

"The problem was that I was in love with you too. Talk about a rock and a hard place. My first love and the love of my life both in the same place at the same time. I was either the luckiest girl who ever breathed air or the unluckiest. Turns out I was the unluckiest, I guess," she said.

"But I digress. I actually made the conscious decision to divide my time between the two of you. The bad part was that you didn't know anything about it; and I was feeling about as guilty as I could.

"When we couldn't use our usual rendezvous, I made up my mind to clue you so that you would get rid of me. I had cheated. In knew you would try to resurrect me and our marriage if you just heard about it or figured it out some way, and that wasn't fair to you.

"I had dishonored you. I didn't deserve you. I wanted to get away from you so that you could be whole again, and I could avoid the punishing reality that would be my life if you took me back and were good to me—too good to me. I couldn't bear not to be trusted by you anymore, and that is the reason for my fucking him in our house."

"But, how can that be? You didn't know I would be there," he said.

"No, that's not so. I didn't know you'd be there that early. Oh no, I fully intended to keep going at it until you did get home. I wanted to be caught and punished: sent packing. But then something awful happened; I wasn't prepared for it. My mind flipped, and I couldn't go through with my plan. So I got him outta there when you called, and tried to fix the place up so that you wouldn't know."

"Yes?"

"Well, you know the rest. You caught us at the hotel, and..."

"You still didn't answer my question?" he said.

"I didn't despise you, Ben, at least believe that. I don't know why you would think that."

"Because of the way you laughed at me. Nothing got to me more than that. I didn't deserve that. I had never done anything to you—or him either if it comes to that. So why, Mel, why?"