Bending the Rules Pt. 07: Overcast

*****

"I bet I know where to find some trouble," Nuru said.

He went back to the butcher shop and walked around the side. Sure enough, the buck head was still there; Gram probably hadn't yet decided what to do with it. He dragged it out front and faced it towards the main door, then took the note that had been attached to the arrow stuck in his fence and impaled it on one of the antlers. Then he walked back to the Mayor's office.

Before he could talk to anyone, a Level Two came dashing up. "Guards! Guards! There's a threatening note by the butcher shop!"

A small stampede of people swept Nuru away right back where he'd been; he went along with it since this was what he'd meant to do as well. A few people were gathered around, looking at the note.

"Stand aside! Let's talk to the shop keeper," one of the guards said.

Gram came out, looking confused. He spied the note and immediately whipped his head left and right, then charged as soon as he spied Nuru.

"You-!" he yelled.

A guard held him fast with a hand on his chest.

"Let's not jump to conclusions," he said.

"It was him! I know it was!"

"How can you be sure?"

"He threatened me, to my face! He's had dealings with that mangy beast, Jaheem!"

"What does some animal have to do with this?" the guard asked.

"There's a bounty out on it. Everybody knows! He's aiding a known menace to his fellow man!"

"What exactly are you accusing me of, here?" Nuru said, quietly.

Gram glared daggers at him. "I don't know what your game here is-"

"Hey. Answer the question. Are you formally accusing him or what?" the guard said.

"What do you bloody think!? YES I'm accusing him!"

"All right, settle down, let's figure this out. We'll proceed with paperwork if necessary, although I'd rather settle this here and now. What are your charges?"

"Harassment! Stalking! Dealing in bad faith."

"So witnessed?" the guard said.

People around us nodded.

"Very well. How do you answer these charges?" he continued.

"I say, he's the one harassing and stalking," Nuru said.

"How do you figure that, you little punk?" Gram demanded. "Do you deny leaving the note there?"

"Now now, stick to neutral language here," the guard warned. "Answer the question, however."

"I haven't been following him the least bit, but I did leave the note. Harassing? What level are you again?" Nuru said.

"I hardly see how that's relevant. You heard it! He left the note!" Gram crowed.

"It's extremely relevant."

"Fifty-One. So what?"

"So I'm Level Four. Harassing you would be tantamount to suicide. Which is how you can get away with spreading rumors that get groups of adventurers to harass *me* when I'm going about my business."

"Preposterous! He lies right to our faces!"

"He passes my bluff check," the guard said. "Can you provide proof?"

"That beast is a menace - he's in league, I swear on my life. It's killed several people and maimed several more. That _thing_ and its eyesore offspring attacked me in his presence! And he stood by and watched!"

"Killed who, exactly?" Nuru said.

"Several people! A party came nearby, and you attacked them like a raid boss!"

"Thief, Faraji. Healer, Akinyi. Go find those people, and check their quest logs. Ask them what happened that day, and follow up with everyone on the raid PvP exclusion list. You'll find no one died that day," Nuru told the guard.

"Hold on, one second."

He pulled out paper and started writing.

"Alright, good information. Anything else?"

"I just have a few questions of my own," Nuru said. "Why do you believe a word your nephew says, how often do you wash your hands, and how long did it take you to write that note?"

"My nephew is a good man! I won't listen to your insinuation otherwise!"

"And the rest?"

"I wash my hands once a day. What of it?"

Nuru cleared his throat.

"HOW LONG DID IT TAKE YOU TO WRITE THAT NOTE!?" he yelled as loud as he could.

"Well- I-" Gram spluttered.

"He does not deny it, ladies and gentlemen! That note is a threat *from* him, *to* me!"

"Now- now wait just a minute! That's a lie!"

"Bluff check fail," the guard said, menacingly.

"But- but he left it here! You heard him admit it!"

"Look at that note closely and tell me, does that paper look like it belongs to a bard, or a butcher?" Nuru said.

All eyes craned to look in its direction. The guard walked over.

"Rather a lot of bloody fingerprints," he said.

"I own a piece of property," Nuru said. "There's a fence I've had built with my hard-earned money. Consider how expensive that is at my level. Inside, I'll be happy to show you, is a dead wight. There's an arrow there, matching another arrow stuck into the fence, and that arrow is where I found the note."

"And just what were you doing with a necrospawn abomination on your property?" Gram demanded.

"Neutral language," the guard warned again.

"Saving it. I wasn't high enough level to kill it. But Gram isn't. Go ask the Mercenary Guild representative who took the reward for the last glitched wight."

Gram's eyes opened wide.

"You- you- you knew!"

"I rest my case," Nuru said.

"You were using it to control that hellspawn lyena, I just know it! Some infernal ritual, or a pact! Admit it!"

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response," Nuru said.

"LIAR! Admit it!" Gram said, lunging forward with his fist raised.

He came up short, half a dozen sword points suddenly occupying the space between him and Nuru, held by grim-faced bystanders that couldn't just stand by.

"Gram STELTHMSTR3178. You are under arrest for harassment, false accusation, slander, and attempted unsanctioned PvP inside city limits," the guard said.

"What!? That's my True Name! You can't reveal that, it's against The Rules! And how could you possibly *know*!?"

The guard held up a set of heavy cuffs, glowing with a number of enchantments.

"I don't have to tell you the risks of fleeing with your True Name revealed, I hear you've participated in those hunts yourself. Place your hands in the manacles; they are warded to shield you from any ill effects until you have been given a chance to change your True Name. We've had a number of very unusual circumstances here in town lately. They saw fit to send us a Rules Lawyer to review them, in person as it were. He was the only one who could see such things as True Names, of course.

"I reveal this now to underscore the gravity of the charges against you. We take the public safety of our residents extremely seriously here, as there are so many low-classed and unclassed people who have nowhere else to go. The Mayor has given explicit instructions not to allow threatening behavior to affect our reputation as a family-friendly home, lest the next Expansion bring a new place where all the patrons and businesses will go, leaving us a ghost town after more than a thousand years of being the hometown of choice. I caution you against any further outbursts that might be considered threatening, as I have been authorized to render summary judgment if necessary."

Gram stood stiff-backed, trembling with rage, but said nothing. He allowed himself to be shackled and led away by another guard who had arrived.

Nuru took a deep breath.

"As for you... Nuru isn't it?"

He nodded.

"I need to verify the facts you've presented. I'll need to see the wight, and the arrows, before the verdict can be rendered. Once we're done, you're free to go. Someone will let you know the outcome of the trial."

"This way," Nuru said, leading him to his pasture.

*****

The guard extracted the arrow from the fence, and tossed the dead wight over his shoulder like it weighed nothing.

"Can you bring him up on charges of kill theft, too?"

"No. He had a quest, and you didn't."

"But I was gonna kill it."

"In a year, maybe."

"Fire Hand is a cheap scroll. It's vulnerable, or it was."

"You know The Rule same as everybody else. First to come is first served. Unless you care to claim HP was under 10% left."

"No. I understand," Nuru said.

"Then we're done here. I'd say don't leave town, but... you basically can't anyway. Don't get lost, I guess."

/Hey now, whatcha got there, mister?/

"Gods below, not you now."

"What's that? You say something?" the guard said.

"Nope," Nuru said.

Adana laughed in Nuru's head.

/You walked right into that one!/

Nuru waited for the guard to leave.

"Can I help you?" Nuru said.

/Don't take that tone with me. I was just checking up on you - making sure you didn't need anything, and weren't about to be in mortal danger - more consideration than you had for me, I might add. Clearly, you don't need any help taking care of the wight now./

"You are correct."

/When were you going to tell me about it, I wonder? When it 'became relevant', hmm? Seems quite relevant now if you ask me./

"Hey, I've been busy. I wasn't planning its death just yet, but here we are. Besides, it's just a more permanent solution than the status effect, which I already told you about."

/Clearly, you're not in danger for a little while. You don't mind if I have a little of this, do you?/

Nuru felt a sharp pain between his temples as his MP took a huge hit into the negative.

"Nrrgh! That is... very unpleasant, I'll have you know."

/Oh, I can tell. Excuse me for having my life on the line. You've brought it on yourself, you know./

"Fine... fine... I'll just lie here..." Nuru fell to the ground holding his head.

/Mmm, that's the good stuff. Sweet dreams, pact mate./

"Yeah, really feeling the love..." Nuru curled up into a ball and lay still.

/Who said anything about love? Certainly not me./

He drifted off to sleep, trying to come up with ways to get revenge - and failing.

*****

"I guess I deserved that," Nuru said, rubbing his face. "But dammit, she's a demon. Can't blame me for trying to protect myself."

His head still hurt a bit, and he didn't feel like practicing his drumming.

"Time to go see what anyone's got for me, if anything."

Nuru went by the inn, grabbed a bit to eat and some for later, and waited at his spot close to the Level Eleven+ gate.

"So, funny story."

"Ack!" Nuru turned sharply, almost falling over. "Oh, Ace. It's you."

"Dude. You alright? Party too hard yesterday?"

"Had a lovely time, thanks for asking. You were saying?"

"Heard a rumor the other day. Somebody talked to a Rules Lawyer."

"So? It happens sometimes."

"Description was an awful lot like you. Sound familiar?"

"Look, if it was me - and I'm not saying it was - I couldn't tell you about it. Can't discriminate against me either way, those are The Rules. So, what are you going to do about it?"

"Hey, woah. You already got a stormcloud hanging over you, metaphorically speaking. No need for me to do the rain dance."

"Then why bother asking?"

"Because I'm trying to figure you out, man. Who am I doing business with, here? What kind of risks am I exposing myself to? I started looking into these armor bits and I had to ask myself these questions. "

"Sorry to disappoint. You got anything to turn in?"

"Sure, sure. I just thought... I dunno. You might be a little more friendly to the guy helping you get into that secret society."

"...Excuse me?" Nuru said, blinking several times in surprise.

"Oh, good, that's a good one. Very believable. Better than my bluff check, I have to admit. Not my specialty. But you and I both know you were just at the library looking for more information on them. Seems you found an in, too; talked to that hot chick that guards the gateways, has all the connections. Perfect cover, you gotta admit, that 'travel service.' Had to go looking for answers myself, since you're so talkative."

Nuru just stared at him.

"Alright, alright. You don't admit anything. Good tradecraft, I should know, especially at your level. You're going places. And I know you'll sacrifice me in a heartbeat to get ahead; I'd do the same in your place. But maybe we can be buds, you know? I can be useful to you. Think about it."

"I'll believe it when I see it," Nuru said.

"You wound me! You think I'd come back empty handed? Look, come on, work with me here - you need me, at least for now."

"You think you're the only guy I've spoken to? This isn't an exclusive quest."

"Come onnnn, OK, OK, here. Here. I got a few pieces, alright? Here."

He held up three pieces: half a set, all matched. Bracers, shin guards, shoes.

"Hmm. Get lucky? Every single one of them had Resist Stun?"

"Well... you know. I get what you're going for, you want a full set. All matched, you know? Set bonus, somebody's got a special mission. Give me a few more days, I'll get the rest. I dropped the ones that didn't match, after I got three of them."

"Why'd you do that? I told you I'd give you the full amount. It's good money, you said so yourself. How do you know which set I want? I'm sure I never specified."

"Well, alright, so... here's the thing. I want to prove to you that I'm the guy you want. This won't be the last time, you know? You're not leaving town for several more levels. I know you're gonna get there, it's just a matter of time, obviously. You need somebody like me, somebody that can get things done out there. I can't tell you how many times I've heard that saying, 'good help is hard to find.' And I'm going to get you a full set. I wanted to make sure you knew - I'll be back. I've got a line on this chestplate, matches the rest, but it's gonna take me several days. I wanted to make sure you didn't run off to your secret initiation and leave me here with a nice piece. I mean it's worth money, but not like you're offering."

"And why did you drop the rest of them?"

"I want to be the first to get you a full set. There, I said it. I wanna be that guy. And the odds of anyone else completing this particular set without me are pretty slim, I have to say; that chest piece is super rare. So I'm going to keep grinding on this, keep getting you those pieces. One more week, no more, I swear. And so I thought, if I don't bring any of the other pieces... maybe nobody else gets you a complete set. If I'm lucky, maybe that's the only complete set you get. And it'll be me getting all the glory, all the credit. You need something, you'll know I'm your man."

"You're... auditioning?"

"That's right. And, you know, if you make it - hell, I know you will. *When* you make it. Maybe you can get me an introduction, eh?"

"You gotta get me those pieces first."

"I will! I will. Promise. I just needed to tell you that, so you still come back after that righteous EXP comes in you're expecting. I know you got something big - but come back, I'll have it for you. It'll be the best set. Trust me."

"Trust you? I dunno, Ace. I need someone that can follow directions."

"What do you mean?! Half a set! I got you half a set! I'm good for it. I bet nobody else got you that much."

"Nobody else dropped all the other set pieces either. It's about even, on balance. Get me the rest of them, all of them. Save them for last if you want, bring me that other set first, but I want them all. Understand?"

Ace took a deep breath.

"Man, tough customer."

"And I don't need someone who stalks my every move."

"Yeah, I get you, I'm done. You got all kinda people checking in on you now. Big players. Rules Lawyer big, even. And some hottie name dropped you to Nyala's Hand. I took one look at her and decided it was too much for me, but that was enough to tell me you have the right connections. And I want in. Your break is coming, and I wanna be there with you."

Nuru scratched the fresh scab on his neck.

"Yeah, steer clear of that one, for your own safety. Trust me."

"Hah! No problem, I got other places to be. Armor to steal, and such."

"What's with the name, anyway?"

Ace sighed, head drooping for a moment.

"Alright, laugh if you want to, I know this is gonna sound stupid. It's a nickname."

"Well, sure. Only noobs go around using their True Name casually."

"No, I mean it's short for something."

"What is it?"

"Asexual."

"Come again?"

"I'm asexual. A little joke I tell every time I introduce myself. 'I'm Ace.' People know something about me, and they don't even know it. Keeps life interesting."

"What do you mean, asexual? You got parts missing? Horrible training accident or what?"

"No, no. It's just... well, I dunno really why. I just... you know how you like girls?"

"Sure."

"You like guys too? You know, in a want-to-make-out-with-them kind of way?"

"Not really."

"Alright, alright, got it. It's simple for you, see? You don't like them, and you know it. Some people are bisexual, they like anybody, more or less. Well, I'm asexual - I don't like anybody. At least, not like that."

"You poor bastard."

"Hey, I don't need your pity. I see how things work between men and women - hell on earth, sometimes. Sure, there's good times too, but all the cheating, the drama, the breakups, the arguments, the lost sleep - who needs that, when there's quests to do? I mean, if that's your gig that's cool, no shame from me. You do you."

"Serious question. And uh, meaning no offense. What on earth do you live for? If you don't like women - why even stick around in this world? Pair bonding is what everybody does, you know. At least for a little while."

"I kinda like women, to be honest, but... only from a distance. They're pretty to look at, I admit. I can talk to them - I just don't want to get _too_ close. But let's be real here. You like food?"

"It's alright I guess. Some of it is better than others."

"Music?"

"Oh, very much."

"Theeere we go. See, there are other things in life to enjoy. It's not all about the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. I like having friends. I like food. Honestly, I love painting. I've got a small collection, and I do some myself on my rest days. You ever feel like music is speaking to you? Like, directly to your soul?"

"Yeah."

"That's how painting is for me. You understand?"

"You know, I think I do."

"Fabulous. I think we've made some real progress here. So I'm gonna go and let you get back to your business, get you some things you want. And maybe, just maybe, someday we'll be a team. Catch you in a week, or sooner."

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Nah. Already got what you owe me. Later!"

Nuru checked his purse. Sure enough, Ace had taken his payment already - exact change. He hadn't felt a thing. The man and his sudden grin vanished, and left a shining pile of armor behind.

"You don't fool me!" Nuru yelled to the empty woods. "You like your drama as much as the next man!"

Somewhere nearby, Ace burst out laughing. Nuru still couldn't tell where he'd gone.