Best Friends Forever

"Good to see you," said Claire. The other woman smiled the smile of one saved by the bell.

"I guess I should ask what's up?" said Cassandra.

"We need to sit down. I have a big favor for you to consider," said Claire.

"A favor? For you?" said Cassandra. "Consider it done."

"Hmm, I wish it were that easy," said Claire. "But no, this is a really big favor and if it were to work out, I would not only be grateful, but you would prosper like you never dreamed of prospering."

"Oh wow! I'm in, no matter what it is, I'm in," said Cassandra. Claire smirked.

"Yes, well, we'll see," said Claire. "But, first off, what are you having?"

"Oh yes, a martini if they still serve them here," said Cassandra, smiling. Claire waved at the girl who was manning the daytime shift at the bar and held up two fingers. The bartender nodded: she'd already been clued as to what was likely to be ordered.

The small talk that preceded the arrival of the martinis, was, well, small.

"So tell me, Claire, what is it that's so big a deal for you that you need my help," said Cassandra.

"Cassie, I know your divorce from what's his name, was a bad one. I have a friend that is in need of a woman. Bad in need!" she said. "You're in need of a man, and all . . ."

"You're matchmaking today!" said Cassandra, genuinely surprised.

"You could say that," said Claire.

"Okay," said Cassandra, "I'll bite. Who is it? Is he super ugly? Is that why you're running interference for the guy?" She was smiling. She was sure the guy wasn't ugly, probably one of her husband's employees.

"No, no, not ugly. It's my ex-husband," said Claire.

"Jimmy?" said Cassandra. "But he's . . ."

"Yes, he's handicapped," said Claire. "But he's the best guy in the world. You could do far worse. And with you on his arm I know I could get him to accept a job from my husband and then you two would be doing real good; trust me on that one." The look on her friend's face was not real encouraging.

"Claire, I agree, Jimmy's a great guy, but . . ." said Cassandra.

"Okay, I get it," said Claire. "Do me a favor, don't say anything about me asking you. Please," she said.

"You got it," said Cassandra.

******

"Yes, I talked to Cassie. She was embarrassed. Hell, I was embarrassed," said Claire.

"I can imagine," said Rodney.

"I'm finally getting a sense of just how hard it is for a guy in his situation. Compared to his problems my little concerns are pretty much bullshit!" she said. The man nodded.

"Yeah, I guess," he said.

"Anybody else on your list?" said Rodney.

"A couple, but one of them is a little old for him. The other one has some alimony coming in though the way I hear it it's not very much," said Claire, "so she might be a possibility, but in truth things don't look too good." He nodded, slowly.

"Well, we just gotta hope that something or someone will show up and solve the problem," he said. "I cannot believe that a man as good as he is at base cannot have any hope of finding true love out there. I mean after divorce, handicapped or not. Hey, what about talking to that guy at the Salvation Army, Captain Traynor?"

"Captain Traynor?" she said. "I don't know. Maybe. It might be worth a try."

"Yes, Captain Traynor, that's the ticket. We'll continue to try other means for now, but maybe he can be on the list for a future go," he said.

"Yes, that'll work, well it might," she said.

******

I was smiling a lot even if I was still in the hospital eating hospital food and wishing I had the means to get one of the nurses in bed with me: talk about wishful thinking!

Well I was well rested. And, now I'd got another visit from her. I couldn't believe it. I'd bitched at her. I'd told her to get lost and to stay lost. I'd flashed my dick at her shocked and no doubt disgusted face, but here she was again. Oh, and she wasn't alone.

"And you're here why?" I said. "I told you last time . . ."

"Shut the fuck up, Jimmy. For once just shut the fuck up and let me talk, okay!" she said. I sighed my most submissive sigh and waited all but snarling at her and her friend.

"Oh, and this is Roberta Shore," she said.

I snarled a "Why the hell are you here?" greeting at the newcomer. She smiled back at me, but perhaps with a bit of the same snarl that I had tendered her.

"Yes, you were ultimately nasty the last time I was here, so I've brought reinforcements this time around in case I have to beat you up. Got it?" said Claire, interrupting things.

"All of which begs the question as to why you're here. You know I don't want you or your man around here bugging me. There is nothing good can come from it, you being here, so why?" I said.

"Because you're family and we love you, Jimmy. And we are not going to just disappear because you're still bitter about the divorce—Jesus, Jimmy, after all this time.

"Anyway, we're going to be around whether you like it or not, period! Oh, and Rebecca says to tell you hello," she said.

"Rebecca didn't say that. Or if she did, it's because you put the words in her mouth. She doesn't love me, she loves the other guy. Uh—you know, Rodney something or other," I said, being as sarcastic as I could. She changed her apparent mood.

"So how are you feeling? Really?" said Claire, apparently really meaning it.

"Oh pretty good I guess, great actually. I feel like I could run a marathon. But alas, I have some physical limitations in that regard," I said.

"Funny," she said, "not"

"And how are you feeling?" I said.

"Huh?" she said.

"You know, are you well? Is everything going good at your place, the castle in the sky? I mean you know," I said.

"Yes, everything is fine. It could be for you too if you'd just agree to come home to us," she said.

"Oh yeah, and listen to my ex-wife and my ex-best friend getting it on while I masturbate in the next room. Yeah, well that's a picture that doesn't works for me. Well, you can imagine."

"Do you think that'd be a good picture to masturbate to, Roberta?" I said.

"Huh? I . . ." I don't . . ." she started.

"You don't know? Hmm, me either. But, at first blush I'd have to say that the odds would be massively against it. I mean the jealousy and all that I'd be beset with. Well, you can imagine," I said. Roberta looked decidedly unhappy with my using her as a foil to argue my case with my ex-wife.

We went back and forth for the next minutes with neither side giving quarter.

"Okay, okay, Jimmy. We'll call today a draw. But, the offer is open. You really need to rethink things. Oh, and thank you for not exposing yourself again," said Claire.

"Well, and thank you too," I said. "You know, for giving me another reason to masturbate. You know the image of two beautiful women talking sex with me and all.

"Oh, one more thing. Would you, the both of you, come nearer to me for just a second," I said.

"Huh? Why?" said Claire, looking inordinately suspicious.

"Look, I promise not to do anything untoward. Really, I swear," I said.

She nodded and she and her friend approached near to the bed. I took a long deep breath breathing in their scent. "Awe the scent of a woman, women!" I said. "There's nothing like it."

"Jimmy!" said Claire.

"Well, I can't get any of my porn sites on this damn TV, and it's still going to be another week before they let me outta here. So . . ." I said. "And even the porn sites only give you pics no scent of what's going on in the pics. I mean obviously."

"Jimmy! Stop it," said Claire. The two women frowned, turned, half waved, and left. I had to think that I'd won the match on points. A knockout? No, not that. But I did feel like I got my licks in.

******

"I can't," said Roberta. They were seated in a booth at a Denny's immediately around the corner

from the hospital. "That man is so bitter he may never get over it. He is a good looking cuss. Still, the no legs thing is a major downer, but, that said, not the worst thing in the world and overcomeable as far as I'm concerned. But, for a woman, especially this woman, to want to be with him, he'd have to be willing to try. I am not into being his mother. He is definitely not willing to try. No, can't do it."

"I understand, and he was at his worst today. He hates me. I mean I did dump him for his best friend as he correctly states. Couldn't help it, but that is not an excuse that he's ever going to accept or let me off the hook for. Anyway, Robby, thanks for giving the situation a look see. I more than appreciate it. And, the job I mentioned to you is yours for the taking regardless. Thanks again," said Claire.

******

"So your friend didn't go for it," said Rodney.

"No, and I couldn't blame her. He was at his absolute worst today. He even made us let him smell us. Talk about embarrassing!" said Claire. "That man is hurting so bad I mean I just don't know. I don't think he'd try to kill himself again, but who the hell knows for sure."

"Nobody knows something like that for sure," he said. "Well regardless, I'm not giving up. There may come a time when we have to, but I'm not at that place yet. We'll just keep the faith as long as we can that's all we can do, I guess," he said.

******

"Denise, you look to be down today," said Rodney to the secretary.

"I'm fine, sir," she said.

"Denise, I'm a friend, okay. What's the problem? Please," he said, pressing her. The thirty-eight year old woman was never down, but today she was, and her friend and boss wasn't letting it go. They'd been a team for the past fourteen years and Mister Rodney Pollard had come to depend on her. But, like anyone else, secretaries and money moguls alike could be stressed out and beset with personal problems. It was clear that today Rodney Pollard was not alone among the stressed and pressed.

"Sir, really, I am fine. It's my sister," she said.

"Your sister?" he said.

"Yes sir," she said. "She's a soldier. She just got back from the Middle East, Afghanistan. There was one of those bomb thingys. She was hurt bad, sir, very bad. The whole family is upset if you know what I mean."

"Oh, I see. I am so sorry, Denise. Is there anything I can do to help?" said Rodney Pollard.

"I don't think so, sir. She lost her left leg and her arm below the elbow," she said. "Kinda like your Mister Clausen I guess. It's very bad, sir. And, if that were not enough, her husband is divorcing her. Found his soulmate or so the asshole claims. I mean she hasn't got enough to deal with without her husband of ten years screwing her over! She's kinda down on men anymore."

The look on the face of the man was missed by the lady sitting at her desk, well, she was looking down so that kinda figured. Denise was a pretty girl. Would her sister also be pretty?

"Wow!" he said, finally. I know exactly how you feel. Yes, just like Mister Clausen."

"How is she getting on? I mean is she staying with family or . . ." he said.

"Yes, with mom and dad. But, they're old and can't really do a lot for her. She wants to get a job, but . . . well, sir, she's very depressed right now. She mostly just sits and broods or reads want ads that she mostly doesn't follow up on. I don't blame her of course. But . . ."

"I see," he said. "Look, Denise, we're having a barbecue at our place this weekend. Do you think you could get your sister to come? I will use the occasion to kind of informally interview her and maybe see what I can do about getting her a job that she might be able to handle. Whaddya say?"

"Sir? That would be wonderful. I mean if she could get a job . . ." said Denise.

"Yes, well, I do have some contacts. You know that as well as anybody on the planet," he said, smiling.

It was a long shot and that on two fronts. One: he'd have to persuade his ex-best friend to come to the barbecue. And two: the two of them, Denise's sister and James Clausen, would have to hit it off. If they did there might finally be some light at the end of the tunnel. He had some thinking to do, planning and thinking. Match making sucked, but in this case maybe, just maybe, not so much. He was moderately concerned about what the woman might look like, but that was a question that had to be left on the back burner at least for the moment.

CHAPTER 18:

"Barbecue, what barbecue?" said Claire.

"The one I decided on today. Denise has a sister that's had some very bad luck. So I invited the two of them to come to our barbecue.

"You know, we should try to get Jimmy to come too: he gets out of the hospital tomorrow. I'm going to be there to pick him up, and no he doesn't know it yet. But I think that the news that a bunch of women will be at the barbecue would give him a chance to use his smeller some more. That might entice him. Whaddya think?" said Rod, he was smiling.

"Not funny, Rod. He was very rude to Roberta. To her credit she didn't take offense, but he was a complete and total asshole if you know what I mean," she said.

"This isn't a matchmaking effort, well, it's not planned to be. But it is a gathering. I know he's lonely. Hell, he's said as much and he's said it often. I think it's time to go to a full court press and get our guy to join the rest of the human race," he said.

"Okay," she said. "Who knows maybe he'll propose to your secretary. Wouldn't that be a kick in the ass. She is single right?"

"Yes, she's single," said Rod. "And if I didn't mention it, so's her sister. I haven't met her, but according to Denise one of her sister's biggest problems is that she's down on men. A nasty divorce is what she told me. The asshole found his soulmate or so he told her, the sister, and needed a divorce," he said.

He didn't immediately comment on the look she gave him, but then he did. Her look communicated the undeniable fact that the man he was talking about sounded just like himself, Rodney Pollard. But of course in Rodney's case he'd stolen his best friend's wife. Not exactly the same thing, but close.

"Yeah, I know. The asshole does sound a lot like me," he said.

"And me too," said Claire. "So . . ."

"Nothing, but I did tell Denise that I would try to get her sister a job. She's evidently been looking for one but without success. I'll kind of quietly interview her. She just won't know I'm doing it," he said.

"Hmm, sounds like it's going to be an interesting barbecue. But, you gotta be the one to get our guy to come. He's not going to listen to me. You might want to take Rebecca with you too. That might get you over the hump with him so to speak," she said.

"Yes, that's a good idea. Yes, I will," he said.

******

The two of them were fidgeting as they waited in the room assigned to the purpose for the escape of their recalcitrant family member, Jimmy "no legs" Clausen.

"Remember, honey he is your daddy," said Rodney.

"Yes, dad, I know. And I like him too even if he doesn't believe me," said Rebecca. Her tone bespoke a feeling of exasperation, or maybe it was constipation; her de facto dad wasn't sure.

"Honey, we have to get him to the barbecue this weekend, it's critical. Okay?" he said.

"Okay, dad, but I don't know why this particular barbecue is so darn important said his daughter," she said.

"Just take it from me it is. Okay? I mean it, Becca. This is a time of turning points I can feel it. The man saved our lives. Whatever the cost, the rest of us, all of us, have to do what we can for the man. I know it's going to be dicey, but you above all are critical to the whole thing. Okay?" he said.

"Okay dad, okay! Sheesh!" she said. He shook his head, but slowly. He was worried.

The two of them turned at the same time as the man was wheeled into the room.

"Daddy!" exclaimed Rebecca. She went to him and hugged him.

"Wow! I was told I had a visitor, but not two visitors," I said. "Thank you for the greeting, Rebecca. It was nice."

"Nice to you see you, friend," said Rodney. I nodded. But I didn't say anything.

"I've gotten permission to wheel you outta here right away if you'll allow," said Rodney.

"Really, and who gave you that permission," I said.

"The head nurse actually," he said, nodding toward the nurses' station down the hall.

"Oh," I said.

"Yes, well, you need a ride. Yeah, you could all a cab, I guess, but letting us drop you would save you a couple of bucks and give us a chance," he motioned to himself and his daughter, "to talk a little. No pressure," he said, "promise."

The fact was it would save me a couple of bucks, accepting a ride from them. The fact was it would save me the best part of seventy-five bucks: Littleton was an almost two hour drive.

I nodded. "Okay," I said. Rebecca being there decided me. Had it been just him I likely would have turned him down in spite of the cost of a cab but with her in the mix I'd be able to talk to her and not so much to him. That worked for me.

"Thank you," he said. He came to the chair I was sitting in and took up wheeling duties for the ride down to the lobby and the exit. I was sure he had his car in the valet space waiting for me. Well, if the hospital had had a valet space he would have.

The fact was it didn't have one, but I'm sure he would've found a way to accomplish the same thing. He did have the bucks to do whatever he wanted to do and get almost anything he wanted to get.

I nodded my thanks of his thanks.

He had an SUV waiting. Getting in was going to be a problem. Well, I thought it was going to be a problem, but then it wasn't. The damn thing had an elevator built into the passenger side. Which allowed me to muscle myself into the elevator's bench and after the three foot ride to the passenger seat I was able to slide in of my own accord and get situated.

He had to have had the damn thing made special. I'd never seen or even heard of anything like it.

"Nice," I said.

"Thanks, I figured it would make things easier for me if not for you whenever you came over. You know when you finally get to the point where your insufferable pride would finally allow me to pick you up," he said.

I didn't answer him. My insufferable pride had nothing to do with things the way I saw them. It was more my overwhelming and undying rage at the betrayal of him and my wife that was getting in the way of allowing the things he wanted me to allow. Oh yeah! But for whatever reason I wasn't going to get into any of that today. I wasn't tired exactly. Well, maybe tired of being in bed so much and listening to the hospital shrink shrink me.

My system was clear of the drugs that had almost done me in. The cops, or the D.A. whichever, had had their day threatening me with jail time if I tried it again. Helluva thing laws against suicide attempts. Yeah, I just wanted to get out of there and get home and cook me up some grub that didn't taste like hospital healthy! He must have been reading my mind.

"You hungry?" he said. I looked over at him. Rebecca intervened.

"Daddy, can we go to Denny's?" she said. She was looking at me when she said it. That made up my mind for me.

"Okay, if your other dad's got the cash. I'm a little short today," I said.

"I got it," he said. "Denny's it is." Rebecca smiled. I read it as a smile of pride that her other dad was rich, but I could've been wrong about that.

We were halfway through our patty melts when he hit me with it. I should have been expecting it or something like it but I wasn't.

"Got a barbecue this weekend can I prevail upon you to come?" he said.

"Huh?" I said.

"Oh daddy, yes, please come, okay!" said Rebecca. I smirked. That's why my kid was there. He knew I'd have a harder time turning her down, that even though I had told her I didn't want to see any of them again including her. I smiled, and he caught it and realized that I'd caught him. His look told me he was expecting me to turn him down Rebecca's presence notwithstanding.

"I guess," I said. "I mean if I can bum a ride off of you. It's too long a ride from Littleton in the van and too expensive." The look on his face at my all too easy capitulation was actually comical.