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"Did he maybe not know who Tobias was?" Hans asked, kissing his wife's forehead.
"Not a chance. That boy catches everything." She giggled again. "Well, almost everything."
"Hmm? What didn't he catch?" the king asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Nothing you need to worry about, husband mine. Only something a mother needs to worry about." She said, kissing up her husband's neck and jaw.
Hans sighed, "Its Brigit, isn't it?"
"I am so glad that you are more observant than my father was." She grabbed his head and forced him to face her; giving him a scorching, soul deep kiss. When she finally separated from her husband's lips, she looked him in the eyes. "Enough of this for tonight, I need my husband to show me that he wants me as much today as he did that day he surprised my father by asking for my hand."
Hans smiled and without letting her up from his lap; stood with her in his arms and began walking towards their bedroom. "That is a request I will never grow tired of fulfilling."
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 8 years agoI read this shortly after you wrote it (actualy after Betrayal 06). Since then I have been in the hospital and in rehab, and have been restablishing a home so that I just now have a computer again. So I started the story again and have just finished Betrayal 03. Good to be involved again. I look forward to catching up and reading to the end. Thanks for all thetime and effort you have put into writing five stars all the way. Lyn
willieoneover 11 years agoI don't think NTVl need any help on how to write his story. I found you comment long and yawn worthy and had little to do with this awesome tale. If NTV wants a proof reader I am sure there are a number of us willing to help.lol
Drakanover 11 years agoI am sorry for my typos in my previous comment I am still getting used to Swype and if you get confused on some words draw lines between letters. Again sirry.
Drakanover 11 years agoI like the plot i was writing Some thing like this just near future not far future. I like the characters so far but there is one thing i see that quite a few writers here forget to do a lot. That is slowing down the speed and truly flesh out the foundation of the plot. You must remember we don't see what you see. Later on once the readers are fully meshed into your universe then you don't need so much detail because we already have all the details in our mind. If you move too fast we might accidentally misses a paragraph and end up completely lost. Too slow and we get bored too easily. There is a fine line in the speed best for stories. You're not going insanely fast Luke some stories but your missing out on some opportunities to maker us part of your universe. Here is a tip i use some times, take your story after you've saved it. Count put ten paragraphs and randomly delete one of them, dip this every ten paragraphs just don't delete two paragraphs in a row. Them reread your story if it makes ANY sense you are doing ok but might need some extra work on details unless you deleted an introduction or a plot development if you did then it's fine people will really realize they missed something and go back. If you read it and you can follow it you have hit it perfectly just DON'T SAVE THAT VERSION!! The balance between detail and speed is a precarious one but one that can easily change a food story into a great one.
