Betrayal's Hands

"He saved you from his bandits?" Cor asked, somewhat incredulous. "Then where are they all at?"

Teri's answer fit in with the pet theory Cor had been working on... a theory that made him no less nervous. "We were attacked but soldier's from Duth Darek that had tracked me. They killed most of the bandits and Krev saved me from them by taking me with him as he fled."

Cor nodded, frowning slightly at her continuing association with the bandits. Bandits were little better than lawless scum that prayed upon the old, the young, the weak, and the helpless. Fresh from a noble home and skilled in little more than embroidery, he imagined Teri fell under the helpless category.

"Bandits," he said, his voice dripping with disdain. Then he realized that he was little better than they were at many times. He chuckled, his self-deprecating tone sounding cruel.

"My fate amuses you?" Teri asked, her voice soft and her chin trembling at the thought that he was making fun of her.

"No," Cor said, shaking his head and looking away. "My fate amuses me."

"We'll camp here for the night," He said, changing the subject. "On the 'morrow we'll veer to the east and be free of the Darkwood."

"Where then?" Teri asked, glad that he continued to speak of them as being together. She did not know what she would do if he abandoned her.

The Nordlamarian stared at the darkening limbs of the trees above them. He sighed. "I'll not turn you in," he said at last, drawing a surprising exhalation of relief from her.

Cor turned and gave her a rare smile, which felt to her like a beam of sunshine. "Worry not, I may not have the honor of my ancestors, but some things I still hold dear."

"You've always been honorable with me," Teri said softly and consolingly, knowing that he spoke of a deep pain within him.

He shrugged. "My penance," he said with an air of finality on the topic.

"Who are your people? Are you not from Aradmath?"

Cor looked at her for a long moment, then glanced away to the north, almost as if he expected merely thinking the name would bring its attention upon him. "I was born in Nordlamar," he finally said.

Teri's eyes widened. Cor, her protector, savior, and champion, was a barbarian from the north! She remembered the woman her father had captured and tortured and shivered in spite of herself. She was glad that Cor did not see her involuntary shudder.

"Is it true, what they say of them?" Teri asked cautiously.

"What do they say?" Cor asked.

"That they are barbarians. Heathens that treat their women as equals?"

Cor chuckled and looked at her. "You don't consider yourself the equal of a man?"

"Well," Teri stammered, realizing she had backed herself into a corner. "I don't know... I mean, I think I could be, in some things. It depends upon the man..."

"Yes it does, and it depends upon the woman," Cor answered her. "It is true that Nordlamarians let every person, be they man or woman, determine their own worth and choose their own fate. To do less would be slavery."

"Then I think I would like to visit this place some day," Teri said, her mind running wild with the possibilities.

"It is to the north. Once we are free I will show you the way," Cor told her.

"You won't come?" Teri asked, her excitement fading with the speed of a crashing wave.

"I..." Cor hesitated, then he shook his head. "No, I can not."

"But, Cor... why?"

Cor opened his mouth, then closed it as his throat rebelled against him with the rising memories. He shook his head and forced out in a tightly controlled voice, "I'll show you the way, no more."

Teri stared at him, tears gathering. A chance lay open before her to escape Aradmath once and for all. Even the long reach of her father and Baron Darleth could not have her in Nordlamar. But, apparently, the arms of Cor would never reach her either. It was something that troubled her greatly.

"Get some sleep," Cor said, moving off silently into the woods to set a watch for them.

Teri watched him go and then let the first tears fall. She wiped them clear, knowing that crying accomplished nothing. Still, she had no idea what else to do. In the end she took Cor's advice and cleared a spot on the ground free of sticks and rocks. Stuffing her pack under her head and wrapping her cloak about her as a blanket, she fought her anxiety and tried to find the peace of sleep. It was a long time in coming to her.

*****

Sleep was Cor's enemy. It would not come, and then when it did, it brought the nightmares. He lay huddled in his blanket trying to think of anything but the stricken look on the girl's face when he had told her he would not travel back to Nordlamar.

He could not go back. Doing that would mean facing his family, most especially Anna, with the memory of how he had failed her. Facing Anna with what he had not done -- could not do. He frowned, the child had had no part in Makan's assault of Anna, it was not right that she had paid the price for it. His morbid introspection did not last long, however, as the clutching arms of sleep dragged him quickly into the dark abyss.

Chapter 15

"Why did we leave the forest?" Teri asked as they stood alone the edge of the Darkwood. The morning sun shone down upon them, offering the hopes of a pleasant day. In spite of it neither one felt their mood brightened.

"There are things in the northern reaches of the Darkwood you'd not want to run into," Cor said. "Things that make your last boyfriend look like a family pet."

Teri made a face at Cor behind his back for his comment about Krev, but otherwise let the barb go unanswered. Instead she asked, "So where do we go? This way leads to Aradmath."

"I told you I'd show you the way to Nordlamar," Cor said gruffly. "It's to the north. I'll take you through the fens on this side, then you're on your own."

"I don't want to go there," Teri lied in a quiet voice.

Cor glanced at her and saw that she was lying. He shook his head baffled by the contradictions posed in the small female. "It's a good place for a girl like you. Lots of people be happy to help you out, and you can meet a good man there, if you like."

Teri's jaw dropped. "How dare you," she said, stunned. "I don't need to meet a good man, I..." It was true, she did not want a good man. She wanted Cor.

"Fine," He snapped, interrupting her. Shrugging, he turned away from her before muttering, "There's plenty of good women you could meet too, if that's your mind."

Confused by this last comment, Teri remained too stunned by it to mount a retort. Cor started walking, keeping near the verge of the woods, and Teri was forced to trail after him. After a few minutes of walking in silence, Teri's face began to burn, suddenly realizing what he had meant by his last comment. She tucked her chin down, trying to hide her embarrassment from him. It was not unheard of in Aradmath, the joining of two women, but it was hardly polite conversation.

The pace he set was not so brutal as that of the prior day, and Teri found that she could keep up to the big man, although it took most of her energy and concentration to do so. She wondered for a brief moment if Cor could even out-walk Krev with his long legged pace.

She had little chance to talk throughout the day, and even when he stopped to rest she found herself to tired for thought. When she did catch her breath, embarrassment alone stayed her tongue. Cor's wit was rapier sharp, after all, and no matter what she said he always seemed to be able to infuriate her with his retort.

That night, fatigued and aching, she nevertheless stirred up the energy to ask of him, "Why can't you be nice?"

Cor looked at her, surprised by the blunt question. He almost laughed at her, then realized it might not be what she wanted by way of a response. He shook his head instead and muttered something under his breath about women.

"I saved you, didn't I?" He asked, annoyed. "I'm taking you somewhere where you'll be safe. I even kept you a maiden, as you claim to be."

He stood up from where he had been tending the fire and stared at her, then with a growl he turned and moved off into the darkness descending around the campsite. She caught something from him about never satisfying a woman as he stalked off to make sure nothing came at them from the swampy fens they were on the border of.

Teri, frustrated with Cor's strange behavior, shook her head. "Claim to be?" She kicked at an offensive dirt lump, "Why would I claim to be something I'm not?" She vented her frustrations aloud. Suddenly a thought occurred to her which had been hiding in the back of her consciousness for some time. "He thinks... that Krev... that I..." Hysterical laughter pealed from her and she collapsed against a tree trunk. Tears ran unheeded down her face, and the giggles simply could not be put down.

This was how Cor found her when he came storming back from the fen. "What the..." He reached out and shook her gently, and then realizing she was hysterical, and without thinking, he slapped her across the face. As soon as the blow connected, he was backing away. Teri had stopped laughing, and was sitting slumped against the tree with her hand over her face.

She had been slapped before. Much harder, in fact. Cor's blow almost seemed playful compared to Krev's heavy handed discipline. Still, she had not expected it. It had stung and surprised her, and the simple fact that he did it made her eyes fill with tears. She looked up at him through her fingers and saw the look on his face.

She gasped.

Teri had expected a glare or a look of smugness. What she saw made her heart open for him in spite of his brutality. It was brutality that, she now knew, was unintentional. He looked like someone that had just accidentally killed his own family. He wore regret, surprise, shock, embarrassment, shame, and fear plainly on his face for her to see.

"Cor," she said, letting her hands fall away. Already a red mark was appearing on her cheek.

He backed up another step, his hands coming up in front of him defensively. "I... No. No, not again!" He backed up another step and then whispered with moisture in his eyes and pain in his voice. "I'm sorry."

He was gone then, turning and stumbling not only away from the campsite, but into the fens.

"No!" Teri cried after him, scrambling to her feet and following into the marsh. "Wait! Please!" She stumbled on a hummock and splashed into the muddy water. When she looked up, he was gone. Determined not to let him flee to his death, she followed doggedly, stumbling and splashing in the fen water. "Don't leave me!" she wailed, suddenly afraid of what it might mean for them both if he continued to run. She might indeed lose her life, but from the look on his face, she felt it possible that Cor would lose his soul.

When he came to his senses, Cor was a good distance ahead of the girl in the dark marsh. He could hear her splashing about behind him. Stopping, he crouched in the dark, struggling to pull himself together. "Cor?" She called to him. "Please, I'm not hurt..." He could tell she was crying now, her voice growing hoarse with the tears. "Don't leave me alone..."

The fens were dark and there was an unpleasant smell rising from the murky water. Not the smell of plants and earth that Teri had expected, but more a stench of death, of rotting flesh and putrescence. The scent and the darkness, coupled with sounds echoing from hidden places, amplified Teri's fear.

"Please Cor..." Teri was now relatively sure he could not hear her. He was gone, and she was alone in this terrifying place. She continued to splash through the muddy water, her clothes soaked through and her body chilled to the bone. She started to shake, but more from fear than cold. She stopped moving and sat despondently on one of the taller hummocks rising from the marsh.

"How am I going to get out of this?" She wept aloud to herself, and then she straightened some. "At least if I die here, it will be better than going back." She sighed, and picked herself up to continue wading through the water.

Cor shuddered, still crouched in the shadows only a few paces ahead of the girl. His face was wet with tears he couldn't remember, and his heart still raced. He wondered for a moment how he had gotten himself into this mess, he was in no position to be responsible for a girl, even a pretty one like Teri. Gathering the tattered remnants of his dignity to his breast, he stepped out from his concealment.

Teri shrieked as a dark shape moved towards her from the dense brush. Flailing her arms wildly, she would have landed in one of the deeper pools if the blackness hadn't caught her first. She thrashed and struck out at her captor, until the black beast growled, "Stop that you little fool! Unless you'd like me to let you drown?"

Cor's voice sent little thrills up and down Teri's spine, and she began to weep in earnest her relief at having found him. "Thank the Lady you came back!" was what he thought he heard from the face pressed into his chest. His hand reached down and tipped her face up so that he could see her. He chuckled softly at the image she presented, all mud and weeds. Her pretty eyes peered solemnly out from behind a mask of mud.

"They wouldn't recognize you now." He smiled, feeling a bit better from her obvious joy at their reunion.

"No," she giggled, "I don't suppose they would at that."

The moment, tender and filled with promise, was fleeting. As much as the desires Cor had hidden deep within himself fought to be let loose, his caution overpowered them. "Come, the fens are no place to spend the night."

Teri's greatest concern was not the dangers of the swamp, but rather the fright she must look. She just knew that if she were cleaner Cor would have been unable to resist her, swamp or no. She reached up and wiped some of the grime from her cheeks, hoping to make a difference. She knew how precious the moment was; how rare and possibly unique the opportunity.

"Come, this is no place to dally," he said again, his tone softening the effects of the words.

Cor pulled away from her and turned, aiming for the southern edge of the fens. Teri hurried to stay close to him, reaching out and capturing her hand in his. Cor took a deep breath but otherwise made no sign he noticed.

Once back at their campsite Cor grudgingly allowed a small campfire so that Teri could warm herself. She, in turn, grew bold by the turn of events. "How much water do we have?" She asked him.

"Two skins we filled earlier, why?" Cor asked her, uncertain.

"I need to get out of these muddy clothes and clean them," she said, untying the laces on the crudely sewn dress she had made for herself over the winter.

Cor felt his heart beat faster. He looked forward to seeing her, but did not welcome the distraction and confusion it would also bring. Somewhat reluctantly he said, "Let it dry on you, there's no water safe to drink until we clear the fens."

Teri's final hopes were dashed against the rocks. She had been ready, then and there, to let Cor have her. She bit her lip and blinked away the tears of rejection. After a long moment of fighting to maintain her composure she asked, "may I at least wash my face?"

Cor gave her one of his rare smiles and nodded, "won't help, but go ahead."

Teri's mouth fell open in spite of herself. Fresh tears sprang to her eyes and a small squeak of protest escaped her mouth. She stood up and turned away, stomping a few feet away from him, where she hugged her arms about herself.

How could he? She could not believe that he could just so callously insult her like that. Perhaps the Aradmathian view of women being little better than property was true. Perhaps she was no more than a object of passing fancy.

She was surprised when she felt Cor's hand on her shoulder, pulling gently at her. She resisted at first, and only when he gave up and removed it did she turn to face him.

"I'm sorry," he said, the words sounding strange coming from a man such as he. "I meant it could not improve your looks."

Teri, without thinking, reached out to slap him. Cor jerked his face back, surprised by her speedy and sudden attack. Her fingers still grazed his lips and chin, leaving a tingling sensation in their passage.

"Gods, woman!" Cor said, holding his hands up defensively. "That's not it! I meant that you are pretty no matter what mess you've made of yourself!"

Teri's hand no covered her own face, and fresh tears ran from her eyes clearing a path of dirt and mud from her cheeks. "Cor... I'm sorry! I thought you meant... I thought..."

"You thought I was like your betrothed?" Cor guessed.

Teri nodded, too ashamed to speak.

Cor chuckled self-deprecatingly. "I'm probably worse," he said. Then he shrugged and turned away and headed back to their campsite.

Teri followed him, sitting down on a rock and reaching for her skin of water. She splashed some in her hands and then proceeded to rinse her face reasonably clean. She looked up at him and found him watching her afterwards.

"Less a swamp rat and more of a drowned rat," he said with a smile.

Teri understood he meant no insult this time, though his smile was what it took to convince her of it. She smiled in return and thanked him, then blurted out the question truly bothering her. "Why are you so hard on yourself? What horrors have you done?"

Cor blinked in surprise at her question, then sighed. "I've too much blood on my hands," he admitted finally, staring at her challengingly.

"Too much blood? You were a soldier, weren't you?"

Cor shrugged. "Yes, I was."

Teri looked at him curiously. Something about his manner clued her in that she had guessed poorly. "That's not it, is it?"

Cor chuckled darkly again. "This is no game, lass. I was a soldier, that's where I learned how to kill. It's what I do best," he said. Then, in almost a whisper he admitted, "and I learned that it's easy to do... more so when the innocent fall before me."

Teri's eyes widened at his vague but chilling confession. She could not imagine the man that had saved her butchering the innocent. It seemed so out of character. Sure, he had his grumpy moments -- a lot of them, in fact. But even at his worst she could not imagine him committing such an evil action.

"I don't know what you did, nor who you are," Teri said softly and slowly, making sure each word was spoken as heartfelt as she meant it. "But I do know that I can not see such a person in you."

"You don't know me," he said. Anxious to be done with the conversation, he rose up from his seat. "I'll take watch, get some sleep."

"Cor, wait!" Teri said.

With an impatient pose he turned to face her. "What?"

Pressing the time she had remaining to her, she said. "I've grown to know you well over the winter and now. You are bothered, true, but you are a caring and gentle person. One who only commits to force when no other option is available."

Sarcastically, he said, "like when I slapped you earlier."

Teri shook her head emphatically. "No! I let my emotions get control of me and needed it, I think, to make me stop. I realized that you thought I loved Krev, or that I had lain with him."

"And that amuses you?"

"Yes, it does," she said, smiling. Her smile faded as she made herself remember her captivity to the half-ogre. "Krev was a monster and a brute. At best I could get him to talk with me at times, but I was his slave. He made me do things for him, some unpleasant, some horrible."

"And yet you remain a maiden?" Cor asked, his tone one of disbelief.

Teri could accept his suspicion at her claim. It was a bold one to make, that a simple bandit would leave her, a young and attractive woman, untouched. "He insisted that I would fetch a better price as a maiden."

Cor nodded, understanding the claim as possible. "He made me do other things for him in place of that," Teri openly admitted.