Beyond Limits Ch. 04

She felt good—very good—and I groaned and started sliding my hips forward, fucking her hand, my arms pulling the clips tight. If this was subbing, then this wasn't bad, So far all I was doing was standing there and being serviced.

"Come on, April. Aren't you going to whip me, do something else to me?"

She pulled back and gave me a shy, wicked little smile. "So you're going to be giving the orders? I don't think so, Russell. We're going to do what I want."

She let go of me and worked her way behind me. The problem with being tied in the doorway was that anytime April wanted to switch from being in front of me to behind me, she had to squeeze by me, but she didn't seem to mind. She slipped behind me now and I couldn't tell what she was doing until she tied a blindfold around my eyes, and for a moment I felt fear.

I don't like blindfolds. I don't like losing my eyesight. I trusted April, of course, but still, I didn't like losing my eyesight and I'd never used a blindfold on her.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Did I tell you to speak?" She said it like it wasn't really a question. "Do you need a gag too? You speak only when spoken to."

I shut my mouth and listened to the sounds behind me. It sounded like April was undressing, then going through the box of toys, and suddenly I was getting nervous. It was the blindfold more than anything, and April's sudden change in demeanor. I'd thought that having me helpless would elicit in her the same kind of emotions that having her helpless brought out in me, feelings of overwhelming lust and passion. But it didn't seem to. Instead it seemed to make her colder and more calculating. I felt vulnerable and exposed.

I felt her behind me and then her nipples touched my back, warm and insistent. Her hands reached around and gripped my cock and I realized she was wearing gloves. They could only be the black satin opera gloves I'd bought her that we'd never used, the palms cold and greasy with some sort of lubricant which she slathered all over my cock and balls. One hand massaged my nuts while the other frigged my shaft in an agonizingly slow, milking motion.

"Okay," she whispered in my ear. "If baby has something to say, now's the time to say it."

"Oh God, April! God, that's good!" I hung there breathless as she beat me off, slowly stroking my massive cock. "Oh yes, baby! Faster! Make me come, April! Faster!"

She bit my ear lobe and I winced at the feel of her hot breath and felt chills shoot up my spine.

"First of all, you call me 'Mistress'," she hissed. "Second of all, you don't tell me how to do anything, but if you really need tobeg for something, the way to do it is,'Please, Mistress, please!' Understand, bitch?"

She stepped away from me and I felt the flogger slap down over my ass. It stung. I'd never been whipped before in my life, and it shocked me, reminding me I was in her control, nothing more than an animal. My eyes flew open, but there was nothing to see. I was blindfolded. My cock jerked as I squeezed my buttocks together to escape the whip. It was humiliating.

I yanked at my bonds but I was held securely. I couldn't move.

I felt a surge of fury rocket through my body, something instinctive and mindless, hot as acid, raw as pure testosterone, and I fought it down, swallowed it down in a red rage. It was the anger at being controlled, of being helpless in her hands. I was bigger than her, stronger. This wasn't right! But then, I'd asked for this. I'dbegged her for this, insisted.

"Yes, Mistress," I said.

Thwaackkk!!!

The flogger whipped down against my ass again at right angles to the first stroke, just the way I would have done it. The fall snapped around to catch me on the hip. Again I jerked in my bonds and thrust my hips out and a drop of pre-cum seeped from the tip of my cock as a deep, glowing warmth melted into my ass.

"Say 'Thank you!'" April said.

"Thank you, Mistress!"

"Good," she said. "You're learning."

She stepped up and pressed behind me again and her tits spread over my back. My ass felt hot where she'd lashed me and she passed her greasy hand over my buttock and then dug her fingers in, then spanked me, catching me surprise again and making me gasp. Reaching around, she grabbed my cock in one hand and massaged my balls gently with the other, resuming that languid, torturous masturbation, pumping my dick through the greasy tube of her fist and sliding my nuts on the palm of her hand like they were dice..

I stood there, my arms up, my legs rigid and jaw set, unable to see anything as April slowly worked me off like a milking machine, her hands making thick, viscous sounds on the pole of my dick. She left my balls and used that hand to grip my ass and begin to delve into my crack, and then I felt her middle finger slide down to my asshole and start to press. I instinctively clenched my cheeks hard and thrust my hips forward, pulled at the cuffs as if I could pull myself away.

"Jesus! April—Mistress! No!"

She slapped my ass. "Open up! You belong to me now, Russell—slave—that was the deal."

"Christ!"

She was right. I'd promised her anything, but I hadn't counted on this. I couldn't tell her to stop. Her finger continued to press at my asshole and I tried to relax, holding tight to the clips on the cuffs. Her finger tip entered me, just up to the first knuckle, but I felt totally violated, humiliated, and weirdly thrilled and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Her finger tip entered my asshole and I groaned.

At once I felt pre-ejaculatory spasms in my prostate and my prick reared up like a spitting cobra, confused about what was happening. I pulled at the clips but they held me tight, and the invasion of my ass made me thrust my hips out farther as my toes dug into the bare wooden floorboards, hungry for purchase. April stayed right with me, though, one gloved hand pressing into my asshole, the other slowly pumping my cock.

"You want it faster, slave? Then ask. Beg," she whispered in my ear.

"April—" I gasped as she shoved her finger farther into my ass. I shut up.

"Who owns you? Who owns you now?" she hissed.

This was not what I'd expected. I thought I'd be played with, maybe whipped, and I figured I could take that—masturbated, fucked; not ordered around and used, blindfolded and denied and ass-fucked like this. April had been right: there was more to subbing than I'd thought. You didn't just let your body be passively used; you actively gave yourself, put yourself out there, your pride, your self-respect, even your will. This was more than I'd bargained for.

She pumped me, her finger sliding in and out of my ass, and weird thrills shot through my prostate. Come began to seep from my cock and leaked in a long stream from the tip, the sensation like a long, drawn-out mini-orgasm that made me gasp and sob and shudder. My cock, my balls, my entire male anatomy was like a toy in her hands.

She pressed her body against me, one hand up my ass, the other pumping my drooling cock. "Give it to me, Russell! Give it to me!"

Give it to her? Give her what?

"Oh God, April! April, do it!"

It occurred to me that this was what I'd been expecting Lexi to give me. Was it so unreasonable? Was it asking too much? Just how did I go about giving it to April anyhow? It was more than a case of mere obedience. I'd have to clear my will, my desires. I'd have to become an extension of April's desires. I didn't know if I could do this.

April squeezed around me again. She pulled her finger from my ass and squeezed around me so that she was in front of me, then took off my blindfold so I could see her. Her face was a mask of excitement, her eyes glowing, her jaw set, her nipples peaked and stiff. She held the short flogger in her right hand and she'd pinned her hair up on her head when she'd been behind me so her neck was exposed, a few wispy blonde hairs trailing down the back, and something about that delicate grace coupled with the power she now wielded over me struck me with unexpected force. Female power was different from male. It was seductive anddrawing. It pulled on you. But it was every bit as intense as male power, and I was its willing prisoner. I wanted suddenly to surrender, to give up to her and let her engulf me.

Behind her excitement I could tell she was somewhat embarrassed by the position she was in, by having this power, and yet she wasn't going to let embarrassment stop her. My little sub had the whip now, and she lashed the flogger against my chest, back and forth with erotic abandon, moving it lower with each stroke. It hurt vaguely, like being whipped with harsh grass. It left my skin glowing and alive. A few more strokes and she was at my prick and loins. She whipped me there and I pushed my cock out to take it, wanting the fierceness on my dick.

"Yes!" I moaned. "Do it!"

I thrust my hips out to take the lashing, the pain and sensation. It only made me harder. The leather thongs of the flogger wrapped around my cock and slapped against my belly, reddening my skin, and it was as if April were taking revenge on all cocks everywhere, trying to establish dominion over cocks as her nemesis and arch-enemy, the black fall of the flogger hissing down with a vicious sting over my purplish, aching, prick and just seeming to make him harder and angrier. Her face was set, determined, lustful and wild, as if she couldn't even believe what she was doing, and when one stroke went amiss and a thong hit my balls and made me groan in real pain, her eyes seemed to light up suddenly with an unnatural light. She quickly tossed the flogger aside.

She dropped to her knees and peeled off the greasy gloves, then used one of them to wipe my cock clean, teasing me, taunting me. I stood there looking down at her, unable to move hand or foot as she faced my turgid prick. She took my cock in her hand and squeezed, then opened her mouth wide. She pumped it, letting a big drop of pre-cum drip obscenely onto her waiting tongue

"Come on, slave," she said from her knees. "You want it in my mouth? Beg me. Beg me to take you. Come on, beg!"

But suddenly I wasn't begging. I was on fire and furious, swearing, angry, filled with lust: "Oh God, April! Suck me! Take me in your mouth and get me off! I need you baby! Please! Just touch me! I can't stand it. Suck it, baby, suck it! I need you so much! I'll die, baby! I'll die!"

And I did need her. At the moment I needed her desperately. I was all desire for her, a child for her, reduced to infantile desire, and I was aware of how pitiful I felt, how unmanned. It was like I was no longer Russell, the me I knew. I was nothing but that load of semen in my balls, aching for release, tiny and helpless, useless without her body to accept me. My strength had become need, my muscle had become weakness, and it was only her beauty that could save me, the ripeness of her tits, her swollen lips, the slit between her legs.

For a moment I thought I knew what it would be to submit, to let myself go into her, to give myself totally, and had she sucked me then, she might have had me. But no, I doubt it. I was still too set on having her myself, on having her my way, and I felt that urge to surrender for only a moment before a furious anger took its place, a willful need, and I snapped back into myself with a wild savagery, wanting relief, hungry for her, and needing for her to take me.

She teased me, moving her head away, flicking me with her tongue, and I seethed inside with a mixture of rage and need. April picked up the flogger again, denied me, reached around through my legs and flogged my ass, the fall of the whip landing on my skin with a wicked hiss but I hardly felt it. I was on fire, totally focused on her mouth, and I bent my knees and pushed my hips out so I was hanging from the cuffs like I was crucified, my erection waving like a blind man's cane, my balls swollen and dangling beneath me, thinking of nothing but of getting her to suck me and getting off. The leather cuffs creaked and the door frame groaned.

"Control yourself, slave!" she commanded. "Or you'll get nothing at all."

"Please!" I snarled, remembering my manners. "I need to come! Please!"

Having to depend on her touch was driving me crazy. Being used like this was making me furious. The sheer frustration was tearing me apart.

I yanked on the cuffs, pulled on them in spasms of anger and impatience I wasn't even aware of, my muscles flexing. On one level I knew I was supposed to surrender to her and somehow give her all this energy and need but I had no idea how to do it. I had no idea how to let go. I pulled so hard that one of the steel rings on the cuffs stretched and opened and it slipped off the clip, freeing my hand.

"Oh God!" April cried in sudden alarm. "Russell! No!"

I didn't know what I was doing. It never occurred to me this wasn't supposed to happen, that I wasn't supposed to free myself. April looked on in shock as I grabbed her hair and pulled her onto my cock, thrust it deep into her hot, liquid mouth and groaned with pleasure. Relief at last! She dropped the flogger, opened her jaw and scrambled to seize hold of my hips as I crushed her face against me. She went limp, sucking defensively at my cock. I reached up and freed my other hand, then used both of them to hold her head against me and began to fuck her, holding her face like an animal pelt against my loins, reasserting my control, my dominion, my need for her.

Subbing was forgotten. Our deal was forgotten. All that mattered was having her, getting my cock into that soft, warm, wet mouth, and April reverted too. She ceased her role as domme and slipped back into what she'd been before, submissive and compliant, there to be used and fucked, her mouth wide open as she clung to me in desperation, open for me, spread for me, her body jarred by my brutal, animal thrusts which almost lifted her off her knees.

It didn't take me long. It didn't take me long at all. A dozen thrusts maybe, not much more than that. I'd already been on the edge when I broke the cuff. That's what had given me such insane animal strength, and now the fury just exploded out of me, just exploded. I didn't bother trying to keep it in her mouth. I pulled it out and shot it all over, as if she wasn't capable of containing the force, as if it might blow her apart.

"Oh!" she gasped. "Oh! Oh!"

I grabbed my shaft and held it over her and my semen rained down on her from a gushing white fountain, coating her face and lips, anointing and desecrating her, something sacred and foul. I held her there and made her take it. I gloried in the fact that she took it. It made me swell with unholy pride, and with a sick and twisted love.

April was overcome. She kissed me, feverish and adoring. She kissed my thighs and my cock and she turned her face up to the rain of come as if to the sun as if splattered and dripped on her face. She rubbed her face against my cock and balls, on fire for me.

"God," she gasped. "Russell, I love you like that! Such an animal! So alive!"

I shook my head in denial, ashamed. I'd failed at what I'd set out to do. I'd lost control.

"You see?" she asked. "You're no sub. You can't give that up, that urge to take. You can't let someone else take from you."

Guilt ran through me and chagrin, simple, fleshy embarrassment at my own lack of control, at what an idiot I'd been to even suggest this whole thing. It was so obvious now that April had been right from the start, that I would have seen that if I'd only taken a moment to reflect.

I tried to change the subject. "I thought you didn't believe in subs and doms."

"You know what I mean. I mean, maybe there aren't real types, but there is such a thing as subbing, and when you do it you have to give something away, and you can't do it. It's not that it's a flaw. It's just that you can't. It's not in you to give away. Just like in domming you have to take that thing too. I can't take it. It's not in me to take it."

I unbuckled the collar from my neck. It suddenly felt uncomfortable and tight. I dropped it on the floor and the leash snaked upon itself with a metallic hiss.

I helped April to her feet and led her to the bed. She still held the whip. She held it like a scepter. We lay down together, or rather, I laid April down, then fell into bed next to her and pulled her to me and she molded herself against my body.

"What is that thing you give away or take?" I asked. I wanted an answer even though I knew she wouldn't be able to tell me.

"I don't know. Love. Or yourself. Your soul."

"Your soul," I repeated.

It occurred to me that April was talking about that part of Lexi I'd never received, never had. She'd never been able to give it away, at least not to me, and I wondered now whether she'd really managed to give it to Cormac or whether she just thought she had, whether she was really capable of giving it to anyone. But I didn't want to think about her now. I didn't want her here. I was tired of thinking about her, sick of her. I didn't want her anywhere near me, not after what April had just given me, because April had given it to me, and for the moment, that held the darkness at bay

"How do you do that?" I asked her. "How do you give yourself like that?"

She turned in my arms to face me and took my hand and put it on her breast. "Give myself?" she asked. "What do you mean?"

"You know. When we're together. When I tell you to do something. When I tie you. Just before, when I broke loose and took your mouth."

She smiled shyly. "I don't know. I'm not aware of it. You need me and I'm there, Russell. I want to be there for you so I am. I want to be there for you in a way I don't want to be there for anyone else. Not for Brandon or anyone else. They don't seem to need me like you do. You're like fire to me, Russell, and I want to give you everything. I need to give it to you. I don't know if you can understand."

But I could understand, and her words made me dizzy, made my heart race. She said them so matter-of-factly, her eyes on my lips, this beautiful woman in my bed, and what could I say to her in return? She reached out and touched my mouth as if in apology and I took her hand and kissed her fingers. I was burning even then: burning for her, and I did need her. But how could I tell her how I needed her now without sounding patronizing or contrite? I needed her shield of love around me. I needed her fierce, giving desire. I needed to drown in it, die in it, submit totally to it, and yet I'd just failed as her submissive. I'd failed when she'd tried to dominate me and cast the net of her desire over me. I didn't have the patience or the meekness orsomething—I didn't know what. I could feel it; some stubbornness in me, but I couldn't name it. I knew it was the same thing that was in Lexi

I grabbed her ass and rolled her over so she was on top of me, her legs on either side of my hips. We were both naked.

"Take it from me," I said. "Make me suffer for you."

"Oh Russell! I don't know how. And you just came"

"Not enough," I said. "And you do. You do. And look, I'm hard already! I'll show you how to do it. I'll show you how to make me suffer. Tell me not to move! Don't let me move. I'm your prisoner."

I spread her legs wider and pushed her down so my cock touched her hot, sticky slit, Her breasts were squashed flat against my chest, glued to me with sweat, her hands under my shoulders. She moved her ass, grinding my shaft against her pussy, and she sighed, her breath like fire against my face.

"Just take the tip inside you, April. Get up on your knees and just fuck the very tip of my cock and don't let me come. You can do that. It'll drive me crazy. There's the whip. Get it. Get it, baby, and hit me with it if I move a hair. Hit my fucking balls with it if I so much as move a muscle, understand? You're the domme. Domme me. Rule me. Make me suffer for you, I want to feel you as pain and pleasure, as everything."