Bianca & I

Waking up the next morning was different than any other morning. Today I woke up and my first thought was to whether I had dreamt the events of last night. This certainly wasn't my bed and this certainly wasn't my bedroom. I looked over to the alarm clock on the bedside table. It was 7:30 in the morning. Outside, the first rays of sunlight were peering through the curtains. But more importantly, I saw a pair of pink panties on the floor. I could see some other items of clothing strewn on the floor from where I laid. I smiled, it wasn't a dream. I turned over in bed and to see Bianca lying naked beside me. She laid on her back as she slept, a serene expression on her face, her hair a tangled mess, the sheets draped across only the lower half of her body, one long naked leg out of the covers, her breasts rising and falling alluringly with every breath she took.

I watched her sleep for a long time. I smiled as she unconsciously moved her hand up to her left breast and rubbed her nipple slightly in her sleep. I slowly and gently moved my hand to cup her breast. Once more, Bianca's hand instinctively moved to her breast, this time she touched my hand instead. Beneath my hand, I could feel the warmth from her breasts, and above I could feel her hand against mine. Her slender fingers interlocking with my own. With a simple touch and gentle squeeze of her firm and ample breast, the memories from last night flooded back to me. We had made love in the dark, so to see her body so clearly in the morning light was still a new experience. But the touch felt the same.

As I lay on my side facing her, I continued my visual exploration of her body. All those sexy curves which the sheets didn't do much to hide were revealed to me. I moved my hand from one breast onto the other. My hand lingered there for several moments, gently brushing her nipple with my thumb before I moved to nestle may hand in between her breasts. Whereas the skin all over her body was cool, in between her breasts, it was anything but. I stopped for a moment just to think about things for a second.

Two week ago, this scene right here, would've seemed like an impossibility. Hell, the odds of me and her in the same room would've seemed remote two weeks ago. But here we were. I think in the back of my mind, I've been waiting for this for a long long time. Not that I ever would've admitted to it. But now that we're both here, in bed, and obviously not "just friends", I wanted the whole world to know. She was mine. I couldn't help but think to myself, how the fuck did this happen. Actually, I know exactly how it happened. Three years of close friendship, all the while mild flirty started to creep in. One year of zero contact. And then the events of the three days. Just three days and everything between us changed. These three days.........

***

THREE DAYS AGO

Here was a familiar feeling I thought as I stared blankly at my phone, just waiting for a reply text. She normally doesn't reply promptly. Actually, Bianca never replies promptly. I don't know why today would be any exception, but I continued to sit there and stare.

Perhaps some context would help. Bianca, my closest high school friend, now finds herself in the category of people who I would list as having fallen out of touch with. I like to think of myself as an island, not a very social person, stay in on a Friday night type of guy, but Bianca was the one person girl I was always willing to change for. At first I just figured that with her, I had reached a new level of platonic friendship that I had never reached with anyone else. But of course, typically, it took me until high school was over and University started that I finally realised I had true feelings for her. For any other person this wouldn't be much of a problem. But I relied on school to maintain my friendships. The consistency, the institutionalisation, the thought that day after day you will keep seeing these people. And if you're lucky, it's people you like. It's a wonderful institution, school is. You come there to learn but only a mere 4 years afterwards, you can barely recall any of the mathematics or English literature but what you do remember is the people. For me, it wasn't plural, it was singular, it was Bianca.

But university is a different beast, it seems the same, go to a building, study, meet people, go home. But it's different. Less hours for starters, a lot more people in your lectures and tutorials, you never seem to have the same people in your class one semester as you did the last. It's harder to build friendships in an environment like this, and furthermore, your hours spent studying seems to be tenfold that of high school. Doesn't leave much time for old friends.

So that's what happened with Bianca and I. Notwithstanding the fact I was a social cripple a lot of the times, studying really took up all our time. In the end, we started to fall out of touch. Actually, we had fallen out of touch. Only yesterday did realise that I hadn't seen her in almost a year. I couldn't really recall when our last meeting was. I think we when we bumped into each other in a coffee shop. I don't remember what we talked about; I just know it was so long ago. But I do remember our friendship slowly declining since high school.

So here I was, a year later, sending her a message in the vain hope that she would reply and we'd go out and get lunch some day. All the while I tried to recall old times, and was thinking what I should do about these feelings of mine should she come back into my life again in a big way. I don't know why I'm waiting here hoping the phone will start vibrating. She never replies that quickly. If anything, I shouldn't expect a message for another 3-

And suddenly the phone burst to life. I picked it up immediately, opened the message. And lo and behold, it was from Bianca. It read:

"Hey Nate, so gr8 2 here from u. I'm sry but I cant do thursday, I hav a lecture on @ that time-

My heart sank. I wasn't surprised. I had gotten this message and variations of it many times. She could never fit me into her schedule. But then I saw there was more to the message. I half heartedly scrolled down not expecting much.

"-but wat r u doing now? I can use a study break."

Needless to say, I stood up in the middle of my lecture and got the hell out of there quietly.

***

It's a strange feeling meeting up with someone who you hadn't seen in over 12 months. You wonder if the familiarity is still there; the friendliness and the warmth. And then you wonder why you hadn't heard from each other in so long. It couldn't just have been because we've been too busy with university. The summer and semester breaks are more than ample. I began to wonder if it was something I had said. This is of course how my brain usually is. Full of paranoia and self assessment.

Then she walked in the door. In a café full of elderly people and high school students skipping class, she stood out very brightly. I had forgotten how beautiful she looked. Her hair was still at shoulder length; dark and wavy as ever. She looked slightly slimmer than I remembered but still retained that bell curve shaped body. Had she been working out? I could swear her breasts were larger. Not huge, just the normal size breasts for a girl her size and age. She always did have a bit of a flat chest. Maybe it was just the shirt that accentuated that particular feature today. Or maybe I should wave her over to the table instead of staring at her breasts. And that's exactly what I did. She came over, smiled and moved to sit down. Should I have hugged her, I thought to myself. We were always close but never really showed it through hugs and cheek kisses. She took her seat opposite me and casually said,

'Hey Nate.'

'I'm not one for clichés but you don't call, you don't write,' I said jokingly.

'It's horrible I know. How long ago since we last saw each other?'

'10 and a half months but who's counting,' I said dryly.

'You should've called sooner.'

'I did. You didn't respond.'

She covered her mouth with her hand and said, 'Crap! I'm so sorry. I remember that text message you sent me now. I meant to reply to it but, well, you know me.'

I laughed. 'Don't apologise. It's no ones fault. The important thing is that you're here now. Coffee?' I asked gesturing to the front counter.

Bianca stared outside for a moment and then back at me. 'Are you kidding? It's sweltering outside. I had to stop by my gym about an hour ago just to take another shower.'

'So......that's a no on the coffee then?'

She laughed and finally sat back in her chair and relaxed. 'Alright, I'll admit it. I've missed you. And I don't say that to many people, least of all, guys. So you're extra lucky.'

I smiled. 'What would Jonathan think if he heard that?'

She stopped smiling briefly before saying. 'John and I broke a while ago.'

'Oh I'm sorry,' I said instinctively.

To my surprised Bianca giggled and said, 'You're so full of shit.'

'What? I always liked John.'

Bianca scoffed. 'No you didn't. You never liked him. And you especially didn't like us together.'

'Says who?' I protested.

'You did,' she chuckled. 'After we broke up shortly after high school.'

She just shook her head and we both laughed. We just looked at each other smiling. It seemed as if we couldn't keep our eyes off of each other.

I laughed, 'Fair enough. And I still stand by that. Fact of the matter is, I only liked him because he made you happy. But then again, a lot of better guys could also do the same.'

Bianca averted her gaze and I think for a moment, she smiled. 'So, she says, changing the subject. In the year since I last saw you, anyone special pop into your life. Are you seeing a special someone?' she asked.

'Bianca, it's me we're talking about here. I get obsessed with girls and just end up doing nothing but lurking their Facebook page.'

'Like you did with Jane back in high school.'

I smiled. 'Actually, I stalked her Myspace page in high school.'

We both smiled and continued to look at each other. Neither of us said anything for about 30 seconds. We were probably the only people at a table in the café who weren't talking. I think in those seconds, our minds just went back to high school as we remembered old times. Well, my mind did anyway. The whole time though, I was still looking right into her eyes. They're blue, I never knew she had blue eyes. Finally I broke the silence.

'I sometimes forget how much we told each other.'

'Am I still the only person to know about your infamous high school crush on Jane?'

'You were the first. But no, a few other people know about it now. Even Jane knows now that I had a crush on her now.'

'She does? How did that happen?

'Yeah, we kinda had a short little thing. And no one knows about that except me and her.'

'Really? You and Jane for real?! I'm flattered you told me that. I don't understand why you did but I'm flattered,' she said.

I leaned forward. She took that as a signal to sit up straight. I started slowly. 'We were the closest of friends in year 12. Told each other secrets and confided in each other and all that crap. But after high school, I don't know, we kinda lost something. Can't blame a guy for wanting to get it back.'

'I don't think we lost anything. In fact, out of all my high school friends, I probably see you most often.'

'Me?! I haven't seen you in almost a year,' I paused for a moment before saying.

She shrugged, 'Even so. '

I sat back in my chair, somewhat happy with this revelation. I looked at Bianca who seemed unsure of something. I was about to prompt her when she asked me,

'So you and Jane huh? Is it over?' she said obviously choosing her words carefully.

'Yeah, it was over pretty quickly.'

'What happened?'

'Well, you chase after a girl for three years and when you catch up with her, you're so exhausted that all you want to do is crash on a bed.'

Bianca had a bemused look on her face. Almost like she didn't quite know whether to feel pity or laugh. Or she might not have known what the hell I was talking about. And so I explained,

'For the record, she was on the bed.'

Bianca nodded slightly. There was silence again. 'The bed is a metaphor for sex,' I explained further.

She burst out laughing, 'Yeah, I figured. It's just a stupid analogy, that's all.'

I laughed, 'In the end, we just weren't right for each other. I think we both knew it from the start. And so we mucked around for a few weeks but we realised in the end, we only ever worked as part time friends. Glorified acquaintances if you will. I think I just liked the idea of being with the most popular girl from high school and she just needed a rebound after a break up.'

'She wasn't the right girl for you huh? Too bad,' she said as big smile spread across her face.

'You seem happy with that.'

I saw Bianca was obviously trying to suppress a smile. Every time she opened her mouth to speak, the smile would come back. She was obviously happy with this news for some reason. I wasn't angry. More amused.

'I'm not smiling,' she said while still trying not to smile. 'It's too bad things didn't work out.'

'Bianca.'

'I'm not smiling Nate. Oh by the way, it's probably a good thing you called me today because I still have your CD back at my place. You gave it to me well over a year ago.'

'Wow, that was a really subtle attempt to change topics there,' I said sarcastically. 'Nevertheless; which CD?'

'The Beatles, The White Album. You gave it to me so long ago I begun to think it was mine. I only remembered it was yours just now.'

'Of course, I was wondering where that was. I forgot I gave it to you. What else of mine do you still have?'

'Apart from a disturbing amount of high school work I copied from you all those years ago, nothing. Anyway, you can swing by my place and pick it up after we're all done here.'

'After we're done here? I thought you had a lecture to go to after this.'

Bianca shrugged. 'You were always telling me I should skip classes. I never did because I never had a good reason. And now I do.'

'And that reason is......?' I asked.

She finally picked up a menu from the table, peered over the top to looked at me and simply said,

'You.'

***

True to her word, Bianca decided to skip her class allowing us to take our time eating lunch before wandering around town aimlessly and giving us more time to talk and reminisce. Of course it took us only one minute to realise how bad an idea this was seeing as how it was ridiculously hot outside. Although in that brief minute or two of walking around, it did allow me to look at her properly. It's funny, we had only really known each other in high school during our senior year, and then the first two years of university but less frequently. Despite this, I was still unaccustomed to seeing her without her old high school uniform. Obviously, the high school uniform was pretty conservative and far from revealing. So it was always a pleasant surprise when I saw her dress as she did today, very simply in loose fitting pink shirt showing off some very mild cleavage and tight shorts. The fact she had obviously worked out and exercised in the year since I last saw her enhanced her beauty more.

But as I mentioned before, we didn't stay out in the sun long and so she offered to take me back to her place to collect my CD. And by "offered to take me back", I of course mean I drove her home.

***

'You know, I think this may be the first time I've ever been to your house,' I said as we walked up the drive way to her house.

'Well, I'm not in the business of taking boys home to show to my parents.'

'What's the harm? I'm not your boyfriend?'

'But you are a boy, and because of that, the moment you leave, my parents will start interrogating me for information about you. That's just the way they are. Don't want their precious eldest daughter hooking up with some loser without a job or an education,' as she took out her keys and begun to unlock the door.

'So why are you inviting me in now?'

She opened the door and walked inside. And without looking back, she said.

'It's a weekday. Nobody's home. It's just you and me.'

I froze in the doorway for a moment. I didn't quite know what to make of that last remark. Did it mean anything? Once more, as has been the case for so much of our friendship, the line between platonic friends and relationship was beginning to blur. What's wrong with me? She offers to give me back my CD and suddenly I'm imagining fantasies of me and her hooking up and becoming a couple? It was then that it finally dawned on me, I think I'm in love with her. Meeting up with her again today has made me realise how much I've missed her. These feelings have always been here, but only now are they truly on the surface. And now, she's invited me into her empty house and about to lead me into her bedroom. All these thoughts rushed through my head during the 20 or so seconds in took to get from the front door to her bedroom near the back of the house.

When I stepped inside her bedroom, I was surprised by how neat everything was. It wasn't an overly feminine room except for the clothes lying around and the makeup and perfume by her table and on the shelf. The bed was a double at least, furniture seemed quite expensive, random photos were stuck to the mirror on her desk. I walked over to look at them as she rummaged through all the disks around her CD player.

'It's here somewhere. Just hold on a second, I'll find it.'

'Take your time,' I said as I peered at the photo collage she had made next to and around the mirror.

One or two of the people in the photos I recognised from high school, some I had seen from her Facebook page but there were many I didn't recognise. It was then I said to her,

'You know, I don't think we've ever taken a photo together.'

'What?' she said half chuckling.

'It's just that we've known each other a while and I don't have a photo with you.'

She turned around and gave me a quizzical little look. I smiled and said,

'What? I can't act normal and be sentimental?'

'It's not that. It's just that you're always usually so sarcastic and sadistic.'

'Sadistic? Sarcastic yes, but sadistic?! That's a bit harsh,' I laughed.

'And true. I don't think you really listen to how you talk sometimes,' she smiled.

'Ah! Here it is,' she said cheerily as she walked over to me with the CD in hand. 'The Beatles' The White Album, it's yours. Sorry about the very very very late return.'

'Very late. But thanks,' I said.

To be honest I didn't really care about the CD all that much. I was just so focussed on her right up until the second she excused herself to go to the bathroom.

'You have your own bathroom?'

'Yeah, when we first moved into the house, me and my sisters played rock papers scissors to see who would get the bedroom with its own bathroom. I won.'

I laughed and sat down on the bed looking absently at the CD. It seemed to be in good condition. From the bathroom I heard her turn on the faucet. I didn't quite know what was going to happen when she came out. Would we just sit and talk or would I leave or would she surprise me and come out the bathroom in nothing but her lingerie. She didn't by the way. But in the meantime, I looked over to the bathroom and saw the door was slightly ajar. Despite my brain telling me not to look, I couldn't help it. In the basin mirror, I saw her splash water onto her face and neck. A lot of the water slowly trickled down her neck and down to the curves of her breasts. She took a wash cloth and dried her face and neck before soaking up the water on her chest. As she did so, I could see her straighten her shirt and her hair. She quickly adjusted her bra before looking into the mirror. I don't know if she saw me looking at her but I quickly averted my eyes. After several more moments, she came out of the bathroom looking refreshed.