Big Bang Theory: Rebound

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Penny, Bernadette find new fellas after breakups in Season 3.
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Robertdoc
Robertdoc
769 Followers

This is set near the end of Season 3 of The Big Bang Theory - when both Penny [Kaley Cuoco] and Bernadette [Melissa Rauch] just broke up with their boyfriends.

*****

May 2010

Me and my friend Jim didn't have the highest expectations when we went to the club. I had been on a dry spell, although it was nothing compared to Jim's. So we went out for drinks and tried not to ruin it by striking out.

And then we saw them.

It's an age old dream to find two hot blondes at a bar. As old as it is, it just is.

In this case, one of them was in a killer black dress and was already downing a shot. The other one was dressed down more, wearing a less revealing blue top, purple cardigan and glasses - but the outlines it made out suggested something killer underneath as well. If not more so.

I thought it and her over a bit more, until the words, "Bartender! Whatever she's having, please!" from Jim broke up my thinking. Usually Jim's not that forward - but I supposed his drought, and the way the drinking blonde filled out that dress, inspired him to push himself.

Lo and behold, it worked, as she stopped drinking and noticed the both of us. She probably noticed Jim ordering her drink more, but the other blonde took notice too. "Hey! You just figure out that's the good stuff too?" blonde No. 1 asked Jim.

"Guess I'm about to!" Jim called out, as the bartender returned with his shot just in time. He took it and quickly downed it, then exhaled deeply. "Yeah, I see it!"

"Great! Let's keep testing this little hypotenuse!" the blonde encouraged, going over to Jim.

"I think you mean hypothesis," the other blonde said, in a squeakier voice than her likely...less intelligent friend. "Besides, Penny, do you really want to drink your troubles away that much tonight? Shouldn't you pace yourself for future post-breakup drinking nights?"

"I don't know, Bernadette. Are you gonna?" Penny asked her friend. Somehow, that seemed to switch this Bernadette from a meek, nerdy girl into something...scarier.

She then marched next to me and pointed to the nearest drink next to the bartender. "Two shots, keep 'em coming!" she said in a much more intimidating voice.

Inspired, I decided to ask, "Is there room to get in on half of that? I can cover both halves, just in case," I offered, which made her finally take notice of me and calm down.

"Oh, sorry," Bernadette reverted back to her mousier voice. "I didn't mean to bother you. The jury's out on Penny. It may well be after a few more shots, anyway," she gestured, as I saw Jim get chatted up by Penny.

"I doubt that jury would mind finding her guilty," I tried to joke, but backtracked when Bernadette didn't laugh. "Not that he wouldn't examine the evidence in a safe, legal, completely respectful manner," I tried to save for Jim, if not myself. "Not that he'd do any examining without permission."

After a pause, Bernadette asked, "Are any of you into online gaming?"

Despite how that came out of nowhere, I felt safe enough to answer, "No, not me. Not him either, last time I checked this afternoon."

"All right, your judging credentials check out," Bernadette declared for some reason.

"If that's the case, then say hello to judge Johnny," I said as an introduction.

"Bernadette, Mr. juror," she told me back, just as the shots came on down. Deciding not to take both after all, she let me have one - which was fair after offering to pay for both.

Once we gulped them down and Bernadette struggled with the taste, I had to ask, "Is it bad if I bring up...how unusual it is for a woman like you and one like...that to be drinking together?" I gestured back to Penny - who was all but overwhelming Jim in some way or another.

"Only a little. But she's been in more unusual pairings, I can tell you," Bernadette shared. "I guess she's not in them now, though. I only got to see a little of it myself. But I guess I won't anymore. For at least two heartbreaking, stupid, online troll and Will Wheaton be damned reasons!" she got scary again at the end.

"Will Wheaton? Online troll? Okay, I get what you mean about unusual pairings," I said.

"Oh, they're not together! Not in anything but home wrecking chaos, anyway," Bernadette set up.

After that, Bernadette told me a bunch of stuff that could only be punchlines in a comedy. Like her claim that Penny dated a local scientist named Leonard for a year, her easier to believe claim that she was a microbiologist, and the weirder ones that Penny dumped Leonard on advice from actor Will Wheaton, over a bowling grudge match.

But those weird claims had nothing on the ones she made about Leonard's best friend. A few extra shots thankfully got those claims out of my head.

Then Bernadette went on to talk about her own recent breakup, which is where the online troll supposedly came in. I missed a few details by that point, especially when I saw Penny lead Jim onto the dance floor.

After enjoying that show - albeit not as much as Jim probably was - for a while, Bernadette got loud enough for me to notice again. She was still ranting about her ex, so thankfully my lack of attention escaped her attention.

"I didn't even ask questions about him and Raj! And boy, I could have!" she went on. "I even kept laughing at his jokes when I got them! That's the kind of restraint he liked from me! But I guess he liked pixelated restraints from a pixelated troll hooker even more!" she yelled, slamming the latest shot when she was done.

"If that's what you said he liked, I guess I can't argue," was all I could admit. It seemed to switch her back from an angry, tiny titan into a shy wildebeest again.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I shouldn't hurt your eardrums that bad. I don't usually let off steam like that. I just wanted to give it a try and help Penny do it tonight too."

"I suppose I helped in some small way with the second part. Jim was my ride, after all," I commented. "But I don't know if any of us can ride out of here ourselves," I cautioned.

"Yeah. I know I'm a lightweight compared to Penny. But we shouldn't prove it's that big a gap anymore," Bernadette reasoned. "I'll see if they're ready for a cab."

Knowing Jim, I could tell he wasn't drunk drunk yet, but he wasn't in driving drunk shape either. Another few minutes in this club with Penny, and he certainly wouldn't be.

Nevertheless, I downed another shot myself, even though it'd make me less likely to be a suitable designated driver - or maybe because of it. I was just drunk enough not to think it through.

I was fast enough to get up and help Bernadette when she started swaying. I even only let myself look down at her for a second, which confirmed she was covered up enough to avoid showing any cleavage. But even with the quite impressive cleavage Penny was showing, Bernadette's covered up chest still looked fuller and even hotter.

Those thoughts made me go right back to the bar for another shot - which ensured they couldn't see the front of my pants, and gave me a chance to make sure there was nothing to see after all. Once the evidence was gone, I knew for sure I wouldn't be able to drive.

Bernadette got Penny and Jim to agree that we should take a cab. She didn't agree right away that it should drop us all off at her apartment, though. But Penny argued she couldn't go to her home, since her boyfriend lived next door or something I didn't quite catch. I hadn't even caught her last name in all this, although Bernadette's sounded like something I couldn't even spell.

We settled on getting a cab for all four of us to go to Bernadette's, with the promise that me and Jim would go get our own cab after cooling down. Jim paid the tab for it, and I promised I'd cover the next one - without suggesting when I'd prefer that time to be.

For the moment at hand, we arrived at Bernadette's place. Me and her sat down on the left end of her blue couch, with Penny laying on the right and Jim sitting on the right arm. I then took action, getting us each a glass of water before we got too drunk or tired.

Penny was more reluctant to drink water or sit around, just as she was more reluctant to leave the bar. From Bernadette's stories about her recent heartbreak, I figured she didn't want to be in a quiet place with a chance to think to herself for a while. And I kind of gave Jim less wiggle room for him to help with that, in...whatever way he wanted.

So I compromised by finding some alcohol in Bernadette's fridge, then I poured Penny a last shot. In return, I found a bigger glass to fill with water, for Penny to gulp down as her second drink. She gulped both down pretty quickly.

I just gave out water for the rest of us, then gladly sat back down when it was passed out. I didn't feel ready to pass out yet. But the longer I sat on this comfy couch, the heavier my eyes got from being plain old tired. Plus since I'd struck out early in recent weeks, I hadn't really been up this late for a while.

When I felt Bernadette by my side, I figured I wasn't alone. Yet as my eyes got heavier, and I remembered we still had company, I wasn't in the best position to do anything about it.

I turned my head to see Bernadette's, as her eyes were only half open. The alcohol and her anger must have exhausted her too. Of course, it took me till now to get this close to her - and to see what a clear, beautiful shade of blue her eyes were behind those glasses.

That was the last sight I saw before the darkness. It could have been worse - or even better.

JIM'S P.O.V.

I thought they'd never go to sleep. I almost said it out loud before I caught myself. Instead, I told Penny, "So I guess I'll get us our own cab?"

"You could. But maybe he's right," Penny said. "Maybe I need another water to clear my head. Defeats the purpose if I'm not."

"It does now?" I asked, going over to fill another glass anyway.

"I gotta be drunk enough to do this. But not drunk enough to forget it. I need this enough, I gotta remember it. For a little while, anyway," Penny explained, before I handed out the glass.

"Whatever this is, are you doing it at your place? Is that where the cab's dropping you off?" I wondered.

"Fuck the cab! And fuck going home! I told you why I can't go there!" Penny yelled, regardless of whether sleeping people could hear her. "I can't let him see me...and I swore I wouldn't cry alone tonight either!" She gulped her water down and declared, "Okay, so I'm drunk enough to admit that, but drunk enough to be embarrassed...that's the right balance, right?"

"You seem to be the expert," I assured.

"I am. I'm a big ole five at it! And other things. Things I gotta get used to doing with regular people again. I just have to..." Penny vowed. "If we go anywhere else, I'll chicken out, I know it. It's gotta be here...you in?"

"If I am...what would I have to do?" I asked without sounding too hopeful, hopefully.

By then, I was sitting in the chair to the right of the couch. Penny then got up from the couch and found another seat - and it wasn't the chair on the left.

She barely let me adjust to her on my lap, before I had to adjust to her lips on mine. Once I settled down, she cruelly pulled back. "A little more than that," she got around to answering.

Fuck, a little more...Jesus fuck. I'd been dry for months, then a woman like this throws herself at me...well, it obviously wasn't all because of me. Could I take it anyway?

With the bare top half of her tits right in my face, it got easier to answer.

"You want these to be your breast friends?" Penny cooed, then looked embarrassed again. "Okay, let's make sure you don't remember that."

Lowering the front of her black dress did wonders for my memory - in opposite world.

In the real world, I lost my remaining restraint, burying my face in that fucking amazing chest. On top of that fucking amazing ass grinding on top of me, I probably had to fit a lot in while...I could.

I started by putting my hands on her bare upper back, pushing her harder against my face. Once my mouth engulfed her left breast, my hands went down her waist and landed on her ass. It only made Penny grind on me harder, so I figured I cracked the code.

"Oh fuck...I need that good foreplay," Penny called. I sought to please by nibbling on her nipple and lightly pulling it back, before doing the same to her other breast. In the meantime, my hands pushed up her dress until I got underneath towards her panties.

I normally wasn't this aggressive, but if that was the name of the game tonight - and if she was letting me - I could play along. Especially with so much sexiness to play with. Including that perfect ample flesh those panties barely covered up.

I even pulled the front of them up while palming her ass, making Penny groan harder. "Fuck me...now I'm the one getting wedgies," she said. At that point, she took my face off her tits and put it back on her face.

This time I kissed back while my hands pinched and massaged her ass. Hers finally went to work, going down my chest and towards my pants, once she wiggled around enough to provide some room. The wiggling only made me feel more constrained - so she pulled down my zipper and searched inside just in time.

Penny looked down and hummed once she pulled me out. If I was gonna get a clearer head about this, before the other one exploded, it was now or never. "You wanna...expose this much when they could wake up any second?" I nitpicked.

"I gotta make this memorable," Penny insisted, pumping me slow enough to do the job.

"Well...I'm gonna cum on your dress at this rate. You'll sure remember that," I gasped - and of course that made her stop.

"Yeah...no way in Hell I'm explaining that to Sheldon on Laundry Night. As if he'd get it," Penny ruled, then sadly climbed off me. "Probably best to do this the old fashioned way."

Penny put her dress back up, yet I still got a hell of a view of her tits when she bent down. The only thing that could distract me from this image was her licking my cock - which she helpfully did. But only for one second on my head.

"That'll have to hold us both over. Till we get in there," Penny said, pointing to Bernadette's bedroom door. I was about to question the idea of having sex in her sleeping friend's bedroom. Really.

Or maybe I would have, if the memories of her tongue on my cock weren't so recent. Or if my balls weren't turning blue at that very moment. Or if she walked less enticingly towards the bedroom. Or if I hadn't remembered that I hadn't seen everything under that dress yet.

In any case, what was done was done. Or it would be soon. Depending on how much more foreplay she wanted.

JOHNNY'S P.O.V.

"Oh fuck, right there..."

That was the first sound I heard as I came to. For a minute, I thought it was from a dream. For a minute, I thought Bernadette said it. But the voice was too husky, although it was pretty loud.

I turned my head and saw I wasn't the only one who got a wake-up call. Bernadette was still sitting next to me, although she was looking at her closed bedroom door - which barely covered up the noises and pants behind it.

I prepared for her to get scary again, and she looked ready to spring up. But then we heard Penny yell, "Fuck, put that finger in deeper! Don't you dare stop with that tongue!"

It was certainly a vivid image for the both of us. Probably more for me. I savored it while I could, since Bernadette was bound to make them stop now. But she didn't.

She did look down at her crucifix necklace at one point. Yet when Penny called out again and I even heard Jim groan, she looked more...bashful than mad. More awkward than furious. And soon more...curious than offended.

Bernadette inched over to the right of the couch, and I stayed where I was, just in case. I watched and waited for anything to happen, until I saw her squeeze her legs together. It inspired me to inch closer to her - just in case.

I should have focused more on the sex going on behind that door, even if my male friend was a part of it. I should have pictured the smoking sexy Penny, naked on Bernadette's bed, obviously getting eaten out. Once she said, "Fuck me, you're gonna make me cum before you fuck me..." it should have had all my attention.

Yet I kept looking at Bernadette's peeping. I kept watching her body twitch and move subtly with every groan and curse. I kept checking to see if her face and skin was flushed, and if she was breathing heavier. Her chest would give me an obvious clue.

God, that chest. And the rest of her, probably.

Penny's gorgeous body was so prominent - even before she got down with Jim - while Bernadette was pretty covered up. Yet the ample parts I could make out, and the talks we had when I wasn't staring at those parts, suggested something...wilder underneath the genius Catholic girl façade.

Which would explain why she was still listening in on people having sex on her bed. Loud, hot sounding sex. And from the latest sounds, they were onto the actual fucking phase.

Penny's "Fuck, give me more of that cock," gave it away further.

Bernadette removed her cardigan, which seemed like a clear sign. I saw her breathing heavily, and mine got louder as well - on purpose or not. When we heard Jim moan harder, Bernadette made an annoyed "Oh" sound, yet clenched her legs tighter a second later.

"Jesus..." She whispered, looking down at her necklace again.

"Water?" I suddenly asked, if only to remind her I was here.

"Wine would be nice. Or whatever alcohol they left us," Bernadette answered. So I got up and found the rest of the alcohol, pouring it in a glass for Bernadette while Penny and Jim kept...serenading us.

When I came back to the couch, Bernadette quickly took the glass and drank it down. I took my shoes off and laid back on the left leg of the couch, stretching my legs out while I still had room.

"That's my bed...and it hasn't had action in months...he just couldn't wait, that's all," Bernadette muttered. "It's not like I couldn't have made him do...that in front of sleeping friends. I'm Catholic, you know! Dirty secret sex stuff is wired into my DNA!"

"I know they don't care about volume, but..." I hinted. If they heard us now, they'd stop. And we'd get in trouble, although they defiled her bed first.

Bernadette sighed, backing up to lay down against me - with her head resting on my chest, her ass right near my groin and everything. I was careful not to breathe or move the wrong way, yet I couldn't help it when I heard Jim call, "Oh, that pussy's so good!"

The images - and women - that brought to mind made me shift my hips up just enough. I had to hold my breath after that. But when Penny called, "Especially with a nice, big cock in it," Bernadette shifted her hips down.

I forgot about Jim's cock - since I had a pretty firm and round ass against mine too. But here, clothes were a barrier...for the moment.

The first move I made was to put my right hand on hers, as they both rested on her left leg. As the show in the bed continued, Bernadette grinded herself on me just a little deeper. It got me to move my hand further towards her center, as my head dropped to her hair.

Now Bernadette began moaning quietly while my fingers drifted closer to her. They landed on the top center of her pants, teasing her for a while until they went lower. Once I cupped her crotch, Bernadette let out a squeak, keeping it from being a loud moan.

Just to be safe, I covered her mouth with mine when she turned her head.

I could feel Bernadette melting into the kiss and into my hands. My right one started rubbing in earnest while my left rested on her stomach. Yet as Bernadette kissed me slower and deeper, while pressing her ass against my crotch and her crotch against my hand, I wasn't in a huge hurry.

Her tongue danced with mine as her own hands went onto mine. Before I knew it, she had flipped herself around, lying herself on top of me. She lifted my shirt up as we kept kissing, with my hands resting on her lower back.

Robertdoc
Robertdoc
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