Big Bang Theory Season 01 Ep. 03-05

"Maybe, if it's a cute little cuddly cat."

"Oh come on Leonard. This is obviously about Penny."

Leonard looks very defensive; "It doesn't matter. The woman's not interested in me. The woman rejected me."

Sheldon is trying to be helpful, for once; "Okay, look...ahem, you have as much as a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble telescope does of discovering at the center of the black hole is a little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker. Nevertheless, I do feel obligated to point out to you that she did not reject you. You did not ask her out."

Leonard stared at Sheldon; "You're right. I didn't ask her out. I should ask her out."

Sheldon began to panic; "No, no, no that was not my point. My point was, don't buy a cat!"

"No, but you're right. I should march over there and ask her out."

"Oh goody, we're getting a cat!"

Leonard marches right over to Penny's and knocks on the door. She opens the door; "Oh hi Leonard."

"Good afternoon Penny. So, hi, hey. Uh...I was wondering if you had plans for dinner?"

"Uh, you mean, dinner tonight?"

"I was thinking 6:30 if you can go, or a different time."

"Uh 6:30 would be great. Yeah I like hanging out with you guys." She misunderstood thinking it was going to be with the nerd group and not a date per se, with just Leonard alone.

He chickened out and told her that they may be there or not.

She nods and giggled; "Okay whatever, it sounds like fun."

"Okay, I'll see you at 6:30."

He takes two showers, he sweats so much his shirt is drenched. He showers again and changes once more. They have a nice dinner and have uncomfortable small talk at the table. There is a lull in the conversation and Leonard searches for something to say; "Uh what about your, uh, hallway friend?"

"Doug? Oh, yeah, I don't know, I mean you know, he's nice and funny, but it's just me. I'm still getting over this break-up with Kurt. This thing with Doug was just rebound sex."

"Ugh, don't get me started on rebound sex."

"It's just my pattern. I break up, I find a some cute guy and then it's just thirty-six meaningless hours of, you know?"

Leonard leans forward; "I'm not sure that I do. Um... is that one thirty-six hour experience or is that thirty-six hours spread out over say, one glorious summer?"

She giggled; "No, it's usually over a week-end, just like the last one with Doug. Trust me, you do not feel good after it."

"Yeah chafing right?"

"No, emotionally!"

"Of course, yeah, emotional chafing."

After dinner when they return to the apartment Penny stops at the door; "Um, well good night, Leonard... was this supposed to be a date?"

He tries to cover; "This, a date, nooooo! This was just you and me hanging out with guys who didn't show up because of work."

She looks a little disappointed; "Okay, I was just checking."

"When I take a girl on a date, and I do, heh, she knows she's been dated." All of a sudden he's confused and says goodbye and tried to leaves her at the door.

"You know Leonard, if you'd like, you can come in for a drink."

He clears his throat; "That would be nice." He entered her living room and takes a seat.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'll be right out." She goes into her bedroom and comes out several minutes later dressed only in a tiny bra and an even smaller thong; "What would you care to drink Leonard?"

He loses it and standing up, walks over to her. He closes his eyes as she wraps her arms around his neck. He lets out a groan and cums in his pants. Embarrassed to no end, he turns and runs out of the apartment and entering his, makes a dash for the bathroom.

The next day Sheldon and Leonard go to a university mixer where they meet the new dean, Professor Gablehauser. Sheldon insults him and gets fired.

The following day, with nothing to do Sheldon sets out to improve breakfast eggs and after testing them out notes he need fresh eggs.

Just then Penny knocks on the door and opens it; "Hi, I'm running to the market. Do you guys need anything?"

"I need eggs? Four dozen should suffice."

"Four dozen?"

"Yes, evenly distributed amongst brown, white, free-range, large, extra-large and jumbo."

She looks confused; "Okay, one more time?"

"Never mind, you won't get it right. I better come with you."

"Oh, yay!"

She's wearing a fuchsia colored zip-up top. The zipper is open to her bursting cleavage and her tight belly is showing. Below that is a multi-colored pair of extremely short sweats. As they drive to the market, Penny tells of Leonard and her date a couple days ago; "You know Sheldon, after we got busy together while the guys were out getting parts for my entertainment center, well I had a long episode with Doug. I guess the so called date I had with Leonard started out slow and afterwards, it turned into a complete disaster. He left me hot and horny. I really like him, but he has a little lacking when it comes to satisfying a woman. You on the other hand, well it was great and I still would like a shot at swallowing your large, stiff cock."

He let out a grunt; "That was a mistake Penny, I had a moment of weakness, sort of like when Spock has Pon Farr."

She stared back at him; "Excuse me?"

"I rarely have sex; Spock only has it once every seven years."

"Poor Spock!" They arrived at the market and began shopping; they got her groceries and his eggs. As they arrived back at the apartment Sheldon waits for her to open her door; "That was fun, maybe tomorrow we can go to one of those warehouse stores. I see you buy your tampons one box at a time.

She turns to him; "What?"

"It makes sense, it doesn't spoil and you're going to be needing them for at least the next thirty years."

"You want me to buy thirty years' worth of tampons?"

"Thirty, thirty-five, when did your mother go into menopause?"

"Okay, I'm not talking about this with you."

He began rambling on about the calculations; "Are you fairly regular?"

Before he could say any more, she slammed the door in his face; "Damn, I was going to tease him and I was sure to get that huge cock of his down my throat, I'll have to try later. I've lost all urges to fuck him right now, especially after talking about my periods!"

Sheldon went off the deep end after that, going from one experiment to another, glow-in-the-dark gold fish, weaving ponchos and bulk tampon mailings.

Leonard took the problem into his own hands and called his mother. He went to the airport to pick her up. On the way up the stairs he told her; "Every day he's got a new obsession."

When they entered the apartment, Sheldon was sitting at a loom and Mary hugged him; "Hi Baby, I see you have a loom, how nice. Honey, why did you get a loom?"

I was working on luminous fish and I thought, hey...loom. Mom, what are you doing here?"

"Leonard called me!"

"Yeah, I know, but why?"

Leonard took a step closer; "Because one of the great minds of the 21st century is raising glow-in-the-dark fish and weaving serapes."

Sheldon stood and turned to Leonard; "This is not a serape, this is a poncho. A serape is open at the sides, a poncho is closed. This is a poncho. Neither is a reason to call someone's mother."

"Really? When was the last time you left the house?"

"I went to the market with Penny."

"Yeah, that was three weeks ago."

"Well then buckle up, in the next four to eight days, she's going to get very crabby."

"Sweetheart, your little friend is concerned about you."

"Well I'm not a child. I'm a grown man, capable of living my life as I see fit. I certainly don't need someone telling on me to my mother." He started out of the room.

Leonard spoke up" Wait, where are you going?"

He turned, in his poncho; "To my room and no one's allowed in."

Mary Cooper made dinner and everyone was there eating, but Sheldon was stubborn and wouldn't come out. While everyone was eating, Sheldon snuck out and picking up a plate looked at everyone. He scurried out back into his bedroom. After Leonard scolded him telling him to snap out of it and get back to work.

After Sheldon ran back into his room, Mary looked to Leonard; "You don't hunt, do you?"

The next morning Mary knocked on Sheldon's door. She entered and was dressed in a fashionable cranberry, silky wrap-around dress. It showed off her slender figure, her cupcake sized breasts and her gorgeous legs. "Good morning Snickerdoodle."

"What do you want mom?"

"You know how your father used to say you can fish so long before having to throw a stick of dynamite into the water?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I'm done fishing." She grabbed clothes out of the closet and threw them on the bed; "You put those on."

"What for?"

"Because you're going down to your office and you're going to apologize to your boss and get your job back."

He shook his head; "No!"

"I'm sorry, did I start that sentence with the words "if it pleases Your Highness?"

"I'm not going to. I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"Now you listen here. I have been telling you since you were four, it's okay to be smarter than everybody, but you can't go around pointing it out."

"Why not?"

"Because people don't like it! Remember all the ass-kickings from the neighbor kids? Now, let's get cracking. Shower, shirt, shoes and let's shove off."

They went to the university and Mary knocked on the dean's door; "Excuse me, Dr. Gablehauser, are you busy?"

"Well actually..."

"Sheldon, he's just doodling, get in here. Let's go baby, we're losing daylight."

"Um... as you know, several weeks ago in our first encounter we may have gotten off on the wrong foot when I called you an idiot. I just wanted to say that I was wrong to point it out."

He looked around Sheldon and spoke to Mary. I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced." He put his hand out to Mary; "I'm Eric Gablehauser."

She chuckled; "Mary Cooper, Sheldon's mom."

"Now that's impossible. You must've had him when you were a teenager."

"Oh, aren't you sweet, his father's dead."

"Recently?"

"Long enough!"

He stood over her and pointed to a chair; "Please. Sheldon, shouldn't you be working?"

Sheldon looked around, confounded and when he looked at his mother, she glared back at him; "Okay!" He turned and walked out, closing the door behind him.

Eric turned to Mary and leaned back against his desk and looked her up and down. "You know I was wondering if you adopted Sheldon. You're even too young to have had him if you were a teenager. I was just going to head to grab a late lunch. Would you mind joining me Mary, may I call you Mary."

"I'd like that, Eric."

They headed out to a quiet restaurant at the nearest hotel and Eric selected a secluded booth. He was shocked and delighted when Mary slid in beside him, not across from him. He ordered a beer, but Mary ordered a cola. After they placed their food order, Mary turned to Eric; "So tell me Eric do you have to return to the university today or can you play hooky?"

He placed his hand on her knee and held it still; "It all depends Mary, what are you proposing?"

Mary parted her legs a little more, giving him easier access to her treasure. She took her time, taking a sip of her cola. She sucked in her breath when she felt his hand glide a little higher on her shapely, slender leg; "Mmmmm well Eric, I believe this hotel has some nice large rooms. I've always wanted to see the ocean from one of these nice rooms."

Eric slid his hand even higher until he grazed her simple cotton panties. His knuckles slowly slid up and down the gusset of them and he chuckled when he felt just how damp they were.

Their food arrived and he pulled his hand out from under her dress. "Eat-up Mary, I'm sure we can get a real nice room facing the ocean. Believe me, I've stayed here several times while I was being courted to take this job, the view is amazing. I know with you up there looking out the large window, the view will be even more spectacular."

"Oh aren't you sweet, I'm full, shall we go now?'

He tossed a fifty on the table and they hurried out of the restaurant. He had Mary take a seat in the large lobby as he rushed to the reception desk and requested a room as high as possible that also had a view of the ocean. He paid cash and once he received the key-card, he took Mary by the elbow and led her to the bank of elevators. Pressing the button for the twenty-fourth floor; he turned and pointed out to Mary the expanse of the lobby with the flowing waterfall just to the right of them.

The door opened and checking the direction to go, he turned left and Mary followed. Once the door was closed behind them, he gripped Mary's upper arm, spinning her around he planted his lips upon hers. It was a very urgent kiss and the two of them twisted and ground their bodies against one another.

Eric pushed Mary against the wall and began ravishing her body. He found the tie holding her wrap-around dress secure. He pulled at it and it parted. He nearly tore it from her body and as it lay crumpled on the floor, he fisted his hands in her shoulder length, dark auburn hair. He pulled back on it and her mouth came off of his. He attacked her neck and he smiled to himself when he heard a groan come from deep in her throat. His mouth seemed to be everywhere at once, on her neck, tugging at her earlobes and his tongue flicked out and ran around her ear canal. He nipped at the sensitive flesh between her neck and shoulder and he found her bra straps and pulled them down so hard and fast, her tits popped out and her bra was now hanging around her lower ribcage. His lips followed and caught one stiff, pencil-eraser sized nipple. He chewed on them and she cried out in pain and lust.

Mary was beyond excited and she tore off his sports jacket and tugged his turtleneck pullover out of his pants. She escaped his mouth just long enough to pull the shirt up and over his head. Now that she had an opening, she broke free and raced over to the bed. Flopping down on it, she reached back and unhooked her bra and cast it aside. Sitting there in only her panties and shoes, she reached out and grabbed hold of his belt and pulled him between her outstretched legs. She made short order of his belt and yanking open his pants, she pulled down the zipper and shoved his pants and shorts down in one swift movement. She smiled as he nearly lost his balance as he kicked them aside, along with his shoes.

Mary was sitting there face to face with a six inch stiff cock. What made it exceptional was the thickness. She closed her fingers around it, and even though she had long, slim fingers, they barely met. She stroked it up and down several times. This produced a large dollop of pre-cum to ooze out. She spread it around the thick head with her thumb and followed it up by leaning forward and flicking it around with the tip of her tongue.

Eric let out a growl and once again ran his fingers through her silky hair. Closing his hands around the back of her head, he tipped her head back and forcing her hands away, he began face fucking the slender MILF. He had her lips stretched around his thickness and as he fucked her mouth, he went deeper and deeper and soon had his swaying nut sack, slapping against her chin.

Mary loved it, she loved a man who could take control and loved it rough. She was from Texas where the men were men and the women appreciated a man who knew what he wanted, not like the wimps she saw walking around the campus in California. She reached out, not to take hold of his cock, she knew he could handle what he was doing, but to grab hold of his ass and pull him even harder against her face. She began working her tongue around as she accepted all he could give her.

Eric was ecstatic; he finally found a woman who loved it rough and he was going to take every advantage he could with her. He was close to cumming, her lips and tongue, along with her throat, were magic, but he wanted this to last and his ultimate goal was her tight petite ass he saw as she ran to the vacant bed earlier. With as much self-control as he could mustard, he reluctantly pulled his cock from her mouth. He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her to her feet. He led her to the large picture window overlooking the Pacific. He stood behind her and applying pressure to her shoulders, he urged her to lean over and as she placed her hands on the sill, he reached down and slid her panties off. Her luscious ass, although petite, it was rather tight and nicely rounded. Using his knees, he pushed her legs apart and sliding closer, he found her extremely wet pussy. He slid in slowly and it felt like he was slipping into a tight rubber glove. "Oh my god Mary, when was the last time you fucked. It feels like I'm fucking a virgin pussy?"

She grunted out; "Oh don't you worry Eric, I'm certainly no virgin, as for when I fucked last, none of your business. Let it be known though, a few of my friend and I work out regularly at the gym and work especially on exercises that tighten the vagina muscles, or pussy as you so rudely call it. Now stop your yapping and fuck my pussy."

He did just that. I grabbed hold of her hair again and closing his fists around it, he pulled hard on it, spearing his cock ever deeper in her quaking cunt.

Mary was in heaven, or close to it. She made a mental note to visit Sheldon more often from now on. She gripped the sill harder and began matching his thrusts with ones of her own and she loved how he pulled her hair and slapped relentlessly in and out of her pussy. "Oh my lord, I'm there Eric, harder, harder, don't slow up, I'm right there, oh lord give me the strength to stand until I accept his spunk!"

When Eric heard this and felt her extremely tight cunt, clutch even firmer on his shaft, he lost it. He began spilling his seed in her womb and he felt her cum at the same time. The two of them continued to match the intensity on the other and as he began to soften and slip out of her. He wrapped his arms around her slender body and lifting her up, he carried her to the bed where he gently placed her there. He climbed up and spooned her; "My, my Mary, you were incredible. Do they make all the women in Texas as hot and sexy as you are?"

"She twisted her head around and planted a soft kiss on his lips; "I guess you'll have to come on down for a visit and find out for yourself. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to use the little girl's room. When I get back, you better be ready for round two. I don't want to waste this nice bed. After all, you did promise me the view, now I want to try out this nice large bed."

She scampered out and looked back at him; "Rest up Professor, it's going to be a long night!" Mary came out of the bathroom. She stood in the doorway and cocked one leg and planted it on the door jam. "Hey sailor, see anything you like?"

Eric looked up and smiled at her. He crooked his finger at her and watched as she approached the bed. When she stood beside the bed, he reached out and wrapping his arm around her slender waist, he drew her to the bed. He flopped her down on her back and he swept a stray lock from her face. Lowering his head, he kissed her tenderly. He increased the intensity as Mary wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him tighter to her. His hairy body flattened her smallish tits and he ground his cock against her freshly washed pussy. He slowly slid down her body; he left a trail of wet kisses as he moved closer to her pussy. Cupping her tight cheeks, he lifted her pussy to his mouth. He stabbed at her folds and as they parted he sank his tongue deep into her tangy tasting pussy. He was obsessed with making her cum and while she squirmed to get even more pressure on her clit, Eric avoided it as he continued sucking at her hole. After a couple of minutes, he took aim at her clit and as soon as he drew it between his lips and started flicking it back and forth with his tongue, she exploded covering his lips with her nectar.