- Non-Erotic
- Big Brother
- Page 4
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Jay had a dream that night. He was back at his home in Columbus and he had his mom and dad back, the entire ordeal had never happened. Although something kept nagging at the back of Jay's mind that something wasn't quite right he ignored the feeling. He basked in the loving presence of his parents.
Becca was there too and that didn't seem strange at all. In fact, it felt like she always belonged with them. She seemed happier than he ever remembered. They were all tremendously happy in the dream; everyone wore smiles brighter than the sun on a clear day. Jay was in his mother's arms and she was hugging him tight, Becca was sitting on his father's lap giggling as he tickled her. It felt so right all of them being together.
When Becca slid off his father's knee and lightheartedly skipped away, Jay's father turned to him and said, "You've done a good thing reaching out and finding your sister. I know you will keep your word and take care of her, but she is also going to take care of you. I'm glad that neither of you are alone anymore."
"But Dad," Jay's dream self said. "Becca wasn't alone."
His father's expression became serious, "Are you sure? Sometimes a houseful of people who ignore you can make you feel more alone than being by yourself. You two need each other, don't ever doubt her love for you and don't ever let her feel alone again. You have one another now, and as long as you do, things will be okay.
As Jay thought about what his father said, he placed his incredibly warm hand on Jay's cheek. "I'm proud of you son, and I always will be," he said. Then his mother and father began to fade into a mist, their touches became like vapor.
"No! Don't go!" Jay shouted but they had all ready disappeared. "Come back! Please come back!!!"
Jay awoke and he was in his cot at his aunt's house. He realized it had all been a dream. Tears fell from his eyes as he once again felt the full force of his grief in losing his parents. He hugged Becca tightly to him and felt her sigh in contentment, he felt better.
- COMMENTS
Ramazaalmost 2 years ago16 year old story and no ending so far, it's a real shame too, because it is a great start.
AnotherChapterover 2 years agogreat start. Needs to find a more complete ending. This would be a great candidate for a continuation, and if well done, perhaps several more chapters. It feels here as though the trauma of the loss of Jay’s parents is just beginning to finally surface. The question is where does Jay go from here? Can he heal, can he develop a healthy relationship inside this dysfunctional household, can Jay and Becca forge a lasting bond to overcome the arid cold unfeeling and unsupportive family they are stuck with?
tiercenptabout 3 years agothis should receive another one or two chapters...
now with the hint? is Becca is real sister from his fathers cheating maybe? it sure did sounded like it.
Additionally Loni and Jay relationship, her care for him. Maybe as an after story/thought maybe that `Loni found Jay after all these years again etc.`' (when he turns 18).
but seeing the release date..I have very little hope. sad really soo much potential
NickDNabout 3 years agoA very bleak story – every child’s nightmare and yet a story with great hope and light in it. I’ve always avoided non-erotic fiction here, but I can honestly say you have a very good talent and can really construct and write good stories. A real page turner! I hope you continue to write.
far_wanderer1984over 3 years agoThis was a sad yet very good introductory chapter but really needs more as more than anything it feels unfinished.
