Bigger Brother HBO Ep. 08

Bigger Brother HBO Ep. 8 - Bigger, Bolder... and Uncut.

Episode 8 - Day Eight: Extermination Wrap Up

Extermination day - even the words have an ominous tone. My second one in the house, and again, I'm safe.

I'm safe. Hey, that has a nice ring to it, you know? My mood brightens considerably. I guess I am looking forward to going on the block - take that Binky.

Oh, wait, from the looks of Max and Bill straggling out of the room - again - you did take it. Quite possibly twice from the hitch to their steps.

Speaking of hitches, twitches, and changes, yesterday must've really worn George out, because I still don't smell coffee or see him around - even though with the Bill and Hop-along Max, pretty much everyone is here for breakfast now, minus George. Oh, and our usual suspect who hasn't left her HOH abode.

She can sleep even longer now having the quiet room away from everyone. It probably suits her quite well.

We're in the middle of breakfast when a loud pop comes from the HOH hallway. George? Oh, my gosh, it's George. Max looks sheepish, Bill just grins, and George just tries to slink toward the bathroom doing his best to disappear.

"Sorry, old joints, loud pops sometimes. Carry on," he tries his best to get us back to our meal.

Everyone just stares, some frozen with forks halfway to their open mouths.

Bill tugs down at his shirt, rearranges equipment below the table, and breaks the trance, "Er, back in some farm counties, it's three-to-one, guys to dolls."

Our little dysfunctional family doesn't have a unified response, although most just give sly snickers, others remain silent.

I have to concede this one to Binky. She definitely has a reason to sleep in. She's topped me for sure - well, that way too, but, honestly, three? How do you even... Ask Bill. He'll show us! Shh! I will not... Never say never! Fine, I won't say never if you'll just let me finish breakfast. My very awake little pussy resumes her morning post-wake-up stretch, moistening noticeably.

Damn, this house is getting to me. I'm having more conversations with my own kitty than I am having with some of the other house guests. Maybe I shouldn't veto myself off the block because I'm cracking up.

Better to stay in the house - remember you get sequestered until the end of the show. More action in here. For now. Maybe later... Fine! Shh! We'll discuss this later. Cool. You're welcome - far, far too insane.

...

"Hi, Julie," again, the more subdued welcome on eviction - I mean extermination - day.

She smiles at us through the monitor, but then turns her head. We're looking at the side of her face as she starts talking, "We come again to the extermination of a beloved houseguest. How do you vote? By open agreement? By covert, hushed promises? How's it feel to be stabbed in the back?"

"Uh, Julie? We can hear you," several of us say to her, thinking this must be some mistake.

Hearing her, even things we're not supposed to hear, certainly isn't very comforting.

"That's right. We're always trying to surprise you. But it's no surprise, and no joke. Today one of you won't be here for the next HOH competition."

"Thanks, Julie. You're just my little dapple of sunshine," at least Bill is going to feel guilty - that or somehow he heard my earlier internal conversation and is sorry he'll miss out on introducing me to foursomes.

"Binky, please go get the voting block and make your selections in Diary Room 1."

"Binks, that's the first one on the right in the hall. Don't forget the plan," Max is certainly excited about this.

Good thing he's so covert about it all. Of course, he probably thinks 'covert' is that thing they place under the roads so water can pass through.

"I know, dude! Stop giving stuff away!" Binky tries to hiss discretely in her loud, nail-in-skull manner.

And she finally goes off to do her deed.

...

"I, Binky, head of household, found this task to be emotionally harsh. I don't want to hurt anyone or see them go, but it's the price I have to pay for getting a private room. Where I can sleep in as long as I want. Which doesn't mean I don't want HOH again, because I really want..."

"Thank you, Binky. Will you reveal your nominations to be exterminated and affix them to their posts?"

"Oh, sure!" she flips that solemn switch to happy, brainless blonde in the blink of an eye.

I didn't think she'd be that anxious to again be looking up my...

"I nominate Terrence..."

No, please, no. Not both of us...

"and, uh, George! That's right, I remember!"

What? 'Terrence' and... 'George?' I repeat, Binky, 'What the hell?'

Was Max right and you can't remember your plan? At least the plan I thought you'd have.

I wonder if Max is afraid I'll tell Binky... wow, I bonked myself into an umbrella insurance policy - one that's good for anything not covered by my safety net. Quite the interesting position you're in, Rosie... You're welcome. You can thank me later. Shh! I'm thinking.

...

We have a brief break with packing and a few sniffles. George loosely grabs a few things, but not much. It seems the decision has already been made.

Of course, that makes it easier on Terrence - maybe - because he strips down, proud as could be, ready to face the music and his untimely exit.

No one even seems remotely surprised to find the rules to the game have changed a little, as our 'souls are bared along with ourselves' has become a full strip for all parties involved.

Funny, Binky gets to pull a Max. George straps up no problem. What the heck, after their little diddle of 'whoopee to the fourth power' last night, it can't be anything too surprising to her.

But Terrence, that's hilarity at it's best. Initially he's 'accidentally' whapping her in the head with it - then as the stimulation starts getting the better of him, she starts waiting for it and looking up to get it along her cheek, then occasionally across the lips, then her...

You little tart! She's intentionally rubbing it right on her...

She wets her lips, staring face first into his dangling stardom. At least he doesn't finish getting an erection, although having Max as a main squeeze, Terrence at quarter staff is, well, even mostly relaxed, it's still a mountain compared to a molehill.

Hey! Let's get religion again - 'Climb that mountain high enough...' And what do you know about religion, my little pussy-friend? I know, 'Oh, God, yes, please... YES!' like you said last night. I did most likely say that, didn't I... wait, now is not the time to lose focus if you want...

I mercifully get paged to the diary/voting room, interrupting my extended monolog with my increasingly argumentative nether regions. It's bad enough she's a demanding little kitty, but she's learning more effective argument techniques, even using my own words against me. Pretty soon I'll just have to give up and let her run our game plan. Smart. I knew you'd eventually see it my way. Shh!

I enter the cool, quiet room with the cushy chair, still recovering from my brush with below taking over the show. I'm pretty much the last person called.

"Hi, Rosie."

"Hi, Julie. Sorry about..."

"Oh, that," and Julie gets a little red again.

Here I thought I'd be the embarrassed one, but not in the least.

"I finally get to vote and chat with the normal folks. How exciting," I'm smiling at having survived all on my own.

"Actually more exciting than you might know. You won the power of veto. It is good for this round only and you have to announce it prior to Binky reading the first name. Of course, since you aren't on the extermination block, obviously not as important for you."

"Cool! I won! Just how cool is that?" I gush without thinking - two personal wins for me, 'most likely to lose Bigger Brother' - ha!

"Congratulations. So how is the fan favorite underdog going to vote this time?"

"Well, you're a great guy, and I did have some fun, and you're very special, but sorry, it has to be you, George."

"Thank you. You may join the others."

...

"Binky, could you please retrieve the votes?"

"Hey, Binks, its..."

"Just, shut up! I know. Just because you were HOH last time doesn't mean I don't know..."

"Binky? Could you please get the voting box? Now?"

"Oh, sure, Julie," and she scampers off like a little Dolly Parton squirrel in search of her pole... but I'm not bitter or anything.

I swear I see Max smile at me. George looks relaxed except being up there in his glory. Terrence, you can tell, he knows how the chips are going to fall. He packed everything.

Binky crashes the box down on the table.

"However this vote goes, I'll miss you Terrence."

Smooth, Binky, smooth. But catch this, Rocky...

"Julie? Wait. I want to exercise my power of veto."

The gasps shoot through most of the group. Folks that were on the block the previous week don't just stop the voting when they're not on the extermination grid. The producers want twists - here you go.

"I pull Terrence off the block," I clearly state.

"Ok, Rosie, you may go up and release him."

Now I get to be the one below his dangling... wait, where'd it go? Oops, it's not as dangling as it was, and it's standing a lot further... eat your heart out, Binky.

He's just past half-mast, but then again, I'm not even touching him - only at his feet, breathing on his thighs, but I'm easily getting more of a rise out of him than Binky did making contact. I smile up at him and he mouths, "Thank you."

"Binky, you'll need to make another selection."

"Oh, ok, Julie. I don't know. I wasn't planning on this. So I can put anyone up there? How about Terrence."

"No, Binky, your first selection was freed by veto. You can't put the same person up."

"Oh, that's hard."

"No, Binky, it didn't look like you got him that hard, it looks like..." Jerry quickly slaps his trap shut as he realizes he might be up there soon as Binky has to think on the spot. "Oh, sorry. Yes, you have a hard decision. Sorry," he anxiously corrects himself.

"Hmmm. Well, I mean, Terrence was supposed to be going home." Wow, Binky is worse than those folks on Survivor that just dump their whole game plan with a simple question - she's doing it without being questioned.

"I guess I'll have to put up Rosie."

"Binky, no, you can't..." Max looks like he's in a state of panic. Interesting how he's sure I might get voted out, but he'd be the one in a coffin before morning.

"It's okay, Max. I know you don't want to hurt me, and no matter what, I won't let Binky know how many treats you might've had before she found us in the room."

Max looks like the weight of the world has been removed off his shoulders.

"You had more than one fritter? You pig!" Binky slaps Max, but he only smiles.

I give him a little wink and he nods a quick thank you. For someone so dense, he picks up on the save pretty quickly.

I strip and Binky puts me up. Thus she gets to look me over again. She doesn't stare quite as much as Max did, but she does get in a couple good glances - possibly trying to see what I have that got Terrence to perk up. Especially as she has the super-inflated, uh, 'ego'... two of them to be exact.

...

The voting routine shoots through again - voting twice every extermination day is becoming a habit.

As Binky comes back to read the votes, everyone keeps looking around like they're waiting for something else to happen. Gun shy group, but nothing unusual; just the run of the mill voting... almost...

"First vote: George," Binky states blandly.

"Next vote, George. What? George? Don't you people remember the plan? Am I the only one that can remember things for more than five minutes?" she's obviously flustered and is huffing, hand on hips, trying to stare accusingly at everyone.

"Binky? Can you continue reading the votes. Five votes for any one person means they are eliminated. In the event of a split vote, four to four, the deciding vote will go to you, Binky. You may proceed," Julie helpfully gets our Head of Household back on track.

"Rosie. That's better.

"George. What the fuck? Oh, not that I don't like you, Rosie, it's just..."

"The votes, Binky?"

"Next vote, Rosie. Okay," Binky calms down.

"George... this says, 'George' - but it can't..."

"That's four votes George, two votes Rosie. One more vote for George and we have our second exterminated house guest."

"Oh, so that means things can still work out how they're supposed to?" She's actually waiting for Julie to answer.

"Binky, please read the votes."

"Okay," and then stunned look.

I'm wondering how it'll play out. Everyone is looking around at each other, even more now that things might seem different than expected. Three George votes might be explained; four was a reach, but...

"George? George? It says, 'George,' but..."

"George, you have five minutes to say your goodbyes and exit the house. Binky you can release them off the post."

She manages to get George down amidst the confusion, but it took Randy and Terrence to unstrap me. I like how they each took a leg. I notice during the confusion, Max actually winks at me. Holy crap, you mean I might've got that without using my individual underdog policy? I guess I'll never know.

We all say goodbye to George - I even remember to put everything back on before wishing him well.

There's a lot of whispered conversations and hushed little arguments. It's great. Periodically folks come by and say they're glad I got to stay - possibly a few more of them than previously in the game might actually mean it this time.

"House guests to the pool area for Head of Household competition."

...

Well, I won't bore you with the details, but I didn't win - again. I wasn't even close. The good news? Randy actually won one. After being so close, after practically ripping his scrotum off last HOH competition, he got to officially rename the HOH room, the 'Buttcave.' Which sounds so much worse now when I repeat it, but at the time, it was hilarious.

And don't ask, because, yes, I did a little stint in the Buttcave with him. The privacy was astounding. I didn't realize how much you might crave even a few minutes of alone time, but because our alliance was still a secret, it had to be concealed. Then again, I never asked about the not-so-covert missing of Juno the following morning.

I still took advantage of a little welcome... ok, it was anything but 'little,' but Terrence made sure I felt welcomed back in the house that evening after the vote... actually a couple times that night.

Even with the Binky show returning to the main bedroom, after a couple good pees, I was good to go. Ocean waves, soft sheets, deep sleep.

So you're probably wondering what happened. I could tell you, but then what fun would that be? I can say I tried my best at every competition. Well, maybe I didn't try my hardest during the one reward challenge - my side lost and all our underwear was taken until the next challenge day. Oh, gee whiz, break my heart. It was great fun - especially with the folks that routinely wandered around in bikini tops/bottoms... those were counted as lingerie/underwear. Pool and hot tub time was much more entertaining.

Then there was the personal 'insurance' challenge of no clothes until after the extermination event: I had to strip in the diary room, then stay naked until after voting was done to exterminate another house guest. Would you believe I managed to do that by convincing everyone it was one of those 'Save the Whales,' 'No Fur,' 'Global Warming' awareness stunts where the folks strip to attract attention to their cause? I even managed to get others to join in. I hear the on-line community ran with it, raising a significant sum for charity spinning off my idea.

There were lots of other fun experiences, and, ahem, some wonderful repeat experiences... sometimes multiple times in a row. Maybe I'll get around to telling the rest of my story about being in the Bigger Brother House - or you'll just have to fill in the details with your own imagination. But I will say, "See you next season!"