BIGGEST of the BIG

It was a lazy, Friday night and I was without plans, or any business to speak of, which left me in a bummed mood as I gamed online. It had been nearly five months since I'd been laid, and I was getting a bit antsy. At the height of my boredom my phone rang jolting me from a toxic lethargic state as my friend Orlando promised some guaranteed sexual action if I took wingman duty this evening. My short, Salvadorian acquaintance had been trying to get with the apple of his eye, one Guadalupe Recinos for a little over five months finally taking her into a hookup if and only if, he could get a date for her cousin, Maria Lorena Espinosa. Supposedly, she was a little hard to get along with making it hard for Guadalupe who rarely did anything without her cousin. I'd seen Guadalupe who went by the nickname "Dulce" once as Orlando spoke with her at her job bagging groceries at the local supermarket. She was this short, slightly bottom heavy Mexican woman with a prominent nose and harsh features. I admit to staring a little too hard at her chunky looking, squarish butt. She'd glared over her shoulder at me somehow feeling my eyes, quickly turning to face me with her hands on her hips. If looks could kill, you know the rest.

Orlando was a jovial fellow taking my actions as an endorsement of Dulce's attractiveness in the way some guys will, before smoothing things out with his crush. We shared a proclivity for women with a wealth of "Junk in the Trunk". Now, here I was sitting in his truck as we sped along the I-405 to some woman's home who probably didn't like me one bit. He kept assuring me that everything was okay and that she didn't care who came along as long as her cousin got some action. It seemed Maria had become a terror to live with making Dulce's potential suitors bolt from the home by the dozens. The situation in the small track house on the outskirts of the county line had become dire making Dulce readily accept any willing suitor for her cousin. I probably should have asked more questions, but I was just as desperate after my five-month deluge with my last relationship ending when I discovered my "girlfriend" was actually married with four kids. I was completely oblivious because she was regularly letting me tap her 44-Inch butt on the sly. It seemed like she spent an inordinate amount of time at my flat getting fucked doggy style for the majority of it. I'd become accustomed to waxing her big, round butt with cum and losing that access was wearing hard on me. I asked Orlando if Maria had a big butt like her cousin earning a knowing chuckle.

"BIGGEST of the BIG, my friend." His words echoed in my head making me overly anxious to meet this woman.

I looked out at the surrounding neighborhood as my predominantly black area gave way to the adjacent latin area separated by the freeway and the airport. It was a small tight knit working class community of blue collar factory and hotel workers for the most part. The store signs went from English to Spanish in the blink of an eye as we neared our destination, a trailer park called Shady Oaks. Dulce and Maria had small home at the end of the drive that was a little further apart from the other residences. There were more than a few unsavory types loitering around near the entrance as we drove into park. I tried to look tough even while making sure to avoid eye contact with guys that looked like thugs and druggies. I kicked myself realizing that I'd be stuck out here in the boondocks if the trip turned out to be a bust. Orlando was playing his music loud with his windows rolled down as I noticed a few lights going on in some of the trailers as we drive by towards our destination. I began to doubt his words wondering if I was falling into some kind of trap. Maybe he was a serial killer or something? There was a wooded area near by that gave me pause. I nervously asked about Maria again.

"BIGGEST of the BIG, my friend." He replied again with jovial certainty.

Dulce soon appeared through the windshield going from a tiny spec to a larger than life individual standing on her frayed lawn smoking what I thought was a cigarette but was actually a joint. The short, squat Latina was wearing a tight-fitting tank with spaghetti straps that left a little of her baby, muffin top exposed over cut off brown Daisy Dukes that looked more like panties than jean shorts. She wore a pair of cowboy boots at the end of her shapely legs. Dulce was just over five feet in height if even that. Her dark hair was adorned with a large ornate pin that spoke of her heritage. It was just the harsh, abrasive expression on her roundish face that I couldn't get past. For some reason, Dulce looked like she'd be a wild fuck if nothing else; probably only good for doggy style with her chunky, squarish butt. She noticeably took a few steps back from the car as we pulled into her driveway. She had been standing near the passenger side and her actions gave me pause. Orlando shrugged his shoulders waving off my apprehension with a practiced lazy smile.

"Maybe I should just stay in the car."

"Come on, don't be that way; I told you that her cousin..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah; she got a big ass, right?" My skepticism bubbled to the top.

"No, it's the BIGGEST of the BIG; No me jodas esta mierda, hombre!!" Orlando seemed a little put off, perhaps because he was at the precipice of his quest to bed Dulce.

She certainly didn't make things easy ushering Orlando off to the side for a private conversation never taking a suspicious eye off me while they conversed in spanish. I was completely at their mercy popping out my phone to check a few messages. I sent an insurance text to a few people and updated my Facebook status with my location as I scanned the seedy looking area. I noticed a few disparate people visiting the trailer across the street simply picking up something at the front door only to disappear as quickly as they appeared.

"Hey homie, I need to ask you a little bit of a favor, alright?" Orlando returned looking a little apprehensive.

"You want me to wait in the car?"

"No man, I just owe Dulce a little cash; got dollars?"

"Seriously?" I wanted to pancake his face with an open hand. I wondered if Dulce and her cousin were prostitutes as I forked over the cash.

I resolved to at least find out whether Orlando was lying about Maria or not, if only to put that burning curiosity to rest. He'd never done anything sideways since we'd met, and I resolved to give him a little bit of trust until the proverbial other shoe dropped. Dulce stared at me for a few minutes before walking up the short concrete path to her front door. This afforded both of us a look at her thick, looking chunky butt which was somewhat of an anomaly in and of itself. It was wide enough to be considered big but didn't really stick out. It had a sort of "fat flatness" if that's any indication. Her cheeks were peeking out from the bottoms of her homemade shorts. The under cuff where her butt met her thighs was a perfect straight line from one end of her thighs to the other. I was a little underwhelmed at the sight, preferring meatier fare. Dulce tossed open her screen door walking with this kind of emphasis on her hips that told us that she was aware of our eyes. She seemed to have an arrogance about her that went hand-in-hand with her harsh homegrown beauty. I felt like flipping her the bird as I surveyed her over furnished living room that could best be described as "Latin Urban Chic". There was a wealth of history with multiple photos of family members in color and black and white, ornate old styled furniture and various knickknacks. The place smelled heavily of potpourri intermingled with weed, leaving this kind of sweet bitterness in your nostrils as we moved into a short, hallway. Dulce suddenly turned with this menacing glare regarding me as Orlando stumbled a bit surprised by her quick movement. We stood in front of what was likely her bedroom door.

"No sé si confío en ti, pero mi primo necesita tener sexo. YOU-GO-THERE!" Dulce pointed towards a room at the end of the corridor which was covered by a multi-colored beaded curtain. The corridor was darkened as I stared at the room adjacent to the tiny kitchen. That kitchen simplicity at its best resembling something out of the fifties with basic appliances and a thin card table as its centerpiece. I looked back over my shoulder in time to see Orlando patting Dulce's butt as they entered the room half slamming the door behind themselves. I stared at the beaded curtain noticing that it had the colors of the Mexican flag. The door behind it was sturdy and solid looking like it had been attached at some later date. There was a decal of a BBW Mudflap Girl on the door as some kind of calling card. The decal glowed a little under the low nightlight emanating from a small bulb plugged into a socket on an adjacent kitchen countertop. I could hear a television on the other side of the door. I considered my options wondering if I should just go back and wait in the car.

"Come in." She called out to me from the other side of the door as if she were psychic. I felt a jolt of fear run through my body as I cautiously turned the knob.

The bedroom on the other side was a little bit larger than I would have thought just staring at the door like I was a few seconds earlier. The first thing I noticed was a larger entertainment center with a large flat screen television as its centerpiece. I noticed a surround sound system that was active blaring with sound effects of some sort of space battle depicted on the television. I stepped onto the plush, pink carpeting noticing various discarded articles of clothing strewn about as I stared at the television instantly recognizing the show from my distant childhood.

"Space 1999?"

"Oh, you know this show; I thought I was the only one still watching it after all this time." She sounded like what you'd probably think a chubby girl would sound like as I followed the sound of her voice to a large partition obscuring her from view. Her unkempt, queen sized bed seemed to be elevated almost level with my abdomen. The Art Deco styled room divider was on the far side of the bed leaving room for Maria and whatever she was doing.

"It's not in syndication; I was streaming it until it just dropped from my service without warning."

"There's still social media and I've been burning it off Y-Tube." Maria chortled; I didn't detect the slightest hint of an accent.

"I wouldn't give those internet Nazis my money; so what do you like about the show?"

"Well, it's the "REALEST SCI-FI" you can find these days that doesn't seem homogenized as fuck; I mean, every episode feels like anybody could buy it. When was the last time you thought that about any of those shitty Trek shows or Crap Wars, know what I'm saying?" She'd put some serious thought into her answer.

"Don't even get me started." I chortled, noticing the sound of a sewing machine behind the partition.

"I don't know, I just love the show and its old school effects." I looked around at some boxes of clothing and her vanity table in front of the only window in the room which had shut blinds. There were a number of computer accessories on the table instead of the usual makeup. A large number of unopened envelopes were scattered about the room as well.

"I come at a bad time; you seem kind of busy."

"No, not at all; I'm kind of a procrastinator and I had to take care of something before tomorrow morning. Besides, I'm kind of apprehensive about things even though I liked the way our conversation started just now."

"So, you don't want me to see you?"

"Probably delaying the inevitable, I at least want to get a good conversation out of you before you bolt from the place screaming."

"Really, I'm intrigued. You got, like a third eye or something back there?"

"No, actually I have one huge cyclopean eye like that animated chick on Futurama, big as fuck."

"Sexy." Maria laughed continuing to work on whatever project was in front of her.

"Really, that don't bother you, huh? How about a big, fucking hump in my back too?" I noticed at least six laptop computers around the room, all active.

"Cool with that too; what's up with all the computers?"

"I like to keep busy, got more than a few irons in the fire. Making a living in here; got to pay the bills and shit."

"What do you "DO" for a living?" I wondered if she was a hacker as I noticed all the major gaming systems in her entertainment center along with a few I didn't recognize.

"You first."

"I have the prerequisite cubicle afforded to a customer service representative for one of largest online stores on the west coast. Truly a dead-end job, I assure you, good lady." She chuckled again, amused at my comments.

"No shit, homeboy; well, I'm a designated shopper, online too, and a game tester, seamstress in case you hadn't noticed, some other things in the uhm, grey area of the law and last but definitely not least-an entertainer of sorts." I still had the feeling she was leaving out a few things.

"Entertainer?"

"Yeah, it's my thing you know, what balances me out and pays a lot of the bills around here." Maria responded casually.

"Musician?"

"No."

"Blogger uhm, movie reviewer?"

"I do that for fun, but no."

"Actress?"

"Kind of, like yeah; people pay to see me. It's uh, almost a full time job for most of the week with weekends off because I'm the fucking boss of me. I tried the 9 to 5 thing and it really didn't suit me all that much. Actually, I got fired from my cashier job at fucking Target after I got a little out of control." I could tell she was speaking from the heart.

"I feel you; I want to walk out of my job everyday but who'd pay my bills?"

"Well if you play your cards right, I wouldn't mind keeping you on as a cabana boy. What size shoe you wear by the way, cutie?" Maria's quick wit and were fast winning me over as I pivoted looking back at the show on her television.

"Size thirteen; what'd you do to get canned at Target?"

"Some shithead was taking pictures of me, so I sat on his fucking head. Did I mention that people "Pay to See me" huh?"

"Yeah, what's up with that?"

"First things first, what'd Orlando tell you about me, specifically." I paused remembering the simple description I'd been given that was the truest reason I was standing in that bedroom.

"It's okay, I have thick skin." Maria reassured sounding like she already knew the answer.

"So, I spill and you uh, cut out the Golden Child bit with that room divider?" The sound of the sewing machine suddenly stopped.

"Maybe."

"Well uh, the way it was put to me was that you're... BIGGEST of the BIG." I'd finally gotten it out after a brief struggle in which I considered lying and saying Orlando identified her as a nice girl or some other lame shit.

"Well, can't get any more specific than that, huh?" I didn't know how to respond after getting it out there in the open. I thought maybe Maria would kick me out of her room or blow up. I heard her fumble around a bit behind the room divider realizing that she was looking for a remote when the volume on the television suddenly muted.

"Well, it's showtime I guess." The tone in her voice changed sounding anxious.

"Huh?" A small black bag cleared the top of the partition landing on the bed in front of me. I picked it up examining the velvety texture before realizing it was a hood meant for my head.

"You want me to put this on my head?"

"Well, indulge me just this one last time before we formerly meet face to face. I'd like to come out fully before you bolt from the house screaming. Sit on the floor facing the door; I want you to get the full effect of this shit." The emotion in her voice was palpable making me determined to play it off no matter what I saw when she came out. Our interaction had been pleasant enough before things quickly came to a head. I wondered if perhaps I should've waited a little longer before squatting down as instructed.

"Okay." I sat there with the bag in my hands starring into the darkness of the hood.

"You're not wearing it, no fair."

"How do you know?"

"Webcam, won't you put it on if only for a few seconds?" I noticed a webcam mounted on top of her flat screen television. Maria had been watching me the whole time and I didn't know how I felt about that. I pulled the hood over my head sitting indian style on the carpet facing the door as she'd instructed. I could hear some movement as Maria went to the trouble of putting on some mood music. Missy Elliott's "Beep Me 911" serenaded my ears as I detected more movement that seemed to shake the floor a bit. Maria wasn't a small girl, I'd figured out that much; but how big was she actually going to be when the hood came off?

"Uhm, you can take it off now." Her voice faltered a little revealing a sliver of vulnerability that made me want to keep my eyes shut a few seconds longer if it would make her feel better.

I took the hood off slowly opening my eyes as Maria Lorena Espinoza came into view...

The young woman standing in front of me resembled actress Ariel Winter albeit with a slightly darker olive skin tone, a cute pixie whose face was framed by long curly brunette tresses that appeared to extend beyond her shoulders. She had a cute button nose and prominent dimples at the corners of her mouth which was twisted into an awkward sort of smirk. Her expressive hazel colored eyes darted about afraid to look directly at me for a few seconds as we shared this awkward moment in time.

"Uhm, wow." I mumbled, completely caught off guard.

"Yeah, I get that a lot; too much in fact and that's why I got all the fucking jobs around here; it's kind of hard for me to get around in public."

Maria was indeed a very large girl; freakishly large enough to obscure the door behind her as she stood before me demurely with hands crossed behind her back. She had to outweigh me by at least a hundred and fifty pounds looking to be upwards of five eight in height. I took it all in as she stood there silently waiting to see what my reaction would be. Her comments regarding the reason for losing her job made even sense now that I was looking at her. Whoever that annoying kid was that attempted to photograph her without permission, had paid the price in spades. I wondered if he were still alive after being literally squashed by this cute, big girl.

"Wow."

"Yeah, we kind of did that part, already; you okay?" Maria half chuckled revealing even more of her nervousness as I leaned forward staring at her body. She was wearing this super-sized, XXXL, pink t-shirt and nothing else. From the top of her head to the widest point of her hips to her tiny looking feet, Maria possessed a perfect diamond shape. Abnormally so, she was large enough to obscure parts of the door behind her with hips alone; a gigantic triangular, pear shape informed her figure with something peculiar catching my eye. Maria's body was a gigantic parody of itself with very minimal cellulite on her exposed, uncharacteristically shapely legs which tapered off into perfect ankles and cute, little meaty feet.

"¡ mierda, estás quemando un agujero en mi maldito novio!" It was the first time I heard Maria speak spanish in a nervous hushed tone as she looked everywhere but my face.

"But I haven't seen your ass, yet." I responded in perfect English, watching as her eyes lit up with the knowledge that I was at least, partially bilingual.

"So, you into the Big and Tall, my friend; you a closet fetishist for fatties, huh?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"Should I be scared, you aren't a crazy, stalker psycho or something, are you?"

"No, are you? It is your room in your house and I was invited to meet you. I'll admit to being intrigued because of a peculiar description of a certain body part of yours that I have yet to see. Besides, you're just wearing a t-shirt when its all said and done." My gaze centered on her voluptuous thighs as the humidity in the room seemed to ramp up a bit.