Bike Trip

I was in the rec room watching a football game when she came in and sat on the couch with me. She told me she was horny and asked me if I was. I was always horny these days and told her so. Do you want to go first or do you want me to? You choose, I said, not sure of what she meant. She quickly slid off the couch onto her knees and pulled at my pants which I pushed down. As she took me in her hand she asked me if I wanted to see her breasts. I did. When she took off her bra she handed it to me and concentrated on my prick which she was stroking slowly, asking me if she was doing it right. When I didn't answer she stopped and looked at me a bit annoyed. She said the whole point of this was to learn how to do it right. So, tell me, she insisted.

I was slumped in the chair looking at her breasts, her stiff nipples, feeling the fabric of her bra. I was feeling like I was in a brand new world filled with love, exquisite feelings and intimacy. I caressed her hair as I strained against her fingers. I offered a few suggestions, the main one to be more gentle. It didn't take long. She cleaned me up with a soft cup of her bra.

Harriet spoke for the first time. "What were you feeling when you were doing this? Were you you feeling it was right? Wrong? What?"

It was wrong, I knew that, we knew that but neither of us cared and anyway, after that first time she touched me it didn't feel wrong any longer. Hard to explain but ya, sure, it was wrong but it wasn't to me and it wasn't to her. We were just experimenting. It even seemed a little natural, I mean we loved each other anyway so what was the big deal? I wasn't putting it in her.

"But you did, eventually."

"Ya, but by that time it was just a natural step in the exploration. Again, no big deal."

She shifted. She had been lying on her back, now she changed to her side. "This is pretty hot, you know. Pretty cool." She was looking at me like she was impressed. "Go on. I interrupted."

Annie knew I didn't know anything about the female body, or sex so there was no point in me trying to be cool or casual about it. When she sat back on the couch, I got down on the floor as she had and reached for her pants like she had reached for mine. She pushed while I pulled then she lay down on the couch and took my hand.

Then she did a really surprising thing. She pulled my head down and kissed me on the lips, gently and whispered 'you're all external, we're all internal, the smell and the taste and the mystery. Explore it, OK? With your eyes and your fingers.' I'll never forget those words. She must have known how I was feeling. She gave me me permission to explore her.

I spent a long time down there. She named all the bits and, holding my finger, she showed me where she was most sensitive. Then she closed her eyes and turned her head away and let me go solo with my fingers. It was magic. I was doing something that was bringing my sister unbelievable pleasure: squirming, panting, moans. It was an intimacy that made me think of her in a whole different way and it has stayed with me to this day.

"Tell me about that."

"It's simple. It was physical. The last barrier between us had been removed. I still feel like that: that there are no barriers between my sister and me: I love her unconditionally, in ways well beyond the way I think of Catherine who is pretty amazing, too. She caught us once. We didn't know she was home. We were in my room, Annie was naked. I was about to suck her nipples while bringing her off. Catherine was in the hallway. She just laughed and closed the door. Annie was pretty impressed, too. She's told me much later that Catherine had never mentioned it."

Harriet was quiet, looking at my chest. I waited for her to say something. But she didn't for awhile and I was getting concerned. Finally, she broke the silence. "When you were fooling around with your sister I was about your age and I hadn't even looked at myself, never mind touched myself."

"Why not? I'd touched myself long before my sister touched me."

She didn't answer immediately, then she dismissed it with a flick of her hand. "It's a long story. I'll tell you about it sometime. But not now. Go back to your sister. She said women were all about taste and smell. Did you eat her?"

It was the way she said it. "Are you getting off on this?"

She looked at me as if I was a twit. "Totally. And I think she was dead right. If I had been like her I wouldn't have wasted all these fucking years." She put her head on my chest. "I want that relationship, Jim. I don't want any barriers between us. I want to be able to tell you everything about me, about what I'm feeling and thinking and which parts to touch. I want to talk about my tastes and smells, that would absolutely thrill me. The whole thought of intimacy just turns me on. I've never had any."

"What was that earlier this evening? With Janet and Lisbeth?"

"Sex, girl-sex, intimacy of a sort, I guess, but not what you're talking about, an unconditional intimacy. It certainly wasn't that." Now she looked up at me. "You've never looked at me. You've never turned all the lights on and looked at me. Why not?"

"Would you freak? I had no idea. I have no idea what I can get away with with you."

Annoyance flashed on her face. "We've talked about that. If things go wrong you stick around and we deal with it. I have no idea how I'll react, but Jeez, you know what I want, risk it."

I didn't know what she wanted. I hadn't a clue. But I wanted to find out

We had a brief nap just after the sky grew light. But we were up before seven, showered, dressed and breakfasted before 8 and putting the panniers on our bikes soon thereafter. We deliberately avoided any audience; we wanted to start our journey with determination, not fanfare.

We were straddling our loaded bikes when I gave her a punch on the arm. "Good luck and happy trails," then I pushed off and added over my shoulder, cleverly, I thought, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single peddle."

I heard back. "'When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.'"

It took us most of an hour to wind through the city and catch the tertiary road heading east. I peddled slowly, all my anxiety replaced by a new reality. This wasn't going to be about a bike trip; about pain, challenge, adventure. The trip wasn't going to be about seeing new countries, meeting new people. I knew that now, I knew this trip was going to be, not a physical journey, but a spiritual journey. Ya, she was right. She was dead fucking on. I wanted to let go of who I am; I wanted to start to become who I might be.

When we turned our peddles we were letting go, and we were heading out to what we might be, and together, our prospects were absolutely thrilling.