Bird Woman: Naked Superhero

The following morning, her picture was all over the news again. Her thirty minutes of fame and glory. There was even some video footage on You Tube of her fight with the gang. The news photos censored her boobs and genital area as she expected. Some of the headlines read: BIRD WOMAN FIGHTS GANG, PREVENTS RAPE OF TEEN; BIRD WOMAN RESCUES TEENAGER FROM RAPISTS; BIRD WOMAN PRAISED BY FEMINIST GROUPS FOR STOPPING RAPE; BIRD WOMAN GETS POLITICAL.

She pasted these clippings in her scrapbook.

A few weeks later, she and her family went to a powwow. Her clinic had an information booth set up there and she took turns with her coworkers manning it. A good number of people stopped by, but not to pick up flyers and brochures. Instead, they chatted with them about the new superhero in town. Their very own community based heroine.

As far as Yvonne could tell, no one knew it was her, not even her closest friends and relatives. She saw bumper stickers in the parking lot that read: BIRD WOMAN FOR PRESIDENT.

That night, she and her friends went to play pool at Club Mallard. Shooting balls at another table was a young, slender Indian man with his black hair tied back in a ponytail. He looked up as she approached, smiling.

"Hi, Will," she said, giving him a warm hug.

"Hey, long time, no see. How've you been?"

"Good. And you?"

He drank some beer. "Did I tell you I'm in graduate school at Berkeley?"

"I remember you mentioning wanting to get your MSW."

"Well, that's what I'm doing now. I like it so far."

"Cool. When you get out, come work at my clinic," she said, chuckling.

"Are you gonna pay me the big bucks?"

"Maybe." She introduced him to her friends, and Will introduced her to his. They played a couple rounds of pool.

"How are your parents?" Will asked.

"They miss you," she replied, grinning. "You're the son-in-law they never had."

His smile was playful. "Oh, c'mon, don't embarrass me. We're in front of friends here."

She laughed. "They ask about you a lot. My mom wants to know if lasagna's still your favorite dish."

"It certainly is. And hers is the best."

"It's settled then. You're having dinner with us Friday night."

"Perfect. We're back together already," he said, laughing.

"I'll even play your favorite song," she said, walking to the jukebox. She dropped a coin in and it blared out "With or Without You" by U2.

* * *

After her substance abuse support group ended, Yvonne had a team meeting with the clinic staff. They discussed various cases, especially the ones involving difficult, angry clients. She presented a challenging case regarding a pregnant, homeless fifteen-year-old girl. It blew everyone's mind away, and made some teary-eyed. Some of her colleagues provided great feedback and she jotted them all down on her pad.

When her work day was done, she went home, and took off all her clothes. After donning the bird mask that covered half of her face, she headed to the roof of her apartment building and flew into the air. She scanned the environment below, seeing if there were any crimes in progress. It was late afternoon but there was still a lot of light.

She soon reached the Rockridge area of Oakland, seeing a flood of cars and buses fill the streets during rush hour. It looked real ugly. Hovering above College Avenue, she waited and observed. When there was no activity, she flew downtown and stood on top of a skyscraper, watching the busy streets below. A news helicopter covering after work traffic was near her, the cameraman filming her. She smiled and waved at him. He winked at her, and then the chopper flew off.

She hopped from rooftop to rooftop, finally landing on the Bank of America building overlooking Lake Merritt. A male construction crew was working there, stopping immediately the moment she arrived. Everyone's mouth dropped wide open, staring at her body.

"Hi, fellas," she said, grinning pleasantly. "Don't let me keep you from your jobs. I'm just doing mine, if you don't mind me staying up here, that is."

"Not at all," the lead foreman said.

"Thank you." As she scanned below, she caught the guys checking out her backside occasionally. Moments later, she needed to use the restroom. What timing! But even superheroes had to use the bathroom. Standing there naked on top of a tall building with a bunch of horny construction workers, she tried to think of a place she could relieve herself. Finally, she jumped in the air and flew down to a public restroom located in Children's Fairyland.

Mothers gasped, covering their children's eyes as she walked barefoot into the ladies' room. When she was finished, she flew back to a downtown skyscraper. Nothing. She perched on top of the Tribune building but it was slow there, too. Where was all the crime today?

She decided to return to College Avenue, a wealthy, upscale part of the city. When she was past the Rockridge BART station, she saw a group of guys in Halloween masks bolt out of a bank into a getaway car. The car sped off, heading towards Berkeley. She swooped down quickly and landed on the roof of the car.

Peering into the driver's side window, she said, "Pull over."

"Shit, it's Bird Woman!" the driver said. He wore a Nixon mask.

"I'll take of her," a man wearing a vampire mask said. He took out a gun, leaned out the window, and aimed it at her. She tried to kick the weapon out of his hand but he ducked back in. Seconds later, he stuck out the window again and fired two rounds at her. Miraculously, the bullets bounced off her bare chest. The man's eyes widened in surprise.

"Cool," Yvonne said, looking at her uninjured body.

The man shot her three more times, but the bullets didn't do any damage. She kicked the pistol out of his hand, and then told the driver to stop again. When he ignored her, she poked her head next to him, opened her mouth, and hurled a sonic beam at them. The deafening sound made them cover their ears, screaming. The driver pulled over at the corner of Ashby and College. They still had their ears covered when she got off the car's roof. A crowd gathered to watch.

"Get out," she said.

They obeyed, and she flagged down an approaching police car. Suddenly, the group of four fled up College, with bags in their hands. She ran barefoot after them. Unfortunately, super speed was not among her powers but she was slowly catching up to them.

The driver pushed people out of his way, even knocking away a baby stroller. Yvonne leaped across a couple who were sitting at an outdoor café table. She helped retrieve the baby stroller, returning it to the mother. She ran as fast as her huge, muscular legs could carry her. But she was still trying to get used to running barefoot, especially on concrete. When she was just yards away from the pack, she opened her mouth wide, and shot out another sonic beam. The piercing noise stopped them immediately. They, like everyone else around them, covered their ears.

Yvonne caught her breath as two patrol cars pulled over.

A female cop approached her, smiling. "I don't envy your job."

An elderly woman shook her head in disapproval. "Cover yourself up, child."

Will had dinner with her and her family. After the meal, Yvonne and him sat in the living room and played a game of Scrabble. She noticed he kept looking at her with his flirtatious eyes. She wore a dark sleeveless blouse, tight black slacks, and flip flops.

"Thanks again for inviting me over," he said.

"You're very welcome. I'm glad you're having a good time."

"So is this the continuation of our once beautiful, romantic relationship?"

She shot him a sly grin. "Possibly. . .we never should've broken up in the first place but school and work was really overwhelming me at the time. Sorry about ending it so abruptly."

"You don't have to apologize. I understand." He looked at her thoughtfully. "Shall we give it another try?"

"Absolutely."

THE END