Birds of Prey - Hetero Edition

"They say that the setting sun's colors are a premonition of the coming day," Maza said, noticing that he was staring at it.

"And what do pink and orange mean to a Valbaran?"

"Pink is love and romance, orange is somewhere between anger and surprise, blue is sadness."

"Somehow, I doubt that you get many greens and purples in your sunsets."

She fluttered her feathers in a Valbaran shrug.

"It's just a myth. There's a lot of pink today, though..."

They descended the escalator that led to the city street. Once again, the crowds of Valbarans gawked at the aliens, their heads pivoting on their long necks to get a look. This time, Maza had no patience for press conferences, her flock surrounding the two humans as they ferried them away. They must have made one of their plans at some point, because they knew exactly where they were going, in perfect coordination as they pushed and dragged the humans towards their destination.

Valbaran cities were far smaller than their human equivalents, and it didn't take long before Jaeger found himself in a side street, away from the prying eyes of the crowds. Here, only a few Valbaran flocks disturbed them, peering at the aliens as they passed them by.

There was an abundance of neon signs here, the alien text that adorned them indecipherable, but it was such an oddly human sight. If it had not been for the strange lettering, he might have assumed that he was in some East Asian city like Hong Kong or Shanghai, maybe Tokyo. The signs came in all colors, mostly yellows that no doubt promised excitement, and greens that perhaps promised relaxation or tranquility. He would have to ask Maza about more of their colors and how they related to different emotions. It was easy to guess some of them based on the context, but he had never seen any of the green hues before.

This was the only place that he had visited within the walls of the Valbaran city that didn't look like it had been thoughtfully sculpted. There were no rolling hills here, no trees or flowers, no swooping buttresses or elaborate decorations. It was just a regular alley that was sandwiched between two large buildings, nothing clinical or planned about it. There were exposed cables hanging between the two structures, and many of the signs were askew. The buildings blocked the sunlight to make it darker, it all looked very makeshift. A hiccup in the grand design, perhaps?

Maza noticed his confused expression, tugging him along by the hand as she explained.

"Even we can't foresee every eventuality, sometimes city planners fail to account for certain factors or make mistakes. Here we have an alleyway where there was supposed to be some kind of facility or service, but it was deemed unnecessary sometime after it was constructed, and subsequently abandoned. Entrepreneurs moved in and took advantage of the vacant space."

"Is that the only way that Valbarans can start their own businesses?" Jaeger asked. He hadn't thought about it until now, but if everything was pre-planned, how did they account for people wanting to open their own stores or purchase more land? Expansion was impossible in a walled city.

"Not entirely, there are a certain number of buildings and allotments created for that purpose, but this is one of the more...unorthodox establishments."

"Illegal..?" Jaeger asked apprehensively.

"Not illegal, no. Val'ba'ra'nay consider such places...unsavory. There's a word in our language that has no translation in yours, it means to act outside of the plan. This establishment acts outside of the plan."

"But you're bringing us here all the same?"

"You said that you wanted to see what we do for fun," she said with a shrug, "and places like this can be fun."

"Come on," Coza said, giving him a shove from behind. "You faced the jaws of the Teth'rak, Earth'nay, you can face this too. Baker shares none of your fears."

"Dive bar," Baker whispered, nudging Jaeger with his elbow.

"Don't eat or drink anything until we scan it first," Jaeger warned, patting the pocket where he had stored the food scanning device.

Maza led them towards a small door at the base of one of the buildings, all of the neon signs appeared to be directing pedestrians to it. It might otherwise have been invisible from the street, but still, that was a lot of fucking signs for one dive bar.

He and Baker ducked under the low doorway, proceeding down a narrow staircase into what looked like a dingy basement. If this place wasn't illegal, it was certainly as close to illegal as one could get before the police came knocking.

"The main reason that I'm bringing you here is because it will be quiet," she explained as she held another door open for him. "There are upscale restaurants in the city, but they'll be packed, and we would spend the whole night fighting off curious locals. I thought that some privacy might be appreciated."

Jaeger ducked through another doorway and emerged into some kind of dingy parlor. The ceiling was low enough that he had to slouch to avoid bumping his head, and immediately, something that smelled like herbs or maybe incense reached his nose. He was standing in a roughly circular room with no windows, as it was below street level, and the walls were adorned with the same style of fabric curtains that he had seen in Maza's bedroom. It was lit with a similar red glow, and the air was thick with what looked like cigarette smoke, the floor carpeted in a thick shag. There was what might be a bar off to one side, and there were a few tables scattered about the center of the space, some of them occupied by locals who turned their heads to peer at the visitors. Around the circumference of the room were a series of booths separated by low walls, seemingly designed to grant the occupants some privacy. The interiors were packed with cushions like those that the Valbarans slept on, arranged around a low table, clearly designed to let the occupants lounge around while they presumably ate or drank.

Maza led the group over to one of the booths, the Valbarans taking seats on the plush cushions. With their long tails, they weren't especially suited to sitting down in the way that a human would, at least not without their director's chairs. Instead, they lounged slightly on their sides as they shifted their weight to get comfortable. Baker and Jaeger joined them, there wasn't much leg room between the seating and the table, and so Jaeger sat cross-legged while Baker sat with his knees up near his chin. The curtains that decorated the walls of the booth were hanging a little low for their liking too, brushing against them from behind.

They got some stares from the other patrons, but the interest quickly evaporated, they seemed more concerned with whatever it was that they were drinking from what looked like champagne flutes. Trouble in paradise perhaps? Yilgarn wasn't all whitewashed metal and happy smiles after all. In a way, Jaeger felt relieved, their seemingly perfect society had been starting to make him feel inadequate.

Seeing that they had chosen a booth, one of the several aliens who was staffing the counter made its way over to them, talking with Maza for a moment before leaving again. The two humans watched curiously, wondering what was going to happen next.

"So is this like a bar?" Jaeger asked, "like the one we showed you on the Rorke?"

"A little," Maza replied. "I think they serve the same purpose, even if the substances are different."

"Do Valbarans drink alcohol?" Baker wondered, watching the other patrons who were sipping from their glass tubes.

"We ferment grains to make alcohol," Xico confirmed as she lay on the cushions across from them, "though Earth'nay seem to be able to consume more of it. Probably due to your larger size."

A different Valbaran walked over, carrying something on a metal tray, and set it down in the middle of the table. It was a vaguely bulb-shaped device with a long neck, a bowl at the top, and half a dozen flexible hoses trailing out of it. It seemed to be made from blown glass, embellished with colorful resins or maybe metals in shades of green.

Maza reached over, picking up a small container that was resting beside the device on the tray, upending it into the bowl and placing a metal cap that was dotted with ventilation holes over the top of it. The stuff had looked like dried grass or maybe tobacco. There was some kind of heating element in the top, and she lit it with the press of a switch, a red glow emanating from the device.

"What's this?" Jaeger asked, watching as Coza reached over to pick up one of the tubes. She pressed the tip of it against her lips, the flexible hose adorned with what looked a little like a metal whistle. When she drew on it, a bubbling sound emanated from the vase-shaped bottom of the device, the alien leaning back into the cushions and exhaling a cloud of smoke or vapor.

"Oh, it's like a hookah!" Baker exclaimed. Jaeger shot him a questioning look.

"A what?"

"A hookah. It's for smoking. I guess the Valbarans smoke!"

"What's in there?" Jaeger asked warily, directing his question towards Maza as she took another one of the tubes in her hand and drew on it for a moment.

"A mixture of dried herbs and fruits," she said, grey smoke trailing out of her mouth with every word and reminding Jaeger of a fire breathing dragon. "You should try it, I doubt there's anything in there that your kind can't tolerate."

Baker leaned forward to pick up one of the tubes, but Jaeger batted his hand away.

"Use the scanner, for fuck's sake. For all you know, this shit could make your lungs collapse."

Jaeger rummaged in his pocket for the handheld device, holding it up to the hookah as Baker leaned closer to read the tiny display. The vase-like base was simply full of water, while the tray on the top contained a mixture of plant fibers and fruit sugars. The chemical compounds were more complex, however. There were significant traces of something analogous to nicotine, along with a lesser amount of something that the scanner listed as tetrahydrocannabinol.

"The scanner says it's safe to consume, but I don't think this thing has a setting for smoking," Jaeger said. "I don't recognize this chemical either, any ideas Baker?"

"That's THC," Baker chuckled.

"Is that supposed to mean something to me?"

"It's pot, dude. Cannabis. These guys must have something similar to hemp that grows here."

"Oh," Jaeger mumbled, not sure how to react. The flock of aliens were all drawing on their respective hoses, and there was one left for the two humans, the smoke that they exhaled rising to join the thick smog that was already hanging in the air. This wasn't so much a bar as a smoking lounge.

Ayau took a long draw, letting the wisps of smoke rise from her nostrils, then sank into the nest of cushions as her headdress flared in a relaxed shade of green.

"Do Earth'nay not partake?" Maza asked, cocking her head.

"Hell, I'll try it," Baker said.

"Hang on, I don't know if we should be getting high in uniform," Jaeger warned. "Or at all. We're still on call, what if something happens and we need to report in?"

"Anything that gets these little guys wasted won't do much more than give us a buzz," Baker said. "And besides, Captain Fielding sent us here to investigate the alien culture, we're ambassadors! It would be rude to refuse."

The aliens were a lot smaller than the humans, maybe the hit really was a lot more powerful for them than it would be for him and Baker. He watched as his friend lifted one of the tubes to his lips and drew on it, blowing a smoke ring that rose slowly into the air, the flock of aliens watching with wide eyes.

"Do that again!" Ayau exclaimed. Apparently, the Valbarans had never seen someone do that trick before. Baker obliged, a yellow flutter of excitement passing around the table as they chittered and warbled. If they had known how to clap, they probably would have applauded him.

"I didn't know you were a smoker," Jaeger said, Baker shrugging as he took another puff from the hookah.

"Let's just say that I did a lot more than studying during my college years."

Another Valbaran approached their table, talking briefly with Maza in their native language before returning to the counter. This establishment must be run by a flock, was this one taking their orders?

"Should we be ordering anything?" Jaeger asked, "do we need money?"

"Don't worry about it," Maza said, "just relax. We'll take care of the rest."

"We won't have much use for money if we're going to be dead in a few days," Coza added, laughing bitterly. "I hadn't been born yet when Ker'gue'la fell, I had only ever seen Bugs in pictures and video files, recordings from the war. Now I've seen one with my own two eyes, I've touched it, it was as real as you or I. It was walking around on our planet, digging in our dirt, it slipped right past our defenses. Tell me Earth'nay, is what your Captain said true? Will our defenses be useless against a Bug invasion fleet?"

The flock watched him expectantly as he attempted to formulate a reply that wouldn't further darken the mood, puffing on their hoses. He decided to skirt the issue altogether, trying to instill a little hope in the aliens.

"It doesn't matter. With our upgrades, your defense platforms are going to be equipped with the same railguns that we use on our gunboats. Those twenty-millimeter cannons will shred small fighters that get close. We have the Rorke, the support fleet, a whole squadron of Beewolfs. It's all top of the line, cutting edge."

"This isn't our first rodeo," Baker added, "we're seasoned exterminators. A Bug fleet has never taken down a UNN carrier, not even once. I ain't been shot down yet, and I don't intend to start any time soon."

His bluster seemed to put Coza more at ease, the alien nodding appreciatively as she flashed her plumes in a shade of deep red.

"You Earth'nay are braver than I gave you credit for. I wasn't sure that you were being sincere before, when you said that you were here to help us. I thought that the Ensi trusted you too readily. After all, we spend twenty rotations building up our defenses, and then an alien fleet jumps in out of nowhere and volunteers to protect us? It sounded too good to be true. What if the second you gained control, you just turned everything off and took the planet in a day? What made your people better suited to the job than ours? The Bugs weren't friendly, why should you be any different? Your ships were equipped for war, after all."

She took another long draw from the hookah, which seemed to calm her nerves, leaning back against the cushions as she turned her head towards the ceiling and exhaled slowly.

"But today, I saw you two save Xico and the others. Jaeger, I watched you pluck that soldier from the very jaws of the Teth'rak. You didn't even know her name, but you risked your life for hers. That's no small thing, not in our culture, at least."

She didn't say it in so many words, but Jaeger was starting to get the impression that they had earned the surly alien's respect, perhaps even her trust.

"All in a day's work," Baker said.

"Perhaps if we survive this," she continued, "there might be a future for us in your Coalition."

What must be the waiter returned with another tray, this one loaded with the same champagne flutes that Jaeger had seen the other patrons using. They were thin and tall, made from glass or some kind of clear plastic, kind of like test tubes. They were filled with a vaguely yellow-colored, but otherwise transparent liquid. The alien set the tray down on the table and then left without another word, the flock leaning in, each member taking one of the glasses. There were two left, one for each human.

This time Baker waited for Jaeger to scan them, and the results showed nothing that they couldn't stomach. Jaeger watched as his friend took a sip, the glass tiny in his oversized hands, smacking his lips as he sampled the flavor.

"Tastes kind of like dry wine," he said, "it's bitter."

Jaeger saw no harm in trying some himself, they were allowed two alcoholic beverages per day while stationed on the Rorke, after all. He brought the narrow glass to his lips and sipped at it experimentally. It was chilled, cool on his tongue, and there was indeed a bitter aftertaste to it. There wasn't enough alcohol content to be of any real significance, it probably wasn't much more potent than a beer.

Maza seemed pleased that he was participating, watching him intently with her unblinking eyes as he took another sip from the glass. He was trying to make it last, there wasn't much more than a couple of mouthfuls for a human. Everyone seemed to be relaxing now, letting off steam, the aliens lounging on the cushions as they drank and smoked. Jaeger hadn't imagined them this way, they had seemed downright prudish at times, but now he was seeing them in a more human light. They got depressed sometimes, they got drunk, and they took drugs, they went to seedy bars. Their society wasn't any more perfect than his own, they just did things differently, they had different priorities.

"So this is how you like to relax?" Jaeger asked, looking pointedly around the dingy lounge.

"When we need to do a whole lot of relaxing in a short amount of time, yes," Maza replied with a chuckle. "Don't Earth'nay have anything similar?"

"We do, that's what I find so surprising. I can travel sixty-five light-years from home and still find people getting drunk in a bar."

She laughed at that, taking another drink from her glass.

"Maybe integrating into the Galactic community won't be so difficult for us after all..."

"All living things function on the same biological reward system," Xico said, coughing a little as she exhaled a plume of smoke. "We all have dopamine receptors in our brains, or something similar, chemicals that incentivize us to pursue certain behaviors. Any sufficiently advanced species that develops a knowledge of chemistry, or even one that stumbles across a substance that has the same effect, will inevitably find a way to hack that system and obtain the rewards without the associated behaviors."

"That certainly seems to be the case," Jaeger said, shifting his weight as he tried to get comfortable on the cushions. "The Borealans developed a drink called raises the hair, humans have all kinds of alcoholic beverages and other substances. I'm not sure about the Krell, they probably have some kind of hallucinogenic plant or something like that."

"Tell me more about the Krell'nay," Ayau said, leaning across the table excitedly. "What's their home planet like?"

"It's mostly mud flats and swamps, they're semi-aquatic, so they're as at home in the water as they are on land. I've seen pictures of their planet, their villages are made from wood, built around ancient trees and supported by stilts that raise them above the ground."

"They sound primitive, yet they are spacefaring?"

"Not exactly, they have a special relationship with another species called the Brokers, who ferry them to and from the planet. Why are you so interested in the Krell anyway, Ayau? I remember you kept climbing on their shoulders back on the Rorke."

She took another draw from the pipe, her feathers fluttering a calming shade of spearmint.

"Can't you tell? They're monstrously large, muscular, snouts longer than anything I've ever seen. They're like the ultimate females, like a war Goddess from ancient Val'ba'ra'nay legend."

"They're all male," Baker added, her feathers fluttering in shades of surprised yellow.

"R-really!?"

"Yep, every Krell that serves as an auxiliary in the UNN is male, except when they change their sex. When there are too many males packed into one place, some of 'em start to change gender. They have to take a special plant supplement from their homeworld to stop it, or they'll start breedin' endlessly."