Birthday Present, The

"Stebbins, we need those algorithms finished," my boss said on my speaker.

"Yes, sir, I'm working on them now," I told him.

"Working on them isn't good enough. If they're not done by five, your fired."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, Mr. Beard," I told him, and turned my attention back to the computer. It was 4:30 already, and I wasn't even half-way done with the algorithms. I mean, these algorithms are for the entire company, and the other five people who normally help me with them were hospitalized in an accident that their car pool was in, leaving me to do the whole damn thing by the hard-coded deadline!

And what's worse, it was my birthday! Trust me, there's nothing worse than loosing your job for a stupid reason on your birthday! Of course, I'm used to it. My kids didn't even know when my birthday was until they needed it for the FAFSA (they're both away in college). Then again, maybe people are better off not knowing that I'm 45 years old today. God, I miss being young.

My wife, however. Now THERE is the woman that old age forgot about! I'm serious, at 43 years of age, she is still a dead ringer for the 18 year old I fell in love with. She was kind, modest, and absolutely gorgeous! As an Asian, she could hold her own in a beauty contest against Gail Kim, the wrestler, and she's FOURTY FUCKING THREE YEARS OLD! Oh, and no, I'm not just looking past her ugliness because I'm in love with her, no. My best friends, Will and Steve, tell me that if I ever divorce her, they'd bone her before I even finished the sentence. The only thing wrong with her, they say, is her random mood swings. They only last a few minutes, and she's always sorry afterwards for being so irrational, but they're scary when they do happen.

"Stebbins, it's five o'clock. We need those algorithms!"

I pressed the button and told him, "Mr. Beard, I haven't moved from this chair in seventy-two hours except to pee. I can't even remember if the highest selling tie was Lavender's Black or Black's Lavender! If I could just rest-"

"Fine, go home and get some rest, but don't come back."

I took fifteen minutes to get my things out of my desk and walked for what seemed like an eternity to my car. God, why couldn't I have car pooled? At least then, I'd have an EXCUSE for not getting these algorithms done! I mean, you can't fire someone for work they didn't do while taking out workers' comp! It's just not fair!

How would I tell Jing (my wife)? I decided to use my last paycheck to buy her some chocolates and roses. I went down to the Valentine's Store. After browsing for about ten minutes, Steve, one of my best buddies, who works in Human Resources over at a video game store, found me looking at roses.

"Hey, David, your car has all your office stuff in it. Did you get canned?"

"Yeah. That's why I'm here. I'm trying to butter up Jing before I break the new-"

"Dude, put that shit down! One of our algorithm guys just stormed out earlier today! I need to fill that position ASAP!"

I was astonished. "You don't mean-"

"Well, you'll have to apply and I'll have to interview you and all. You know, just to make it all LOOK legit, but hey," he reached into his manila office folder, "here's the questions, aaaaand" he reached back into his folder, "here's the answers!" He whispered "between you and me, okay?"

I smiled from ear to ear! Now, I could go home and tell Jing I got fired and not have to sweat bullets about it!

So, I drove home to our house and opened the door, but the little sliding lock on the inside was in place. Oh god, is she having another one of her mood swings? Looks like I won't be able to tell her about my new job yet.

"Honey, what did I do this time," I asked her in a voice with faked sincerity?

She undid the lock and stuck her hand out with a blindfold. "Put this on. I've got a surprise for you!"

Oh, goodie! She had a surprise waiting for me! She remembered my birthday, AND the fact that it was the deadline for the company's algorithms! We normally just go out to a steak house to celebrate that!

I put the blindfold on and, when I told her that I was wearing it, I heard the door open. She took my hand and led me over to our bedroom (it's only one story, so I didn't have to climb any stairs). I could smell that she had lit some scented candles. Wow, what surprise did she have in store?!

"Honey, what's going on?" She put her finger on my lips.

"Don't speak," she said in a soft, seductive whisper, "I've been practicing this on a mannequin for the past three days. I hope you enjoy it."

I extended my grin, and she took off my pants and boxers, exposing my already erect cock. She then removed my tie and unbuttoned my shirt, and slid off my shirt and jacket. I was now completely naked, except for the blindfold.

"I'm going to take the blindfold off, so keep your eyes closed until I tell you to open them, okay, honey?"

I gave an excited nod, and she slid off my blindfold. Adhering to my promise, I kept my eyelids clenched together, although I wanted to see what she had in store.

She then cuffed my hands behind my back, but I could tell that there was something else behind me that she had tied the cuffs to. Apparently, whatever she was going to do to me, she didn't want me to move from this spot.

I then could hear a stereo playing, only it was playing silence. Suddenly, her voice appeared on the stereo "Go ahead and open your eyes!" I did so and saw my wife standing there, in a full Japanese school uniform (kind of like how our daughter, Mei, used to watch on Sailor Moon). She had an indigo handkerchief around her neck, twist-tied at the bottom, a white blouse that fit nicely around her size DD boobs, and an indigo miniskirt that was so short that I could see the tip of her buttocks, and she was standing away from me, with her head cocked back to see me. Suddenly, the music started playing.

"Let the BODies hit the FLOOR! Let the BODies hit the FLOOR! Let the BODies hit the-" every time they emphasized a syllable, Jing jumped back, coming one step closer to me, and bending over just a little bit more than the last time, until her buttocks was just one inch from the tip of my dick. As the stereo did one of those sticks-banging-together sounds four times, she shook her toosh back and forth to the beat of that sound, and the tip of her buns brushed against that little hole that my semen and pee comes out of.

"-FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!" She took off the miniskirt from the front (it must have been velcro) jumped around, and started to slowly and seductively shake her hips. I noticed that she was, indeed, wearing panties, but they were so silky and clear that they didn't cover a damn thing! I could only tell she was wearing them the same way I can tell that the kitchen sink is full of water. I noticed she had shaven her pussy and even got a bikini wax! I wonder if it was just for this occasion! I could see her pussy lips in all their glory, and they were throbbing like my cock was! My god, she was enjoying this as much as I was!

As the stereo starting playing "One: Nothing wrong with me," she put her hands behind her head and started thrusting her hips forward as they sang the numbers, and slowly backed her hips away as they said "Nothing wrong with me." The four times they did that, she thrusted her hips in four different directions, and the fourth them they said "nothing wrong with me," she reached for the middle of her blouse, and as they screamed "NOOOOOOO," she ripped it open (the blouse was also velcro) and started swinging it overhead. Now, aside from her hankerchief, panties, and bra (which was just as easy to see through as her panties were), she was completely naked! I could see her boobs, perked up by what would seem like nothing if you didn't notice her near-invisible bra (trust me, it's really cool if a woman's boobs are being held up without any visible means of support).

As the stereo started singing the chorus, "LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOOOOOOR!" She took the twisted-up blouse and started seductively rubbing it between her legs like a bath towel, and as they were screaming "Floooooooooor," she draped it over the back of my neck like a towel at the gym (I could feel her fresh pussy juices soaked into the blouse), while looking in my eyes with a stare of "yeah, you want this? You want this, bitch? Come get this, you fucking womanizing piece of shit!" The only problem was, she he me handcuffed to the wall! I COULDN'T go get me some!

As the song continued, she took the twist-tied end of her hankerchief and put it near my mouth. Taking the hint, I bit onto the end of it, and as she kneeled down so that her mouth was near my cock (that was getting sore from the killer erection), the knot (which was, apparently, a granny knot) came undone. Her mouth was now a single centimeter from the tip of my prick, and she flicked it with the tip of her nose. I couldn't take it any more, and I had premature ejactulation. I was worried, but apparently, that's what she was going for the whole time, because she backed up and allowed my semen to fall onto her entire body. I was a monster cummer -- I've filled half gallong milk jugs by jacking off before -- so every part of her body from the nose down was covered in my special Alfredo sauce!

Turning around to show me her ass, which you could literally bounce a quarter off of (I've done it before), she bent over a full ninety degrees, grabbed the strings of her thong, and straightened her back, and bent her legs, so that her watery thong was at knee level. She then fell on her ass (I think she bounced up a little) and took her panties completely off (by the way, everything she's doing, past, present, and future, is perfectly in sync with the song) and put them on her head like a seven-year-old dork wearing his underwear on his head to try and get laughs. By this time, my erection had come back full force!

She then proceeded to rip her bra open at the front (another velcro-based article of clothing), rubbed it on her pussy, and draped it around HER neck like a towel! Holy shit, this babe knew EXACTLY what she was doing!

With her pussy and boobs now clean of sperm, she proceeded to rub her boobs together, smearing the semen and getting some on her hands before she moved her right slowly toward her belly, and gave me a very stern, but seductive look. "You want me to go lower? Huh? HUH?! Show me how much you want it, before I fucking divorce you, you spineless pig!" I was so speechless at how sexy she was in her homemade wedding dress that all I could do was hyperventilate and nod.

She started with her right hand rubbing against her clit. She soon moved her left hand there (or was it her left hand to begin with? I don't remember) and began fingering herself with the index and middle fingers of one of her hands, rubbing her clit with the middle and index fingers of the other, and sticking her thumb up her own asshole! This asshole was an inch away from my dick, and she was lookup up at me with a look in her eyes that told me "Bitch, if you don't serve me some of that babymaking country gravy, I'll castrate you with a kitchen knife!"

As the song went through it's final playing of the chorus, she removed her hands from her hip section, but oh no, she wasn't done! Not so long as there was one more chorus to play! She took her freshly-opened asshole and shoved it around my johnson, and started ass-fucking ME! She reached around, underneath her legs, and started to fondle my balls. I could feel those balls starting to contract, and I shot a load so big that it could feed the homeless for a year so far into my wife's rectum, that I'm pretty sure some of it got into her large intestines! She came at the same time I did, with her fruit juices falling on the floor right before my feet, making a puddle the size of commercial spill.

As the song stopped playing, she reached around my back and opened my handcuffs. "Happy birthday, hubby!"

"Babydoll," I said in an exhausted voice, "you have no idea how much I needed that! Oh, and since we're in such a good mood, I've got something I need to tell you!"

She kissed my lips and motioned her head for the shower. "What's that?"

"I'm unemployed!"

Her smile turned upside down in a heartbeat. "WHAT?!"

"But it's okay," I said, "Steve's promised me a job over at Games-A-Lot! It'll just take a couple of days for me to go through the application process!"

Jing breathed a sigh of relief, and said, "Hey, what's that site you go to to read sexy stories?"

"Literotica," I said, wondering where she was going with this.

"Write a story about tonight, and put it on that site for me, will ya?"

THE END!