Bisexual Journey Ch. 05

Barry laughed a deep happy roll of amusement. "Oh no. Haven't you looked down on the face of woman you fucked, and saw her face all twisted like she was being 'tortured'? And you knew she was totally wracked with the pleasure you were giving her?"

I thought about that. "I see what you mean," I conceded.

"Penetration hurts, there's no getting around that. But it is brief, and quickly replaced with pleasure. Trust me on that. And of course the first time hurts most, because you don't know what to expect. The next time will hurt some, but not nearly as much. Penetration pain is just a part of it. All the men I've fucked actually anticipated that initial pain as paying a due for the delirious pleasure to follow."

"All the men you've fucked... I thought you said I am your first man sex in eight years."

"You are. Believe me. Trust me. What I am telling about myself happened in high school and college. When I went to college I left my high school fuck buddy behind and was all into girls. There was pussy everywhere. Easy to be had. And fucking boy ass had really taught me some skills and expertise, especially the ability to fuck a long time without cuming. So I was quite the stud. But... There was boy ass all over the place too. I had built in radar for them, and they were easy to spot. Now and then a guy would turn me on and I wanted to fuck him more than a girl. The unique excitement and knowing how good it felt just wouldn't go away. That Superman feeling. Being top gun. I was highly selective, and my flings were widely spaced apart, but I loved fucking boys and men, and I did. It was an option, not an obsession, and what a thrilling option it was when I wanted."

"The table never turned? You the fuckee instead of the fucker?"

"Once. I had to know and gave my ass to a guy, once. He was special. He was the only guy I sort of fell in love with. Nothing like falling in love with a woman, but my feelings for him were deep and tender. He wanted to top me just to experience it. I said okay."

"Ah haaaa! Did you like it?"

"Yes and no. It was an extremely valuable experience for me. Just to know what a guy felt when I fucked him. Knowing the penetration pain, and pain of complete entry too. Knowing the pain was brief and quickly forgotten. The feeling of being filled up with cock. And the strange, mysterious zaps of pleasure deep inside. He couldn't hold back and it didn't last long, but I learned what it meant to be a bottom. I was glad I did. I knew how important it was to last a long time inside a guy, for his complete enjoyment. And I mastered that, holding back a long time to fuck him out of his mind. Actually, I did like it. Some. The snag was psychological. I was not mentally wired to be fucked by a man. I was wired to love fucking him. Nature."

"Jesus, Barry. You are fucking with my mind."

His smile was a leer of certainty. "You might be wired for it. You might like it. A lot. I'm sure you will."

"And I might not." I changed tack. "Let's close some gaps here. When I met you, you were all straight. Outside, anyway. How is it you haven't fucked a man in eight years?"

"I fell in love with Betty. It was my first falling in love ever. That great, earth moving, completely gone falling in love. I thought I had loved other women. Not even close. Betty was my plunge into the infinity of love. I worshiped and adored her. Sex with a man was no longer even conceivable. I was very cautious in fucking men, condoms, with one or two exceptions, so I was clean. But I did some secret blood work anyway to confirm my clean bill of health. And gave up men forever. I married Betty the summer after college graduation. Straight arrow all the way. For eight years. Then I saw you. And fell apart. I mean that. The most beautiful, sexy, erotic, alluring, desirable man ass I had ever looked at was yours, and all my years of suppression vaporized. I wanted to fuck a man again. You. You, you, you. Can you understand that now?"

"Well, in a way. The same thing happened to me after a three year hiatus. Except I wanted to kiss a boy, and suck his cock. I know bi-sex desire can suddenly spring up and wallop a man from the blind side. I certainly know that. After six years it happened again, just two weeks ago, when I saw the outline of your cock close to my hands on the weight bar." I looked into his eyes, and looked him over, my man, my big powerful man. He was beautiful. He was most desirable. "I have to admit I am flattered you want to take me that way, but... This is too sudden and new. I don't even know what to think about it. What I should think."

"But... Doesn't your confusion have a touch of wonder and electric excitement also?"

"You are a witch," I laughed. I changed tack again. "I take it Betty has no idea of your bi side."

"God no. Never. It would destroy her, us." His face grew somber, almost painful. "You ask if I ever felt guilty about being a queer, and I honestly told you I never did. Or very little. But cheating on Betty did rip me apart. I have jerked off fantasying you and your marvelous ass and shot cum four feet high. And then felt guilty for betraying Betty, even in fantasy. But I am what I am. I can't change what I am. I have to be Jeckel and Hyde. To be me."

"And I would rather die myself than do anything to hurt Betty."

"We will make certain that never happens. We will shut ourselves off from the other world and be lovers. Just as tonight. Just as we need and want and must do. There is no other way."

He took my spongy cock in his hand and gently squeezed it to rampant glory. He gazed at it with awe. "So damn big," he whispered. "Such perfect beauty." He kissed it, almost reverently. He licked it. He opened his mouth wide and engulfed the shiny head. He sucked me, wetly, sweetly. He lifted his head and looked far off at nowhere. "My first taste of cock in over eight years," he said in wonder, in a momentary daze. He dipped his head and sucked more, home at last.

Internally wired to fuck men he was, but he had no psychological barrier to sucking cock. He went down on me further than any male or female had before. He was good, damn good, but something more than skilled. He moved his finger to the crease of my ass and probed, rubbed, teased. A brand new feeling zapped the spot. I liked the feeling. He seemed to know I did. He raised his head to spit on the feisty finger and when his mouth claimed my cock again his wet finger pushed in at the same time. No object had ever entered my ass before. It didn't hurt, but I was keenly aware of the intrusion, the finger sliding in to the knuckle, then curling and wiggling around in my ass. So utterly strange and strangely exciting. So much was happening at once. The intense pleasure surging in my cock, enhanced by his busy finger contacting with nerves I didn't even know I had... I bellowed and was swept away in orgasm. I might have even fainted.

"Oh fuck me blind," I said, when I could speak at all. "That was powerful. Very powerful. That was a biggie. A blast of pure white blinding light. Oh man did I cum hard!" The orgasm had lifted me so high I broke into a spacey, mindless giggle of wonder as I swirled and floated back to earth.

Barry kneeled between my legs, grinning and smacking after taste of my cum he had swallowed, studying me intently. "Happy to oblige," he said.

"Kiss me," I said.

He covered me with his broad hairy weight, and kissed my lips, suckled them, licked them, made love to them. "Did my finger feel good?" He whispered.

"Yes, it did," I whispered back. "First finger there. First anything ever there. A nice surprise, and...addition."

"Just a hint of the pleasure you will know when my cock is in you."

"When. The operative word. I simply don't know, Barry. I will think about it. At this point, that's all I can say. I will think about it."

"At this point that is all I ask. Think about it. Seriously. My sweetheart, my darling." And he kissed me again. Seriously.