Bisexual Journey Ch. 06bydiagones©
The clear, blatant fact that another man wants to push his hard cock into your ass has a way of seizing a man's thoughts. I certainly didn't want to fuck him, or any man. A psychological barrier on my end of the stick, apparently. When it came to fucking, my cock pointed straight to women. But... A man fucking me? Ideas of what it would feel like, do to me, came seeping in through numerous holes in what I had always assumed to be well constructed barriers. The biggest hole was his desire to do that to me. A desire so strong he lost all control of his eight year man sex suppression at first sight of my sexy ass. Flattering, yes, I could not deny that. But I had no more awareness of my ass that I did of my elbows, so I did a lot of head twisting to look in the mirror to see what he saw. I couldn't see it. Not his point of view. A view that made his cock hard, his kiss devouring, and his calling me his "darling."
Falling so easily into the role of his darling was the second biggest hole. Those fantasy feelings of soft yielding femaleness in his overpowering arms was totally new to me. Those feelings were strangely pleasing and comforting, but also a little scary. I thought I knew exactly who I was kissing a boy and sucking his cock. I wondered if there were places in me yet to be discovered, that I didn't know at all. Being another man's sweetheart. Surrendering my ass to him to enter, actually wanting it.
Why did countless millions of men want other men to fuck them? Was the mind bending pleasure as transforming as lore and literature claimed?
We were so cool at our next gym session it was almost funny. And not only because Betty and the girls showed up with him. We sweated, grunted, lifted, with him appropriately distant from the weight bar. It was like we had never been on my bed. Except for a single exchange. "Still thinking about it?" He asked, hopeful but nonchalant. I answered with honesty that pleased him. "I'm thinking about it. A lot." - "Good, good," he said with a smile, patting me on my shoulder, like I was an employee reporting a work assignment progress to my boss.
We joined Betty and the girls in the juice bar and my dirty thoughts received an elevating boost. Barry as married man. Husband, father, provider. Happy family. Betty was a large woman, curvaceous, not fat so much as...pneumatic. Firmly controlled spread. Not conventionally beautiful, but charming and pretty. A generous, happy woman. A loving mother. And no doubt well fucked by her husband as often as she needed. That was apparent in her basic happiness. And my swift conclusions of all that did not bring on a black cloud of betrayal of her by what Barry and I had done. Just the opposite. I saw him in a different and brighter light. He was as clean and pure and majestic in his desire to fuck me as he was being loving husband and father. And that night in the juice bar matched my own experience of suddenly desiring Bryan Colter that night in the pub back in college. With the girl I thought I was in love with sitting beside me. I knew exactly what it was like to have that thunderbolt of bi-sexual desire strike with no warning. But Barry and I were mature men. Our making love would not have the same consequences. I felt certain of that.
When I was at home that night, I thought back on my affair with Bryan, and realized something else. I had wanted him desperately, and I seduced him. Now Barry wanted me desperately, and I was the one being seduced. He was shaping my mind, planting seeds to grow there. And I had to face the truth of my mind being fertile soil. The persistent, tingling excitement of being seduced by an irresistible man, the first time ever, was tunneling deeper into my head and sending mysterious but welcomed resonance throughout my body. Me, Jack, a straight man, a well developed muscle toned man, not given to violence but more than capable of fighting if a situation required, proud carrier of bigger than average cock, an accomplished lover and fucker of women... I was being seduced by another man, and it was strangely but deliciously exciting. So strangely exciting and persistent I declined some invitations from a couple of lady friends.
The next week Barry came alone to the gym. He was on a business triumph high. He owned his own real estate company, and had sold a large commercial property to a big gun in the cell phone industry that needed it for a billing factory. Billing only, for those millions of customers and their greater millions of minutes to talk and text. "They will eventually have two hundred employees," he said. "Billing and raking in money." Barry raked in money of his own, a very fat commission. He practically strutted. He glowed. When a moment of absolute privacy occurred, the triumphant real estate tycoon put his hand on my ass cheek and squeezed with authority.
"Still thinking about it?"
"Yes, I am. But we need to talk more."
"I can't stay too long tonight."
As soon as my apartment door closed he gathered me in his arms and kissed me. I dropped my gym bag to the floor and folded into his massive strength and hot body and instantly hard cock. Raised my chin to receive his suckling lips and licking tongue. Felt that soft feminine sensation of yielding to him, but at the same felt my cock grow erect with all male assertion. I hunched my groin to his. He put his hands on my ass to pull me tighter.
"It seems longer than two weeks," I said. "I want your cock in my mouth again. Taste your cum."
"I am your man. You are my darling. You need your man. Oh yes."
He placed his hands on my shoulders and bore down, making clear the proper context of the moment was my kneeling to him, to serve him. And it was so perfectly right, on my knees on my apartment floor, looking up at his towering stature, his smile of expectation mixed with that same flush of triumph by the huge sale closing he made that day. My man. I shivered with desire to serve him, to please him, to drink cum from his balls.
I undid his belt, the waist button, and pulled his pants and boxer shorts down to his ankles. His cock sprang free and thumped my face. That singular smell of masculinity flowed from his groin and went in my nose and had its intoxicating effect. Our position was stripped of all romantic adornment. Me on my knees, fully dressed. Him standing with his pants and underwear at his ankles. He lifted his shirt tails and put his hands on his hips and made a slight bow forward. "Suck my cock," he said.
His words were an order. A new chord in the music of our evolving man sex. A new excitement gripping my chest. A first sinking in to obedience of another man. A first glimpse of submission. I had not known these things with Andy and Bryan. Barry was taking me to new places, other worlds. He ordered me to suck his cock, and that enflamed desire and need in me to obey, to serve him, to please him. I did that. Not as his darling. As a full fledged man making love to another man. Feeling the wondrous edges of submission, but at the same time feeling manly and powerful.
He shot his cum into my mouth and I gulped it down. He held on to my shoulders to keep from tripping over the pants tangled at his ankles. He broke into helpless laughter at his precarious stance, and the joy of cumming in my serving mouth. "Oh my God you are good. So damn good. The best ever... Help me out of these." He kicked his right foot. I untied his laces and slipped off his shoes and socks. He stepped free of his entanglement, holding my shoulders for balance. He took off his shirt and dropped it on the floor. He was breathing heavily, smiling down on me. His tumescence began to decline. A last big cum drop oozed out. I claimed it. He twitched and spasmed in high sensitivity. "I need to lie down," he said.
He walked naked to my bed and plopped on his back on the mattress. Almost like it was his place and his bed and I was the visitor, following where he went. His breathing was still heavy. His smile of satisfaction even heavier. "Get those clothes off," he ordered.
I obeyed. I lay close to him in that familiar state of exhilaration, his cum a puddle in my belly, radiating that sense of pure clean energy through out my system, polishing my mind to bright understanding of the deep satisfaction in sucking him off. An isolated knowledge that only a cock sucker, and no other, can attain. I touched my lips to see if the friction tingle still there would transmit to my finger tip. I didn't have an erection. I was serene, at peace.
Barry lay with his eyes closed, breathing evenly. He said: "You are amazing. Hard to believe you've only had two men. You give me the best blow jobs I've ever had."
"Just obeying your command," I said.
He opened his eyes and rose to his elbow to turn and look into my eyes. "It was something special, wasn't it, obeying my command."
"I confess it was. An altogether new experience for me. I love your cock anyway, but your demand that I suck it, a very strange new thrill. There's a lot about bi-sex I don't know."
"Yes. Oh yes. My cock filling your ass, fucking you to oblivion." He kissed my lips with ineffable softness and tenderness. "You are my sweetheart, you know. You do know that, now."
"I still can't imagine it, Barry. So many unknowns. I don't really believe I have the nerve. What if I like it, and like it too much? What if I feel only revulsion and revolt and fight you off?"
"Those questions can be answered only one way. Doing it, having the experience, knowing once and for all. You might very well revolt and fight me off. You might also know that sweet surrender to my cock in your ass, and feel those delirious pleasures that cannot be imagined."
"I can imagine this - the stinky and messy."
He laughed with superior knowledge. "There are ways around that. Preliminary hygiene is par for the course, and a necessity. There are practical matters involved when a man fucks a man. Unlike fucking a woman. No matter the desire and passion is just as great, or even greater. A douche or enema before hand, lots of lube. Practical matters before that lift off to paradise. When I fuck you I might pull out a speck or two, but so what?"
"Enema. God. I can't even imagine THAT!"
"Try too. That time comes when you are ready to know. To give me your virgin ass. You do the hygiene ritual in complicity with my desire to fuck you. Because you want me to fuck you. There is nothing romantic about an enema, but it will be explicitly and deliberately erotic and sexual, making your chamber squeaky clean to receive my cock. You have given in and you want to experience it. Just as much as I do. And God in heaven I do want to fuck you, so very much, my beautiful man, my sweetheart. And you are very close to giving in. Admit it."
"Closer. Much closer. I think about it all the time. I'm not there yet."
"We have time. I can wait."
He moved his hand slowly over my body, the fingers making light feathery contact. His eyes tracked his hand movement. His fingers barely brushed my left nipple, a light staccato movement, flicking it. A gentle squeeze and pull, more brushing and teasing.
"That feels damn good," I said. My tone of compete surprise was ringing to both our ears.
"You didn't know?"
"No one has ever done that to me. Keep doing it."
He put each of his hands to each of my nipples and performed his magic, and I lay in utter amazement at the feelings that washed me. A pleasure unlike any other I had ever known. So delicate and soft and warm and sweet, so sexual and so erotic. I purred and squirmed and pressed my chest up for firmer contact with his fingers. Never had I felt anything like that. Not with any man, nor any woman. He pinched and soothed, alternately, teasing and tickling, a hard painful pinch that sent an electric current straight to my cock head. Then soothing the pain with feathery finger brushes. My God it felt good! I writhed and purred and moaned.
Barry starred into my eyes with a deep intensity that contained boundless delight. "There is so much I will teach you," he promised. He bent down and put his mouth on my nipple. Hot, wet, man mouth sucking it in, tongue teasing, alternately teeth nipping and licking. His fingers busy on the other nipple. The sweet new pleasure, soft and electric, burst and rippled without cease, and I floated on a buoyant sea of identifying with a woman.
"Is this what all my girls felt when I sucked their breasts?" I asked, truly curious and wanting to know.
"It is possible your tits feel every bit as much a girl feels," Barry said. "It all comes down to individual wiring. I don't have it. Obviously you do. You are lucky. Most of the men I fucked in college had it too. Their tits were wired for it. Man flat, but still capable of feeling what a girl feels. You are lucky."
"My tits," I mused. "Until now, I couldn't possibly form any idea of me having tits. Now I discover I not only have tits, but they can feel the same pleasure a girl feels. How is it possible I never knew this? Even by some accidental discovery?"
"Because you were waiting for me to come along. Open you up to marvelous discoveries about yourself, your sexuality. Open up to your man. Become his sweetheart and darling. I am your lover man. I love making love to your tits. Let the pleasure flow. Let your fantasy of feeling like a girl go free."
He sucked and loved my tits more, with certain purpose and dedicated skill, and drew out the female in me that had lain dormant all my life. Because I was wired that way. And because he was a man, with a hot passionate man mouth and a beard stubble that rasped my tender tits. He gave me pleasure that was so gentle and sweet and zippy with electric excitement, all having source in his enormous masculinity compressed in a focused desire to ravish the tits of his darling, and I let go. I became a girl. His girl. The feminine feeling I had when I first tilted my chin up to kiss him was only a hint. His loving my tits flung the door wide open, and I let myself go. I became a girl. I gazed down my chest at this working mouth and fingers, and for an instant flash I hallucinated. My chest formed barely detectable mounds, and after a struggle pushed the mounds to low pyramids and my tits were breasts in a man's mouth. The hallucination lasted only a millisecond, but it seared my brain for evermore.
"Oh my God I love this! I could take my lover man's mouth on my tits all night long."
He raised up and chuckled from deep in his belly. He glanced at the clock on the bed side table. "If only we had all night. I really have to go, my darling. I really do." He got off the bed. "Sorry I have to leave you hanging. "
"No problem. My belly is full of your cum. My newly discovered tits have felt pleasures I didn't know existed. I am very happy."
He hugged me tight with one arm as we walked to the door. He gathered his clothes from the floor and dressed. He embraced my naked body and kissed me. My feminine feeling in lifting my chin up to meet his lips was much stronger, with my tits still tingling. He cupped my ass in his strong hands and squeezed and kneaded and spread the globes wide apart and pressed them back together. "There are other pleasure discoveries, far more powerful, in store for you, my darling. You are wired for them too. We know it. We want it."
"Yes." I said, my voice high and tremulous, girlish. "I'll tell you when."