Bitch Took the Dog!

I figured Leann probably had a few lovers, I even asked Sonya once.

"Naw, she is yours, guys try but they don't get none." She leaned forward and grinned at me, then winked. "That really is all yours, Dan. You should look close and think."

I thought about that for awhile, my mind confused some about everything going on. Leann nearly naked on stage each night, men everywhere.

Mine?

Then one day the phone rang. It was Patty. Until now I had no idea where she was.

"I just wanted you to know I am sending the divorce papers."

First words out of her fucking mouth.

"What about my DOG!" I yelled. "And my fucking money?"

"He's my Dog, and you owed me the fucking money!" she retorted.

"How the FUCK do I owe you anything, we were only married six fucking goddam months!"

"And Zodie is MY fucking Dog you fucking bitch! I raised him from a PUPPY!"

I had completely lost it, tears were welling up in my eyes.

"Sign the papers, Dan, or I will take you for everything you got!"

She slammed the phone down.

Take me for everything....??? I looked around, she already had. My savings were back up to $250, I had my car, my clothes. There was the family ranch but it was in a life estate in my Mother's name. Sure, a pile of money there but no way to touch it.

The papers arrived in a few days, now I had an address. Leann was there, she came out and sat with me at the kitchen table. It had just hit me that Patty had two books of blank checks with BOTH of our names, each check gauranteed for $200.00.

By me.

And she had a guarantee card, with her name on it.

A total of 80 blank checks. I did the math.

Told you my IQ was off 40 points that day.

"I need to take a trip." I told her.

"Patty?"

"Yes, she has my Dog." I also explained the situation with the checks, the account Patty had taken, and her wannabe goon brother.

"Be careful."

I saw the look on Leann's face as I climbed into my car. It could only be described as unsure, hurt? I had told her about Patty. I had told her I was in crazy love, about the sex, all of it.

I even thought that I was maybe still in love with Patty.

The drive was over 700 miles, open freeway through Eastern Oregon, then a corner of Washington into Idaho. I was running right at 80 mph when a BMW slid by, a cute blonde at the wheel. I opened up the throttle, now I had a front door in case a rare cop was waiting. The needle sat on 105 when I finally matched the BMW's pace, I could see the lights up ahead a quarter mile or so.

It was mid-morning when I pulled up in front of her house. The first person I saw was the last one I wanted to see, Patty's tubby fucking brother.

He walked out to the front gate.

"What do you want?"

I had come prepared, the signed papers in my hand.

"Divorce papers, I need to talk to Patty."

He just nodded, glaring. Guess he thought he had me intimidated or something. I managed to keep from just busting his fucking face.

Patty came out, two other men I didn't know right behind her. It seemed like she was expecting me.

She waved them off, they wandered away a few yards. Just then Zodie came dashing out and flew through the air into my arms like always. He rolled over on his back and stuck his tongue out between the fur on his face, excited and wiggling, happy to see me. Finally I sat him down, he curled up tight against my leg, waiting.

I am sure he thought he was going home.

"I signed the papers." I told patty.

"OK."

"I need the check gaurantee card, I can't close that account without turning it in."

"Oh, OK. I forgot about that."

I almost held my breath as she reached in her purse and handed it to me. I saw her expression change as the significance hit her seconds later. Then she just sighed. Patty did know me well enough to know what it would take to get that card back.

"It's over then." she was looking at the paperwork.

I was surprised, she seemed almost sad?

"Yes, except I am taking Zodie."

"No you aren't!" her voice raised.

"Oh yes I am! Bad enough you steal my FUCKING money, CUNT, but you ain't gonna steal my FUCKING Dog!" I was yelling at her now.

I stood up, realizing her brother had stepped back up beside me. He was in the process of throwing a blindside Sunday punch. His mistake was starting it on Saturday.

I tipped my head back as his right hand slid by my jaw. I just reached up with my right hand and grasped his wrist as it went by, then pulled and spun to my right, throwing all my weight into his elbow.

I had no idea a grown man could scream like that. He went down, his elbow snapped. I saw the motion to my right and stepped into a side kick, hitting the 2nd man squarely in the stomach. He folded and dropped with a gush of air.

I looked around quickly for the third one, but he was backing away, palms facing me.

"Hey man, this ain't my fight."

Fucking Karate lessons paid off, it seems.

Then I heard another yell, Zodie had his teeth sunk into Patty's brother's leg.

"Wait!" I said, Zodie let go and came back to my side, completely satisfied with himself. I reached down and patted his head.

I looked at Patty, her eyes were as big as silver dollars, her mouth was wide open but no sounds were coming out. The expression was pure fear.

Angry, I started to reach for her.

Then I heard the sirens in the background, two police cruisers rolled up.

Probably a good thing. I relaxed, just stood there. No point in getting shot.

I never did know for sure but they were there so fast I assumed Patty's grandparents had called, expecting there to be trouble. I glanced over, they both stood on the porch.

The two cops looked over the situation, asked a few questions. I explained that her brother had thrown a Sunday punch at me and I had dealt with that. The other had come at me so I dealt with that, too. One of them walked over to speak with the grandparents and damned if they didn't concede that he had swung first. The other surprise was so did the 3rd guy, glad I guess to have not been involved. The guy on the ground couldn't talk to anyone, he was still trying to breathe.

The cop came back, the situation sized up. They knew what might happen if they tried to take me into custody and weren't real comfortable with what they saw. Patty's brother had me by 50 pounds, so did the other guy. Neither cop seemed real interested in forcing the issue.

Besides, I was standing there completely calm, that had to be unnerving.

"Bud, if you drive straight down this street you will come to a bridge."

I looked at him.

"It's just a mile."

I nodded.

"Cross that bridge and don't come back."

I understood perfectly, that would put me in Washington, out of their jurisdiction.

"What about my Dog?"

"Leave the Dog."

I understood that, too. I walked over, started my car and drove off down the street.

I heard Zodie letting out yips at me leaving.

I knew Patty would take care of Zodie, she loved him too. Still, there was a tear in my eye at the idea.

I thought of being home, sweet Leann tucked right up tight against me, unconditional love. I knew she loved me in the same way Zodie did, just because, not for things.

As soon as I hit the open freeway, I pressed down on the throttle. Within just a few miles, a black BMW sped by, a blonde at the wheel. Perhaps the same one? Perhaps not. No matter, she was hauling ass.

I laughed, picked up the speed to over 100.

I was going home, I knew where I wanted to be, and who I wanted to be with.