Bitter Fingers Ch. 02

Maggie.

Standing there looking down at Gary's battered body, Maggie realised that she could see him ok without a torch. The sun had started to just peak up whilst everything had happened. She stood there naked and feeling an almost overwhelming sense of sadness and dread.

She had lost everything for what amounted to a few seconds of curiosity. That fleeting moment when Gary had put his arm around her shoulders and shepherded her to his car was now the most stupidly insane moment of her life. Even more insane than when she had given him her first proper kiss when she was at school.

In those younger days she had the excuse that she was naïve and inexperienced in life. Going with Gary this time there were no excuses, she was an adult, a grown married woman. A happily married woman at that, why had she put it all at risk for so little. For something so trivial and meaningless with a person she didn't even like.

Gary hadn't been particularly persuasive with his inane chat up lines and his non existent jokes. No she was just stupid, and she knew it.

Her poor loving husband, driven to do what he did. How could such a gentle loving man turn in a second into a raging vengeful angel of death? She wondered why she had never seen it in John before. Why, if he had it in him to be so brutal, why hadn't she noticed even a glimmer of it?

John had been a loving, gentle, kind, caring husband and yet he had handed Gary a systematic beating of such power and rage that he had to have done it before. She suddenly realised just how much she didn't know about her own husband.

What had he done? What had happened to him to turn him into a such a cool calculated killer? And why? Why had he been that angry? Yes she had betrayed him. Yes it was with the person he most hated in his life. And yes she had given Gary all her body without any significant resistance. But to beat a man to death for that were the actions of an angry crazed killer. How could her darling sweet husband turn so quickly into someone she didn't even recognise?

Standing there for those few seconds with so many questions going through her confused mind, she realised that she had to do something. Her tear filled eyes began to clear. In the half light she looked down at Gary's body, and saw his chest rise slightly as he took in a shallow breath.

John

What more was there? What more reason was there to life? He was now a two time killer who had no reason to carry on. Sure the first time wasn't his fault, after a few years he had come to terms with the death of Steve Long at his hands.

Steve Long was a great guy, a loving husband and father and a fine man, a fighting man, a man by every way known, and John had killed him, ended his wonderful life. But Steve knew the dangers and pitfalls of fighting for a living.

Gary was a soft, stupid prick. Not anything even remotely like a man. But did he deserve to die? Did he deserve to be deliberately beaten to death for just being himself? Well the more he sat on his bike outside his farm cottage, the more he thought about it. Yes, Gary deserved to be handed a large portion of revenge. Yes Gary deserved a thorough beating. Yes Gary needed to be stopped from what he had obviously done before.

But, and it was a big but, he didn't deserve to lose his life. John had done what amounted to murder. John had used his most deadly weapons to do something he had meant to do. John had killed Gary, murdered him, ended his life. A sad, pathetic, meaningless pitiful life, yes but a life nonetheless.

John knew that the moment he threw that first punch he had given up his own life too. Steve losing his life had been a tragic accident. One that had changed John, changed his outlook, made him give up fighting and the ring. It had made him come back to find Margaret and start a new chapter of his then empty life.

John had not sworn to never fight again, he had not promised himself never to throw his fists again in anger, he had not even rued the day that his father had gone against his mother's wishes and passed on his fighting skills to John. He had simply given up boxing, retired undefeated, a world champion. John had simply decided not to use his fists to make a living, just like his father had.

John kicked started the bike and rode off as the sun rose over the horizon and he suddenly knew where he had to go and who he had to find.

Maggie.

"GARY" she shouted.

"GARY, oh god Gary, you're alive!"

Maggie watched intently, not even stopping to think about her own nakedness and exposure. Maggie stood for what seemed like hours, but only amounted to a few seconds, watching Gary's weak chest for movement. The moment she saw it rise she turned and started walking down the gravel path to home.

Walking as fast as she could, now that she could see where she was going, even though the sharp gravel cut into her already raw feet, Maggie determined to get back to the cottage as soon as she could. She would get help for Gary as soon as she got there and she would then deal with John.

The mere fact that Gary was alive meant that her John was no longer a murderer, in fact he never had been. As soon as she got back to the cottage she remembered they had left the back door unlocked and almost ran into the quiet kitchen.

"John, John, I know you don't want me here, but it's Gary he's..." She shouted out.

She went through each room looking for her husband, calling his name as she went.

"John, John, JOHN.. Where are you..?"

Suddenly she realised that her husband wasn't there and had quite probably not come home at all. She quickly picked up the phone and dialled the emergency services.

John

As he rode John's mind went through all that had happened to him. Starting at school and how he should have stayed at Soton school and confronted Gary for what he had done. If he'd punched Gary's lights out then he wouldn't be in this mess now. He should have confronted Margaret too, if he'd done so then he would have been able to get Gary out of her head from the start.

He remembered that it was his Dad's idea that he leave her alone and did not let her distract him from what he had to learn. John remembered the old boxing term "women weaken legs" but in his case his woman had weakened everything, legs, heart, brain and soul. The only thing she hadn't weakened was his big right hand.

John thought of his mother, how she had suffered illness for years and how much he loved and missed her already. John's eyes began to fill with tears, his heart ached more than ever, for the loss of his loving mother, his marriage, and quite possibly his freedom.

Holding the handle bars with his bandaged hands only served to remind him what he'd done. He remembered how his mother had made his father retire from the ring and to not let John become a professional fighter. John's dad had partly gone against her wishes and taught him to box, but he had left the decision to fight professionally up to him.

John hadn't wanted to go against his mother's wishes but he was a good fighter and never expected to ever get really hurt in the ring, no fighter does. How close to being wrong he had been when his opponent had died at his hands. The feelings he had when that happened had brought to life his mother's concerns and had been at least part of the reason he had quit the ring. The other reason being the obvious guilt and regret at Steve Long's death, that he felt a responsibility for.

On he rode going over his life, thinking now of Margaret. How he had loved her with all his heart and had not had any concerns about Gary seducing her because he thought she could handle him. Gary saying that time that if he took a girl down to the bottom of the track it would be difficult for her to get away was a reference to the fact it was a long track out of town and would mean she would have to walk a long way back home.

He realised that Gary didn't know the track was on his land and his cottage was just up the lane that lead to the track anyway. Before John had beaten Gary he knew nothing about the drug that Gary palmed into Margaret's drink as Gary had been very careful to only give her enough to just lower her inhibitions and by the time John had got there the drug had begun to wear off anyway.

In his mind John thought that Margaret had gone with Gary totally under her own volition and had willingly given him her ass, something she had never given him. How could she? How could she have betrayed him so badly? Thinking about it as he rode made him start to lose his temper again and he banged his fist on the handle bars, crying out in anger.

And Roy! His best friend, how could he have left her? It was the one thing he had asked of him. Roy knew that Gary had designs on trying to seduce Margaret. How could he have left her vulnerable to what John had asked him to watch out for. He couldn't blame Jo she hadn't known anything about Gary. It wasn't until Margaret had given him her first tentative explanation that she had told him about being drugged.

If John saw Roy again he would let him have a taste of his right hand to show him he shouldn't betray his mates. No he wouldn't, he would never punch anyone in anger again! Not now, even if he spent time in prison he would talk his way out of a fight rather than hurt anyone again.

But what if someone hit him first? Would he have the self control to turn the other cheek? He doubted it. He was a natural fighter, a born scrapper, born of a father who was exactly the same. Of course he would fight... Fight? If he could fight with his fists still after all that had happened why couldn't he fight for his marriage? She had betrayed him that's why! But he loved her so much.

But she couldn't love him to do what she did. Once a cheater always a cheater. His trust in Margaret had been severely damaged if not totally destroyed. Trust went hand in hand with love so if he still loved her surely he could learn to trust her again?

The conflict going on in his mind only served to confuse him more.

Maggie

"Do you know how he got to be in the ditch naked and beaten half to death Mrs Lock?" The police detective asked.

"No I just found him." Maggie lied.

What were you doing at the bottom of a track in the middle of the night? He asked.

"I was... Looking for our cat," she quickly thought up.

"Your cat? Did you find it?" He asked looking around.

"No it's still missing"

All Maggie thought about was giving John time to get back and they could match their stories.

"Where's your husband Mrs Lock?"

"He's away at the moment.. He has a gig in another town and has stayed over." She replied.

"Oh I see. Ok well I've taken enough of your time Mrs Lock, I'll be in touch."

"Thank you detective I'll look forward to it," she said walking him slowly to the door.

The detective had questioned Margaret for nearly an hour and asked her quite a few questions in that time. Although she had answered them all with only a few slight hesitations he thought she wasn't exactly telling the complete truth. She had said she had just been looking for her cat but there was no sign that a cat lived in the house, no food bowls, litter tray or toys and things a cat might use.

She had said she cut her hands and knees when she fell over on the gravel but her injuries looked a bit more serious than that. He had the feeling she was hiding something about her husband. The detective was a boxing fan and knew John Lock and what he was capable of, there was more to this case!

Maggie thought she had answered the police detective's questions as best she could without lifting his suspicions. She had to cover for John until he got back.

The police had come to her cottage after she had called in to the emergency services for an ambulance to see to Gary. The paramedics had taken Gary to hospital and being an experienced nurse she was fairly confident he had a good chance of surviving. If he was still breathing after all John had done to him then he had a pretty good chance now he was getting professional help.

But where was John? She hoped and prayed he wouldn't disappear like he had in the past.

Maggie had to explain everything properly to John so that he understood. She had to tell him about the way Gary had given her a small dose of something, enough to stop her objecting and enough to stop her protesting about him calling her "Mags" and going with him willingly. At the time she knew she shouldn't go but she was in such a good mood and the drug must have started to work on her defences.

Gary was wrong, very very wrong but he didn't deserve to die. John was wrong in handing him such a beating but he didn't try to kill him and didn't deserve to be a convicted murderer.

Things will straighten out, when Gary recovers she will persuade him that if he reports John for assault she would report him for rape. She understood that she hadn't reported him straight away and had not been examined with a rape kit but she would tell him that she worked in the right place to get evidence against him and she would make sure he believed her.

Maggie sat in the cottage alone with her thoughts, longing to turn back time to before the barbecue party. She was a happily married wife of a wonderful guy who she loved and who loved her. Now she was a lonely adulteress whose husband had probably left her.

John.

Getting off his bike John kicked down the prop stand and hung his helmet. Walking up to the front door John had the greatest job to knock the door without breaking down in tears.

Chris Pollard answered his door and seeing John, held out both his arms to hug his friend.

"John, my friend, its so good to see you, why are you here? Why have you left it so long?" Chris beamed.

"I.. I.. I just had to see you. I've done something bad." John spluttered as he sniffed back the tears.

"Come in, come in my friend I'll put the kettle on, or would you rather have a cold one fresh from the fridge?"

"If I start on the beer I may never stop."

John and Chris sat and drank coffee as John related his whole story from his wedding on as that was the last time the friends had seen each other.

Chris understood John's problem and thought about it for a while. John could stay with him for a while, whilst they decided what to do.

First of all we have to talk to Maggie. She can at least tell us what Gary's situation is.

"We don't have to tell her everything but we have to find out what's happening at home." Chris stated.

"I won't talk to her, you can if you need to,"

"John you must know your hands are deadly weapons! Ones that have killed before! What made you use them like that again?"

"I wasn't thinking! That's just it, I was in another time and space, zoned out. I was so angry and raging that all I could think of was giving him back all the pain he had caused me over the years."

"Do you know for definite that Gary is dead? Do you know if the police are involved? Do you think you should speak to the Police? These are questions you need answering." Chris said speaking precisely.

"Ok but you can talk to her. Ask her your questions but I won't talk to the bitch," John ordered, "Sir."

Chris smiled "Ok my friend, and don't call me sir, I stopped warranting that some time ago."

John's turn to smile. Two hours later they were sitting together drinking cold bitter, playing guitar and singing Simon and Garfunkel's song The Boxer.

Maggie.

Suddenly the phone rang and Maggie jumped to answer it.

"Hello"

"Hi Maggie. How are you?"

"I'm ok. Is that Chris?"

"Yeh. How'd you know?"

"Ha, I'd know your Cornish accent anywhere. Is John with you?"

The line went quiet for a few seconds.

"Sorry Maggie, yes he is, and he's told me everything."

"Oh... So I guess he hasn't told you that I love him with all my heart and soul and always will?" She groaned.

"He knows that, what he needs to know are the answers to a couple of questions."

"If he wants answers he'll have to ask me himself." She replied.

"Sorry Maggie no can do at the mo, but I'm gonna ask you them anyway."

"If I give John answers to the questions that I know he has he won't come back, he'll leave me forever and I'll never see him again. My only chance of talking to him and telling him how sorry I am for hurting him and how it's not all what he thinks, is if he comes home."

"Is Gary dead?" Chris asked.

No answer.

Is John wanted by the police?"

No answer.

"Ok Maggie, you had your chance, I was going to persuade John to come and see you before he left, if you had answered those two questions but I guess he will have no reason to now. If you hadn't kept things from him again it would have shown him that you had faith in him. Now he can leave without seeing you again anyway." Chris stated as a matter of fact.

"No."

"What?"

"No"

"Oh I guess you mean no he won't have a reason?" Chris replied.

"No Gary is not dead and no at the moment John is not wanted by the police unless Gary dies and then he will be wanted for murder I guess," Maggie stated, "does that give you your answers? And does that prove that I will not keep anything from John ever again?"

"Ok Maggie, I'll tell him, and I'll be back in touch."

Maggie started to cry as she heard the phone go down.

John.

John thanked Chris, silently mouthing the words as he put the phone receiver down.

"Ok so now we know that, at the moment, you're not a murderer, so you have a bit of time to decide what you are going to do." Said Chris.

"Well if I can I'd like to spend all my deciding, here with you."

"Whatever you decide about your future is dependant on what happens to Gary and I think you have to, whether you like it or not, talk to Maggie." Chris said with his old air of authority.

"May be but I don't want anything to do with her at the moment." Said John sitting down and resting his chin in his hands.

"You know in some ways you're a very lucky guy,"

"How so?" Asked John.

"Speaking to her, that woman obviously loves you very much even after all this shit you've been through and are still going through. That makes you a lucky man, even if you can't see it with your clouded judgement right now." Stated Chris, sitting down next to John and putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Well I definitely don't feel lucky and sure have to make some hard decisions." John moaned.

"Well only you can make them and all I can do is give you my opinion."

"I'm sorry," John groaned.

"Sorry about what?"

"Sorry about bringing all this to your door, sorry about everything."

"I feel a song coming on." Laughed Chris and he picked up his acoustic and strummed.

He started to sing, "What I got to do to make you love me?"

John laughed out loud and picked up the other guitar and joined in.

"What I got to do to make you care?"

John felt that whatever the feelings or whatever the situation Elton John had a tune and Bernie Taupin had a lyric for it.

Maggie.

The next month went slowly and Maggie had been to see Gary in hospital twice. She still had yet to talk to him and had felt lucky that although he was recovering he hadn't been conscious both times she had seen him.

She hadn't spoken to John or even Chris again and she was beginning to think she never would. She had found Chris's number and had picked up the receiver a couple of times but put it down without dialling. She desperately wanted to just hear John's voice but didn't want to pressurise him into anything he didn't want to do.

That afternoon she walked into Gary's ward. Providing that he was awake, she expected him to be may be a little remorseful. How wrong could she be?

"Well if it isn't my lovely girlfriend!" Was the first line out of the total dickwad's mouth.

"Hasn't the beating of a lifetime even knocked one ounce of the misplaced bravado out of your stupid, senseless head?" Maggie spat.