Blog and He Will Come

Dani knew what she wanted for her 27^th birthday. It was so easy yet for some reason, she had managed to spend her whole life without it. She wanted sex, plain and simple.

So often she had been scared of her own sexuality. She eluded advances from men and managed to form bonds of friendship rather than the deeper emotional kind she so wished to have.

The blog she created gave her a sense of anonymity. This woman she was portraying was the one she wanted to be so desperately. She wanted to be able to speak these words out loud. Yet she had to be content to let the world read it. She continued to type the words on her laptop, letting them sink in.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a sex-crazed pervert who just wants a one-time fuck for the thrill of it. The problem is that I'm the exact opposite. You've heard of it before: the 40-year-old virgin who has a hard time of meeting girls, sucks at socializing and hasn't been on a date in years. That's me, except I'm not a 40-something dude.

It's probably not that I'm ugly either. I've had some male advances in the past. A few, but still they existed. Just not by individuals that I was attracted to. So that's the main issue, I guess. I've never been thoroughly attracted to any man that I wanted to give my virginity to.

I've had several crushes (juvenile as it may sound, that is the most probable word I could use for the many unsettling feelings I have had in the past). And I could now point out the type of guy I was potentially going to have sex with in the near future. I just never met one that was also attracted to me.

Okay, that's not the whole truth. I did meet a guy like that before in college. But it's been 7 years and I'm still in the exact same frame of mind when I think about how he looked at me as I said that I had to go the last time we met. I've never seen him since. I'd do everything just to get back that moment and stay with him.

But that's the past. And there hasn't been anyone like him for all these years. And I don't want to say this but, I need to settle. I mean, I don't want to get married yet. I just want that tingly feeling at the pit of my stomach again. And I want to know how it feels to have a guy kiss me and rub my skin and do other things to other parts of my body.

I wanted that for myself. And even though I've managed to find ways to be successful in life, there's just that one thing that I can't buy: a guy who'll make love to me.

So here I am, a month away from my birthday, looking for THAT guy. It's going to be the most difficult thesis yet. And I'm going to require a bit more creativity in my approach. But if there's one thing I'm good at: it's a challenge.

Wish me luck!

She signed her pseudonym, Alessandra Richards and pressed the send button.

This is crazy, she told herself. No one would every believe that the reserved and oftentimes scary individual who hated male advances was the same individual who wrote such obscene things that could be read by anyone in the web.

Yet it was the exact same reason that she wrote as she did. She wanted to be heard. She wanted the inner voices in her heart to be proclaimed to an audience other than herself. She could not afford others to know her inner cravings though.

Oh, it would never do. It was the anonymity that consumed her. She wrote as Alessandra. She wrote as a confident woman who despite of her circumstances, was able to express her sexuality through her stories.

She needed to do this, she reminded herself. It was something that she had thought of for the longest period of time. She was going to do this for herself. For once in her life, she wanted to forget all her inhibitions. All these rules that were restricting her from any sort of physical contact, Alessandra would never have them.

In her mind, her alter ego told her to believe in herself. It reminded her to have courage and go through with this new plan she had hatched. It was not going to allow her to hide anymore.

She took a huge breath, settling her nerves. With newfound confidence, she felt the upper buttons of her pajama top and quietly stripped in front of the full length mirror. She observed the lines and planes of her body, the soft curves of her pelvis, and the blunt tips of her breasts.

She reached out for the black lingerie strewn over the white satin sheets. Bringing the brassiere close to her lips, she gingerly used her teeth to remove the tag. Smiling, she fit it over her breasts and carefully checked that it was snug yet comfortable.

It barely covered her breasts but the effect of the black on her pale white skin was unmistakable. She had never bought such a luxury that would not be seen by others for herself. But it will be seen by someone soon, she reminded herself.

Accompanying the black lace bra were the black panties that she quickly assessed would not be covering her buttocks as much as she would have liked. In high school, a friend of hers once said that the only reason girls had black underwear was to have sex. Giggling, she walked towards her closet and after a few minutes, pulled out what she was looking for.

The dress she chose for tonight was something that she hadn't worn in years. It was bought for her by her cousin who insisted that she would need it someday. Chuckling to herself, she would never know that the day for the dress had finally come.

Scrutinizing herself in the mirror, she turned and checked that nothing was amiss before clutching her bag and smiling in awe at the woman that stared back at her.

With determination in her eyes, she fixed her hair and with finality, walked out of her apartment into the dark night that awaited her.

"Happy hunting," a quiet voice said. The man, hidden from her view watched her get into her car with confidence he hadn't seen this morning. Smiling, he got into his own car, the sleek black monstrosity parked a few paces from hers.

This is going to be one hell of a night, he told himself. And he was going to make sure of that.

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Hi! This is my first submission in this site and I hope you'll give me some encouragement to continue! I'd love to hear what you think about this story. Ciao! - Sabryna