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Click hereJames stepped from the door, lips twisted with a furious, piercing shame. Monster. Perhaps that was the word...faint disappointment ached even now in the midst of these recriminations as she disappeared from view, and he turned savagely on himself for the offense. Beast. Some vile toad, masquerading as a man. If there were any question that he deserved the execution she had promised, it was now resolved. The bullet would be a liberation, freeing him from the corruption of his soul. The sooner received, the better. He could not remain here - the churning of self-loathing at his breast demanded that he leave, hide himself away before she could emerge. Before he had to face her eyes, knowing what he had done.
- COMMENTS
mydaddywasadollarover 8 years agoNow it's certain you've poured your heart and soul into this.
SO much writing here... and yet I still can't find myself getting annoyed at the extent of description you bring to this story. I usually skim read long parts of text but this one made me wanna drink it all in. Plus.... Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley keeps playing in my head every time they get close to each other. TOTALLY the song for this story and TOTALLY an epic forbidden romance masterpiece to me. Thank you :)
nomennescioover 10 years agoAuthorMy inexperience with other languages shows, apparently. Perhaps I shouldn't try to slip in bits of other tongues when I don't really know how to use them.
pope32767over 10 years agoIn no dialect of Spanish, at any time, is it conceivable for a father to address his son with the polite form "usted". Children are always "tú", except in voseo countries, which don't include either the U.S. or Mexico.
Warfolomeiover 11 years agoGood writing as usual. The whole situation fits with wild west period.
nomennescioalmost 12 years agoAuthorI'm not quite sure what you mean, anonymous. The Levis are precisely the blue jeans that I had in mind...unless they weren't blue at the time, but what little I read had certainly suggested that they were.
Now, the timing is admittedly a few years off, and doesn't quite work - Levis were patented in 1873, and the story takes place (non-explicitly) in '71 or '72. And I referred, of course, to her getting them a decade-ish earlier in '61 or '62, so...imperfect. But I figured a decade of anachronism was tolerable there.
The really tricky thing was avoiding use of electricity as a metaphor.
