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Click hereWe just froze and caught our breaths for a couple of moments when I realized that I was still surrounded by people. That Brock had just watched me fuck this domineering friend of his on a throne. That Sebastian's doe-eyed wife had just watched me fuck her husband. That his mistresses had all watched me fuck their master. That I was now a royal whore.
Rape isn't good unless you're a Trump supporter, and kidnapping and coercing people to fuck is rape.
I like your story. Please finish it. I am hanging here.
I like the frame work of this. I do agree this needs a bit more depth for Jack. I like the personality really and the fact that she does really come off confused. I like the attitude too. But at the same time I wish she explain the surroundings more that the story had a bit more depth in the scenes so that you can imagine yourself looking into it like a fly on the wall.
So far I think you have a great start. I am looking forward to seeing where you take this. I personally would love to see Jack move from the position of whore to Sebs wife.
I agree with the last commenter. "Jake" is a rather trite female whose character simply complains and yells, while giving little or no description of the environment around her. It makes the storyline a bit jumpy and kinda gives me a headache.