Blood from a Turnip

"My God Vince I had more money working as a gofer on the wrestling circuit that summer after High School then I do now"

That was my brother Tommy. We were sitting at my kitchen table and going over his finances for the upteem time. Tommy had not fared well in the 2 years since his Divorce.

"OK Tommy" I tried to explain again "you pull in $52K a year after taxes. That is about $4K a month you bring home. Now gone first off the top is the $500 a month you pay in child support each for Tommy Jr and little Frank-after that you have $3K a month left"

"I do not have a problem with that "Tommy interrupted. "Anything for my sons."

This was true. Tommy's ex-wife Brandy had used every trick in the book to keep Tommy from his two boys. Brandy always had an excuse when it was Tommy's weekend with the boys. When Tommy was coaching their little league team, Brandy pulled the kids off the team-she claimed it was hurting their grades. When Tommy volunteered as a Lunch Room Monitor at his son's school Brandy called the owner at the company that Tommy and I worked at. Brady reported Tommy was skipping work and not clocking out. However old man Alverez who owned our company response was not only paying for Tommy's time but lent him the company van. Mr. Alverez made paid time assisting a school company policy. Heck even I got involved doing lunch room duties 3 times a week.

"Pay attention" I instructed Tommy "next up the $1K a month court ordered maintenance for Brandy-now you have $2K a month left."

"That is such BS" Tommy blurted out then slapping the table "Brandy had only 6 months left on her nursing degree when we married. Why do I have to pay her Alimony?"

"Maintenance"

"Excuse me MAINTENANCE. I worked my butt off so she could stay home with the boys. Why can't she get her f'ning degree and get a job! No -she screwed around on me and I gotta to pay the freight why she keeps screwing around"

"We went over this. The maintenance –or alimony payments -is only for 6 years. It is the courts way to let Brandy get skills needed to enter the tight job market. It is common when one spouse has not been in the work force for a while. You are 2 years into that maintenance with 4 years left"

Tommy leaned back in the chair "6 years-She could get another degree in less than 4 years. Besides she has not even gone to one class yet"

I tried to continue "Then you have the house payments- mortgage, taxes etc. That comes to another $1K a month. You have left about $1K in your monthly paycheck at this point"

"Great" Tommy said looking up "Brandy picks out some McMansion that I bust my hump for, then I gotta pay for that place and I sleep in my car"

"Tommy you do not sleep in your car, although seeing where your apartment is your car may be a better option. Brandy only gets to stay in the house until little Frank turns 18 then you can sell"

"Yea and she gets 50%. I pay for the house and she gets free rent and 50% of the profits. How is that fair?"

"The courts concern is a stable place for the children. That is why you were ordered to keep making the house payments. Brandy gets 50% of your future sale because she is expected to keep your house maintained while you make the mortgage, insurance, and tax payments."

"That is even more BS" my brother Tommy countered " Every time something needs to be done I get a call. I would tell Brandy to go to hell-but it is one of the few times I can see the boys without a battle"

"Tommy out of your last thousand dollars left you must pay health and dental insurance for Tommy Jr and Frank about $300 a month"

"Nothing is more important than my boy's health. But I got two beefs. Number 1-why do I have to pay Brandy's heath care"

"Because our company family plans cost is same for the two boys as with or without Brandy on it. Court Judge said you have to carry Brandy also for the same time period as the maintenance payment. Judge cited it was not any additional financial burden"

"Easy for him to say" Tommy replied" what burns me is Brandy uses that health insurance against me. Every time it is my weekend to get the boys they are always too sick. It takes me a month to get on the court docket and drag Brandy before the Judge. Brandy waves all these doctor bills-which I pay for by the way-as proof the boys were too sick to see me. Damn Vince it is nothing more than sniffles, sore throats, and skinned knees and such. The week I am to get the kids, if either one of them coughs Brandy rushes them to the doctor. The only weekends I get the boys is when they need something-new shoes, haircuts, school supplies-that kind of stuff. Where is my child support money going, and the half of my 401K Brandy got? How is that fair?"

"Tommy no one said the Justice were fair-just blind"

"So I am left with $600 a month or $150 a week. I should just quit and say screw it all"

Just then my wife Lisa walked in and put two grocery bags on the table.

"How did quitting work –work out for you last time?" Lisa piped in hearing the end of our conversation.

Tommy just looked down at the table. A year after the divorce and divorce terms, Tommy had quit his job and stopped making any of the court ordered payments. Too bad for Tommy our state had a stiff Deadbeat Dad law that allowed the state to lock up those behind on child support for 60 days up to a year at a time. Two months after Tommy's own personal strike he was thrown in county lock-up. Tommy lasted 12 days before he agreed to comply with the court orders. Good thing Tommy was such a great.tech, old man Alverez gave him his job back. Tommy was a natural techie and craftsman; he could fix anything, as well as do anything-drywall, lay concrete, home repair, whatever. Tommy really shined with complex electronic machinery. Even senior engineers came to Tommy when they were stuck-even though Tommy did not have a degree. Tommy getting his job back was fortunate as not only did Tommy have to make up two months payments, but court costs also.

"Well I had plenty of company in the joint" Tommy grumbled. "Lot of Turnips in lock-up"

Turnip was the term used for Fathers who could not pay child support or alimony-as in "Cannot get blood out of a Turnip." At any time up to 13% of the county inmate population was "Deadbeat Dads –or Turnips" It is form of Debtor's prison sentence handed out like contempt of court. But as it was a Civil penalty a man was not even entitled to a lawyer-Not that it would have done Tommy any good.

My two boys came running in after their mother Lisa and ran right to Tommy

"Uncle Tommy! Uncle Tommy!" my 8 and 10 year old shouted jumping all over Tommy "Did you bring Candy! Did you bring Candy! Where is Candy! Where is Candy?"

Tommy laughed and pointed at the sliding glass door leading to our backyard. On the other side of the glass a large Doberman dog was dancing on his hind legs in excitement and whining loudly on seeing the two boys.

Candy a 110 pound black and tan male Doberman pincher was a dog my brother had adopted after cops had rescued him from a fighting house. The dog was called Candy because it was used as cannon fodder for the Pit Bulls to chew on to get them ready for a match. Candy had survived –but with serious injuries and Tommy had convinced the veterinarian not to put Candy down. Tommy had traded the Vet labor on a new outdoor deck in return for Candy's surgery costs. Candy looked like hell with one chewed up ear and scars crisscrossing his body from muzzle to tail. However while Candy looked like hell and would follow Tommy thru the gates of hell-Candy adored my boys and Tommy's sons. Candy let the boys do anything to him and stuck to them like glue.

"Boys" Tommy said "do not feed Candy too much" as my boys raided the fridge for hot dogs and meat products to give to Candy. While Tommy may be the boys favorite and only Uncle-Candy was their favorite dog.

Lisa opened the sliding glass door for the boys to rush out. You could see she was hesitant "Vince you sure they are going to be OK?" Lisa was not a big fan of dogs. Candy still frightened her a little, and seeing Candy's scarred muzzle and big teeth so close to her children made Lisa uneasy.

Lisa was watching the boys with Candy and both Tommy and I looked at her. Lisa and I were opposites in more ways than one. At just under six foot with light features and blue eyes, Lisa still looked like the star volleyball player whose skills had gotten her a full college scholarship. Lisa had legs that went on forever and her gams would make any Las Vegas dancer jealous. While not vain, Lisa was proud of her legs and always wore outfits that showed off her leggy figure. She was small busted -barely an A cup, and while two births had filled out her hips a bit-Lisa still had the looks of her northern German ancestors and could turn heads at 38 years of age. Even after 12 years of marriage I could not get over her. Tommy and I resembled our Italian forefathers both of us standing no more than 5 foot 6inches with dark features found in southern Italy. While not a Greek god I did not frighten children either, coaching the boy's sport's team had kept my expanding waistline at bay-harder to do now that my 40th birthday had just passed. Lisa was stubborn as a mule and would not back down once she had taken a position. I was more laid back and felt life was too short to sweat the small stuff. We had long ago gotten used to the looks our Mutt and Jeff appearance made.

Tommy adored Lisa. It was Lisa who told Tommy when she found Brandy was cheating on Tommy. Lisa had strong beliefs and when Brandy refused to stop or tell Tommy -Lisa gave Brandy an ultimate. Brandy thought Lisa was bluffing. Lisa never bluffs and called Tommy right in front of Brandy. The divorce was nasty, but Tommy admired Lisa for what she had done and often told me that often.

______________________

"How much was it this time?" Lisa asked that evening while coming out of the bathroom rubbing lotion onto her hands.

"100 dollars" I replied "Tommy Jr and Frankie need new shoes"

Lisa got into bed wearing a nightgown I liked. "What is Tommy going to do?

Since the divorce my brother was always borrowing money for his kids. But Tommy was no freeloader, he always did something that exceeded the loan-I think he had remodeled half my house in the past two years

"Hang that ceiling fan in the porch you wanted and install the tankless hot water heater" I was a skilled accountant but could not nail two boards together.

"Sounds like we got the better part of the deal on that one." Lisa then fluffed a pillow

"Tommy certainly did not get any deal with Brandy" I said sliding closer to Lisa.

The next statement from Lisa shocked me "Well it is not all Brandy's fault."

"Whoaaaa" I sat up "You want to tell me how Brandy cheating on my brother, and screwing him over is not her fault?"

Lisa wrinkled her brow before she spoke" Brandy was wrong to cheat. There is never any reason to cheat. But your brother overreacted"

"Overreacted!?"

"You know the courts almost always give custody to the mother. Thousands of studies show children are most always better off with their mothers. Say what you will about Brandy but she always was a good mother"

"Lisa studies also show children are better living as a family with a mother and father. How is Brandy breaking up the family with a divorce making Brandy a good mother?"

"Brandy did not file for divorce, Tommy did. Brandy didn't want a divorce"

"Lisa you know the story as well as I do. Brandy was not even sorry. She refused to stop going out with guys and wanted Tommy to stand down until she got ready to come back"

"Is Tommy better off now? It was only 3 guys and one of them was only a blow job. Brandy told me she was almost done anyway and wanted to get back to Tommy"

"Well that should have made it all better for Tommy"

"Vince don't be so dramatic. It was only sex-and bad sex from what Brandy told me. Remember after Vince Junior's birth? I had complications and was sick to my stomach for almost every day for two months. I knew you had needs and gave you a free pass to get laid. I even scoped out some of the ladies at Tony's school to fill in"

"Lisa I love you but sometimes you drive me crazy. I remember that time. For one -your hormones were all over the place after Vince's Jr. birth so I did not take you seriously. Number two our wedding vows included forsaking all others, not to mention In sickness and in health. I take those vows seriously. You said there was no excuse for cheating-are you now saying there are times when cheating is OK? Because I do not"

"I still think cheating is never OK. But I understand a bit of what Brandy was feeling. Brandy felt she was getting old and was seen as nothing but a mother and Tommy's husband. I do not agree with her cheating –but understand why Brandy did it"

"Lisa I think my head is going to explode. How can you agree with Brandy cheating but believe it was wrong?"

"Well if Brandy had told Tommy it would not have been cheating. If Brandy had told Tommy how she was feeling maybe they could have worked something out. Then there would have been no cheating involved."

"Worked things out? Not cheating if you tell your partner? Lisa you cannot be serious. If Brandy wanted to play cowboy and schoolmarm or cheerleader and football star-Tommy would have been game. But sex with another guy-never gonna happen"

"Then Tommy made the choice and has to live with the consequences. Again you got to ask is Tommy better off now. Look at it logically-what Brandy did was wrong by not telling him-but it was already done. Nothing could change the past, no way to un-ring that bell. The decision Tommy had to make was dealing with his and his family future. Seriously is he doing better now than if he had let slide a couple of stupid meaningless sex sessions that did not threaten him in any way and only pumped up Brandy's self-esteem."

"OK Lisa what is the number of sex partners that Tommy should let slide? 3, 5, 10?"

"Now you are being silly Vince. It is different with women then with men. I saw a few grays last week and it really got me down. Ladies are always judged by their looks."

"What is the big deal?-You always look great. If a few gray hairs is bothering you then head off to your favorite salon and pick out the hair color of your choice"

"It is more than that. After a certain age women become invisible. No one looks at us, wants us, it is like we are not even there. It should not matter-but it does. I know men and women are getting more equal than in our parents days, but until a lady can walk around with a beer belly and a thinning hair yet think they are still sexy it is not going to change."

"So cheating and jumping on a strange dick is going to make you equal, make the marriage better? "

"It is not about the sex, and it isn't cheating if the other partner knows about it." Lisa reached down and fondled me. "You and I are great in bed and you know that. It is about that feeling of being admired, the thrill of for the first time. Something new, a different feeling, that adrenaline rush of being wanted, of deciding to go or not"

"Lisa you know that Tommy adored Brandy before the divorce and you know that the kids and I are your number one fan club and we adore you. But you are saying cheating will make..." I hesitated for a moment "-Lisa do you have something to tell me about the past?" I could feel my blood pressure rise up and my hard on go down.

Lisa shifted closer to me and her hands worked below to bring my penis back to life. "Vince I have never cheated on you and never will"

Lisa knew how to press my buttons and lowered her mouth to my penis. She cupped my balls as she sucked and my dick was at full attention now. After a few minutes of this heavenly feeling I maneuvered Lisa around so we were in a 69. In our first few years of marriage we called it a 68.5 due to our differences in height. Lisa loved to give and receive oral and I enjoyed eating her out.

After a few minutes Lisa's movements were becoming more frantic and I could hardly hold back myself. Lisa pulled away from my dick and whipping around to impale herself on my manhood. I could feel her pussy spasm as her orgasm clenched me tight. That set me off over the edge and I spurted into her. Lisa came a 2nd time then rode me for a few minutes before coming down off her organism high and getting off me to cuddle.

I was rubbing her back and she was purring contently. Lisa whispered in my ear.

"Just think Tommy is missing all the good times with Brandy like we have all because of some stupid dates in the past he cannot do anything about"

"Lisa you are freaking me out" I rolled over to go to sleep "Brandy is squeezing Tommy so much for money he is going to lose it soon. You can't get blood out of a stone-or Turnip" and I turned off the light-

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Three weeks later I was pulling into my driveway late one evening and I saw two cars parked by my curb. Standing around the late model cars were some guys and few girls from the University judging by their dress. I walked into the house to see a large young man sitting on my couch watching TV and drinking one of my beers.

"Can I help you son" I asked the giant. He was as tall as me and he was sitting down, his arms were almost as large as my legs

"No I'm cool "said the giant "you must be Lisa's old man. Dude you are lucky to have a MILF like that every night." He put down the beer " I'm gonna be her date tonight"

I set down my briefcase "Did you just say -You are Lisa's date tonight

"Ya man. That Lisa is one hot cougar, but she really made me jump thru the hoops for this date. On line interview, medical test, two meetings at the mall that were like a damn job interview. I was skying when she picked me. Dude I hope it is worth it." He rubbed a hand over his crotch "Tell me man she's good-right?"

"Well Good is not a word I would use. Excuse me" I then took off upstairs taking the steps two at a time. I caught Lisa in the bedroom putting on her make-up. Lisa was dressed in painted on jeans, CFM s heels and a tight shirt.

"Lisa what is the jolly green giant doing in our living room? And what is this nonsense about a date?"

Lisa did not even look away from the mirror as she was putting on her lipstick.

"His name is Randy, he is on the University wrestling team and majoring in Communications" Lisa then turned toward me. "I am sorry you got home late from work tonight -I wanted to get this out of the way before Randy came over. But I gotta rush so I will give you the quick version. Sit down for a second" Lisa patted on the bed and I sat down on our flowered comforter.

"Vince I am not getting any younger and I have been a good wife to you for over 12 years and mother to our children for over a decade. I just need this right now in my life-you must understand that. It has nothing to do with you or the kids."

"So you are going to pull a Brandy?" I could hardly speak my heart was pounding thru my chest .

"NO -what Brandy did was wrong. This is not cheating because I am being very open about what is going on. We talked about this last month. "

"Lisa you are splitting hairs -this is wrong and cheating no matter what you say. I am asking-no telling you as your husband of 12 years and father of your children to stop this nonsense. I think you need a medical work-up. This not you" My face was flush and I was starting to sweat.

Lisa finally turned to look at me. "Well it is too late now-Randy is already here"

"Lisa it is not too late until you walk out that front door. I will take care of Randy" with that I left the bedroom and bounded down the stairs, my heart still going a million miles a minute.

"Randy" I said and the guy stood up. Randy towered above me. "There has been a misunderstanding. Lisa will not be going out with you "