Bloodlust & Redemption

"Was it so painful?"

"No."

She started to bite at her own lip. "You had your lips on mine already. Do you think you could kiss me again?"

"Maybe, if you stop biting your lip." He leaned in slowly and allowed his lips to barely brush against hers. "Are my lips too cold?"

"No," she said breathless and shaken. "Please, kiss me again."

This time with gentle care he explored her mouth. His tongue swept across hers, tangling and retreating with equal grace. She moved against him allowing her breasts to press against his chest. She felt a tremor move through him, and a sharp tooth scraped across her lip. He released her slowly and stood up.

She remained sitting with a questioning look on her face. "What went wrong?"

"For a moment, I lost my head and forgot to think about what I was doing."

"That would be a good thing."

"No, it could of allowed my urges to creep up on me, so I would be unable to control them."

"I cannot imagine you out of control."

"I do not want to imagine it either. Let us not tempt fate anymore this night. I want to walk away with my memories of our kiss."

"What about Michael? I cannot bear his suffering any longer. I give my full consent for you to end his suffering, but if I can convince him, would you consider turning him so that we could have longer together?"

"Even if that went well, then he would some day watch you die."

"You could turn me too. We could be a family."

The word must have struck a cord in him, because he did not answer as she had expected him to. "One can only be turned under the light of the first full moon of the month. It is but in two short days from now. I shall come to you then with the twilight. I make no promises."

Chapter 3—Full Moon

March 11, 1819

And the dark Heaven of Houris' eyes
On him shall glance for ever bright;
"The Giaour" by Lord Byron

I had not been able to escape Michael's cries in the night as I waited for the Full Moon. The word family, with all of its implications, I had thought upon. Eventually, I had gotten it all turned and twisted around in my head, so that I no longer was sure of any of my arguments. I had tried to look beyond my selfish side, which thought it would be nice to go about eternity with a brother. I could still not guarantee what he would become. Yet, I thought maybe, with me there to guide him and his love for Margaret as an incentive, it would be possible to help him overcome the initial bloodlust that could potentially turn him into a savage with no thought to the loss of human life to feed.

Of course, thoughts of Margaret and her safety still plagued me, as the moon began its ascent into the sky. I would have to ensure she came through this safely. She most certainly would have to go if I turned him. She could not be the first human he encountered. Of this, I would not waiver. Another matter of contention was then having to take Michael out into the night among the living and ensure their safety. If I turned him, and he killed, I would have the devil to pay.

The matter with Margaret was more convoluted to ponder. She had not yet had the time to truly see what life had to offer. If I took her life, in order to be given a second chance at a family I knew I did not deserve, it felt of selfishness. If she never came to love me or changed her mind, her life could not be restored to her. Just the thought made me shutter. There were truly no guarantees in this life whether you went through it alive or as the walking dead. Already, I had manifested a bond with this woman which was proving impermeable to all other factors. It was a rather formidable realization that brought with it no peace to have happened upon love at first site once dead.

I quelled the instinctive flash of ire raging through me. I was hopelessly at the end of my opportunity for the debate of it. I had to go toward a man, whose sickness had left him with little time left, possibly hoping of me what I was still unsure I could do.

I stood on the pavements outside the townhouse once the hills had completely hidden the sun's menacing face. As I was considering which entrance to use this time, Margaret appeared in Michael's window. I leapt to her feeling the warmth of her smile, and something clawed in my stomach to claim her for my own.

Poised upon the windowsill like a leopard about to attack, the chit pulled my face to hers and kissed me. I was lost in her, to her. Her smell was intoxicating; the lure of her body was undeniable. When my hands clasped around her neck, I could feel her pulse beating wildly. I let my hands cascade over the outline of her form, down her sides only to come to meet again pressed against the small of her back. I pulled her dangerously closer, wiggling her in between my crouched legs, trying to rein in all of the wicked things I wanted to do to the curves pressed up against me. When I grazed my lips across the warm silk of hers, it crossed my mind that if I had a beating heart this woman would detonate it within my chest. The one thing I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, was for eternity I would bleed with an eager desire to possess her.

Keeping her imprisoned with my legs, I drew back to see my hunger mirrored in her eyes. "Have you but the least notion what you do to me? Why did you do that?"

"Because I feared you would not, and I could wait no longer."

"You have no sense of danger or propriety do you?"

"Propriety is of no use to me now, and it was danger I wanted to tempt. You, sir, by denying me your touch make me suffer so."

"Well, I suppose, I do have my uses upon occasion." I made the declaration sarcastically trying to make light of it all. I had sworn to myself that I would not let my love or my lust nor my enmity or my ethics impose upon the decisions to be considered tonight. "How is Michael?"

"I had at first feared he would not hold on till the full moon. However, once we were able to talk at length, he was in a mind to agree with me. He would like you to restore his body, granting him a different life."

"I must speak to him myself. He must be aware of all of the implications, not just your take on things. I swear, once you get a maggot in your pretty head, it is all over for us poor susceptible males."

I spoke to Michael as best I could. I at least made sure he was hearing all I had to say. I found him not only to be quite aware, but quite agreeable. He would soon become the second person I had bitten in ten years, although he alone would be the first I would turn.

"Margaret, I should not like you to be here for this. However, I will give you a moment to speak one last time with him before."

I stepped out into the hall, thankful for the terse duration to clamp down upon any lingering apprehension. I had to believe they both would come through this safely, or I would not be strong enough to see it through. All too soon the door opened, and Margaret joined me. Her proximity, while not fitting of a lady, was intoxicating. I pulled her into another kiss. I had to have her against me. I had to hold her this one last time, just in case some part of the plan failed. This time I allowed my tongue to plunder her mouth seizing what, beyond all reason, I wanted from her.

"I want you, David. I want to be with you forever," she said the words of my own thoughts breathlessly into my mouth.

"I want to be with you too my love, but one thing at a time. Please lock yourself within your room. I will come when it is over. He will not wake up again until tomorrow night at twilight. Tonight he will lie dead as the full moon transforms him. He will sleep for the day, and arise again tomorrow night. I will blacken the room covering the windows securely. I will stay until he has become a vampire. I am not sure how soon you will be able to see him again. I will have to assure he is able to be near you first."

"Could you come to me after it is done, before you go to sleep? Will you wait with me the remainder of the dark until the dawn? Please, I am going to be much alone for who knows how long."

"This is what you wanted, remember?"

"I still do. My brother knows how I feel. Go to him now, and end his suffering for good."

"I just hope, when all of this is said and done, you will still see me as a gallant knight, as one who saved him."

She kissed me with a fleeting sweep of her warm skin and locked herself within her room as I had asked. I stood there a moment marveling how much she must want of this for her brother that she had not haggled me about turning her also. But, I had not time to let my suspicions wonder. There was work to be done.

Chapter 4—Midnight's Choices

March 12, 1819

And fire unquench'd, unquenchable,
Around, within, thy heart shall dwell;
Nor ear can hear nor tongue can tell
The tortures of that inward hell!
"The Giaour" by Lord Byron

I ought to have known what draining his life would cost me, but I had been ill prepared for the barrage of sentiments over and beyond all reason or affections once it was done. With the taste of him still on my tongue, I had sought Margaret with a bereaved knock upon her door. I needed for some Port to clear the delicious, assaulting taste from my mouth.

I gulped the glass of wine she gave me letting the sweet burn move to where it could dull my bedeviled sympathies had I been but human. Blood or Port, I found myself feeling confident now that I would not hurt her. Yet, I was held back by Michael's final request before I bit him.

"As I bent over Michael, he asked of me one final request. I am sure it will be of no news to you. He has put me in the mind of the forbidden desire to have the three of us become a family. I must warn you that at this moment, having taken a life, I am man enough to admit to wishing I had tears to shed in order to have but some release from what I feel. This actual physical illness I have not experienced since I was human."

"Thank you for your sacrifice, David. I am sorry this has hurt you so much. Michael will be eternally grateful for what you have done. I know this to be true."

"I know now that I could never hurt you, but to drain you of life when you have so much of one still to live seems... I do not know as if I can do it. It is much you ask of me. I have tried not to love you!" My bellow rebounded off the walls and then faded along with my resolve.

"First, you would not touch me, and now you refuse to turn me?" The fierceness of her anger filled her voice. The tears that threatened to spill over her eyelids besieged me. "I love you, and you will not leave me alone in this life. Would you rather me waste away to a bitter spinster in this empty house with nothing but the regret of what I never had to fill my thoughts? What type of condemnation is that? If you will not do it, then I will secure my chosen fate with another vampire once you are gone. I will search the dregs of the city among the gambling hells and brothels until I find a vampire to turn me, so that we can all be together. I love you, and we are going to be a family together whether you help me or not."

I felt frantic to extinguish the agony of her tender affections from her face. She saw me as a man, instead of a savage. And, she found nothing perverse or wicked within me even as a vampire. Instead, I felt as if she had the ability to mar me. I felt helpless to find a way in which I could annul this hopeless impasse we had found ourselves at.

****

Remaining silent, he lifted her chin with one hand, allowing the other to run down the elegant curve of the exposed skin of her neck. His lips on her throbbing pulse there were but a sweltering caress. A molten urgency to learn of all the glorious pleasures he could give her ran through her veins. She tightly shut her eyes and sagged against him awaiting the piercing pain that would grant her eternity with this honorable vampire she loved. So, when his lips departed from her flesh, her back went up.

"I have waited for a man like you for so long."

"I am not just a man." His voice had taken on a forlorn, warning tone. However, she chose not to heed it.

"I love you, and yet you would still rather see me alone than to grant my wish to be your immortal bride?"

"You threaten me into doing the unthinkable?"

She stood there looking at this man who was so torn between his morals and his desires. With him, she felt the culmination of her most amiable and her most nefarious yearnings. He was the best of the dark and the light. Margaret decided to change her approach. Their battle of words was getting them nowhere. Since he held the power over her future, she decided to see what power she had over his physical longings. She pulled from all of her meager knowledge gained from lurid novels.

In her callow position, she advanced upon him. She recklessly, on tiptoes, fisted the hair at his neck, and brought him to her. With an audacious thrust of her tongue, she found her way into his mouth. When her hands fell to his shoulders, she felt his every muscle to be stiff. She continued the kiss lashing at his tongue with hers as a diversion to rid herself of her gown. It took but the pull of one ribbon high upon her waist to shimmy herself out of it. Unashamed, her fingers found the front of his trousers.

A feral groan escaped him as his hands grabbed for her wrists. He yanked her back away from him, leaving him to find her in only a silky white chemise. When his teeth clenched together and she saw a shudder wrack his body, she looked down upon herself proudly to the two hardened nipples that hinted a blush of color through the material in the play of the candlelight. Before, she had found his moral sinew to be as alluring as his muscles, but enough was enough. Margaret knew she was winning his acquiescence when she caught the raw lust flashing in his blackened eyes.

"You can not comprehend the nature of the beast you are extricating. You wish me to take possession of your body and then bind your life with mine." He swept her up in his arms and with an unsettling quickness did pitch her onto the feather tick. As she gracefully uncurled herself, he took her mouth fiercely. With fluent actions, he divested her of her final garment. The rush of the moving fabrics over her flesh left her tingling and eventually exposed. She followed his eyes to the shadow of curls at the apex of her thighs feeling a surge of longing.

David stroked his fingers down through the silky curls, letting his fingers brush over her tender petals also. Lowering his head, he placed a whisper of a kiss upon her woman's flesh. As she was inundated by her delicate senses, his tongue found her. It was gentle and persistent in its assault, persuading her flesh into an elevated passion.

When he took to kneeling upon the bed to rid himself of his own entrapments, she found herself upon a mercurial precipice.

She watched as he swiftly made haste of removing everything from his waistcoat to his falls. Due to this most bright of nights, the taunt muscles of his shoulders and abdomen and thighs rippled before her in the wash of moonlight and shadows. She thought him just the picture a hero should be. When he reached down to brush his hands over her erect nipple, a shock of lightening seared through her. A primitive instinct raised her hand to the hardness that reached for her between his thighs. She lay there shocked by the silken feel of it, as with a ferocious moan, he crashed his large body down on hers with the gentleness of a lover.

Feeling the weight of his need on her thigh, Margaret arced against him like a brazen woman in response to the pleasure squalling within her. "Love, I am not going to be able to make you mine slowly if you continue about in such a wanton manner." "Do not consider it then."

"I will not hurt you any more than I have to. Would you wish a sip of port first?"

She considered the wine briefly. Her blood already flowed erratically. The excitement and anticipation of exploring the unfamiliar was whimsical and volatile at the same time, as it fluttered about in the pit of her stomach. Any whispered warnings had been already shrouded by her desires. She wished no longer to be the purely sensible and wholly reliable maiden. Margaret wished to be his in every way a woman could belong to a man and to a vampire.

Tossing aside the question, she brought her lips to his. The kiss was gentle until his hands fisted into her hair. He sought entry into her mouth. Each sweep of his tongue met with hers. His hands swept down her back, and she felt his body tremble.

Feeling the muscles ripple under the skin of his abdominals pressing against her, she opened her legs in invitation. David settled between them with the taunt skin of his shaft lying across her most secret place. The moist flesh pulsed from this prelude to joining, causing the muscles in her stomach to clench.

When she could not take it any longer, she thrust upward. His hardness touched the sensitive skin that lead up inside of her. As he continued his kisses, her body relaxed in places, while it tensed in others. She was a bundle of nerves and need. He pulled from her mouth leaving her breathless and wanting in wicked places.

Margaret saw something faintly resembling a smile move over the tense muscles of his face. He stared at her with eyes a burning ebony, pleadingly searching for approval to go on. Timidly, she reached her hands to touch his cheeks, as if she could soften them. She let her fingers glide over his chin, down his neck and finally come to rest on his shoulders. Inch by inch, she gradually closed the gap between their bodies, until she was once again lost in the gentleness of his devouring kisses.

He coddled her gently, teaching her the pleasure of touch. Yet, she did not have to wait long before her hero's shaft was entering her. David braced his upper body with his arms, allowing himself to slide in with great care. She glanced down to see the point where their bodies mingled. Dragging her tired legs up over his brawny muscles, a piercing pain went hot through her causing her to loose her breath.

"I am so sorry, Margaret." His forehead dropped on hers, and his head shook slightly.

"It was a necessary pain that will forever bind us together. Everything in life comes at some cost. You would be good to just accept this fact to be."

He pulled her into his full embrace allowing arousal to follow the trail of the already fleeting pain. With a gentle determination, he moved himself fully into her, completing what would be their grand alliance.

She felt his mouth over the large vein in the base of her neck, and she whispered into his ear, "I love you, David, for all of eternity."

His breath came hot, moistening her skin, as he moved inside of her. Her inner muscles clenched around him, begging him for more.

"I love you too, Margaret. Never leave me." She felt the tears burn her eyes, while in one fluid motion he pierced her skin and pushed one last time into her. She felt the waves of her release as the warm liquid of his filled her. As she shattered around the last movements of their mating, she could feel her life releasing as well. Upon the wash of total relaxation, which comes from two lovers becoming one, everything went black.

****

My body heaved over hers with racking sobs, even though I had not tears to cry as her life ended. I could not allow myself to truly think about what I had just done, although I knew it to be my everlasting bane. I had deceived her of the full consequences of my actions which were now coming fully upon me. Dressing Margaret in a beautiful white dressing gown and dragging her into my arms, I embraced her feeling heavy with regret and eager with a reluctant optimism. Just as I could feel the vice of my sacrifice mixed with the weight of the dawn on my body, I laid her down upon her bed, which I had carried into Michael's room. I curled her lifeless body up against mine, and whispered to her my love as day sleep took me.