Bloodlust & Redemption

Chapter 5—Twilight's Family

March 12, 1819

But now is borne away by thee,
Memorial of thine agony!
"The Giaour" by Lord Byron

When the twilight came again, I awoke to the stirring of the body I held tightly against mine. Hearing light moans in the next bed, I sat up to face the sober truth of what I had done as the tangled situation came crashing down upon me again along with the malady that racked my body. Michael sat up undaunted like he had all the strength in the world. It was amazing the transformation. His skin radiated life despite its new pale color.

"Michael," I chocked out his name in a baked voice.

His smile was a snatch sinister until he caught the sight of his sister curled up against me. He seemed besieged and befogged a moment attending to the newness of his surroundings. It dredged up my own awakening upon being turned, the insipid confusion of grim needs and odious desires which wheedle you making you but mad as the enormity of your perilous malediction sets in.

"I did as you both asked, Michael. Please, forgive me." I touched her face, only a few shades paler than the powders she wore had previously made it. A soft murmur thrummed from her mouth, and my attempt at detangling what she had said was outflanked by a rush of relief of a magnitude I had never known . "Margaret, my love, wake up. Michael and I are waiting for you."

With little effort she sprang up. My new brother moved with a flash that had obviously surprised him, and I felt the bed move slightly against the additional weight. I watched Michael sniff at Margaret with that hunger in his eyes. When it registered she was vampire too, he bolted to the door desperate, I knew, to feed. This was what I had feared, and hoped to help them overcome. After I had drank from them both last night, I had brought in blood from two deer leaving it by the fire for them to feed upon until I was well enough again to take them on a proper hunt. Then, with the last bit of strength I could muster, I had secured the door hoping the makeshift braces would hold against his new strength.

As he remained bent on getting out, I could see by Margaret's glower my lack of movement and tired voice whetted her interest in my condition despite her hunger. On that score, tension seeped torturously into my debilitated muscles. I had not allowed myself a guess at how quickly she would come to understand my subterfuge. Her blackened eyes darkened, if possible, radiating the vexation of her comprehension.

"In the large cooking pot over there is what you both need, although Michael seems uninterested in it at the moment. He will come to get used to it as a suitable replacement for what his body craves." I addressed her seeing as how she seemed skittish, but by no means unmanageable as I was presently worried he was.

"You get it," her head cocked to one side setting a challenge upon me. Testing myself, I tried to sit up, but was taken by a pain indescribable so as I could no longer suppress a grimace as much as I may have desired to do so. "You neglected to tell me you could become ill from his diseased blood. Will you die now?" Her less than pleasing tone carried the weight of her anger and her fear. I knew her to be ruffled as well by what would feel like an insatiable hunger.

"No, I did not tell you. Would it have changed what you asked of me?" I brooded matching the dark depths of her question at odds with myself rather than her.

"You should have told me everything. Will you die now? Did you sacrifice your life for him?"

"This is not life, as I tried to explain before. Look at Michael, this is death. I will heal, but his poisoned blood will weaken me for awhile along with the overindulgence of draining you both. That is why I brought the blood for you to feed upon until I have the strength to take you out of here safely." I tried not to let on of the wretched miserable pain which wracked my body also. To me it felt but a trifle of redemption for past sins against my old family and the ill gotten gains of creating my current one.

Her ire was quelled by a knock upon the front door directly below us. I glanced upon Michael, who had taken on a devilishly demented look with his fangs glistening in the dim glow of the fire.

"Damnation, who has come calling?" I muttered indignantly.

"Opium," was all that came from Michael before he threw his body into the door with a man's ardor which was the final straw causing it to crack after his ardent ministrations upon it while I had been settling my debt with his sister.

I sprang unthinking and crumbled to the floor as my legs refused to do my unthought bidding. From my position, I caught sight of Margaret following him and fought against the fiery pain tormenting my limps to go after them.

The scream of the door hinges hit my ears, as I caught Margaret on the stairs. I trapped her under my falling weight thankful she was now a sturdier vampire and would swiftly heal from any injury I may have afflicted upon her. The door shattered hitting against the wall at the base of the stairs as the struggle below began. There was nothing I could do to stop the killing. I knew the poor man's blood was on my hands as I fought to keep purchase upon a struggling Margaret. Here was but one more life I had extinguished.

Due to the vulnerable predicament I had left myself in, she was able to free herself. Whereupon I tried not to succumb to another excruciating bite of the sickness, I all but tumbled down the rest of the stairs. Dredging up what I had left in me, I caught her sucking what blood she could from the dead man Michael had left at the threshold before his flight from the house. She was surrounded by red roses as the vase which had once sat in the entranceway had been shattered in the initial attack.

She would have been a vision surrounded by the spill of flowers if not for the matching crimson blood which dripped from her chin . Words I had once said to her echoed through my head in reference to not spilling a cursed drop of her blood. The irony of the situation, the hollow promise I had failed in keeping, hurt more than my current afflictions. While she attempted to pry herself from my grip, unspeakable pain marred my ability to reason.

The red drops which fell from the face of the savage I created were the tears I could not shed as I suffered the consequences of my interference with fate. Riddled with guilt, I bit into my own wrist and shoved it into her mouth knowing I was making her sick to save her. It would buy me time to heal, so I could care for her properly once she did also.

I observed her unladylike behavior until I could stomach no more. I reached for a tender rose, and the soaked petals smeared blood onto my fingers in a sickly symbolic way. Margaret had not thought yet of the loss of her brother, as she ferociously drank from me. Even though my prayers were surely no longer heard, I let my head fall against hers, bowing in reverence as I begged to reunite her with her brother. I had only to find him so I could remind him of the humanity I had taken.

In that moment, I allowed myself to face the totality of the truth. I was cursed to live forever with the woman I loved. I would immortally suffer the consequences of my own inhumanity because I was able to recognize the beast I lived as thanks to what humanity remained within me. Thanks to the physical death denied me, I would suffer for eternity an internal death—always reminded of what I took from her making her like me.

"Forgive me, for loving you," I pleaded as I unconsciously crushed what was left of a delicate rose in my fist.