Blue Dawn Fades

I awoke with an ache in my groin and a residue of beer, cigarettes, and pussy in my mouth. I felt a little sick to my stomach. The nausea had two sources. Part of it was from building up to what should’ve been a massive orgasm and not being able to release. In other words, blue balls. A bigger reason for my topsy-turvy gut was anxiety caused by being disgusted with myself for getting into yet another relationship with a girl who I don’t have particularly strong feelings for.

I don’t imagine that I’m the only person in the world who gets laid and afterwards feels like throwing himself off a tall building and splattering on the sidewalk below. I’m sure I’m not the only one who fucks and then feels like dying. But at that moment, I was feeling utterly alone, sad, and a mildly freaked out.

What little sleep I’d gotten was fitful. I climbed out from under the covers and sat naked on the edge of the bed. I scratched my crusty pubic hair and reached for my cigarettes and lighter. I fired one up, sucking on it gingerly because I’d only just recently taken up smoking them. I carefully exhaled a small puff. The milky wisp slowly spun away in the haunting gray-blue glow of a cold September dawn in Wishport, PA. A chill wind snuck in through the flimsy blue drapes shrouding a half-open window on the other side of the bedroom. The air smelled of recent rain and rotting leaves.

Gina stirred and reached out a bare arm from under the gray comforter, but I was out of reach. Her wavy straw-colored hair covered her face. I dropped the cigarette into a plastic bottle of Mountain Dew on the nightstand. The butt hissed as it hit the electric-green liquid. I gently pulled the comforter over her arm and rose from the bed to get dressed. I climbed into my trusty pair of baggy blue jeans, which hadn’t been laundered in days, and buckled the worn brown leather belt. I retrieved my gray t-shirt from under the dark heap of her skirt and blouse. I leaned over and placed a peck on her hair-covered cheek.

I wasn’t sure if I’d woken her up or not. “I gotta go,” I whispered.

No response. She was snoring as I padded out of the bedroom. I found my well-worn running shoes by the front door and my black hoodie on the coat rack. Nemo, Gina’s little orange cat, rubbed against my leg and purred. I crouched down and scratched his head. “I gotta go, buddy. I’ll catch ya later.”

As I jogged down the steep lopsided stairs outside the house I remembered that I’d forgotten my boxers. I wasn’t going back for them. I’d freeball it. She could keep them as a souvenir. More likely, she’d use them as bait to try to get me to return. I imagined the phone call: “Come on, Michael. You have to come get your boxers. I’m not delivering them to you.”

I headed down the sidewalk towards Allegheny Avenue and made a right at the corner. With my hands in the pockets of my hoodie and my head down, I recalled the previous night’s events.

It was a depressingly standard scenario. I showed up at Gina’s with two six-packs of Lager which we whacked down rather rapidly while watching whatever stupid shit was on TV. Then we started making out on the couch and retired to her bedroom for a bout of fucking before falling asleep. For some reason I couldn’t come. I humped her for a half an hour straight and just could not come. It was like I was blocked up or something.

Gina and I’d been “seeing each other” (whatever the fuck that means) off and on for a few months. We hit it off one Saturday night at Broke’s Bar and had been fooling around ever since. She watched too much TV as far as I was concerned. I know her feelings for me were of a different order than mine for her, but I didn’t know what to do. I mean, she was hot as hell. Her hair’s beautiful. Her little nose and chin. Her small, firm tits with the big nipples. Her flat stomach. Her firm ass. Her eager snatch. Oh man, call me shallow, but I was having a hard time walking away from that. But I knew I had to soon. We had next to nothing in common.

I was walking down the Ave with an ache in my loins, totally lost in a swamp of self-analysis when this 20-something dude just a little shorter than me, with crazy messed-up brown hair and a short neatly-trimmed reddish beard, wearing a camouflage army coat, tight blue jeans, and a worn-out pair of Docksides strides out from between two buildings and goes, “Here, man, take this and pass it on to whoever you think might enjoy it.” He then shoved a folded piece of paper into my sweatshirt pocket and ducked back between the two buildings. I cautiously peered into the alley and saw him jogging down it and then disappear around a corner. “Alrighty then,” I said out loud and looked at what he’d given me.

It was a largish piece of what looked to be paper torn out of a sketchpad. Written in big letters in black marker was this message: “KILL YOURSELF”. Beneath the words was a ludicrous drawing of a giant penis with lines coming out the end to signify semen. I just shook my head and put it back in my pocket. I’ve always been a fan of random shit like that. I had a feeling I’d run into that character again. It’s a small town, after all.

The streetlights blinked out as the sun slowly climbed above the low forested hills hugging Wishport. The air was warming slightly. I didn’t feel like going home, but I didn’t know where else to go or what to do. I wasn’t used to being out and about at five in the morning. The morning calm was momentarily disrupted by the asthmatic rumble of an big old half-rusted car going by, pouring forth a noxious cloud of black exhaust. I decided to lean against a tree, attempt another cigarette, and ponder my options.

No sooner had I gotten the cigarette lit and taken a tentative drag when my good friend, Nicole, burst out of the greasy spoon about twenty yards down the street and hurried off in the other direction. I called out to her and she spun around. “What the fuck are you doing?” she yelled.

I flung my barely smoked cigarette into a puddle in the middle of the street, coughed, and went towards her. “Um, I dunno.” When I got to her we hugged. Her green army coat was unzipped and she had on a gray sweater underneath. She smelled like cigarettes and some kind of essential oil. “What are you doing?” I asked.

“Oh, I got all wrapped up in a web page I’m working on. I just had to finish it.” She was speaking rather rapidly. Nicole’s prone to bouts of mania and she appeared to be in one at the moment. “I ran out of coffee so I packed up my computer,” she patted the black messenger bag slung over her shoulder, “and cruised on over to the Diner.”

“Did you finish the page?”

“Mostly. I just have to go over it one more time to make sure there aren’t any typos.” She pushed her fine, brown hair behind her ears.

“That’s cool,” I said for lack of anything better to say.

“Yeah.” She gave me a funny look. “Need a ride?”

It dawned on me that I’d driven to Gina’s and that my car was parked in front of her place. I still didn’t want to go home, though. “Can I hang out at your place?”

“Sure. I drank two pots of coffee tonight. I’ll be good to go all day. Nothing like pulling an all-nighter.” She pulled out a cigarette and lit it. She nonchalantly inhaled the toxic, vaguely intoxicating smoke and smoothly exhaled a big puff. I admired her skill at smoking. “What are you doing out here, anyway?” she asked.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Wait a minute, I know! You were gettin’ some pie, weren’t you?” she questioned teasingly. “Did I catch you on the walk of shame?”

“Pff...not me. I have no shame.” I grinned at her.

“That’s for sure. Come on, let’s go.” She hooked my arm with hers and we were off down the street.

The drive to her apartment took all of about five minutes since it’s only six blocks from the Diner. We had a bit of trouble getting into her building because she momentarily forgot the security code. Apparently an ex of hers, who knew the old code, was hassling her so she changed it.

As soon as we entered her apartment, I kicked off my sneakers and threw myself onto her old worn-out green couch. I was beat, but I doubted I could fall asleep without whacking off first.

“Tired?” she asked with her back to me. She’d set her laptop on the desk in the corner of the living room and was connecting the power and internet cables. I stared absently at her ass. The back pockets of the black cargo pants she was wearing were centered perfectly over her plump buttcheeks. The pocket flaps were folded at odd angles. Nicole wasn’t one for ironing. I lifted my eyes to hers when she turned around. She shook her head at me like I was a little boy who’d just done something wrong. “You can nap if you want. I’m taking a shower.”

“Need help?” I offered.

She fixed a questioning gaze upon me. “I thought we weren’t doing that anymore.” She was referring to the decision we’d made at the beginning of the summer to quit fooling around with each other since it was messing with our friendship.

“Hey, I was just offering to help. I mean, there are places that can be difficult to reach on one’s own. I was only thinking of your cleanliness.” I said this with my finest bullshitter’s smile.

“What about Gina?” She pushed her hair back behind her ears.

“What about her? She’s not my girlfriend.”

She scrunched up her nose. “Didn’t you just get laid?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t come.”

“Why not?”

“I dunno.” I sat up. “I just couldn’t.”

She chewed her bottom lip. “Oh, I don’t know.” She sounded like she wanted to.

“Oh, come on. Please, please, please.” I put my hands together in front of me like I was praying and smiled again.

“Oh, fine, you little beggar,” she said in mock exasperation. She spun around and stomped down the hall towards the bathroom. I jumped up and hurried after her.

As she bent over to get the shower going I peeled off my shirt and clambered out of my pants. She turned towards me and shook her head. “You’re incorrigible,” she admonished.

“Whatever.” I grinned.

She looked down at my clothes on the floor, rested her gaze momentarily on my swollen skyward cock, and shook her head at me again. “No underwear today?” She playfully tugged my dick.

“Oh, I left them at Gina’s.” I began to lift her sweater. “I thought I’d leave her a little souvenir.” She raised her arms so I could get her top off. Underneath she had on a plain white front-closing bra.

“Ick,” she muttered as she wiped her hands on her pants. “You still have her dried up gunk on you.”

I looked at my crusty dick and pubes. “Good thing we’re getting into the shower.”

I freed her luscious breasts. They’re 36D’s, if I remember correctly. They were a beautiful pair, indeed. The skin was unbelievably smooth and so pale as to be almost translucent. Blue veins ran just beneath the surface like fine china. They were a little soft with just the beginnings of that womanly hang to them which I find so attractive. Her nipples didn’t stick out very far but were broad and had large aureoles. I leaned over to kiss and briefly suckle each one. She wrapped both hands around my dick and squeezed it roughly. The shower curtain billowed as steam began filling the air.

She let go of my dick and gently pushed me back. “Come on,” she said, “before we run out of hot water.” She climbed out of her pants and blue cotton panties. Her bush was dark and the hair was fine. It was trimmed only a little.

I caressed her ass as she drew aside the shower curtain and we stepped in. She was in front me, closest to the showerhead. My throbbing cock rubbed against her butt as I ran my hands up and down her body. She turned around with a bar of soap in her hand and lathered up my cock and balls. She then began soaping the rest of my body, issuing instructions for me to raise my arms and turn around and whatnot. “You have the hairiest ass in the world,” she commented as she soaped my backside.

“It’s to keep out intruders,” I replied.

She gave me the soap and I worked it all over her body. Instead of having her turn around so I could wash her backside, I pulled her against me and reached around. She grinded herself against me. I think I used half the bar just from working her ass over and over again. “That’s enough,” she laughed and put the soap on the tray. “Now, since you were fucking all night and didn’t come, I know you’re only going to be good for about two seconds, so I’m going to, shall we say, take care of you and you can pay me back later.”

“What?” I protested. “That’s not fair to you.”

“Oh, you’re such a gentleman,” she retorted sarcastically. She maneuvered us so I was closer to and facing the rain of hot water and she was behind me. “Like I said, you can get me back later.” She encouraged me to lean back against her. I felt her ample breasts mashed against my back. “And I assure you, I will hold you to that.”

“I’ll pay back my debt with interest,” I said, tilting my head, turning it, and awkwardly kissing her on the cheek.

“Indeed,” she breathed. She was stroking and squeezing my dick with both hands. It’s weird how I was having such difficulty orgasming with Gina, yet, in Nicole’s skilled hands, I felt like I was going to come in no time. It’s way better being with someone you actually care about, even if they’re “just” a friend. She kissed my neck and shoulders and continued jacking me off. She slipped one of her hands under my ass and massaged the area behind my balls. I was having a hard time keeping my knees from buckling. I was dead tired and the sensations boiling inside me had me on the brink of passing out. I felt drugged and delicious.

“I’m going to come,” I gasped. “Whatever you do, don’t stop until you’re sure I’m done. It’s going to be huge.” Just as I finished saying that the eruption began. The powerful muscles deep in my loins fluttered and the first rush of semen literally poured out of me. The hot load splattered audibly on the shower floor.

“Geez,” she muttered, now with both hands again on my cock and squeezing and jerking it fiercely.

The second wave of spasms hit and this time my flaming red dick shot a thick streamer of cum which blasted through the water and stuck to the shower wall. Another mean rope lasered from my dick and hit the faucet. Yet another wicked white string was spat right into the drain. The edges of my vision went blurry. I was hardly conscious of my surroundings. I had almost all my weight against her as my pelvis thrusted involuntarily and a final glob plopped into the rush of water and slid away. She continued jacking me until the convulsions ceased. My dick danced and twitched in her hands well after the semen stopped.

“My god,” she commented in true awe. She kissed my shoulders and pinched my nipples. “That was almost disgusting.”

I was in no condition to reply. I was incapable of speech just then. A truck could’ve hit me and I would’ve just giggled, which is, in fact, what I started doing. My high was way beyond that imparted by any drug. My emotional disarray from earlier was ejaculated away.

“OK, retard,” she laughed. “Get out. I need to wash my hair. Dry off and go lie down in my bed. I know you just want to sleep now.”

“No, no,” I argued insincerely as she guided me out of the shower.

“Go get some sleep,” she said, smirking and shaking her head.

I grabbed a fluffy gray towel which smelled of fabric softener. Before she closed the curtain, I grabbed her head and kissed her passionately on the mouth. “Thank you.”

“Remember, you owe me,” and she was gone behind the curtain.

I dried myself thoroughly, shuffled into her bedroom, and threw myself onto her big soft bed. I was out immediately.