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I just realized what words were coming out of my mouth, and how surreal it all was. My inhibitions were gone. The neurosis was fueling me. I was talking off the top of my head.

"And you're far prettier. She has a nice face, nice chin...you have deep, very faraway eyes. Brighter eyes. Same if not nicer chin/cheeks. And a better ass, more perky, more tight."

She blushed a little, "Oh my God that's really true. I can tell. So...you'd rather fuck me than her?"

I squirmed a little, "I don't think there's any question. Look at what I risked to do that. I risked ruining my life just to touch you."

I was finding some kind of sick silver lining of truth to my debauchery. Finding something to be proud of through from surprising your daughter with your cockhead is....optimism?

"Well, I tried to understand you, so I looked stuff up. I read on the internet that most sexual perpetrators who commit incest are, like, pedophiles. They do it from when their kids are super young. So I don't think you're that fucked up. You need help, but I think you just cheated on your wife with someone who happened to be your daughter, you know?"

I stayed silent. I wasn't going to let myself off the hook anytime soon. Rationalization is very, very dangerous. I learned that the hard way.

"So....wow. I mean everybody says this modelling stuff is what I'm supposed to do, but even my own dad. Wow. You're, like, the last person on earth who should try to fuck me, and you couldn't control yourself. And you think I'm sexier than Emily. Wow."

I did, and you would too. She was from another planet. "I think you dance better too."

She smiled again, "Really?"

I shrugged, "I didn't become an incest fan until you did that move."

She outright laughed, "God that's so fucked up, incest fan," I tried to smile with her, but my heart broke a little that something so absurd gave her a rise and a giggle. Did anything phase kids from her generation?

"OK, this is the other thing I wanted to do, uhm...." she put her hands out and sort of prepared herself, "With me just being me, look at me sexually."

We made eye contact, and my eyes roamed up and down.

"I kind of want to know what my teachers and my friend's dads think when they look at me. Because, I know I can fuck them, and maybe I can get things from them, but I'm not sure if they know what they're doing or if they're thinking about me."

"They are, " I said. It was like asking if the sky wasn't blue. "If I can say something, uhm. I'm being real here. The whole thing adults say about getting good grades and trying hard at school? That's the plan people lay out for the average kids, and the smart kids. Then you've got athletes, maybe a computer whiz, maybe a model," I motioned to her with my hand, "Or a model/actress...I mean, it's not all a lie. Being educated can help you a lot in life, and keeps you safe and on track. But you're not one of them. Your looks...those dads/teachers know they'll see maybe two or three women like you in their lifetime. So will most other men. One of those guys will be rich, and a guy you can control..."

"Like Kyle..." she interjected.

"Well no, he will never be rich..."

She laughed. It made me feel good that she knew he wasn't up to her standards.

"Anyways..." I said, wanting to go on.

"There's been a lot of guys besides Kyle."

She seemed to think it was a secret worth protecting.

"Oh. How many?"

She sort of squirmed, "Like, fifteen. Twenty. I guess...sixteen or twenty-one, with, ya know..."

I tried to seem unphased. It was another generational thing...I guess. I moved forward, wanting to skip the gory details. And to stop myself from asking how the hell she didn't know the exact number.

"Like I was saying...you can take your own route. You can marry a rich man, easily. You can make your own money intimidating people with how you look. You can make money modelling, you can sleep with your professors to get straight A's, sleep with your landlord to get the rent That isn't the average girl, even if so many think they have what it takes. You're it, you're the 'it' girl. And I've known that about you for years, and so has your mom. We see it in how people interact with you."

"But you never wanted to fuck me?"

My brow jerked as I yelled "No!" For a moment my pervert side totally receded and I was a father again. Maybe all I wanted this entire time was a little emotional honesty with my daughter. Well, no, I wanted to suck on her tits and cum inside her while she did a dance move that would make a stripper jealous. I shouldn't romanticize anything.

"Never for one second. Never. It was seeing you dance, it turned me into somebody else. And now I have to go my whole life knowing I practically raped my daughter."

She shook her head, "You didn't rape me. I kind of hung that over your head so you'd feel guilty, I shouldn't have done that. The second you walked in the living room, I knew you were there, I felt your presence. It couldn't have been anyone else, I knew it was you. And in the moment, I liked that you were watching me dance. I didn't know if you were waiting to tap me on the shoulder to yell at me, but it didn't matter, because it felt good to have a man look over me when I was being...you know, free. I could have opened my eyes just then and embarrassed us both, but I didn't. When you made your little move, I could have hit you in the balls and shoved you off. I didn't. I had my chance, and I was horny. I'm almost glad I barely had time to react. It was way, way, way too strong of a come-on, but...I was in control."

I didn't know if she was telling herself that, or if it was true. It did make me feel better.

I continued, "Anyways...listen. In today's world, you can use sex as a weapon. Sure, I'd like to see you run off and marry a guy and wait to make love until you're married, all the while being a dynamo in your career, that's a comforting fantasy. But for a woman who looks the way you do, it just isn't as hard to get what you want. If you're safe, and you're smart, sex is something you can hold in your back pocket. Try to be a smart person and work hard for what you want, but if you need to use it, do it. Other women will, so you have to be willing to go the distance if you deeply, truly want something. It's just how the real world works."

I wasn't sure if I'd given the most candid or simply the worst advice a father can give his daughter. She shook her head, "And yet I have to sit through assemblies at school about abstinence and staying true to yourself."

I sighed, "I wish that were all true. In a perfect world it would be."

She nodded, "OK, so back to the start, let me do this. Drop your towel."

She motioned to me and I hesitated. "Come on big boy, no more secrets, drop the towel. Or I tell mom."

She laughed a little, but I felt a sinking feeling. Yup, she was in control alright. I thought if it was worth it to put my cock in her as she gyrated in exchange for her lifetime control over me. Yup, it was. I did as she asked.

"OK, so we're at about flaccid right now. Cool, OK now me..."

She took her T-shirt off and her pajama pants. As her shirt went over her head, I saw a black lace bra and panties. The bra barely contained her chest. Her legs were fresh shaven and silky smooth. I remembered that I never had my chance to run my hands across them during our first session.

She laid back into the sauna bench, "Don't be romantic or weird, just be dirty and truthful. Where do your eyes go?"

I licked my lips and thought, "The little patch of tiny blond hairs between your chest and your tummy. Then to, uhm, between your legs."

She smiled, "OK cool, do I look better when I do this pose?"

Rising up, she put her hands down and thrust her ass out towards me.

"No," I replied, honestly. She turned around and leaned against the bench. "Now?" she asked.

I shook my head, "The way you were. You being you. That's when you look your best. You don't have to fake any of it. Like I said, you're not one of those types of girls."

She went back to laying naturally against the bench. Her tummy was bunched up the littlest bit, while she had one leg flexed with her knee in the air, the other leg resting over the bench as her foot dangled.

"Where did your eyes go just then?"

I sighed. I didn't know if being truthful would make me sound nuts, but she wanted to hear it.

"To your tummy."

I felt I had to justify myself. What I said next felt like it was coming out of someone else's mouth.

"I have a fantasy, not all guys do, but I do, that when I see a girl with flat abs that it's my job to put a baby in her. And uhm, I had that with your mom years ago. Making her belly 'big' was my big, I dunno, goal. Then it's back to your crotch. I want to step in between your legs and run my cock over your pussy."

I was about half erect. She noticed and kind of sighed at my words.

"You came in me last week. I'm not on the pill."

I gulped. I didn't know if it was audible.

"I liked the way it felt," she said, "I liked knowing that my dad could have put his baby in me. It's sick and it's fucked up."

I felt a slow dread run through me, "Did you take the morning after pill?"

She smiled, "Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Maybe I found the porn folder on your computer."

Oh, wow. It was about a hundred videos of young blonde girls getting 'accidental creampies.'

"Maybe I liked the way the risk felt. Do you like the way this feels? Not knowing if I'm pregnant?"

I don't know where she learned to talk dirty, but she apparently inherited my fetish for unprotected sex.

Up came the honesty, "Yes."

She put her pinky in her mouth and smiled, "I bet you want to put your cum in me again. What would you do if I let you move from that spot?"

My dick was openly hard and she was staring at it. "I'd move in between your legs."

"Hmmm...good to know. This is so fun, you're like my big-dicked Ken doll."

Everything was quiet. She let me stand there, ogling her. Her bra rose and fell as she breathed. Some women look better in lingerie than they did naked. My daughter looked good in both states of dress.

"You can come here and you can stand between my legs. But you can't say anything or touch me unless I ask you something."

I shook my head, "That's a bad idea. Let's just talk."

She sighed, "You owe me. Rapist."

Defeated, I walked forward and did as she said. My cock was at the same level as her mouth. Unlike my blind lust before, I had real trepidation about repeating this again. She was my daughter, and I had made an awful mistake.

"You told me what you thought of me. I get to tell you now," she said. She spoke slowly, in halting words, soaking in our newly close proximity. "I think you look kind of old in the face, but you have nice eyes. I notice a lot of things about you now that I didn't before last week. Like your smile, and your hair. I like your smell now, I liked it before but now I want to smell it for different reasons."

She looked me over, "Your body is OK. A lot of older guys look gross, but you don't have a gut and I like all your chest hair. Girls say they don't like hairy guys, but they do. And I wish you would shave your pubic hair."

It took her a bit of time, but she rested on her elbows and looked at my cockhead.

"I know your cock is gross looking, I know it in my mind. But...I know what it can do to me, and I know I can have it as much as I want. I feel really warm and kind of crazy when I think that you live with me, and all it takes to start feeling good is taking our pants off and putting...that...in me. I feel like I would rather do that more than anything else, and it's been bugging the shit out of me."

She sort of squirmed, "And I know I'm not supposed to touch it. But I want to. And I have to fight not to. Your hands are great too. It's actually good that they're older, I like the way they look weathered. And it felt good when you held me, like I was really safe. It made me feel less weird once we got going, and I want you to hold me like that again."

Her confessions were turning me on. I don't think I'd ever had a more frank discussion with another human being before.

"Don't say it, but think about what you'd do to me next. Don't go all the way, just the first thing you would do if you wanted to be inside me again. The thing all the other men in the world want to do when they see me, like this. Or even if I was fully clothed. The first thing."

I already had it in my head.

"Do you have it?"

"Mmmhmmm," I grunted in reply.

She smiled, sort of presenting herself to me.

"Do it."

In one motion, I reached forward and ripped the front of her bra clean off. It was an old parlor trick I learned in my frat days. She was shocked and gasped in response, cooing. Her breasts fell to the side slowly as the tension of the bra gave way. One of her nipples escaped and my eyes darted to it. For a time, she had her eyes closed, and looked vulnerable as a dead leaf. I wanted to tear into her.

"Jesus, you fucking animal, that was a $30 bra!" she was breathing heavily, her eyes a little hazy, "I don't care, that was fucking hot. Your bicep got all big."

I just stood above her, hoping she wouldn't let me continue.

"Move back for a sec."

I complied. She rose up, her tits dangling as she stood. She leaned into me, letting my cock press against her panties. Without breaking eye contact, she flipped the switch on the sauna and shut the glass door.

"Lay down."

I did as she said, and I could feel the heat start to rush from the coals. She straddled me, still wearing panties.

"Aaahh, so happy we're OK now," she cooed, rubbing my cock against her, "I was afraid you'd act like a dick and we couldn't hang out like this. But you've been cool."

I felt her moist heat even as the sauna rose to an insane temperature. No matter how I had acted in the past, I didn't want to become addicted to sex with my daughter. Even if this felt like a "good" consequence, I could see a million reasons why it was all very, very bad. Apparently she did as well.

"Let's go over the reasons why I shouldn't put this inside me." She said, pressing her hand into my cock so the length rested against her crotch as she rubbed against me. She looked me dead in the eye.

"Sex with my dad is wrong," she said smiling, my cock a few inches from her pussy, "Sex with my dad is wrong."

Her body quivered and she sort of smiled, "Let's see what else? It would ruin mom and break her heart if she ever found out. But she won't. I could get addicted to this and not seek out other boys, who are supposed to court me, and seduce me, and marry me, all because of how I look. I know I don't give a shit about any of that. Hmmmm, whaatt eellseee..."

She was having trouble speaking. Something immense was welling up inside her,

"I could get pregnant and fuck up royally. Not take any birth control, not get an abortion. Give birth to some Kentucky trailer-looking retard baby, screw my body and brain up forever by giving birth to paw-paw's baby. Hmmm...But it's not the 1950s so we're good there. Ooohhhh..."

A shaking pelvis ground into the base of my cock. It belonged to a girl whom I teached bike riding to at the age of 10. Now she was riding me, and I felt terrible about it.

"The psychological effects, surely there will be some. They'd keep me from empathizing with normal people who don't get off on any old cock...the ones who don't look at their dads like human dildos, but hey...some dads beat their kids. Some dads burn them with cigarettes when their infants...could be worse..."

Her eyes found mine again.

"Rip the panties off."

With two hands I reached forward and ripped the front in half with little effort. She closed her eyes and gasped again, loving the display as I ripped apart the lace. When her hips moved forward, the head of my dick was at her entrance. She stayed in that position for awhile and sort of gyrated on it. I watched her tits gently sway as she did so, and felt more turned on. Even if I felt some dread, I was a red-blooded man and wanted to thrust forward. She pulled away.

"What if I fall in love with you?" she asked, continuing, "Ohmigod, what if I have feelings for you? And I get attached? To my own dad..." she sort of backed off. I hoped her senses were coming to her, "What if this is stockholm syndrome? I mean...can I be with other men? Am I gonna do drugs the rest of my life to deal with these feelings? Am I already fucked up...how do you even know if you're fucked up..."

Her mound floated up above my cock again. So far we'd been all about signs and indulging in what we wanted from each other...in forty-five years I'd learned at least something about the complexities of women. I think she was telling me something. The sauna was on full blast and a bead of sweat dripped off her rock-hard hip bone and onto my balls. Her hair was was matted and wet, with lengths of it stuck to her forehead.

"I mean, am I going to fuck you if I want something? What if I want to go to Europe and you won't let me, or give me the money? Oh gosh I just wish I..."

I grabbed her hand and placed it on the base of my cock. My other hand pressed down, hard, on her hip, pushing her towards me yet giving her enough slack to ensure I wasn't the one that crossed the line.

"Shut up and do it. Or get up and leave."

I nestled the tip in her entrance. I gambled correctly and she gave me a big smile. Her hand reached and tousled my hair.

"That's my dad."

She rested her hand on her hip, above mine, and lowered herself down. She shuddered as it pressed into her, and somehow her body felt hotter than the surrounding sauna.

"I wanna do just the tip. That's safe, and you're not cheating on mom."

I could tell from her eyes this was one of her games.

"It feels good though," I said, "Let's go a bit further."

"No, don't, I'm not on the pill."

"I promise I won't cum in you...just a little bit, think of how good it will feel."

"No, stop, this is wrong."

I slowed myself in. Her hands rested on my pecs and she let out an audible cry of pain and joy. Watching her lower onto my shaft was like watching a mechanic ease a car down from a hydraulic stand.

"Ok, ok, but just a little bit," she said, "Just a few pumps."

My God, she was such a little demon. Her pussy lips sucked against me as she rose up and down, slowly finding her sweet spot. She started grinding and moving towards her orgasm. I was afraid to keep up the dirty talk, for fear of not knowing what she wanted. The girl was high on mind games.

"You're my dad, this has to stop," she said as she let the first orgasm take her over. She cried out and I grabbed her sweaty tit. I flicked it with my thumb as I took my hand away and it jostled too and fro, beads of water falling around the nipple. It was a sight to behold.

"I should stop now, you're going to cum."

She started pulling off me, and I saw my cue. I grabbed her hips and forced her back down.

"No! Please!" she gasped, desperately, playing the role, "You're going to cum!"

I pressed into her, forcing her down. She leaned forward and grabbed onto a beam of wood over my head. Her breasts hung right in front of my face.

"Let me go you fucking pervert. You said just the tip!"

I put her nipple in my mouth and sucked. I was blessed to have them in my face again. Dripping with sweat, swinging as she fucked me.

"I don't want a baby...no, please..."

She started to cum again, but I couldn't hold back. I didn't make the same mistake twice, putting my cock to the hilt inside her as I came. She cried out at the sudden rush into her crammed pussy.

"No...no protection...no...."

I pushed her tits together and she feigned sadness. The same way she lit up after performing a scene for us from her seventh-grade play, she changed modes and smiled at me.