BOOK 2 - Viktoria Ch. 08

Scrambling with none of his usual assassin-trained grace, he managed to get his legs and feet out of the way before the door slammed shut. Grateful he had almost no belongings for use as ammunition, Jael lay on the floor.

Viktoria hadn't said a word to him after they'd entered the house. Since she'd snapped him out of his downward self-pity spiral by telling him he could walk into the sun, he'd been concentrating hard on feeling nothing so she didn't suffer with him. But she had suffered all the same, only not knowing why. She'd headed straight for Selene's tower, and her departure left an emptiness in him. He was surprised to find empty felt worse than nothing.

He tried to sort out his memories of bonding her to him. He had thought he needed to hurry. She'd been dressed wrong, and he thought she wasn't real. She'd said to feed, and he'd bonded with her. She could have stopped him, he'd expected her to. Another way the mage could torture him, letting him almost have her and taking her away. But she hadn't stopped him, and he hadn't asked her if she wanted him, or explained what it all meant.

Bonding with his Draga, and opening himself to a rush of over three thousand years of emotions crashing down on him at once, while his brain and all his most painful memories were scrambled by spider venom, then waking up in a whole new world, and underworld, and having his pain taken away in such a short time had left his mind spinning. It had been an emotional overload and he'd shut down to try and process it.

And there were more practical matters. How would it work between them? He'd never heard of Draga-divorce. That bond, once formed, was it.

When the swan dropped them off, he'd seen more of Viktoria's house while she'd been releasing the spiders into the forest on her property. Cute , fuzzy and wearing socks or not, he wasn't ready to see a spider.

As he wandered through her house he realized she had so... much. Kitchen appliances, furniture, knickknacks, enough electronics Stryx should be banned, paintings, rugs, lamps, an inordinate number of pillows. And clothes.

The woman needed an entire house just for her clothes. He lived in a monk's cell.

She had an enormous family. He was responsible for the death of his.

She was a social creature, he'd seen that watching her at the gallery. He was a creature of solitude.

She was shadow. He was darkness.

He hadn't appreciated the difference when she'd laughed at his efforts to hide from her in shadows, but he knew what it meant now.

There was still a hollow place inside him where his swords used to live. His daughter hadn't wanted to die by a mage spell, killed herself with the swords she'd infused with her magic to avoid that fate. But in the end, he hadn't been able to prevent her burning in blue mage fire, even after she was dead.

Thinking about his wife, his daughter, and all the other people he'd failed over the years no longer hurt. There was an ache, and he missed them, but his memories were settling, and reality was becoming more solid. When he remembered his daughter's death now he felt sadness, but no pain, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. Did he deserve the memories without the pain that went with them? He didn't think so, and that's what he was trying to keep from Viktoria above all.

He didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until she came to him, a bright beacon in a black world.

"I've been waiting forever for you to go to sleep." Viktoria's sister Dream crossed her arms, tapped a foot, and glared at him.

"I—"

Dream held a finger to her lips. "You don't get to talk. Viktoria has worked very hard, but she probably hasn't told you anything about what you almost cost her, and us. And you're being so mean!"

"What I—"

"Hush! It's not your turn to talk yet!"

Jael held his hands up and stopped talking.

"Our mother keeps us here in Pohjola because she doesn't trust the world outside. We may have gotten into some trouble once or twice on our own. Kidnappings and what not." Memory waved a hand to dismiss the ludicrous idea. "She wants to keep us safe, but Shadow wanted to be free. So, it took a long time, but she talked mother into a deal. If she could live in the human world for a thousand and one years and not ask for help, or be rescued even once during that time, Shadow could live in the human world for good. And if she did it, Mother would let the rest of us try, too."

"That's why she wouldn't let—" He blinked. "Victoria is over a thousand years old?"

"Ha!" Dream giggled. "I thought you were smart, and you're already in plenty of trouble." She smirked and crossed her arms. "But if that's what you took away from what I said, go on, ask me how old Shadow is."

Jael recognized the trap when saw it. He held his thumb and index finger together and made a zipping motion across his lips.

"Shadow had to figure out everything by herself, including how to fight, and she had to keep everyone away from her, because if she let someone close and even asked them to help to carry her groceries, she would have lost her chance to be free."

"But that's ridiculous, people help each other with little things like that all the time."

Dream shook her head. "Maybe so, but there were no restrictions or limitations placed on what she could ask for help for. Mother plays word games, so Shadow couldn't ask for or accept help from anyone to do anything. She made sure to go out of her way to tell people she didn't want their help. And when people started getting close to her she left so she didn't come to rely on anyone.

"You seem to like talking even when you say you won't, so we'll do this instead. This is what Shadow dreamed after you left her house the first night."

Two movie theater seats emerged from the floor. One scooped him up and Dream sat in the other. A white screen unfurled and a montage of images played. Dream showed him the future Viktoria wanted for them, and the more salacious things she wanted to do with him.

His eyes widened and he slid down in his seat. He wanted the same things, but for his Draga's sister to be showing him this... As the images continued, Jael covered Dream's eyes with a hand.

She giggled and pushed him away. "I didn't know vampires could turn so red! Don't worry. I'm totally here to judge you, but not about... that. I've seen dreams Viktoria hasn't even had yet." She winked. "The night the mage hurt you, we found you, and Mother came. This is what happened."

"You didn't save everyone." Louhi nudged Jael's still body with her foot. "And what about consorting with this... cursed one?"

"He's different."

"The number of times I've heard you girls say that before." Louhi sighed. "I thought you were smarter than this, Shadow."

"He is different."

"Shall I judge him? Set him a task to see if he's worthy?"

"You can't! The mage did something to him. He's not in any shape to be judged about anything right now." Viktoria brushed hair back from Jael's forehead. "I can come back to him when he's well. You'll see how different he is then."

Louhi studied Jael, reaching out a hand to cradle his face. She closed her eyes and muttered under her breath. She opened her eyes. "I can help him. If you ask for it."

"You're being cruel, Mother."

"I am offering you a choice. What was our agreement?"

"If I live in the human world for a thousand and one years without asking for help, or being rescued, I don't have to return to Pohjola, except for when I choose to, and I am free to leave anytime without interference. If I succeed, you will allow my sisters the same challenge."

"And how long has it been?"

"You know how long it's been."

"How long has it been, Shadow?"

Viktoria closed her eyes and sighed. "One thousand years, eleven months, twenty eight days."

"He won't last two days like this. He's one of the cursed, so he won't die, but his mind will be lost. If you want me to save him, you must ask for help and return to Pohjola. Or you can stay here and win the challenge in two days. Your freedom or his mind. Choose, Shadow."

"Please help him. I'll return to Pohjola." She pressed a kiss to Jael's lips. "I'm sorry, Lurky. If I had known things were going to turn out like this, I would have let you bite me when we met. I would have been your Draga, even for one day."

"She chose you, you big galoot. You believed all the nightmares. But it's easy to believe in nightmares. Dreams are so much better, because they're what can happen, if you want. With you I don't even have to work! All you have to do is find my sister." She waved an arm and the white screen disappeared. The chair tipped him onto the floor and vanished. "I asked you once before, and now I'm asking you again, what are your intentions with my sister? Are you going to live in your nightmare past or are you going to make her dreams come true?"

Selene had been right. He should have paid attention to Viktoria's words. She'd never said she didn't want him, his help or his protection. She'd said she couldn't accept those things. But now she could. Her words rang in his ears. I would have been your Draga even for one day. She'd chosen him. She wanted him even after all she'd seen in his memories. Another memory became a reality. When she'd told him to feed, she'd also said I want to be your Draga. He'd taken everything she offered and shut her out. "I—"

Dream jabbed a finger in Jael's face. "I should tell you, if there has to be another intervention, Memory will come. And she's not as nice as me."

Jael grinned. "Can I talk now?"

She nodded.

"My intentions are to find your sister and do as many of those things you just showed me in that movie immediately."

Dream beamed at him and clapped her hands. "Do you want to see more? I can show you all of them."

"No!" Jael blurted. "No, I got the idea. The rest I think we can figure out together."

"Go find my sister, Lurky."

"And tell her I love her?"

"Eeew." Dream wrinkled her nose. "No. Stupid men tell us that all the time. Just love her." She kissed his cheek and disappeared.

He woke to find himself laying on the floor in his room. Now that he wasn't fighting it, what Viktoria felt came through their bond. She was strygoi, and she was up to mischief and secrets. He thought he'd dodged that bullet since she was already so powerful, but now he was looking forward to seeing if she got wings or a sword in her silver form.

He felt a twinge at the thought of his swords, but put it aside. It was time to stop worrying about fighting mages, and start worrying about fighting for his Draga. He had some arrangements to make.

Jael stood and reached for the door. He jerked his hand back and picked out the large splinter. "I need to get out so I can do something for Viktoria." The door remained closed. "I'm sorry I upset her. I'll try to never do it again." The door gave no response. "Please?" The door opened.

Stalking through the house he came to the realization he didn't know where any of the 'stuff' was kept. Maybe everyone already had everything they wanted in their rooms. Well, then, he'd have to go out.

Heading down to the garage he stopped as the door connecting it to the house opened and Ciaran came in.

"Ciaran, I need some things for my room."

"You do?" Ciaran placed his palm on Jael's forehead. "You don't feel like you're running a fever. Did Hell freeze over?"

Jael swiped Ciaran's hand off his head, and wanted to wipe that smirk off his face too, but refrained. Ember would toss him through a wall if he hurt Ciaran. "You tell me. You're the one dressed like you've just come from an Antarctic expedition."

Ciaran laughed. "Let's just say I have a new appreciation for the great outdoors and I like eating sandwiches outside now. But it's cold enough if you're only half-vampire." He took off his parka and hung it up. "What do you need for your room?"