Born Again Virgin

Listen, I definitely know where my communion bread is buttered.

Fifteen clit stroking days later, I sent one of my kids out with the shopping list for {unbeknownst to her}, my new collection of fuck toys. And I had a logical reason for each and every item on the list just in case she asked. She came back with them all: bananas {to help maintain my potassium levels in the normal range}, carrots {for the carotene benefits to keep my eyes bright and healthy}, Flexi straws {to use in my juice while I'm laying on the sofa so as not to spill anything}, two giant pencils from the dollar store {so I could smooth over the bitter disappointment of both grandsons coping with their loss of right to claim the now defunct Gucci coochie bag}, and last, but not least- a gallon of Breyer's butter pecan ice cream because... Nooooooo... because I wanted to eat it, silly!

Well, there wasone slight delay; this one little snag – besides the one my belly button had gotten caught up in at the doctor's office. I opened the shopping bag and found my daughter had bought, as she said she did, the bag of carrots. Only they were the fingerling style; those two inch salad fixin's kind that are short, stumpy, and fixin' to be too dangerous for me to use, then lose somewhere in the threaded maze. I couldn't think of a way to justify why I wouldn't eat them knowing I'd still get the benefits of the carotene for sparkling eyes, so I decided that for the next few days I would go on a brand new health kick - a butter pecan ice cream and carrot diet, and then send her out again for the much needed for pseudo sex, bag of carrotsticks. Oh, and another gallon of butter pecan ice cream.

May as well get all of my cravings filled, right?

******

I waited until late that night before getting the banana of vaginal choice and raiding the freezer for the Breyer's. I laid out on the coffee table my other new tools of the task; the straws and the giant pencils, while I gingerly ate my bowl of ice cream watching – you guessed it – another run of The Matrix.

After the butter pecan glomming fest, I stretched out on the sofa and beneath the blanket, commenced to strip off my pajama bottoms. Reaching over, I picked up a straw and with the flexible end pointing to Wanton's World, I took a deep breath and slowly maneuvered my bendable anorexic Gumby cock into my pussy. Steering it like the joy stick on a remote controlled car, I managed to get it past the first speed bump of stitches and then wisely put it into neutral. I wriggled it around in me and realized Gumby had room all around his striped plastic emaciated self to actually move.{Hallelujah, Saint Mom!} Satisfied that I had managed to get through the first test without hanging up the straw on anything, I just as carefully withdrew it and readied myself for the pencil of perverted pleasure test.

I held up the two pencils my daughter had bought and carefully examined them to make sure that there were no splintered pieces {we won't continue with that train of thought} and once I found both to be smooth, I then compared the bulbous cock head shaped erasers. Of course, the larger of the two won out in my shameless, desperate desire to emanate virtual feel of the real deal. I placed the losing pencil down on the coffee table and repositioned myself for the next inanimate invasion. As before with the flexi straw, the pencil glided in with room to spare all around, but with one added bonus. The eraser was touching the narrowed walls of my vagina and it readydid feel sensuously arousing! It felt a lot like a firm and real; not rubber circumcised cock head. Mmmmmmmm! It was either that or my nipples and clit were doing push ups just for the hell of it. I felt my juices starting to coat the parts of the pencil that were in me, so before too long I decided to pull it out and go for the gusto {and a climax} with the banana.

I carefully peeled the skin away and bit off the tip of one end; then tapered it smooth with my mouth. Satisfied with its esthetically erotic though jaundiced appearance, I introduced it to its uncaring, color blind date. I had about half the length of the banana easing its way into my pussy when suddenly, my cell phone rang. Because it was on the far end of the coffee table, I just naturally sat up and reached waaaaay over to answer it.

Just naturally. Sat up. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over.

Now tell me... how fucking stupid was that???

I knew how fucking stupid it was when I felt the squish between my legs and the banana half that was in my hand just a moment before emancipate and roll off to the floor. My greeting to my caller was a gasp followed by, "It's still stuck in me!"

It didn't shock or frighten or revolt the person on the other end to hear me wailing like that. Simply because he had used the phrase in the same tone of voice many times before.

It was pup, my submissive, calling to see how his Domme was feeling.

"Goddess, are you alright? What's stuck in..." His voice seemed very distant; fading away to... nothing. Why the hell did it seem like he was calling from Argentina?

Because he was calling from Argentina -my Argentina.

In my panic, I had tried to reach into my cunt with the same hand that held my cell phone. Realizing the cell snafu too late, I switched the phone to my left hand and brought the phone and pup...and a glob of mashed banana up to my ear.

While trying to explain my perverted predicament to him through a phone that was now fruit cemented to my hair, I stood up on the sofa and leaning back with my head against the wall, I spread eagled in a vertical attempt to dislodge the half banana from its new skin. I nervously stuck the size five guitar finger into my vagina as immediately it sunk three knuckles deep into banana puree. It felt all around inside of me like I had used a cookie press to fill a cannoli tube. As I scooped my potassium rich contents out of me with my finger, it took on the appearance of yellow gravel under my nail. I continued dumping the quarry of banana chunks piece by tiny gravel piece onto a napkin as I also began confessing my virgin vanquishing tests to my submissive.

"I needed to do this, pup! I've been sitting here for over three weeks knowing that I woke up from the surgery a born again virgin!! It's like living in a Goddess damn twilight zone!!!" I kept excavating as I climbed off the sofa and scurried my fruit filled twat over to the bathroom and to the hand held shower that was my last resort to banana exodus.

"You've become a virgin again, Goddess?" He was asking with a hint of something other than disappointment in his voice. Maybe? Nah. Forget it, Laura. That was wishful thinking on my part. I had to be hearing it all wrong through my banana encrusted ear.

Standing in the bathtub now; my pajama top laden with fruit stains to coordinate with the dried banana covering my cell phone in my hand and in my hair, I ran the water full force until it was a comfortable temperature. Between telling pup all about the successful attempts at de-virginizing myself up until this last test disaster, I took the hand held shower off the faucet and looked at the various settings. In my "here's your hat, what's your hurry" desire to rid my cunt of its unwanted guest, I set the dial to 'rapid pulse' and placed it near the opening to my now under a banana mud slide Wanton's World.

That was my second colossal cunt mistake of the night.

I was unaware until that very Morpheus moment the 'rapid pulse' setting, when used on your genitals, translates to 'tsunami' as the tidal wave of at least a dozen jets of water crashed against my clit and stunned it numb.

"What was that?!?!? Goddess? Please answer me! I thought I heard something weird"...

I had tried to mute my scream of twat torpedoed shock with a hand towel clenched between my teeth as I dropped the shower head into the bath tub and grabbed the towel bar for my shaken, immoral support. Then... it happened.

I had just heard something too - besides the pup's cry of concern in my phone held ear. But it was through my other ear that I had heard the sound. I listened; actually listened to the pieces of banana mush succumb to the flash flood and float out of me like drowned passengers from the Titanic. I watched in mesmerized relief as the pieces splattered in yellow playdough raindrops onto the bathtub floor.

"I'm okay, pup. I... I think." I stammered; breathless. "Just keep talking because right now I can't."

Between the heart palpitations and clit paralysis, I managed to reset the dial to 'gentle', turned the faucet flow to half the water stream - and this time kept it at a safe distance and indirectly pointing at my pussy. Meanwhile, pup filled my ear with some just as surprising, but very welcomed erotic ideas.

"Goddess, permit me to say this? I think it's really sexy that you're a virgin again; really sexy! Perhaps you will command your slave to help you attain your desire of deflowered status? I will do anything for that honor, Goddess. Anything."

I thought that wide open invitation through as I evacuated the last of the banana from my not anywhere near as wide open vagina. I had never thought that being a virgin for the second time around could be at all exciting - especially to a submissive. But then again, pup wasn't justany submissive. He was my kinky pup.

I now watched the mucky mess slide down the drain as I turned the faucet off and towel dried my not- in- a –good- way throbbing pussy. Obviously after this scare, the carrot test was cancelled and the next test would be all on pup. It would involve whips and gags and plugs and Goddess knows what else – virgin Goddess knows what else, that is. I was beginning to think this surgical 'complication' may not have been such a tragedy after all.

*******

The following Friday evening would turn out to be the 'do and do me' night for both pup and me. For pup, it would be the 'do' succeed in weathering my latest bondage and discipline lessons; then be rewarded for his trust and tenacity with the opportunity to live out his newest fantasy. And for me, it was the hopes that my devoted submissive would successfully 'do me' and make my born again virgin condition just a bad dream of a very bad joke. Father Time and Mother Nature would just have to go and find themselves another lottery winner now. In any case, by the end of this night or another real soon, I knew the last laugh would be on them.

As I was heading out for the very special scening, my daughter caught me at the door.

"Hey Mom! I found only one of the giant pencils that you had me buy for the boys. It was sitting on the coffee table, but the other one wasn't. And they're coming up for the weekend. Do you have any idea where it went to?"

Of course I did. After I had used it in Wanton's World test # 2, it was wrapped in aluminum foil and thrown in the trash compactor and by now was laying in the landfill thirty miles away.

"Don't worry about it, Erin" I said, skirting around the issue very smoothly. "If they were willing to share the catheter bag, they'll be willing to share the one pencil."

Smiling, I kissed her goodbye telling her I was going out with a group of friends and would be back in a few hours. I then got into my car and headed for my Domme de-virginizing destiny. I had a real good feeling that my boomerang virginity was going to end that night. Evidently, so did pup. When I got to our room, he was already there naked, kneeling and head bowed. And a set of medical sounds was sitting on the bed ready and waiting for my Dr. Domme/ puppy patient pleasure. Until that Matrix minute, I never knew he was that determined to earn the Dominatrix deflowering privilege. And I never knew until that very same minute that I would have allowed him the chance to take it anyway. But what a submissive doesn't know won't hurt him or his Goddess. Besides, I really enjoyed playing doctor and giving an internal to someone else for a change. But the best surprise was still to come as we found out a little later that night. Together, we rediscovered by slow, but steady fact Walt Disney's Fantasyland has nothing over mine. AMEN TO THAT, Saint Mom!!!

And just in case you were wondering... I did manage to get some of my novel researched and the book actually started. Took some doing, but my medical leave goal had been accomplished. I even managed to pen a few poems in- between.

Oh, and one other thing was written.

This story... with a "and she lived happily never again a virgin" ending. VERY happily.