Born Evil Ch. 01bysmudgebucket©
I know what you all think of me. I know that you're repulsed by what I've done. I don't give a damn about that. I don't care what any of you think.
I know that by now my story has been in every newspaper in the country and some halfway around the world. I can see the headlines now: 'Female Serial Killer Caught." Or maybe it reads "Young Girl Accused Of Multiple Murders." Whatever.
In another couple of weeks the questions will start. How could this have happened? What turned this girl into what she was? What was she? You people know the drill, we've seen it all before.
They tell me now that I'm not the first. They made a movie out of the life of the other one. What was her name...? The actress that played her won the Oscar or so they say. Personally I never heard of her until I got in here. Who cares?
Listen to me. My cellmate here says she knows somebody who can get this tape out of this place I'm in and post it on the Internet somewhere. Maybe they can or maybe no one will ever hear or read this. It's all the same to me. It's just the idea that maybe, just maybe some young woman somewhere, whose life is in the toilet like mine was, will find some inspiration in what I've done and continue in my path. Sort of like that Hannibal character in the movie. He had fans didn't he? Anyways here goes.
I won't bore you with any of that unhappy childhood crap or phony psychoanalysis shit. My childhood was unremarkable for the most part. I was lonely most of the time and my parents had no clue what to do with a precocious lonely girl. I didn't like most of the kids I went to school with and they seemed to feel the same toward me. School itself was boring and I passed through basically unnoticed by anyone.
I was a senior and had just turned eighteen years old and two events stand out to me. The first one was a fight between two girls in the school cafeteria. Two girls started arguing about something or other, probably some boy, and the next thing you know they were rolling around on the floor scratching and biting and clawing at each other. This happened just a few feet from where I was sitting so I had a perfect view of the whole thing.
Watching them I remember that the strangest thing happened. I felt my breathing quicken and I felt as if the blood had rushed to my head. A tingling feeling between my legs started and I had a desire to drop my hand down there and slip it inside of my panties. My god, was I getting sexually aroused?
The girls stopped rolling at the foot of my table with one girl on top of the other. She pinned the other girl firmly to the bottom with one hand and with the other hand she started slapping and punching the face of the other girl. She got maybe five or six punches in before some teachers rushed in and broke it up.
I remember how each punch or slap that girl landed raised my excitement level. It was as if it were I punching that girl. I heard myself whispering under my breath, "Hit her again, harder this time. Hurt that bitch."
Afterwards I couldn't explain to myself what had happened to me. I was no stranger to sexual arousal. Hell, I was eighteen years old and despite my loneliness had managed to find out what sex was all about, from a distance of course. But this feeling had been sooo intense compared to anything I had ever felt before. I didn't even know those two girls but they had awoken in me feelings of which I had previously been totally unaware.
The second event that stands out was that I began to be molested by one of my teachers. I needed an extra credit to graduate and so against all odds I joined the yearbook committee. If you stayed on all semester you got a credit for the work you did. I did typing chores and tried to avoid getting to know anyone too well, a task at which I excelled.
Toward the end of the semester there was a lot of typing to do so our yearbook advisor Miss Johnson suggested we both say late and she would help me catch up. After about five o'clock it seemed like we had the whole school to ourselves. Miss Johnson called me into her office and asked me to sit down next to her on the small loveseat opposite her desk.
After some small talk she told me that she was concerned about me because she had noticed how I seemed to have no friends and how she knew how hard high school could be for girls who were 'different'. Putting her arm around me she told me to relax and tell her if there was anything she could do to help me. Her hands began lightly caressing my hair and she began whispering to me to relax and let her help me.
Despite my misgivings I let her caress me and it was not long before her hands found my breasts and I felt her tongue lightly nibble my ear lobe. I tried halfheartedly to pull away but she pulled me back quite forcefully and instructed me to "Stay sweetie. I really need to help you." Her hand slipped under my skirt and pulled my legs apart. It traveled up my thigh as her tongue forced it's way into my mouth.
I was getting scared now and really tried to get up and away from her but she was too strong for me. Her hand slipped inside my panties and began rubbing my pussy while she tried to unbutton my blouse with her other hand. I fought her as much as I could but to make a long story short she had her way with me.
Afterwards as she lay with her head still between my legs slowly licking up the last of my juices, she looked up at me, smiled and said, "This will be our little secret won't it?" I guess I didn't answer fast enough for her because suddenly she arose and without warning slapped me flush across the face not once but twice.
As I fought back tears of anger she snarled at me, "Listen to me you mousy little bitch. You're going to say nothing to no one about his, understand? If you do I'll fix it so that you never get out of this school. I'll make your life a living hell unlike anything you've ever dreamed of. Understand me you little whore?"
Her words stung me but I saw she was holding all the cards and would do exactly what she said she would do. I felt a grudging admiration for her because I saw how she had maneuvered me into this position of vulnerability.
"All right, I won't say a word."
"That's my girl," she said with a smile. "Now I want you back here tomorrow again for more typing. In fact I think I may have a lot of work for you from now on. Plan your time accordingly."
And so began our little dance, as I called it. Three, sometimes four nights a week she would order me to stay late with her. As soon as we were alone she would take me into her office. Sometimes she would be quite gentle with me while other times she would simply throw me roughly unto her desk and begin sucking on my clit like there was no tomorrow. Sometimes she would force me to lie on my stomach while she spent ten or fifteen minutes licking out my ass and driving her tongue deep inside of it, all the time whispering to me how sweet my tender young ass tasted. No perversion was too much for her and she would make me do the same things to her
I came to take some pleasure from our encounters except for one thing. She had all the power and I was her slave and it was the opposite that I craved. I began to fantasize about walking into her office and ordering her to crawl across the floor and lick my shoes. I wanted her to have to sniff and lick my soiled panties and I wanted to hurt her in some way to get even with her. But this was not to be.
The simple truth was that finally I graduated, went away to college and planned never to see her again. Our times together seemed to fade away and I pushed them out of my conscious mind.
I vowed that things at college would be different. By this time I was very pretty with long auburn hair and a nice sexy body if I do say so myself. However I never flaunted it too much, I was more comfortable in loose, conservative clothing and thick glasses. I looked average this way even though I knew that with a little effort I could be what the boys called 'hot'.
I had a small circle of friends at school that I hung out with. Things seemed to be going smoothly until one day one of the girls laughingly told us that she had stolen some of her brother's porn flicks and invited us over to watch them. You know, one of those stupid Friday night things that girls at college sometimes do. I had no interest in seeing them but didn't want to be a 'prude' so I dutifully showed up with four other girls later that night.
Well these were movies that he had obviously copied from the originals because the editing was choppy and the scenes were in no special order. The girls were hootin' and hollerin' and I was bored although I didn't let on. Then, suddenly, the scene on the tape changed and so did the course of my life.
Some girl was in the process of getting laid by two huge black cocks when suddenly on the screen the scene changed and two girls appeared. One girl left to go to the bathroom and while she was gone the first slipped something into her drink. Returning, she gulped down her drink and was soon woozy and half asleep. The first girl smiled happily and proceeded to rape the first girl who was too woozy to fight back. All the time she was raping this girl she was smiling and giggling and enjoying herself immensely.
Suddenly I was no longer bored. My heartbeat increased and my pussy began to tingle.
"Oh fuck yes," I mumbled to myself. The other girls started booing and making fun of the movie and accusing the girl's brother of being a pervert.
On the screen the first girl had tied up the girl she had raped and was now saying that the fun was just getting started. I wanted more than anything to see more but the other girls made her take out that tape and play something else. I went along with what they wanted but when we left that night I had that tape stuffed down the front of my jeans.
It was all I could do to keep myself from running back to my room when my friends lingered momentarily outside the dorms to say goodnight. Finally after what seemed an eternity, I closed and locked the door to my room and slipped the tape into my VCR.
They say an epiphany is something that changes or sums up a group of events. If that is true then that tape was an epiphany in my life because after viewing that movie, I was never the same again.
The girl in that movie had tied up the other girl she had previously raped and now she proceeded to abuse her. First she slapped the girl a few times, delighting in the sound and feel of her flesh on the other girls face. The victim's cries of fear and pain only served to spur the first girl on.
Lighting up a cigarette she dropped the still lit match on the girl's stomach and giggled with joy as she screamed in pain. She licked up the tears that rolled down that girls face and then began applying that cigarette to various parts of her body.
My god, the juices were flowing down my leg as I masturbated wildly as I watched. Never in my wildest imagination had I envisioned anything like this.
By the time she had plugged in an electric curling iron and anally raped the other girl with it, I was withering on the floor in the middle of the most intense orgasm I had ever had. More torture followed and the scene suddenly ended just as she was about to force a pillow over the other girl's face.
I lay right there on the floor for god knows how long. I had climaxed at least three times during the movie and in fact I was still aroused. The girl in that movie had amazed me with her eagerness to inflict pain and suffering on the other girl. It had been wonderful to watch. A side of my personality I didn't know existed now opened itself up to me.
How wonderful it would be to have the power over that girl to do anything I desired. I wanted more than anything else at that moment to be that girl, to be doing those things myself. Something crossed over in me at that moment and I knew there would be no going back Does that make sense to you? Too fucking bad.
I began searching out video stores that might carry these types of movies. Finally, in the seedier section of town I found one that carried what they called S&M movies. I had to endure strange looks and suggestive comments from one of the clerks there but I was beyond caring about that. Most of these movies were run of the mill productions where someone was half-heartedly whipped or had clothespins attached to their nipples or pussy. I found them boring.
I did find a few better movies where there was an honest attempt to show women abusing and hurting other women. They seemed quite realistic and I loved them. I spent long hours watching these movies and drawing solace from the fact that I was not the only person in the world with an attraction to this type of thing. I often wondered what type of 'special' movies might be available by special request but I shuddered to think of what those slimy clerks would say or even try to make me do to get them. Besides, they were ultimately only movies, not the real thing.
The real thing. More and more my mind drifted to the possibility of actually doing the things I had seen in these movies. The power this would bestow upon me would be amazing. I would get wet down there just thinking about it. But how to go about it?
Over the next few months I became obsessed with the idea of taking someone and using them for my own ends. Any one of those dumb bitches I hung out with would do. Who would care if they went missing except for a few odd people back where they came from?
But reason and fear always held me back. After all, I didn't want to get caught. The time and place never seemed right. The where and how always seemed wrong.
In the meantime I began going to the Health Center on campus and working out in the circuit training room. I didn't want to look like some female bodybuilder but I wanted to increase my strength and general fitness level. Somehow in my mind this was tied in with my developing compulsions. If I was going to be in control of someone, it was important that I be physically superior to them. Besides, I must admit that I found being around a large number of nude and semi-nude women in the locker room very arousing. The "Future Victims Club Of America" was how I saw them in my mind.
As the months passed my strength increased at least threefold and I was able to run three miles on the indoor track with no problem. I felt strong and powerful But my dreams had not yet come to be in the real world. I began to despair of ever fulfilling my fantasies. When it finally happened however, it was as much of a surprise to me as to anyone.
The school I attended was located in a remote wooded area surrounded on three sides by steep hills. There was a small town just off campus but the only real city was about an hour away via the interstate. Several small two- lane roads also meandered to the city but no one used them much since the interstate was twice as fast. Also there was no lighting on these small roads and driving on them at night was a real task as they contained many sudden turns. Plus if you had mechanical trouble, you were out in the middle of nowhere.
I liked driving these small out of the way roads however. I could be alone with my thoughts and not have to worry about some jerk in a semi cutting me off or something. The roads were twisty and dark but I handled them with ease.
On this one particular night, I was returning from the city after renting a couple of new S&M movies. One of them in particular looked like it was going to be fun as the box cover showed a lovely young woman just about to burn another woman with some type of branding iron or something. Yummy!
I was sort of aroused thinking about how much fun it would be to use that iron on some of the girls at the college and I slipped my hand down between my legs to feel my wetness. I guess my attention to the road wandered just momentarily because the next thing I knew I was jerked back to reality by something in the road that I saw out of the corner of my eye. I saw movement and a flash of something white and then before I could react I had hit the object with a glancing blow of my fender. The object careened wildly into the woods and disappeared from sight.
I slammed on my brakes as I realized that it had been a bicyclist that I had struck. Oh my god, what was a bicycle doing out here at night. I pulled off the road and grabbing a flashlight from the glove compartment I ran into the woods at the spot where the collision had occurred.
After a moment my night vision improved and I could see the front end of the bike maybe twenty yards ahead of me on the ground. The rear of the bike was pretty smashed from the impact but as I approached it there was no sign of the rider.
"Hello! Anyone here?" I yelled out.
"Help me, please help me." A voice from nearby called out.
About ten yards away was a huge boulder and the voice came from the other side. I ran around and there on the ground was a girl I had seen several times in the Health Center working out. She lay with her back propped up on the rock. I guessed that after hitting the ground or whatever she had crawled over to this spot.
The trees were broken here and she lay bathed in moonlight. Her left leg was obviously broken and beginning to swell and she had many other little cuts and abrasions. But she was conscious and alert thank god.
"My god I'm sorry I never saw you till it was too late. Are you ok?"
"I know I shouldn't have been out here at night. Oh shit, my leg hurts. I think it's broken. Help me."
"Your leg looks bad. Do you think you can walk on it as far as my car?"
"No way. It hurts too much. Please, go get some help."
"Ok, look, my cell phone is in the car. I'll go back and call for help. I'll be back," I called over my shoulder as I ran back to the road. I jumped into my car and pulled my cell from my purse. I was just about to call 911 when I saw the cover of that video I had rented on the seat of my car. That woman with the branding iron stared up at me.
I felt a twinge between my legs. It dawned on me that we were out in the middle of nowhere with no one around for miles. Miles and miles. No one drove these roads at night.
My heartbeat increased. My god, was I actually going to do what I had been thinking about doing for months now? I tried to think clearly but all I kept thinking about was that no one would ever know what happened out here. I was free to do whatever the hell I wanted.
Think, think, I told myself. My nipples were hard and I realized that I had unconsciously been rubbing them through my t-shirt. You know you want to. Do it, I told myself, just fucking do it. No one will ever know. She's yours, fucking do her!
Once my hand slid slowly inside my jeans and touched my wet, silky panties I was beyond the point of no return. I caressed myself for a moment and then my mind was made up. "Fuck it all" I said aloud.
I started my car and drove ahead about twenty feet where the trees parted and drove into the dark woods. I didn't want my car to be visible just in case someone actually did come along. I parked it behind a rocky outcropping and satisfied myself that it could not be seen from the road.
I took my glasses off and set them up on the dash and then undid my hair and let it fall freely down to my shoulders. No need to hide or disguise myself now. I felt strangely free and calm now that the decision to take this girl had been made. There would be no turning back.
I approached the girl from another direction from the one I had left from. I stood in the dark of the woods unobserved and checked her out. In my right hand was the tire iron from the car's jack. It was the only thing in my car that I might find useful, I thought. I saw how unprepared I had really been. Well, this would have to do.
She lay right where I had left her, propped up against that boulder. Her legs were spread apart and even from this distance I could see how swollen her knee was. Good, I thought, she wouldn't be running away.