Borrowing His Body Ch. 05

"Haha, yeah. I wouldn't want anything to happen to your face either." I unfolded my legs and leaned back slowly to join him. "I probably like it just as much as you." I swallowed way too loudly.

Oh gawd, did I just gulp!?

I was the anxious one here, so fuck me.

"Haha, oh do you?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's...um...really nice."

"Thanks, Jake. That means...something...yeah, it means something wild to hear that coming from you."

"Yeah, I just...man, I can't get over how pretty your eyes are. They're just, like, always bright and shining...and..."

"I know what you mean, haha."

"Hey! Cocky much?"

I turned to look at him, but he kept staring at the ceiling.

"No, it's just that I also find myself rapt looking into my own eyes from this vantage point. But the wonder isn't new to me. Your blue eyes stunned me before too. It makes me wonder if it's the eyes or the person behind them I'm profoundly attracted to..."

I blushed. I knew I did. Even though I couldn't see myself, embarrassment tickled to the surface of cheeks stretched over pointy cheekbones. And I turned my head back to gaze up at the white nothingness of my ceiling (my room was pretty drab back then). In my peripheral vision, I saw him shift to look at me.

He continued, "Jake, I'm apprehensive here, you know, to talk about this, but...did you ever feel anything for me before? I'm asking about any little thing, here. Some kind of remote attraction, maybe, since you knew you were gay and I was too. Haha, well we still are, you know, gay, so I guess that was poorly worded. What I mean is, geez, was there anything there at all? Or was this just like now because of what happened...and...ugh..."

I closed my eyes. Fuck this, I can't handle this shit right now. I turned my head to face him, then curled up and turned fully onto my side. I met his eyes full on and almost flinched at the intense contact.

"Devlin...I...haven't really ever talked about this so..." I was slow to it, like someone ever so slightly turned the knob on a pressure valve in me. I whistled out a bit of the built-up steam.

But first he cut me off, attempting to retighten it, set it back to where it should be. All systems clear, pressure on, running at full speed.

"Right, no worries, I don't mean to discomfit you or anything." His neck flexed and flicked his head back up to the ceiling: distraction, detachment surely caught his eyes there. "Forget I asked," he pressed on, embarrassed obviously, "I just figured, what with this terrifyingly new experience looming we should maybe compare notes before...but you kno—"

"No! No. Devlin, stop. I want to do this. I want to finally come out...hahaha, not come out, but you know, I want to come out and say this. To come clean." I paused. "And, well, I also want to come out...in that other way...at least right now to you...Dammit! I'm going to get this out there!"

I sat upright abruptly.

He propped himself on his left shoulder.

"Devlin..."

"Yes, Jake?"

"You know when we, ahem, ran into each other before..."

He nodded. Carrying on... "And, well, my buddies would pick on you..."

"You and your buddies would pick on me, Jake! I can't let you off the hook that easily." His smile about it was sincere, but he still looked pretty serious.

"Yeah, when I picked on you too...but not as bad as the other guys!" I hurried that in there, a bit flustered.

"Yes, Jake, fine."

"Well, whenever that happened, even just last week when I did that to you with them...I was more than just a bit interested in you as a target."

This is really terrible, I should shut up! He'll hate me for this, said a voice I happened to love ignoring.

"So, you see, I kind of went along with all these little Devlin-bullying bits to make sure you were okay, well mostly okay. You know, not too beat up or worse for wear? I just, couldn't see them really fuck you up, especially after hearing all the fucked up shit all of those guys said about you, what with you being openly gay and all..."

He paused. There was something like shock in his eyes.

Called this fucking shit, he probably hates me now. "Why didn't you fucking stop them altogether then, you fuck?!" Fuck me.

He cleared his throat and shifted on his arms.

"Yeah..." he paused, "well, I always half-wondered why you never laid hands on me." Another interruption of silence. "What you say kind of pisses me off though, Jake! Though I'm fairly certain I'm aware of the answer to my question, this still merits asking, why didn't you stick up for me, for yourself even? Haven't some of us set the example securely enough for other guys out there in the closet to feel just comfortable enough to stick up for our community even a little? Has Glee accomplished nothing!?" He sat up and threw his hands up into the air as he cried out that last bit.

I just fucking stared at him wide-eyed. What the fuck, he can't be serious!

"I'm joking, Jake! Joking! Lighten up!" (The sassmaster in me hoped he wasn't so I could rip his television interests to shreds like the entertainment snob I knew I could be)

"Hahahaha, okay! Phew, gawd, so glad you are. Fuck Glee, man."

"Right, but my point is, this isn't '97! This is 2013 and the social atmosphere's different now!"

"Yeah, I know but...it's just..."

"Look, Jake, all I'm saying is it'd be nice if you stuck your neck out there a bit for me. I know the implications of that kind of jeopardizing move, but you overestimate the heteros. You'd be fine! And, fuck, if we can't resolve this catastrophe before soon you have to be making quite the display for me to make up for all of your pussyfooting hitherto."

"Hitherto, Devlin? Really?" I asked. (Why I didn't go for "pussyfooting" was beyond me)

"Hahaha, right, I suppose that one wasn't necessarily called for..."

"Yeah, neither was pussyfooting." (Yeah, go me, get that chide in there!)

(Wait...How do I signify that this parenthetical commentary is, like, play-by-play extra, ironic detail thrown in for the fuck's sake of it all? Is this enough? Does this work? Doesn't it?!)

"Well, regardless! I'm glad to hear you at least had some concern for me!" He said that as he made this grand, dramatic movement to dig his fists into his hips. That kind of flamboyant flourish looked fucking hilarious on my big bulky body. (Ooooh child!)

I laughed.

"Right, well, Jake, is there anything else you want to say...anything at all?" He moved closer to me, obviously.

"Yeah...I also..." I don't know what it is but this shit was getting me worked up. "Fuck, yeah, I always thought you were really cute."

"Awwww, me?!" He splayed out a hand on the center of his chest. (What a loveable, dorky queen)

"Haha, hey, cut that out!" I shoved him and didn't move his body, my hulking mass, one bit.

"Cut what out? Huh? Cut what out?" He grabbed the arm I pushed him with.

"Hey, hey!"

He started to tickle my armpit. He had this big goofy grin on and his eyebrows were raised...and, ugh, it was just ridiculous!

I burst out laughing, one, because Devlin's armpits were apparently a lot more ticklish than my own, and two, because of his absurd fucking shit.

"Aaaah, quit it though!"

"Nope! Hehehe," he giggled, pulled me in, pinned and held me as he tickled.

He kept tickling me in both armpits! (It was super annoying but also crazy kinds of sweet and adorable looking back on it now, how he wittingly played his body's weaknesses against me.)

So I bucked uselessly against him and we tumbled around for a bit. Yeah, it went on for more than half a minute, then, when he seemed to stop he continued moving. His hands rested heavy on my arms. I felt the heat of them, his hands, as his fingertips began working tiny circles. We were flush on the bed. I was pinned. I stopped squirming and looked back at his face. There was heat there too and an easy smile on his lips.

I kissed him in the sloppiest way imaginable: First, rushing my head up too fast, bumping our foreheads a bit, second, diving too quickly and with too gaping a mouth and too flapping a pair of lips for his lips, so slobbering a bit, and third, giving too soon to an urge to plunge my tongue in at him.

So his smile broke just as abruptly as the kiss did. The shock in his eyes, which I practically swallowed haha, blurted to me, 'yeah, okay, let's do this' in way of eagerness and reassurance, so down shut my eyelids. I swam into the kiss with all the liquid and fun of freestyle glides in the pool.

Our tongue play was fevered. Much more intense. Devlin with the edge of size and strength, and he exerted this kind of 'no you come back here with that' vacuuming and wet force on mine. Man, is he trying to swallow my tongue! Now my eyes widened. He peeked under eyelashes, chuckled, let up on my tongue. I pulled it out, backed off till he caught it gently with his front teeth.

He let it go and I reeled it back in for a second before he breathed (the devil had this knack for epic-porn-quality dramatics, but in hindsight I know he must've have meant every move) 'mine' and sank back down on me. And he really sank. Sinking in on me, the feeling I remember most strongly. My borrowed body, this feeble and brittle and...compressed against the bed. Him sinking, nearly sunk with the pressure of him that didn't ease. I was there under the pressure, a magnificent pressure that could pop my ears. I'd dove into this kiss, all ports but my eyes open to the rush of him. To feel not see. You come even closer, you.

Our legs aligned, he grinded down on me. Till that moment so overwhelmed by the kisses I'd come nowhere close to noticing him swiveling his hips, coming down harder, now letting up on my swollen cock. It was aching me really, a wonder I had ignored it. Now the need crawled out and up from down there, into my mouth, now into his as I poured everything in me out into him.

Holy shit, this is happening, this is really happening, said the slower voice back there in my head, the one still rubbernecking at it like some kind of accident, but I was so out of it with cocklust (let's be real, I had it, the bad kind I wouldn't be able to properly name till several forays down the line) I couldn't care less.

I moved to powerfully flip us and take over on top, but the motion came out something more of a buck against him that crushed our cocks up against each other.

"Oooof," this gargled sound came out of his half opened mouth then more clearly formed as he broke our kiss.

My eyes popped. I saw his still closed, smiling in the silent, loving way only possible mid-kiss. "Sorry," I whispered, lips brushing his.

He moaned and closed his lips back over mine. Just as powerfully as his mouth played captor of my tongue, his tongue now played intruder. I sucked it. He tastes so good, how can a tongue taste this good, like mint and agave nectar, what?! HOW!?

It was the last thought I had for a while.

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